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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What is a healthy process? To date or not to date others?      Home login  
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 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 11
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What is a healthy process? To date or not to date others?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
You seem hell bent on rationalizing his behavior every which way to Sunday.

No, a guy who's all in with you does not leave his options open. He comes after you with everything he has and makes it clear that YOU are the one he's after.

Both men and women can respond here, and it is against forum rules to polarize threads.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 12
What is a healthy process? To date or not to date others?
Posted: 8/29/2012 10:39:52 AM
Dating other people is fine AS LONG AS THE OTHER PERSON KNOWS. That can't be stressed enough to people on this site.

But it depends... If you're just looking to date and not end up with a relationship, then it's perfectly fine to date other people, but if you're looking for a relationship, you're looking for something serious, it's better to focus on one person at a time
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 13
What is a healthy process? To date or not to date others?
Posted: 8/29/2012 10:40:24 AM
Just a note, OPie: on *these* forums, we don't get to specify *gender* of replies. You just get to take it as it comes.

I will say that over a lifetime, I've met and been involved with a ton of males, and haven't found two that thought the same about things, evah. So I think you're on a pretty hopeless quest.
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 14
What is a healthy process? To date or not to date others?
Posted: 8/29/2012 12:04:16 PM
If I am dating someone & I am talking to guys on here to me its just as being not really connected. As if he's doing the same. Its addicting to chat to the opposite sex when u are bored. But if im trying to really get to know someone which is on the same page w that & after our dates is o. Here chatting with women its not a good way to start & it may be too hard for him to ever start. I never look at who they've matched me with or look at. Profiles & just send out lots if messages. If a guy has been doing this nightly for years its becomes what he does. I feel he wont stop.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 15
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What is a healthy process? To date or not to date others?
Posted: 8/29/2012 12:24:45 PM
When someone tells me to take down my account or hide it or whatever, that's when I know to move on. I don't care to date a guy who is that insecure or sneaky or thinks he knows what I should do with my time. If I wanted to cheat, I'd find a way and be much more cleaver about it then still having a profile up that he could see. Since I don't want to cheat, either I'm trustworthy to someone or I'm not. If he's going to look for trouble and follow my account and tell me what to do, he's not worth it.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 16
What is a healthy process? To date or not to date others?
Posted: 8/29/2012 1:31:50 PM

this may seem like a stupid question..but how soon did u start banging him? ie: 2 dates in? 3 dates in?

I agree, that is a stupid question. Makes NO difference when two consenting adults begin having sex. Plenty of relationships begin with first date sex, plenty begin with no sex for extended periods of time. Some last, some do not.

My question is this.... guys!!! Do you relate to this process? Do guys need a commitment from a woman first and need extra time to decide if they want to commit.... or is that a want your cake and eat it too?

I'm not a man, but if a man wanted a commitment from me and didn't offer the same? The only commitment he'd get from me would be me telling him adios.

In a outsides man opinion.... should I cut him some slack.. or tel him we should both date others?

By cutting him slack, you mean you won't see others, but he can. I suppose if that's what you can live with, go ahead. (If he's dating others, why bother with him at all? Doesn't really read like you want that type of arrangement.)

I do not want to force him to take his profile down because that will just leave a window open for deception..... I would like to be on the same page however... we are either BOTH dating or looking or we are not!!!

There's your answer. You are either both exclusive or you aren't. JMO
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 17
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What is a healthy process? To date or not to date others?
Posted: 8/29/2012 3:42:38 PM
You know right about 3 months in a new relationship if the WHOOPEEEEEE!!! of the sex/excitement can last don't you?


. but is it a process for men to take a last check before he pursues something on a more deeper level?...

^^^^^^^^^^^
He is seeing if someones grass is greener/hotter.



You sound like a "will do for now". UNLESS a better offer comes along.
After all it's been 3 months.

You both have profiles so you can't object to it now, can you?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 18
What is a healthy process? To date or not to date others?
Posted: 8/29/2012 4:31:08 PM
I'm a guy. And I like to treat others like I would like to be treated. I would like those others to treat me the same way. Simple. Easy peasy. And I figured that out by the time I got to Grade 1. And yes,I'm serious. If you don't like what he is doing, tell him. If you accept what he is doing, (no matter how you feel) than he'll keep doing it.

This ain't rocket science.

Honest.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
What is a healthy process? To date or not to date others?
Posted: 8/29/2012 5:08:02 PM

Op my advice is this. STOP STALKING HIS POF PROFILE. All it will make you do is over analyze everything, make you clingy and paranoid, and push him away.

My profile is still here. Yes it is marked not looking and hidden but it is here. My boyfriend still has his up too. He still gets the weekly here's your matches emails like I do. I do not know what his profile says right now. I do not know if it is hidden.

But you know what I am not worried about it. I see him on his days off. I am the one sleeping in his bed the weekends he is off and during the week an extra day. I am the one who he calls/texts on his breaks from work. I have met his family... friends.. and etc. He is the one talking plans for the future. (ie concerts, trips etc) So I could care less what his Pof account says.

I agree with this.

When someone tells me to take down my account or hide it or whatever, that's when I know to move on. I don't care to date a guy who is that insecure or sneaky or thinks he knows what I should do with my time. If I wanted to cheat, I'd find a way and be much more cleaver about it then still having a profile up that he could see. Since I don't want to cheat, either I'm trustworthy to someone or I'm not. If he's going to look for trouble and follow my account and tell me what to do, he's not worth it.

This too.
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