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 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 2
Dating and CellphonesPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Like you, I don't have young children any longer.

Yes, I would go out with someone and agree to turn off the cell phone throughout the date.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 3
Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 8/18/2012 8:14:20 AM
LOL!

I normally forget to turn mine on.
 photopilot1
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 4
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 8/18/2012 1:13:17 PM
"......you might want to question WHY they don't want you to have access to your phone."

That's an easy one to answer. Because too many times guys have sat at a dinner table in a restaurant and the woman is STILL on the phone, either talking or texting their friends or checking FB for updates.

Tell me, if you're in a restaurant having dinner on a date, do you really need a phone "on and at the ready" in case the guy does something stupid? In Public???? That's paranoia.
 photopilot1
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 5
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 8/19/2012 2:09:25 PM
You miss the point entirely.
It's got nothing to do with being a "control freak". What are you going to do, tell us that the restaurant that offers a 5% discount and takes your phone for the duration of the meal.... that the restaurant is a control freak? I think not. They have just learned from long experience that where some people are concerned, they have absolutely NO self-control in regards to their phone use. The same in movie theatres.

And I'm not "demanding" but rather phrasing such as.... "Hey, let's both turn off our cellphones and only pay attention to each other for dinner." Some women I've dated see that simple statement as both refreshing and considerate. I just wanted to see what others thought.
 aGent Lemon
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 6
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 8/19/2012 5:42:16 PM
Although during such moments my own phone would remain completely out of view on while in vibrate mode... but usually asked to be seen to show many of the various applications added on... I hardly ever feel bothered by those interuptions, maybe in sensing that they very much appear to otherwise enjoy the conversations, especially in their calling to arrange another time to meet up again... and already know they can fully be upfront to especially let me know if it's not working out. Not that I would ever ask who it is, but often get told it's their adult son or daughter -- to ask a quick important question, mom or dad -- in finally finding the time to call back... or a friend -- in some sort of distress. Sure, people can wait until afterwards, but truly... a few seconds every now and then of them texting won't hurt me, probably because I have quite the patience.
 RockinRollMan
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 7
Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 8/19/2012 6:13:58 PM
My phone is always on vibrate or ringer off, and I rarely get calls so I am not too worried. I also don't work in any industry where I am constantly needing to check my email or browse the Internet. Not to mention using phones during a date is kind of rude.
 aGent Lemon
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 8
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 8/20/2012 7:55:18 PM
You're just making crazy excuses because you're addicted.

It doesn't make any sense to call it addiction for wanting to keep the phone on unanswered as it doesn't cause any hinderance... at least for those of us that don't get so "easily" distracted from it quietly vibrating. Sometimes the date could last for many of hours at a time... whereas her family and friends will most likely want to check how she's getting along. But hey, I guess that's one of the many reasons why most people can appreciate me for not getting too upset over anything. If by any chance I ever do feel that they spend too much time on the phone, I would politely let them know I probably should get going then leave... and figure she just wasn't interested enough to carry through... which at least I know she's quite the inconsiderate rather than continuously blindspot myself.
 aGent Lemon
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 9
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 8/21/2012 8:57:24 AM
Okay... just for the record... I'm not trying to insult anybody... but simply stating my own observation and will make emphasis from what I remember reading through a Pocket Webster Dictionary... which is sort of ironic in itself because our pockets would need to have about 3 times the usual volume size for it to fit, heh.

Yes, many people have survived throughout their lives without needing a phone at all... survived without needing a car... survived without television... survived without having internet access... survived without the existence of radio... survived without installing a house/business/car alarm system... survived without any form of technology... and whatever else there is along those lines... but that shouldn't mean people need to avoid taking added precautions... because who knows how many dozens of women suddenly went missing each year before everybody could afford to make an instant emergency call... why reject an opportunity to stay safe just as police officers would suggest?

Heck... during my teenage years, I did give out my home number out to hundreds of people I knew... whereas it would be constantly ringing that my parents had asked for me to put it on mute anytime I left. It doesn't mean I would always spend more than an hour on the line daily... although I can admit there were a few ladies who would happily keep the conversation going for over 4 hours right through and can considerate that an addiction as it would cause me to lose out on getting a required amount of sleep before the past 18 years. Somehow I volunteerily became the middle person in deciding where to party way back then and often got us full VIP access by recognition... then had a huge list of what my friends wanted to "legally" buy and sell in earning a reasonable amount of extra cash for myself, "usually" accepting calls between 8am-11am and 7:30pm-11pm... especially hoping to meet success minded people in search of a very enthusiatic business partner... but exactly as predicted to why their company will soon fail... I felt rather fortunate to not have put in those investments... and at least learned how to... well... that's a whole other story... but eversince 18 years ago... I chose to let hardly anybody have my number so I can focus way more on my endevours giving others my email and lately... can contact me through facebook.

I love to write, especially poetry... but not texting or just idle chatting on the phone rather than meeting up with them. In fact, even to only dance jokingly with them seems to do farrrrr better for communicating in terms of expressing ourselves. Yet, there has been a time where one woman in particular tried to tell everybody lies about me in an effort to manipulate my friends in believing I was in the wrong... and finally told her that I will resort to showing all the messages she sent to prove why she shouldn't be trusted. Apparently, girly imagined it should be perfectly fine for her to speak out against a man who she wasn't even yet intimate with, but not allow the falsely accused to provide evidence in defending his case, messages that were sent each half an hour on average which got barely a response from me. When everybody read for themselves how much of a psycho she was, they apologized for always insisting I give her more of a chance. Ugh... I even had to immediately block her from posting on my facebook wall which she freaked out against to say that people should be aware that we're dating... so again, I later on showed her what was our agreement and also made the verification among those who were accountable female witnesses. So... at least we have those text messages to clear our names away from the manipulative "types"... as if a Horror-Comedy quick to become a best-seller.
 Phil_an_derer
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 10
Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 8/24/2012 6:12:49 PM
I don't have a cell phone ..I'm not that important.....wow some of you don't believe in brevity do you.......
 Wireburner
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 11
Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 8/26/2012 9:51:53 PM
I have a 2 year old son, and if I'm out it is how I am reached.

My phone is on vibrate except for two numbers for text or call (there is a very simple application for most phones), which make a distinct sound. I ignore vibrations as they can wait, but if it makes a noise, I politely excuse myself to my date as it is regarding my son.

A quick look, and unless it is an emergency, the phone goes back into the pocket. If a response is warrented, I wait for an opportune time, such as when my date is in the restroom for example.

Hell, I have the same rule when I go play poker. The people in front of me are currently occupying my time.
 aGent Lemon
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 12
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 9/6/2012 4:11:43 PM
Haaa... several months ago, both a wife and her husband I've known for more than a year insisted on hooking me up with a woman the wife has been friends with for decades showing me quite a few very beautiful pictures they took of her... then later on told me she was heading over to visit them within 30 minutes in which we can meet... and soon enough there she was who practically did all the talking for which I was very glad about. Then after about 20 minutes... she looked at her cell and quickly excused herself to answer it in being urgent as I've appreciated... but suddenly she began shouting out many horrific words into that phone of hers... and thought what an odd first day impression by contrast... much the less understood the person on the other line was a police officer to be given threats to??? Yep... from being very interested to no longer having any personal interest in her... meanwhile, she didn't appear to be the unlady-like type what-so-ever... although it's acceptable in my opinion for anybody to express their anger given the circumstances... to remain civil is by far a preference of mine.
 aGent Lemon
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 13
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 9/9/2012 5:11:56 PM
In ever showing any such anger, hardly... that in a few of those moments, anybody who has known me for many of years said they were amazed to finally hear me raise my tone which apparently some confessed about trying to see if they could get me upset enough... and is the only major downside about keeping relatively calm I guess. Was told plenty of times that I should not keep that all bottled up, but... it doesn't feel that way at all. However... what scares me the most is realizing how almost everybody has found this to be incredible, flattering as it might be to hear, for what meaning are words intended to offend given no value... yet, be the only person they know that can remain quite relatively pleasant throughout various complications.

It's really more a matter of how each of us condition ourselves to think... although any type of person can suddenly become a brutal incoherent monster.

By addressing whatever problems with animosity can often cause way more harm than good in return, especially in comparison to remaining civilized... like two men ironically wanting to fight eachother to the death over which of their countries is a whole lot more civilized... meanwhile the repercussion is... both of them can very much lose... one spending several years in jail... the other... a whole lot of months hospitalized... aside from the devestation their friends and family would feel.

The overall compassionate behaviour of a woman is the bottomline of what can seal the deal with me... so maybe she is a really nice person in general... although it wasn't like witnessing her rob an elderly woman, but learned I've been much happier around those who always seem civilized... although I can remain as a acquaintence with those who are noticibly not.
 aGent Lemon
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 14
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 9/11/2012 4:27:46 PM
To me, there's a whole lot of people I met who "seem" absolutely civilized, as it's impossible to follow all of them around to know for certain... but ya, we tend to get along very easily. Among much of what anybody could learn, those who are very compassionate can always get along with others who are as compassionate, no matter where they're from... how much money they make... how talented... their religious beliefs or otherwise... how they look like... or of the sort. Perhaps having taken quite a challenge on myself to overcome how extremely shy I had been gave me ample opportunity to see this differently... even about 2 decades later... each of them have remained their civil selves. It's not that I'm afraid of facing every conlict... in fact, I love trying to solve problems for which the vast majority of people were not able to in term of critical thinking, it's just the malevolence that is too disturbing for me to desire such a person, but met several who were able to take some great advice that changed them eversince for many of years... which I did agree, she might be a wonderful person in general... now adding that people can change their ways... except I'm not the psychiatrist in understanding if I will be able to make them stay civilized, rather than accept them for already being quite the compassionate... and maybe I just never felt desperate to do so much as I lust for the intimacy. Heck... who knows how many are truly civilized... but to at least still believe a whole lot of them who actually look attractive while single.

Now back on topic of the cell phone... as for being in a long line-up in a store... think of how often we hear people yelling all kinds of profanities into their phones... or even sometimes airing out their own dirty laundry when decades ago... barely anybody would be raising their voice... except at their children... the supervisors... or employees.
 aGent Lemon
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 15
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 9/11/2012 11:28:56 PM
It's not like I hate or even dislike her as rather being disinterested since that type of personality just isn't in my nature to attempt having a relationship with. I've willingly spent much of my time around many of those who felt rejected by everybody meanwhile most people would ask me why make such a bother, sometimes trying to make fun of me for it... but would simply say those are my friends as well... so perhaps I should socialize with them instead.

Had a new neighbour my age as a teenager who kept making a wide variety of threats to his entire family as he got in return very much on a daily basis. I got completely ignored the first day given a chance to make a kind welcome... and waited several weeks after to find what might be a better moment which was in walking towards. When I said hello, he simply told me to get lost; in a manner of speaking... and I just told him it's okay... we can check out the ladies at the swimming pool area later, well... I didn't know what else to say back then. Soon enough, it seemed like everybody hated him and his family... meanwhile I kept trying to stop the ongoing chaos that the family would always invite me over. I felt like a psychiatrist in an effort to answer many of their questions... and a huge surprise that I seem to know so much at my young age, at which I read various books about why people might think the way they do, especially in my wanting to be an all compassionate lyricist. Anyhow... they eventually learned how to get along and with others a whole lot better, in fact, the dude has thanked me for the fact that he became married to very beautiful woman as he had taken practice... ha, what a kicker if you only witnessed how he initially began dropping f-bombs word after word, eyes closed. The point is... I won't try to change people to be suited for me... as that has always defied my own sense of chemisty... like being able to laugh effortlessly with a lady straight through the day as as we would often encounter.

Of course... you can believe whatever you like... most people prefer to be extremely skeptical about everything... not that I'm implying it's necessarily wrong, but understood what it means to be biased. I've worked about 5 years alongside of a woman who continuously tried to call me a liar from listening into my conversations, yet... I didn't care to ever give her a response. It turned out that I was the only person aside from her husband she felt able to trust... well... maybe because I thankfully calmed a giant down who looked like he wanted to kill her which I promised to handle the situation in a non-threating way... to tell me what horrors had become of her life, which I suggested she put her pride aside to make a huge apology to everybody... to spend much more time with her parents who should be both far happier to see her happy... to let her daughters explain their mischevious action, then tell them that you just want what's best for them because of how much you love those two regardless... and the next thing I realized, she was super appreciative... and everybody was like... you "finally" had a talk with her didn't you?

Funny thing is, I've heard at least 20 people making bets... including my department manager, that I would stop being so cheerful in a matter of 6 month to a maximum of a year... but lasted the entire 8 years.
 2NeverLookBack
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 16
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 9/21/2012 6:34:15 AM
No, I'd rather keep them on....great way to get to know someone by knowing who they interact with, I say be open. Shut off phones are a red flag to me .
 everburning
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 17
Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 9/25/2012 3:19:06 AM
I think that paying attention to someone on a date is important. It is pretty much common courtesy to you know pay attention to someone when they are speaking :P
 stew721
Joined: 5/25/2010
Msg: 18
Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 9/29/2012 10:53:43 PM
I'd consider turning it off; however, my cellular device is my livelyhood. I run my business almost entirely from it and am on-call 24/7/365.

I do have service agreements in-place with numerous clients in which I pay financial penalties if I don't make first contact and/or am not on-site within the time-frame as per their contract with me. My time for first contact varies from 1 hour to 6 hours and my time to be on-site varies with from 4 hours to 24 hours; dependant upon the specific client's contract terms.

The best that I could do is to ignore personal calls/e-mails/messages/etc., but I do have to respond to contract clients though. As for turning it in to a restaurant or wherever for the duration of my stay, specifically, I'd never consider that as an option.
 onehappyfellow
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 19
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Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 1/6/2013 1:40:54 PM
Don't have, don't need and don't want a cell phone. When I leave my home with my land line in it I am fully engaged with the real world and the people in it.
 KER6969
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 20
Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 1/7/2013 7:35:09 PM
My cell phone is only on when I leave my house and it's shut off in the presence of others and when I return home. I believe that is respect and courtesy. If I'm out and someone in a restaurant (another diner) has their phone on and it's ringing, or they are chatting on it I report it to the manager as it's rude and disruptive. I figure I'm there to dine and enjoy another person's company not to listen to someone else babble on their phone.

If I'm on a date and a guy doesn't have his phone off I consider it a dealbreaker and very rude.

So to answer your question, yes definitely.
 Xelente
Joined: 6/19/2012
Msg: 21
Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 1/8/2013 7:06:39 AM
I was just on a date over the weekend and due to my career, I was "on call". Still went ahead for the date (hoping that no calls would come through) and sure enough, I got a call that I needed to take as I support multiple offices of attorneys spanning both Canada and the US. I didn't answer right away, I waited to see if they'd leave a voice message, which they did. I checked it and it was simple issue, so I returned the call.

The date went great! I apologized to her regarding having to take the call, but she understood and it was in essence, a non issue.

I don't think the issue really has to do with phones, but more what the reason for answering the phone is and your etiquette.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 22
Dating and Cellphones
Posted: 3/25/2013 6:50:12 PM

You miss the point entirely.
It's got nothing to do with being a "control freak". What are you going to do, tell us that the restaurant that offers a 5% discount and takes your phone for the duration of the meal.... that the restaurant is a control freak? I think not. They have just learned from long experience that where some people are concerned, they have absolutely NO self-control in regards to their phone use. The same in movie theatres.

And I'm not "demanding" but rather phrasing such as.... "Hey, let's both turn off our cellphones and only pay attention to each other for dinner." Some women I've dated see that simple statement as both refreshing and considerate. I just wanted to see what others thought. --- photopilot1


I'm with you, pilot.

I don't have this problem, the cellphone thing. I don't use them. I don't want them. I don't have them. End of story. If I go on a date with someone, even a normal 'meeting' of any kind, and that person brings out a cellphone, I walk away - and keep walking. It's that simple. I don't mess around anymore. I don't compete with anyone's electronic device. I don't have to. I think more of myself.

Blessings
Peter
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