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Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 9
Look different in person than photosPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I agree with some of the others. You look really nice in some of your pictures. No need to say your daughter is a gifted photographer. Makes it sound like a good picture was a lucky shot. You obviously do take care of yourself, and this is not meant to be derogatory, but you might want to ditch the pictures with all the grey showing. I am guessing you usually cover it up, so why not show yourself in the best light.
Good luck with your fishing and I am sure you will find someone to make you happy. :)
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 13
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 7:49:51 AM

maybe even another paid for dating site like Match.

The same men are on sites where one pays--the OP should save her money.

OP, I sometimes read profiles where the men say that they look better in person, and maybe they do. I also know that people are a bit delusional and state they look younger, slimmer, etc., in real life and they don't.

First, as someone else said, your weight is not "Average" but "A Few Pounds Extra." For me, this is one of the biggest turn-offs that I see on profiles. I recently lost 15 pounds and changed my status, but I am still iffy about calling myself "Average." People are so gun-shy about pictures on POF, men might think that if you think you are "Average" in your posted pictures, you might be larger on meeting.

Second, if you don't "look" like your pictures, have some more taken. I am NOT photogenic, but I use a webcam and experiment with angles, etc. I can then choose the best of the lot. From experience, I also know that what I wear has a big influence--believe it or not, men pay attention to clothes.

Men have told me that I look better in real life than I do in my pics; I find this amusing because I think I look better in the pictures.

I agree with others you say that you should spiffy up your profile BUT pictures are the first point of entry to your profile. Men will not always read what you write, but they will look at the pictures.

And keep in mind, while you might not see the same woman in the mirror that you see in the pictures, others might. Every picture taken of you is what you looked like at that point in time, eh? So they do represent you.
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 15
view profile
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 8:32:41 AM
Don't be afraid to put BBW or A Few Pounds Extra, because TRUST ME... there are men specifically looking for that. I have been DQ'd (disqualified) because my thighs are not thick enough! Please, but to each his own. Just whatever body type you are, put it. There's someone looking for exactly that.
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 21
view profile
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 12:40:38 PM
Time to be realistic OP.......

Take your profile to the review section and let them help you format one that is more interesting and inviting for those viewing it.

1. You need to find someone to take some flattering pictures that show you the best you can be, even in a normal setting or activity.

2. You are going to scare many off with putting down that you are a student at your age. You should be telling those looking that you are a professional, and self sufficient financially, along with what vocation you are involved in. Explaining your continuing education can be done in the information given section.

3. You need to either put BBW, or say prefer not to say for your weight, because you are more than a few pounds overweight, and many are, just not believing it, or seeing it in the mirror. That honesty will gain you much, and not make those viewing your pictures and profile thinking that you are not being realistic with yourself, and more than likely will not be with other things in your life.

4. I would take your age restrictions down, or put that you want to date someone 30 and older, allowing more within a 10 year span of yours to connect with you.

I hope that helps you, and that you do take your entire profile for a review as you get some new pictures to join your new way of saying who and what you are, and with whom you would like to share that with.

Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 23
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 1:21:53 PM

The OP looks like the rest of us to me, which is average, real and usually different or better in person.

I suggest that you look at the profiles of all the people who have posted on this thread. I don't look like you and you don't look the OP and the OP doesn't look like ravenhair4u.

"Average" is not 20 or more pounds overweight, eh?
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 25
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 4:09:50 PM

I was referring to overall appearance, not body size. I don't see Miss America in this forum thread, guess others see it differently.

I still don't see your point--we don't all look alike. Some posters are better looking than others. ~ Shrug~
Joined: 8/17/2006
Msg: 28
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 6:08:56 PM
As a male i must agree with Fleuron as your pictures are anything but flattering and the company you keep has a lot to be desired
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 30
view profile
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/2/2012 8:03:22 PM
We all are ugly. Most of all moi.

There problem solved.
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 31
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/3/2012 3:52:10 AM

It seems unless one is thin, at least where I am no one wants to meet you anyway.

I have to disagree with this, and I do not think it is geographically based: it is all about presentation, and the first point of "entry" is our images.

I am overweight; I have been overweight during the entire time that I have been on dating sites. After losing 15 pounds, I recently changed my weight designation from "A Few Extra" to "Average," but I am still 10 pounds over and I will probably change it back.

When I was 15 pounds lighter and 15 pounds heavier than what I am at this moment, men always contacted me. It was my pictures that drew them in--sometimes they read what I wrote, and sometimes, they didn't. There are women in this thread who are saying that men are not contacting them because of their weight, but that isn't it: again, it is the presentation.

I won't post a "bad" picture of myself, and that means no candid shots where I am wearing unflattering clothes (i.e. when I just came in from gardening). Of course, I wear a dress and heels to Walmart because I LIKE to look good. There are no other people in my pictures because men are not concerned with my offspring or my friends. I don't have bad hair days but if I did, I would make sure my hair looks good in my pictures: hair is a huge draw for most men.

But my pictures look like me; I know this because of the men who have recognized me in public places from my POF pictures. I thought it was my hair, but even when it is drawn back, they still recognize me.

Obesity cannot be hidden; glamor shots can soften imperfections, but the reality is always apparent on meeting.

Maybe it is time that society teaches people that there is far more to a relationship than body weight, after all as we all get older we don't all retain our highschool shape.

I wouldn't date an obese man, so why should I expect a man to want to date me if I were obese? I wouldn't date a sloppy man, so if I am sloppy, why would I expect a well-dressed man to take notice of me?

Age is no excuse for being obese or not taking care of one's self.

or that women don't like them all while forgetting that they set their sights on someone under 100lbs

I have never met a man who said that he wanted to date a woman under 100 pounds!

And I agree….I don’t see Super Model Du Jour on this thread, either.

I don't see Super Model Du Jour downtown, either.

There are women with "average" looks who are going to attract more men than other women of average looks and even more than pretty women--it's about attitude, energy, confidence, and personality. I might be average, but I am also unique.

But pictures are still the attractant on dating sites.
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 33
view profile
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/3/2012 8:39:24 AM
Photos, as we all know can be misleading. Sometimes one is more photogenic than another. Whether you are stunning, beautiful, average, handsome, or whatever other adjective one can think of, the point is, to make the best of what you have been given!! Sometimes it takes more work for some than others. !
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 35
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/3/2012 1:39:00 PM

“Average” as compared to a super model. I didn’t realize reading comprehension was so challenging.

Who compares herself to a "super" model? That "idealization" of beauty is not attractive to many women and many men. In fact, consider some of the heights and estimated weights considerations of "beautiful" stars:

Adriana Lima: Victoria’s Secret Model
Height 5’10″ – Weight 112 pounds
Height 1.77m – Weight 50.91 kg

Jessica Biel: Actress (started on “7th Heaven”)
Height 5’8″ – Weight 108 pounds
Height 1.72m – Weight 49.09 kg

Kate Beckinsale: Actress (movie “Underworld”)
Height 5’8″ – Weight 115 pounds
Height 1.72m – Weight 52.27 kg

Gabrielle Union: Actress (movie “Bring it On”)
Height 5’8″ – Weight 110 pounds
Height 1.72m – Weight 50.00 kg

Jessica Alba: Actress (movie “Into The Blue”)
Height 5’7″ – Weight 127 pounds
Height 1.70m – Weight 57.73 kg

Megan Fox: Actress (movie “Transformers”)
Height 5’6″ – Weight 114 pounds
Height 1.67m – Weight 51.82 kg

Roselyn Sanchez: Actress (TV show “Without a Trace”)
Height 5’7″ – Weight 130 pounds
Height 1.70m – Weight 59.09 kg

Eva Longoria: Actress (TV show “Desperate Housewives”)
Height 5’2″ – Weight 105 pounds
Height 1.57m – Weight 47.73 kg

Salma Hayek: Actress (movie “Desperado”)
Height 5’2″ – Weight 115 pounds
Height 1.57m – Weight 52.27 kg

Kelly Hu: Actress (movie “Scorpion King”)
Height 5’5″ – Weight 122 pounds
Height 1.65m – Weight 55.45 kg

Or how about this:

For anyone to become a top model they should have the average height of 5 feet 10 inches tall and they should weigh no more than 115 lbs.

Really, 5' 10" and 112-115 pounds? My sister is 5' 10" and weighed 130ish for most of her life. She was skinny, and I mean skinny.

I am 5' 6" and when I weighed 145 pounds, people told that I looked haggard.

But we have gotten WAY off topic, eh?
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 39
view profile
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/4/2012 4:43:26 AM
Hm..nobody mentioned her kids? Especially the 13 years old..I think that is a "problem" for most.
I have a 12 years old, and quite often I received an answer to my email stating that her kids are grown, and she just want someone with older kids, living on their own, etc.
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 40
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/4/2012 7:50:27 AM

Hey just fell into the trap that a super model or beauty is predicated on thin. The following ladies are "Super Models" and range from size 14 - 16: Tara Lynn; Christina Mendez; Anansa Sims (daughter of Beverly Johnson); Natalie Laughlin; Kate Dillon; Fluvia Lucerda; and this other little known former model...Anna Nicole Smith (may she rest in peace). Jumping off topic again, but just wanted to share.

Actually, I am largely ignorant of modern media and a lot of modern culture, so I don't know the names of those models nor do I know anything about them--well, except for Anna Nicole Smith. I went to Google and typed in "average weight of supermodels" and went to the first two hits.

After reading your post, I typed in "large sized supermodels" and was impressed!

And I agreed with your earlier post about being average--if we were all lumped into the same category, even on a dating site thread, then all of us would have the same chances for dates. From what people post in this forum alone, this is clearly not the case.

Raquel Welch once said something to the effect that as she got older, at some point, she had to make the choice between her a$$ and her face.

She chose her face.

Zsa-Zsa Gabor said the same thing--just not in the same words. :)
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 42
view profile
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 9/4/2012 10:11:27 AM
angel I think that your profile looks very interesting and just really needs a little tweeking. I thought your photos were lovely to be honest, very natural and appear to show what you as a person are all about. I just love that in a mans profile, it's what gets me interested. But I am a woman and I know that men and women are totally different.

Yes I can see where others are coming from when they mention changing your photos but I would keep the natural ones like the gardening and the dirty run ones because they say what you are about and that you are the kind of woman to 'give it a go'

Looking at a couple they do scream 'mumsy' so I agree with some others that have said to get a nice photo of how you would look on a date. I guess it is all very well everyone saying you should do this and that, change your hairstyle, put make-up on, flash your cleavage etc but then would the prospective dater meet the real you? Only go down that path if you feel comfortable with it. I know from reading the forums that a lot of ladies don't ever wear any make-up so only do what you feel will come naturally to you.

If at the end of the day it means you don't attract a man on here, I really don't think you are missing out... you may find your soul mate at one of the events you participate in or at your local garden centre!
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 48
view profile
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/3/2012 3:13:13 PM
If you are a few extra pounds or BBW, you can still present yourself with an attractive profile. As we age, we have to work harder to look our best. By that I mean, dressing in clothing that are flattering to our aging figure, styling our hair in a current and becoming hairstyle. We sometimes get stuck and don;t make the effort to make ourselves look our very best. It take time, energy and work.
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 53
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/3/2012 4:45:22 PM

I have been told many times in the past that I look much better in person compared to my photos. What can I do about this?

Just a guess, it gives the impression that when you go meet someone you dress better than in the pictures you have posted in your profile. The good part about that is, you have better chances to make a good first impression. The downside is, of course, you may not get as many "bites" to meet someone.

Following that line of thinking, if a woman claims "a few extra pounds" and in reality, the guy she is meeting has reasonable grounds to feel "a few" was significantly understated then, the good impression is gone. To top that off, it is difficult not to feel deceived in those cases (even if there was no malice in the "few" statement.)

My philosophy is underpromise, overdeliver... following that, put a decent pic of you, understate everything... when the person meets you, you have a much better chance of making a good and lasting first impression. FWIW.

Lastly, I fully agree with Lily_Beyaz above... make some "corrections" to how you present yourself, without "overcorrecting" :-)
Joined: 8/19/2010
Msg: 54
view profile
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/3/2012 4:48:36 PM
What do you want anorexia? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. She is what she is. I'm sure most of the guys don't worry about it nearly this much and if they do it's not that important. I believe in comfort. I don't dress up to go to a store in a dress and heels. Just be yourself and be happy. If it's supposed to happen it will.
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 57
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/4/2012 8:04:16 AM

I believe in comfort. I don't dress up to go to a store in a dress and heels.

Please. Who puts on heels to go to the store? I've stopped in dressed up while in transit.
I'm sick of people who wave the "comfort" banner when, in reality, it's just an excuse for being slovenly.

T shirts and leggings/ sweat pants can actually be purchased in color. They are even available in orange in order to blend in with the trails of cheeto powder many "comfortable" people find smeared across their chest.

Geez. I was in the bank and saw a mature woman who was wearing black leggings and a t-shirt. The leggings had holes in the butt. Maybe they were starting to split at the seams. I hope she had underwear on. I couldn't bear to look any more. I felt sorry for her.

Please OP, take down all but the main pic. Don't add any back unless they look at least as good as that one.
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 61
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/4/2012 4:23:52 PM
The way I see it is only DOGS like BONES, real MEN like MEAT !!! Give it up for the THICK girls !!! Oh, and I look EXACTLY like my photographs. ~Smirks~
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 63
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/4/2012 5:32:37 PM
viperess: the saying only dogs like bones is beyond stupid. sure, some men may like a meatier, or curvy gal, but there is a good reason most models are thin and fit. men who are attracted to thinner women arent any less of a man. sigh.

OP: i agree with abelian on this one. most women doctor up their pics on this site so much that when you do meet her in real life, you have no idea what shes really going to look like. with the galmour shots, up in the air cleavage shots, 4 year old pics, and obvious photoshopped pics, its a breath of fresh air to meet a girl who looks better in person.

change your body type on here. im sorry, but youre not average. all my single friends on here will quickly point out a bigger girl who says theyre average or athletic. its a misrepresentation. if a girl will lie about her body type on here, what else is a lie on their profile?

id say to take a pic with you all dressed up and add that to your line up. that way people can see that side of you as well.

one last thing, how important are looks to you? do you really want to put up only great pics just to have some guy to judge you based on those alone? again, i agree with abelian when he said that you should attract people with substance, not looks. that way, its YOU they like, not your cleavage.

best of luck to you!
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 65
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/4/2012 8:35:13 PM
Mr. "Wrong" it's no WONDER why you have that TAG and I'm sure it's HIGHLY appropriate. I have deduced that MALES such as yourself like NOTHING more than hearing yourselves BLITHER on about INHERENT NONSENSE. You are the POSTER CHILD for the term "You can't fix STUPID". Having no photograph speaks VOLUMES also, as I'm SURE you look like a complete A$$ CLOWN. Do the world a favor and STOP BREATHING. ~Shakes head and LAUGHS~
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 67
view profile
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/5/2012 12:14:04 AM
Only one woman that I ever met from a dating site looked exactly like she did in her photos. It was almost eery the resemblance to her picture. lol

The biggest shocker to me when I meet women are the short ones. You never realize just how short 5' - 5'1 is until you see them in person. Their features look so different in their pictures because they tend to be closeups or from an angle that makes them look taller. So, if a woman puts >5' on her profile, be prepared that she will be tiny if you're at least average height, no matter how she appears in her pics.

The thing about pictures is that it's you, but it's not really you. It's a moment in time taken from a certain perspective, but it never gets your whole three-dimensionality that can only be seen and appreciated (or not) in person.
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 70
view profile
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/6/2012 3:16:40 PM
well most people only look on the outside when the real beauty is on the inside , so as far as i see it you should not worrier and keep on trying if you would like to chat feel free to rite me
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 72
Look different in person than photos
Posted: 11/6/2012 3:34:26 PM

well most people only look on the outside when the real beauty is on the inside , so as far as i see it you should not worrier and keep on trying if you would like to chat feel free to rite me


Forget inner beauty- our first impressions of others are still based on appearance
Bad news for ugly ducklings and the less fashion savvy- it seems appearance is as important to us as they ever were, according to an online survey.

Three fifths of people form their opinion of someone within just five seconds of meeting them and more than a third said appearance was everything when forming first impression.

A quarter of (rather judgmental) respondents admitted that they always evaluate someone by their appearance alone.
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