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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Breaking your "dry spell" ...      Home login  
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 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 26
Breaking your dry spell ... Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

I'm surprised that someone hasn't already mentioned it but if all you want is to have sex to get "back in the saddle" for a women it should be pretty easy. Advertise that here for one thing and you'd have lots of takers; might be lots of younger guys but what is the difference if all you want to do is get laid. If you hit the bars late, pick out a decent guy and let your desires known ... shouldn't be hard either. Seem like you are like almost all women ... what you SAY you want and what you are willing to do are two entirely different things. Perhaps I'm misconstruing "getting something wet again". If I am then I'd suggest you take a close look at what you want, are really willing to do, and what kind of messages you are sending guys. And do this BEFORE you start meeting guys too.

BS IMO- I think this is a fallacy...I have no problem doing a relationship, but a pick up 4 sex...it never works 4 me...I've had men tell me I was too nice 4 that! as if I don't have needs...
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 27
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 6:58:09 AM
Though my dry spells have never exceeded a few months, I think the key is to NOT think about any particular outcome and just go out and have fun.

When you feel like sharing intimacy with someone, just do it... accept what you're doing and don't label yourself in any derogatory way.

You're a woman. Enjoy it!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 28
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Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 7:17:16 AM
Want to break your dry spell? Get a divorce........

Only time in my life I lived through a dry spell was when I was married.....! The great thing about being not married is that if it isn't working, there are plenty
of opportunities to move on, without the cost of a lawyer.
 softshoe100
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 29
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Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 7:26:50 AM
Janet Always has it right. It's not a life changing decision it's just enjoying each other.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 30
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 7:34:02 AM

Mostly I hold all men to a pretty low standard, and just assume... If a man holds himself to a higher standard, he would probably have to lift my chin and point it out to me, otherwise he'd be measured on the low bar like the rest of them.


Hence the dry spell & YOUR perception of men will only get worse once you experience the games that go along with online dating. I suggest getting used to the idea of remaining single. Can always covert to lesbianism where the bar is much higher.
 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 31
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Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 8:56:31 AM
Do you have amy experience dating lesbians? I don't, so I don't know where the behavioral mean is with that demographic. No idea. My own dry spell is due to taking care of an elderly woman who was paralyzed from the waist down, type one diabetic, complete kidney failure, going blind, with dementia, hoarding and other issues, she passed away after many years, and left me a baboon and a wolf, and other things to take care of, including a decrepit house, and mopping up after decades of her hoarding, and my own variable health during that time. It is not due to lack of interest from men. Just been juggling chainsaws for several years... haven't had the time or energy for men, really. Not exactly bursting with time and energy now, but have more energy and time than before, enogh to consider taking on a man... just standing at the end of the board, contemplating the plunge is all. Thanks all for your thoughts... I'm thinking...
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 32
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 10:03:42 AM
Been through more than a few in my life. And come out of them all, eventually. And learned, that when I'm ready, they're there. And learned that I haven't forgotten how to *discern*. . . . Ya, always a few trolls under bridges. But nothing much to write home about.

Trust yourself, and go ahead and jump in. When you're ready. . . .
 soicat
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 33
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 12:21:19 PM

and left me a baboon and a wolf


Sure. Blame it on the baboon and wolf. You have to make the effort required to let people into your life, and not blame your lack of relationships on other mammals.

I had two giraffes and a tiger and I still found the time to be president of my local Rotary club, and cheat on my wife.

It all comes down to taking personal responsibility for your choices.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 34
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 1:55:09 PM

When you feel like sharing intimacy with someone, just do it... accept what you're doing and don't label yourself in any derogatory way.

You're a woman. Enjoy it!


I agree. As long as you're comfortable, trust your instincts and remember....be water wise. Use protection :)


...mae
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 35
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Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 2:24:57 PM

notdating-forumsonly
I think the best scenario in that situation is with someone you already know and trust.


Blink.... Shake head, do a double take .....

Did she just advocate "Friends with Benefits" ???
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 36
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 2:32:47 PM
^^^I think so, maybe, could be....who knows?



...mae
 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 37
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History
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 4:47:08 PM
soicat. I did take responsibility for my choices. I chose to do what I had to do at the time, with the resources available to me. I did not have time or energy for men at that time. I had health problems, serious ones, that really precluded holding a steady job, much less entertaining men. I kept my word to the woman about caring for her animals in the manner they had become accustomed. I disposed of her mountains of personal belongings piece by piece, completely in accordance to her wishes, with a list of friends and foes, who gets what, what organizations she supported, which ones she did not. It took a lot out of me, and cost mer personally. Would I do it again, knowing the end from the beginning, hell no! But I gave my word and that was it. There went over a decade of my life down the tubes, basically for nothing, but here I am. Done, over it. Ready to move on. Tentatively, sort of. :)
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 38
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 6:38:48 PM
Fixer, I looked at ur ad, what a wonderful, whimsical, quirky, interesting person u seem to be...
A real nature boy will fix that dry spell 4 u & love it too!

I cannot figure out who I should be with...have no clue, other than he needs to be intelligent & kind...
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 39
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 6:59:37 PM

Fixer, I looked at ur ad, what a wonderful, whimsical, quirky, interesting person u seem to be...
A real nature boy will fix that dry spell 4 u & love it too!

I cannot figure out who I should be with...have no clue, other than he needs to be intelligent & kind...


Angel- are you hittin on the OP?
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 40
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 7:03:34 PM
^^^Can women be supportive & kind to eachother w/o it being construed as something sexual???
 shy2anne
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 41
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 7:18:02 PM
i think the op is awesome!
of course, being in a similar position, i have no advice except to take it as it comes. use your head. you're a smart cookie so i know you will do fine.
walking and a vibe are good ideas. (of course not at the same time) :)
~just when i thought i heard everything -about the baboon and a wolf..along comes 2 giraffes and a tiger.
sheesh my life sounds boring now.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 42
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 7:18:54 PM
Fixer, I looked at ur ad, what a wonderful, whimsical, quirky, interesting person u seem to be...
A real nature boy will fix that dry spell 4 u & love it too!


I thought so too blondie....great profile. Sure gave me some insight as to what kind of person you are. Definitely would be someone I would want to hang out with. Honest, open and funny. Don't change a word.

Congrats on the weight loss WOW!!!... 50 lbs... Good for you :)


~just when i thought i heard everything -about the baboon and a wolf..along comes 2 giraffes and a tiger.
sheesh my life sounds boring now.

My life is boring....what do I have? A cat that is afraid of her own shadow and a bird that I inherited who can't sing. Ok, to be fair he can sing a bit, he just can't carry a tune...lol
...mae
 vanityfair55
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 43
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 7:27:11 PM
I gotta add in,I really liked your profile also,I wouldn't change a thing!
 A_Rare_Treasure
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 44
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 8:07:28 PM
Do whatever you think best for yourself, whatever you need. You and only you know what you need, what works in your life. Focus on the positives. I dug this up for you. I hope it helps. Good luck with everything

~ Di


LAWS OF ATTRACTION

After a few (or many) bad relationships, it's so easy to shut down, give up, and stop believing that the right person is out there for us.

Our hearts yearn to fall in love, but our minds insist it's not possible, and we enter into a tug-of-war with ourselves. It's as if one part of us is screaming, Yes! I deserve a great relationship! While another part insists, I'll never find him or her.

When our beliefs contradict our desires, we experience an inner conflict that not only paralyzes us, but can actually prevent us from recognizing the possibilities for love that exist all around us.

The universal Law of Attraction states that we draw to us those people, events, and circumstances that match our inner state of being.

In other words, we attract experiences that are consistent with our beliefs. If we believe that there is plenty of love in the world and we are worthy of giving and receiving that love, we will attract a
different quality of relationships than someone who believes in scarcity or feels unworthy of happiness.

If we believe the world is a loving and friendly place, then most of the time that will be our experience. If we believe the world is a chaotic, stressful, and fearful place, then eventually that will become our reality.

So, believing and knowing that your soulmate is out there is a critical first step in the formula for manifesting him or her into your life.

~~ quote by Arielle Ford
 raicor
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 45
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 8:50:06 PM
have gone through the requisite emotional intellectual research to gain the strength of able to be alone. so, it is more a matter of a matching personality, with some beneficial difference, than a sexual need. yes, different than most males. but, being able to be alone and not tie my self worth to whether or not some will have sex with me has vastly improved the compatibility assessment. and, will agree, that the fairly tale "one person for me" is simply that, fairly tale. this site should at least prove through searching for others that there may be many compatible people.

"i think i've finally found the one. didn't you say that last time?"
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 46
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/16/2012 9:04:44 PM
Sometimes a woman just wants to get laid, nsa. Then after she is rejuvenated, she can pursue a relationship.
The Law of Attraction thing describes me to a tee. Want it, but been hurt, so I must be putting out the wrong vibe...
 Ivy8
Joined: 8/7/2012
Msg: 47
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/17/2012 5:38:12 AM
I've had a 'dry spell' for about 3 years. Can't seem to find success in meeting someone even for dating, or compatible and interested in something meaningful. At the point of giving up completely.
 A_Rare_Treasure
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 48
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/17/2012 3:25:03 PM
NSA can be a good thing when you are unable to risk getting hurt again.

With NSA there is no risk of failure because every time you get together, it is simply that .. close human contact and nothing more. You are safe from those feelings of failure ...

However I found them to have a high trade-off because it doesn't matter if NSA or not, a guy has to interest me for me to be intimate and I adore the fella. If NSA enough times, yes, I even love him ... (not in-love though) tried it a couple of times and ended up with two good friends afterwards.

It's comforting because two people are actually healing together, getting some human closeness and emotionally safe from rejection because each time is a success.

It all depends where we are when it comes to healing inside, finding ourselves and mostly loving the person we are. Once you like then truly love yourself, no one can make you feel rejected because you know the truth about who you are -- this amazing person.

Not finding a match is merely not finding a person in the same headspace as yourself ... some are ready for commitment, some are not.

Some are hurting so bad, that all they want is some time where there is pure obvilion to escape thinking and/or their life. *sigh* being intimate with a good partner is just so good ....

I used to say that I wanted sex and I was really looking for love. Then when I decided I was looking for love, I was only really interested in sex.

Now I am looking for love and sex together ..... and that is whole different place nowadays ... *smile*
it's a great place to be ... it took a few years ...

How can another person love you if you don't love yourself. Once you know to the depth of your being, how great you are ... everyone will see it too .... and that will attract a totally different type of fellow.

Believe in who you are .. and what you offer. Most of all, you are not a disease or whatever health issues are going on. You are a beautiful woman, first and foremost ....
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 49
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/17/2012 4:22:20 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^
great post- I think there is a collective waste of good vaginas going on, LOL!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 50
Breaking your dry spell ...
Posted: 8/17/2012 4:33:05 PM

great post- I think there is a collective waste of good vaginas going on, LOL



Hahahaha.......just tickled my funny bone. Oh my gawd blondie. You just throw it on out there don't you?


...mae
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