Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 126
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
PoF threads twist and turn with discussion, the better threads do anyway…

I contributed to this thread for the discussion, like every other thread. No offense to this or any other OP, but I don’t take PoF forum threads all that seriously…or necessarily believe the situations are even true. The OP as presented read as sort of over the top to me, I didn’t think that anything posted on here would mortally wound anyone.

I don’t see how anybody who contributed to the beginning of this thread with his/her opinions about authenticating an engagement ring (which was the point of the OP) or stating that a big gawdy ring isn’t required for them is so horrible. That’s how the thread discussion flowed.

Also I don’t see how judging people for judging others is so very virtuous.

The players (if they exist) in this saga are completely oblivious to this thread, I’m sure. If by some freak occurrence anyone is immobile with agony over it somewhere, they are beyond the hope of anything that could possibly be posted here, anyway.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 127
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 8:04:44 PM

Now, I also have to ask why sooo many men are just as happy to condone the deception done by the male in this little story too? Do you think that it is OK to lie or be deceptive rather than tell the truth? I guess being a spineless, weak liar is something you aspire to as well?


What deception? Show me where she said that he told her it was a diamond. Show us where she knows 100% that he wasn't serious about getting engaged.

From what we know about the story, there is NO reason to think there was any deception at all. You're just adding this stuff in.

All we know from the story is she got a ring, and had a huge change in mood when the question on if it was real or fake came up. That's it. We don't know the actual details of what went on between her and the boyfriend. Stop making assumptions.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 128
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 8:34:42 PM
Rockstar..

the last sentence of the OP states, it's a fake.

If a man presents a women with a ring and leads her to believe it's a diamond it's a lie. If you can't afford a diamond do something else, or discuss it and do it together. You can still surprise her with timing method or the actual ring. How upset will she be when she gets it appraised (as any smart person would do with an expensive ring), and finds out it's fake?

No we don't know the actual details. but the question as then raised later as to what you would do if it was a fake or how you would feel. So the answers are relevant.
 moutainbreeze
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 129
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 11:18:52 PM
If a man bought me a $100, 000 ring, I'd hand it back to him and leave, for good. That's absurd. No I am not kidding.

What can you do with such a thing but worry about a prong breaking and it getting lost. I mean seriously, I'd rather have $100,000 to build a school in Costa Rica, or $100,000 in investment capital to start a research center for brain injury rehab, or $100,000 to build a massive greenhouse in some remote town in Alaska and provide fresh veggies year round at a decent price, or best yet I would take it and purchase a hyperbaric chamber and enough Chromium Picolinate to help the Lakota Nation to be rid of their diabetes problem and stop losing their limbs and loved ones to that freakin disease.

Anyone standing around a water cooler bragging up a ring of any size, however is a shallow attention who.re. Also, given that diamond likely came from the violent murder of an entire village, enslaved children forced to labor all day rather than being educated or the rape and hacking mutilation of entire families.. I think I would prefer something less gaudy myself. Serves her right that it's fake. Why do men stay with women like that?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 130
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 7:38:05 AM
When I proposed to my ex, I did something practical and logical which would be a deal breaker for almost all women. I proposed to her without a ring. (I would bet women are now gasping and in total shock and attacking their screens). I told her I don't anything about about rings, so I said we can go ring shopping the next day and let her pick out a ring that she wants instead of me taking a wild guess at what she wants and guessing what finger size she has. That's what we did and it worked out (the ring part). What I would find embarrassing is picking a ring she isn't thrilled with and is too small to put on her finger. But a lot of women would break up with a guy if the guy proposed without handing her a diamond ring-when my ex told her female friends of how I proposed and the ring situation, her friends all said there would be no engagement and wedding if they didn't get a diamond ring at the same time as the proposal.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 131
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 8:26:31 AM
I don't know how I would feel with or without a ring, I think it depends more on the relationship itself. I was proposed to a few times, all of them without rings. I didn't say no because of the lack of a ring. I said no for other reasons. Actually the lack of a ring didn't even cross my mind during the proposal. Other more pressing things did.

Some women will be appalled at the idea. Others just say what they think others expect them to say.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 132
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 10:39:55 AM

the last sentence of the OP states, it's a fake.

If a man presents a women with a ring and leads her to believe it's a diamond it's a lie. If you can't afford a diamond do something else, or discuss it and do it together. You can still surprise her with timing method or the actual ring. How upset will she be when she gets it appraised (as any smart person would do with an expensive ring), and finds out it's fake?


But where does it say that he told her the ring was real? You're adding a detail that doesn't exist into the story to fit the, overly common on these forums, "the guy's a jerk" argument.

Do you ever think that maybe he just didn't tell her because IT DOESN'T MATTER???!!!!?!?!?!?! It shouldn't matter if it's a real diamond or not in the ring, you should like the ring for what it symbolizes, not what it's worth.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 133
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 10:54:47 AM
but see.. allowing someone to believe something is true, when you know it is not, is a lie. If it didn't matter then the guy would say I wish I could get you a diamond because you are worth that and so much more or something else that illustrates the meaning behind what he's doing or the reason he went with the gem he went with or something along those lines. I didn't say the guys a jerk. I said to mislead someone, even if you do so by letting them believe something is true when it is not, is a lie. If you propose to me and the ring looks like a diamond, I will think it's a diamond, unless we have talked about it before and you told me you can't afford one or I told you I wanted something different. If you allow me to think it's a diamond it's a lie. I will get it appraised, because the insurance will require it in order to cover it, I will be upset if I find out from a jeweler that it is fake.

I never said what i personally would want in a ring. Actually I believe I said that whatever it is should mean something to the couple. But a lie, is a lie, is a lie.

Of course we don't have the detail of if she knew or not ahead of time. But that wasn't the question asked. The question was would have you it checked to see if it was a fake. No I wouldn't, but i'd have it appraised to add it to the insurance policy at which time I'd find out it was a fake and be upset that he lied. There are plenty of other ways to propose and plenty of rings, other then diamonds, you can give. If a guy was to propose to me, he's know exactly what I'd like best and I'd hope that's what he'd do.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 134
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 11:02:11 AM

When I proposed to my ex, I did something practical and logical which would be a deal breaker for almost all women. I proposed to her without a ring. (I would bet women are now gasping and in total shock and attacking their screens).


Oh how stupid, who cares. Most couples actually discuss marriage before that moment…it’s not like some chick flick where he’s suddenly on his knee in public and it’s supposedly a big surprise for her out the blue.

You’ve been watching too many of them, I think.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 135
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 11:25:01 AM
Who said he let her believe it was real? Again, you're adding your own details to the story. He gave her a ring, that's all. There was no mention of her wanting a diamond, there was no mention of him saying it was a diamond. She was complaining about not being married and getting older, so they got engaged. That's all that's told to us in the story, anything else, you're adding yourself.

Also, when a guy buys you earrings or a ring, do you want him to hand it to you and say "they're not real diamonds", or... nevermind, just remembered the whole car thing...
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 136
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 11:51:43 AM
Nope.. but if he gave me earrings that looked like diamonds.. I'd probably ask if they are. I wouldn't want to wear real diamonds to the beach or hiking up the mountain would i?

*sigh* ok. he did or did not tell her anything about the ring. he did or did not let her believe it's a diamond. He did or did not buy her what she wanted.

the story reads like the women thought it was a real diamond.

I simply stated that it's a lie to let someone believe something is true, that is not true. what is hard to grasp about that? If something is presented as being on thing and it is another, that is a lie. Regardless of what happened in the OP post.

get it yet?
 sweetness-one
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 137
view profile
History
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 5:04:14 PM

Who said he let her believe it was real?


Well, if he didn't, then why would she go to the jeweller to check to see if it was or wasn't?

You can't have it both ways in your argument, after all. If he told her the truth, that it wasn't real, then she wouldn't have checked in the first place, she'd have known it was fake. Ergo...the assumption (and I don't think it'd be that far off-the-mark in making such an assumption) was that the stone was real.

Or if I told a man I was buying him a...I don't know, let's say drill, for a present. Then presented him with said drill, and it was Fisher Price rather than Craftsman (*insert good tool brand here*). Using your logic, you'd have to agree that he would be equally as pleased, no?

The man in question in this thread lied. I find it so amusing (and enlightening) that so many apparently see a lie by omission as being the same as a non-lie. That, to me, speaks volumes.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 138
view profile
History
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/1/2012 8:21:25 AM
Who said he let her believe it was real?
Well, if he didn't, then why would she go to the jeweller to check to see if it was or wasn't?
I think I can help with im_a_rockstar's misinterpretation.

While it is understood in most circles that an engagement ring is to contain genuine stones (i.e. not imitation of the stones they're meant to portray), it's obvious that in im_a_rockstar's world, substituting genuine stones with cheap imitations is de rigueur.
 stayinalivefl
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 139
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/1/2012 10:07:15 AM
It's a good way on his part to check on her gold diggerness,lol.
I think rings should be upgraded as time goes on. The wedding industry like veterinarians prey on emotions.
 arghhhh1234
Joined: 11/26/2010
Msg: 140
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/13/2012 6:19:23 PM
Lol...sorry the situation is funny
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 5/27/2012
Msg: 141
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/13/2012 6:28:43 PM
The fact is, he bought a fake ring, and made it seem like it was real. Thats kinda fishy in the first place. Doesn't make her a gold digger.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 142
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/13/2012 9:15:41 PM
Well, if he didn't, then why would she go to the jeweller to check to see if it was or wasn't?


SHE DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was only after someone questioned it. Until that point, we don't know what happened between her and the guy.


While it is understood in most circles that an engagement ring is to contain genuine stones (i.e. not imitation of the stones they're meant to portray), it's obvious that in im_a_rockstar's world, substituting genuine stones with cheap imitations is de rigueur.

http://www.ziamond.com/matchingsets.html

Just because it's not a real diamond, it doesn't mean it's cheap. How do you know the ring in the OP isn't from that set of 2 rings for $4,000? http://www.ziamond.com/trsc.html

A high karat cubic zirconia is NOT a cheap gem. You girls really need to get this idea out of your heads. And REAL diamonds aren't realistic. If some of the rings on that page I linked you were real, you'd be paying over $10k for them. They're considered a luxury and a sign of wealth for a reason.

And I should point out, that on that site, there's bracelets and chains that get close to $5k. If the girl in the OP showed up with a big stone on her ring, odds are it wasn't a real diamond, but it wasn't necessarily cheap. It actually might have cost more than a ring with a real but smaller diamond in it.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 143
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/13/2012 9:28:10 PM
Yes she did..quoted from the very 1st post
~~~
So she goes to a jeweler at lunch and guess what? It's FAKE. It's beautiful, but it's not a real diamond.
~~~
The point is he lied about it. He let her believe it was something it was not. It's a lie. Whether it was a cheap fake, a cheap gem or a not so cheap fake or gem is secondary to that.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 144
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/13/2012 9:35:55 PM
confuzzled... PLEASE, show me where it says that he told her it was a diamond, where she ever mentioned that she expected a diamond, where it said they had any conversation at all about the stone in the ring, etc.

You're adding your own details to the story. For all we know, she just assumed something and was wrong. Maybe he even told her it was fake, but she wasn't paying attention because she was focused on the being engaged part. You don't know these details, stop adding your own to the story.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 145
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/13/2012 9:42:45 PM
If a man proposed to me, and offered me a ring that resembled a diamond I would think it was a diamond. So will ANY women, unless a conversation was had prior to that so she knows what kind of stone it is. Otherwise the man should TELL her what kind of stone it is. If not, it is a lie. I'm not adding to the story. I can understand context clues. The woman in question clearly thought it was a diamond or why would she "go to a jeweler to check" at the mere suggestion that it's not and then be upset (as inferred by the context clues). I mean come on. This is common sense and even my son can figure things out by understanding context clues. They are very important in story telling.

Also it doesn't matter when she went to the jeweler. If she's smart she'd have it appraised. Would it be better for her to find out that he lied then?

edit:
No.. most guys would have had a conversation with her prior to asking where they discussed the ring, including what he was able to afford, what she wanted, what he wanted and what was expected by all. I would ask if it's a real diamond or not as there are certain places I might not even want to wear my engagement ring if it was a real stone. It would not be my next question, but i'd eventually ask. For someone who is so "equal this, equal that" you're awful quick to judge.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 146
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/13/2012 9:48:21 PM
When a guy is proposing to you, do you want the first thing he says immediately after you give him an answer to be "btw, that's not a real diamond"?

He didn't tell her because it didn't matter. Assuming he never said anything to her about if it's real or fake, then it's her own fault that she didn't find out until she went to the jeweler, cuz she could have just asked... ofc, most guys, even if the diamond was real, would probably almost immediately dump you for caring that much about what kind of stone it is, and not what it symbolizes.
 Scared888
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 147
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/13/2012 11:55:36 PM
Um he doesnt care about her at all.
What kind of an idiot get s girl a fake diamond for an engagement ring?
Id be cutting body parts off in his sleep.
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 148
view profile
History
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/14/2012 7:50:52 PM
"Dahling I luv you, but give me Park Avenue."

Tell her to look our for Arnold the pig. I hear he bites!
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 149
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/14/2012 8:29:32 PM

What kind of an idiot get s girl a fake diamond for an engagement ring?
Id be cutting body parts off in his sleep.


What do you gold diggers want? A really really small diamond, or a big cubic zirconia that you can show off?

When you women buy us men $5-10k gifts, then you'll get your real diamonds. The price of a diamond engagement ring is pretty high.

At least someone is finally stepping up and showing that yes, love has a price tag
 Habs_Fan13
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 150
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/15/2012 6:14:33 PM
That's terrible, people are so focused on the ring, maybe if they actually focus on the marriage the divorce rate wouldn't be so ridiculously high. The ring shouldn't be what matters.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...