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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.      Home login  
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 Onyxbutterflies90
Joined: 10/14/2014
Msg: 76
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Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.Page 4 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

A valid question to ask: Is turning a person down based on not being tall enough a form of discrimination?


This is a joke right? We all discriminate when it comes to who we're interested in dating. You likely discriminate against men or 90 year olds.

It's not up to you or anyone to decide what gets another person hard or wet. They're the one who has to see their "O" face, so it's frankly none of your business.

Basing a negative decision on a sole trait is called a DEAL BREAKER. She has a great personality, likes the same things I like, makes me laugh and is 98 years old. I think we just encountered a deal breaker people.

I swear, some of you take the decisions of other people way too seriously. I know empathy isn't learned, but you can give it a try sometime. "She is negating based on height...hmm, I wonder if there is a trait I negate with...like...GENDER." Let me guess, you're presumptuous enough to believe YOU should decide what's important to OTHER people. "You can choose based on gender, but not height. Height doesn't make sense." Neither does liking big boobs, but there are plenty of guys that do. Attraction doesn't make much sense, so stop trying to make it fair. It isn't fair. People aren't charities.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 77
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 12:25:24 PM
If a man feels “discriminated” against by a woman who prefers taller men, why would he want to date her? “You’re oppressing me! Let’s go for a coffee you have to pay for.”

Well I guess one recourse would be to sue. Of course you’d have to prove intent and damages…and that she rejected you because of your lack of height and no other reason, like you don’t know what discrimination means and you think you can force women who aren’t attracted to you to date you.

I don’t get the desperation that makes guys think forcing women to date them is desirable. It’s almost as if some guys think women aren’t even human and exist without thoughts or feelings as playthings for men who feel entitled to use them.


There are women who will date shorter guys, most of them aren't on dating sites. Many women on dating sites care greatly about height. Coincidence?


Good luck trying to shame women into pity dating you by making self-serving statements you can’t prove.

Anyway if you know where women who will date shorter guys are why don’t you go get one?
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 78
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 12:58:49 PM
Well I think it's a double standard that if a woman writes that she prefers tall men in her profile that's seen as okay but if a man writes that he prefers busty women then he will probably be seen as a pig. That's why it's better for men not to mention their physical preferences in their profile, but just not respond to the women they're not attracted to.
 Justmytypewriter
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 79
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Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 1:30:34 PM
Kissfromarose77 wrote:

Well I think it's a double standard that if a woman writes that she prefers tall men in her profile that's seen as okay but if a man writes that he prefers busty women then he will probably be seen as a pig.

Why would anyone see a man who is honest about his preferences "as a pig" (granted that those preferences stay within what's legal)? He likes 'em well-endowed and he isn't afraid to say so? More power to him!

Sweet_Danimal wrote:

Whether or not it's 'enough' to cry foul is certainly a point of debate - it's a statistic nobody can really control. What people need to realize is how much of an audience gets lost from that one simple choice.

The point that you are missing is that physical attraction is not a matter of choice, but a matter of instinct. So excluding "audience" members who wouldn't get past that instinct anyway isn't a miss at all. Quite the opposite, actually. And being clear about such instinctual deal-breakers should be appreciated, as it saves both those who are not part of the targeted "audience" and those who are running the "show" a lot of time. It's a courtesy, really, to be frank and honest about physical preferences.

rsoxfancg wrote:

Judging on height is VERY different than judging on things like tattoos, interests, weight (in most cases), etc in that you can't really control how tall you are. All of those other things I mentioned are things you CAN control.
Actually, no, it is not different at all. It is the exact same thing, and here is why: Attraction is solely in the instinct of the beholder. And the beholder can't do anything about the other person's tattoos or piercings or weight or voice or 1970s mustache. Nothing. Could the other person do something about it? Likely, but why would they? They probably like themselves just as they are. And I would be weary, too, of someone who remodels himself after what he perceives to be attractive to others. That sounds insecure and weather vane-ish, and that's not attractive either.

Therefore an argument can be made that it is discrimination (albeit not even close to being on the same level as racial discrimination).

Again, individual physical attraction is nowhere near the same as societal discrimination.

Besides, after taking a peek at your profile, I noticed that you discriminate (ha!) against women my age, which, of course, is horribly "unfair". How dare a man I am not the least bit interested in have personal preferences that kick me out of his dating prospect pool?? I tried very hard to work myself into an artificial outrage, but I couldn't muster the energy, even though age is hardly an instinctive selection. What makes a 44 year old person so much more attractive than a 45 year old person to your primal instinct-driven little friend? Exactly, nothing. Age is indeed an intellectual selection - other than height. And yet I wouldn't actually call it "discrimination" but still stick with "preference," even though this specific preference is totally random.


BTW - guys who wont date taller women are just as bad.

They are just as courteous and just as honest. There, I fixed it for you. ;-)


 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 80
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Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 1:51:51 PM
“There are women who will date shorter guys, most of them aren't on dating sites. Many women on dating sites care greatly about height. Coincidence?”

This is because there are so many long term pairings of short women with tall men (both from IRL and OLD). Therefore, dating website memberships disproportionately contain short men and tall women, the leftovers of the short women/tall men pairings. With tall women making up a disproportionate number of women on OLD, it is not surprising that women on OLD in general are disproportionately concerned with male height. (Which doesn’t mean there also aren’t plenty of short women who are concerned with male height. I’m just telling you why the attitude seems more pervasive in OLD than IRL. Which is also not the same thing as the “perfect person phenomena” that explains why women who normally aren’t overwhelmingly concerned with male height IRL still tend to choose high height minimums in OLD.)

I agree with the others on the “discrimination” cries: everyone “discriminates” when they date or else everyone would be willing to date everyone. I’m fine with women “discriminating” against me for my shortcomings. It’s not like I’m going to date a woman who has fatcomings. I don’t think it matters at all that height is something that can’t be controlled or easily changed – if someone’s not attracted to something, they’re not attracted to it. But I don’t think attraction is very black-and-white. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen a situation in which a person previously declared “I’m not attracted to this” and then ended up in a couple with someone that had “this.” *I* have been in said-couple myself several times. I’m 99% sure I don’t find obese women attractive, but who knows what exception might creep up? It would almost certainly have to happen in a real life situation, though – you’re probably not going to make an exception from reading a profile.

Nevertheless, I still think it’s not the wisest of ideas to declare, directly or indirectly, that you will not date “this” on your profile when you know you’ve on rare occasion been attracted to “this” before -- it is only "helpful" to know this when it is an absolute. The only woman I've met from Match in my long history on that site had a minimum height listing 3 inches taller than me even she was an inch shorter than me, so under normal circumstances, I would assume that meant "dealbreaker" and not messaged her, but we had a very rare and strange coincidence so I messaged her about that without intending to actually continue the conversation beyond that point and she ended up acting like her minimum height listing wasn't even there and like I said, we eventually did meet. So if you're going to be declaring your non-attraction to something, you better really mean it or you could miss out on someone who you actually could be attracted to despite them not meeting a standard you normally prefer.

On a related note:

“I'm 5'10 and I see guys shorter than me with beautiful women all the time.”

All kinds of things could be involved with these “exceptions to the rule”: ethnicity (Asian and Hispanic women are more inclined to find shorter men [their own ethnicity] attractive), money, fame, power, high school sweethearts, woman with a short father, etc.

“Many men vastly prefer women who are significantly shorter than they are.”

Yeah, I don’t know any men that’s true of. I don’t think I’ve ever met a guy who had any significant concern about women’s height whatsoever (disclaimer: I have almost no short male friends), and it’s very rarely mentioned as a concern in these forums or anywhere online. Weight, bust size, ethnicity, age, intelligence, sure, but height? That’s 99% a female concern. The only time women’s height ever sorta seems to come up is when a man is drooling over a tall woman’s long bare legs.

“Well I think it's a double standard that if a woman writes that she prefers tall men in her profile that's seen as okay but if a man writes that he prefers busty women then he will probably be seen as a pig.”

In some other thread I repeated the argument between my best friend (a short busty woman) and I over this very topic. She said the difference is that breasts on a woman is a secondary sexual characteristic which makes it crass to mention such a thing in a profile whereas height is not a sexual characteristic so it’s okay to mention. I said to her that height is too a secondary sexual characteristic because some women won’t have sex with a man unless he’s tall enough for her to be attracted to him. After laughing about that, she just kind of finished the debate off with a “Life isn’t fair” statement about how women can just get away with things men can’t – but that it was men’s own fault for allowing women to get away with them.

And I must ask you, typewriter: how many men's profiles with sexual material in them have you communicated with? Because that's exactly how most women will view a man's request for a busty woman: sexual.
 Onyxbutterflies90
Joined: 10/14/2014
Msg: 81
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Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 2:05:26 PM

Well I think it's a double standard that if a woman writes that she prefers tall men in her profile that's seen as okay but if a man writes that he prefers busty women then he will probably be seen as a pig. That's why it's better for men not to mention their physical preferences in their profile, but just not respond to the women they're not attracted to.


Men AND women get nasty messages from people who aren't too happy they've been eliminated by something they can't help. I was foolish enough to try being upfront on my profile when I was dating and said I didn't find dark-skinned men attractive. I got rape threats, death threats and a slew of men commenting on my body and how awful it was. I happily removed my upfront profile and replaced it with one that worked for me rather than against me. There's a consequence for any profile method you choose, so you might as well choose the consequence that you prefer. Upfront and receive bitter messages, or polite and more sorting work to do.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 82
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Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 2:58:02 PM
"Men AND women get nasty messages from people who aren't too happy they've been eliminated by something they can't help."

The difference is that men won't get messages from women who AREN'T eliminated by something they can't help. As in, if I had a profile that said "Busty women only please," how many busty women do you think are going to send me a message? Essentially none -- because they've been sexually objectified. So in addition to possibly (though highly unlikely) getting hate mail from flat-chested women, the guy also won't be getting messages from the very women he was seeking.

But if women put "tall men only" in their profiles, most tall men will be more than happy to send her a message (along with irate short men) -- tall men don't see that as discriminatory or objectifying them. Women definitely have the advantage in this situation. They can't get away with writing everything about their physical preferences but they can get away with far more than men can. Men have to dance around the weight issue ("I'm looking for an athletic woman") in order not to offend the types of women they are looking for in addition to the ones that they aren't looking for while women can just plain say "No fatties" and although they will get some hate mail, many non-fatties will not think twice about emailing them.

Ethnicity is a whole other ball game -- for a lot of obvious reasons. That's a hot potato that's equally problematic for both genders. Which is why the best OLD for such things are those like eH, which only matches you up with people that include you in their preferences and you don't get to see most of their preferences, and Match, which has forced preference listings for everyone through non-text means so it seems far less offensive than someone specifically typing it out as they have to on POF. You get what you pay for with free OLD.
 rsoxfancg
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 83
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 2:58:35 PM
Yes I do notice that not as many tall women will date guys shorter than they are. You are right in that it may just be a supply and demand kind of thing

But nonetheless its clear that women who arent so stuck on height usually find someone. The ones that are stuck on height seem to end up on here, and jump down your throat when you point that out
 rsoxfancg
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 84
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 3:07:03 PM
And yes I do agree that there is a double standard here when a woman says she prefers a tall man its "okay", but if a guy says "busty woman only" or "no fat girls", he is a pig. It is a terrible thing to do in both cases but the fact of the matter is some women should be called out on this crap.
 Onyxbutterflies90
Joined: 10/14/2014
Msg: 85
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Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 3:29:26 PM

The difference is that men won't get messages from women who AREN'T eliminated by something they can't help...

But if women put "tall men only" in their profiles, most tall men will be more than happy to send her a message (along with irate short men) -- tall men don't see that as discriminatory or objectifying them. Women definitely have the advantage in this situation.


Only men can give that advantage, so its not something women need to change. Men can change it if they wish. Will they? Probably not, but that's hardly the fault of women.


It is a terrible thing to do in both cases but the fact of the matter is some women should be called out on this crap.


Maybe you should talk to your fellow man then...

Power and advantage only exist when its GIVEN by others. Complaining or bemoaning the use of advantage that only exists when others allow it is silly. Who and what are you actually upset about? The person who uses the advantage others give them, or the person giving the advantage? Either way, it has nothing to do with you if you don't want it to. A man salivating over light-skinned women has no bearing on my life unless I want it to. In the end, you're just upset because the world isn't fair.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 86
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 3:33:02 PM
I guess it's because tall men don't mind being objectified for their height - they'll continue to contact women.
 Nj2ut
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 87
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 4:10:10 PM

Men AND women get nasty messages from people who aren't too happy they've been eliminated by something they can't help. I was foolish enough to try being upfront on my profile when I was dating and said I didn't find dark-skinned men attractive. I got rape threats, death threats and a slew of men commenting on my body and how awful it was. I happily removed my upfront profile and replaced it with one that worked for me rather than against me. There's a consequence for any profile method you choose, so you might as well choose the consequence that you prefer. Upfront and receive bitter messages, or polite and more sorting work to do.


I learned a long time ago just to leave off preferences ...especially race. Part of me wants to include my preference for dating college educated women but I already know where that is going to go.

Once upon time I got tired of getting the "Hi","hey there" emails. So i used the need to have 250 characters to send a message feature in hopes it would eliminate the problem ..nope. One woman uses enough charterers i.e. @#$% to get passed the 250 character requirement followed by a message questioning who I thought I was for requiring someone to type 250 characters to send a message and then proceeds to insult my appearance.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 88
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/20/2015 10:40:38 PM
Sweet_Danimal wrote:

Whether or not it's 'enough' to cry foul is certainly a point of debate - it's a statistic nobody can really control. What people need to realize is how much of an audience gets lost from that one simple choice.


Justmytypewriter replied:

The point that you are missing is that physical attraction is not a matter of choice, but a matter of instinct. So excluding "audience" members who wouldn't get past that instinct anyway isn't a miss at all. Quite the opposite, actually. And being clear about such instinctual deal-breakers should be appreciated, as it saves both those who are not part of the targeted "audience" and those who are running the "show" a lot of time. It's a courtesy, really, to be frank and honest about physical preferences.


It's not courteous to be specifically honest or frank about what you find physically attractive. It's online suicide. Divulging ANY little detail that you may think is sexy or hot or whatever means thousands of potentials will over-react to that choice and assume it's an absolute every-time deal breaker. For the less than magnificent people in here that barely get four messages a month, why in the hell would anyone be that stupid to limit themselves even more based on the superficial?
We all can describe our perfect match down to exquisite small details, but only a complete moron is going to advertise and stick to those exact details - because chances are 99 out of 100 people that fit that physical description also come with a brain, and that brain doesn't give a damn what you may like - they care about what THEY like.

Physical attraction may be motivated by instinct, but we ARE human beings and have the brain capacity to look beyond that. If attraction was totally instinctual, I'd have a few dozen kids by now because instinct ALSO compels me to screw my brains out to produce offspring and really doesn't give a damn who it may be with.

I've always preferred blondes- seen them as 'more' attractive in a crowded room. That may be 'instinct' - but how many relationships have I had with a blonde beyond a first date? Absolutely none. Hasn't happened. I don't think it will ever happen because any and all of the women who have shown a dating interest in here or otherwise have all been non-blondes. The reasoning part of my brain allows me to tell my instinct to go f*k itself, I'm dating that brunette. THAT is a choice.

Women may feel instinctively safer or more feminine with a larger or taller guy - but the choice to only search or date guys 5' 10" or taller is a CHOICE. It's a line in the sand that they have drawn. It doesn't mean it's an absolute deal-breaker, of course - but the computer and it's search preferences won't know that - they just do what they've been told to do.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 89
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Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/21/2015 8:05:52 PM
I always believed in positivity as opposed to negativity, instead of stating what you don't want, why not state what you are looking for? There's a difference between "no short men please" or "no men under 6'1" should apply" vs "I prefer men who are tall. I like a man who's over 6'" the first one is making it seem like there's something wrong with short men. It's like saying "I don't find black men attractive" as opposed to "I'm attracted to this race..." because my initial reaction would be "What you think I'm ugly because I'm black?"


Physical attraction may be motivated by instinct, but we ARE human beings and have the brain capacity to look beyond that. If attraction was totally instinctual, I'd have a few dozen kids by now because instinct ALSO compels me to screw my brains out to produce offspring and really doesn't give a damn who it may be with.

I've always preferred blondes- seen them as 'more' attractive in a crowded room. That may be 'instinct' - but how many relationships have I had with a blonde beyond a first date? Absolutely none. Hasn't happened. I don't think it will ever happen because any and all of the women who have shown a dating interest in here or otherwise have all been non-blondes. The reasoning part of my brain allows me to tell my instinct to go f*k itself, I'm dating that brunette. THAT is a choice.

Women may feel instinctively safer or more feminine with a larger or taller guy - but the choice to only search or date guys 5' 10" or taller is a CHOICE. It's a line in the sand that they have drawn. It doesn't mean it's an absolute deal-breaker, of course - but the computer and it's search preferences won't know that - they just do what they've been told to do.


I agree, I prefer brunettes over blondes but I've dated blondes and redheads before, hot is hot.
 Hoptimum
Joined: 3/11/2014
Msg: 90
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/29/2015 9:50:56 PM
Your listed height should always be your barefooted height. I'm 6' barefoot (rounded down) and closer to 6'3" wearing my boots and gel cushion insert. The girls seem to love it when I show up taller than they expected and none have complained with the boots off.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 91
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/29/2015 11:33:59 PM
As far as the original question, if I found out a guy had lifts in his shoes I would encourage him to remove them. I like short men.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 92
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 4/30/2015 12:04:58 AM
It's not courteous to be specifically honest or frank about what you find physically attractive. It's online suicide. Divulging ANY little detail that you may think is sexy or hot or whatever means thousands of potentials will over-react to that choice and assume it's an absolute every-time deal breaker.
-----------------------------
Well, the people who "over-react" and think that way are just stupid. Most things are negotiable. If you don't meet one or two or even ten of those little details, ask anyway and you might be surprised. The worst that can happen is that you are no better off than if you didn't spend 1 minute sending a message.

-----------------------------
For the less than magnificent people in here that barely get four messages a month, why in the hell would anyone be that stupid to limit themselves even more based on the superficial?
------------------------------
Exactly what preference would not be considered superficial? Whatever a person doesn't have that gets in his or her way of what he or she wants is what that person calls superficial.

--------------------------------

Women may feel instinctively safer or more feminine with a larger or taller guy - but the choice to only search or date guys 5' 10" or taller is a CHOICE. It's a line in the sand that they have drawn. It doesn't mean it's an absolute deal-breaker, of course - but the computer and it's search preferences won't know that - they just do what they've been told to do.
--------------------------------

Well, that is not bad for guys. Guys make the initial contact most of the time, so whether or not I turned up in some woman's search (although okc doesn't search on height, I don't think), didn't make one bit of difference. Since women don't make initial contact all that often, a woman who didn't find me on a search made zero difference. Window shoppers are irrelevant. It was nice to have a woman make the initial contact every now and then, but in the big picture, it made zero difference because I didn't rely on being contacted to get a date. If you are only getting four replies per month, you need to take a serious look at the messages you send. I could do a lot better than that with no photo and an abrasive profile designed to be off putting. What you write and how you say something make a great deal of difference, especially to more intelligent women who can pick up on subtle humor and appreciate intelligence. Guys never seem to believe this, though.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 93
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Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 5/3/2015 1:06:11 AM
I was surprised how dramatically different some women look in stilettos. I saw some ring card girls at a local MMA event and they looked so much different without the stilettos on.

I've seen a few profiles which require a man of a certain height because they wear 5" heels. My footwear makes me an inch taller. Does it really matter?

Just click on the next profile.
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 94
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Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 5/3/2015 6:58:05 PM

What's the point? Be honest and find a woman who doesn't mind that height.


How do you propose that he identify such a woman? It seems that looking at the woman's own height is of no help; with women who are 5'5" 'preferring' the same tall guys as women who are 5'10" and taller.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 95
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 5/4/2015 3:41:48 AM

But nonetheless its clear that women who arent so stuck on height usually find someone. The ones that are stuck on height seem to end up on here, and jump down your throat when you point that out


i thought people come to POF to find somebody to date?


And yes I do agree that there is a double standard here when a woman says she prefers a tall man its "okay", but if a guy says "busty woman only" or "no fat girls", he is a pig. It is a terrible thing to do in both cases but the fact of the matter is some women should be called out on this crap.


Preferring a taller man or preferring a slender woman are just preferences. It's the way in which it's written that creates the problems.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 96
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 5/4/2015 2:20:10 PM

Preferring a taller man or preferring a slender woman are just preferences. It's the way in which it's written that creates the problems.

I think it's how people have a limited perception of the world colored by their own experiences. The whole concept of what is 'Normal' is covered rather extensively in another thread, so I won't go into it here - I'll just say a lot of our 'preferences' end up reducing the number of possibilities by severe amounts with several people completely unaware it is happening.

It's no different than raising the stake in a gambling game - people are trying for a better "payoff", but your chances of losing are much, much greater. Some people really get twisted up by that idea, and end up getting suckered into fishing for 'guarantees' when there really isn't any. Getting duped into believing an online lie happens in all sorts of ways, not just via the numbers.
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 97
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Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 5/4/2015 9:49:55 PM

Also, some taller men actually prefer average height women to tall women.


It's simpler than that, actually. Men, overwhelmingly, don't care about a woman's height.
e.g.
If woman A is an 8 and is 5'10" and woman B is a 7 and 5'3" , woman A is chosen.
If woman A is a 7 and is 5'10" and woman B is an 8 and 5'3" , woman B is chosen.

But women's simple 'preference' for tall men, effectively, becomes a requirement when there is an abundance of men. And, due to the sharply disproportionate ratio of men to women on online dating sites, there is the appearance of great abundance.

If an attractive women, online, gets hundreds of emails over some period of time, deleting all of the messages from all men under 5'10" still leaves more messages than she is going to actually read. The same goes for any other quantifiable preference. The result is that a simple preference effectively removes nearly all of the less preferred individuals from the pool. As long as the male to female ratios online remain skewed, this is almost unavoidable.

It also means that the pool of women available to the shorter guys is limited, mostly, by the attractiveness of said women; whatever their height.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 98
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 5/5/2015 7:04:07 AM

I'm 5'10 and I see guys shorter than me with beautiful women all the time. I wasn't even aware of the claim that the majority of women prefer tall men until I came to this site.


Offline, many women are more likely to overlook height because they get to know him over time. Or unless a woman is fairly tall herself, she may not notice that a man is 1-2 inches under some arbitrary height requirement. Online, people often look at your pictures and "stats" first. Then the rest of the profile if they are interested.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 99
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 5/5/2015 7:12:07 AM

I was foolish enough to try being upfront on my profile when I was dating and said I didn't find dark-skinned men attractive. I got rape threats, death threats and a slew of men commenting on my body and how awful it was. I happily removed my upfront profile and replaced it with one that worked for me rather than against me. There's a consequence for any profile method you choose, so you might as well choose the consequence that you prefer. Upfront and receive bitter messages, or polite and more sorting work to do.


Sometimes it.s how a requirement is written on the profile that makes a difference. I think there is a difference between stating "I am attracted to white men, thin women, tall men etc" vs "Do not contact me if you are black, overweight, under 6 ft tall etc". The latter will produce more rude emails. Plus it can be a turn off to some people that actually match your requirements.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 100
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 5/5/2015 7:56:46 AM
The person who started this thread wanted to know if wearing lifts to get dates was ok. It's lying to get a date and more than anything you'd be showing yourself as untrustworthy when she realises. Honesty is an even bigger preference for the majority of women than height
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Oh puleeeze... If you want to pedantic, the same logic says that every woman who dyes her hair is a liar unless she puts that in her profile. It means that every woman who wears make up is a liar. It means every woman who wears colored contacts is a liar. It means every woman with a boob job and/or a flattering bra is a liar. It means every woman who wears spanx anything is a liar. The list could go on and on. Everybody lies about something and if you can't figure out what really matters when determining who you can trust for what does matter, you deserve what you end up with.
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