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 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 126
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
bamagirl, the post wasn't about whether or not I liked this woman. There's no "jealousy" as another poster said. It was only about whether you'd have a ring checked for authenticity. I'm not sure how you got "trying to get people on my side" from that. And what could I possibly gain by "getting people on my side" if I were in fact trying to do that? Talk about childish. Perhaps you just lacked comprehension of my post or maybe you just like putting your personal spin on things to make yourself look better?
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 127
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/27/2012 2:00:07 PM

For those of you saying that you don't care about your man putting a diamond on your finger...I'm not buying it, lol.
I bet you'd be singing a different tune if it really were to happen. It doesn't have to be a big diamond, but a diamond nonetheless. It's not about the size or amount spent, it's what it represents and it's traditional.

Just saying =)


Speak for yourself. I have a jewellery box full of expensive gems, rings, earrings...all very real and many of them quality diamonds. They are just 'things'...the person behind the gift means more than any 'thing'. I personally dont like diamonds. The jewels I have with diamonds in them I only wear when I know Im seeing the person who gave it to me, such as my father. I prefer my birth stone actually, way more than a diamond. Not every female is diamond crazy.

On topic, sounds like the couple are a good match.

I would only get it appraised so that my home insurance would cover the loss if required personally. It wouldnt be on the top of my list to get done though.
 MissesMiko
Joined: 8/5/2012
Msg: 128
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/27/2012 2:02:53 PM
Who cares about the diamond, the bigger issue resides in the fact that "he bought a ring to shut her up". :/
 Outsideofthebox1
Joined: 8/18/2012
Msg: 129
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/27/2012 2:34:32 PM
And it backfired... she'll never shut up now..
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 130
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/27/2012 5:32:09 PM
^^^ Maybe she’ll leave him and put him out of his misery, poor baby.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 131
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/27/2012 6:40:54 PM
this is hilarious !!!!!

actually, my ex wife insisted on my NOT buying her an actual diamond...

she was fine with CZ...


so great...I bought her a large CZ ring...

still looked great....



folks who are all geeked up (women) about diamonds don't know or don't care about how they actually make it to their hands....


its laughable really - cuz a diamond is NOT a rare jewel...
its expensive because its primarily a monopoly... they can set the price to whatever they wish it to be...


and its been marketed to death in our western culture that a guy's gotta spend 2.5 months of his salary on an engagement ring !!!


are you kidding ??
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 132
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/27/2012 6:49:33 PM
I'd be more upset that he lied about what kind of ring it was rather then it being fake versus real.

That being said.. if my guy can't afford a ring and is honest with me about it, I wouldn't expect one. We could come up with something else together. I also think the man just needs to walk or your friend does. As clearly she expects something different then he does. No good can come of it.

Poster above me: Actually diamonds are the most plentiful gem in the world. But they only release so many per year, which is why they charge so much. They create demand, by controlling the supply.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 133
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/27/2012 8:02:45 PM

I'd be more upset that he lied about what kind of ring it was rather then it being fake versus real.


Does that mean if a guy was to give you an engagement ring, you would quiz him on it-wanting to know if it was a real diamond, how many carats it is, etc? What if he decides he doesn't want to give you any details of the ring, thinking only a gold digger would do that? If it was given to you as some ancient ritual symbol of love, why can't you accept it for what it is, no matter if it cost $5 or $50,000? Or do you need the real deal and nothing less so you can shove it in people's faces and say "Look what I got. Eat your heart out."
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 134
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/27/2012 8:43:48 PM
If the guy thinks i'm a gold digger because I expect him to be truthful about everything including the ring, then he shouldn't pop the question in the first place. Leading someone on to believe something that is a falacy is a lie and I'm not ok with that. I'm sure if a guy gave me some ancient ritual symbol of love there'd be some kind of proposal that explains it, or some kind of meaning behind it that i'd understand by the simple act of receiving it. If a guy just presented me with an apple (ancient Greek symbol of love) or something with no explanation or it had no meaning to us as a couple, i'd probably be upset. Because it would illustrate that he doesn't really value our relationship or ir wouldn't represent anything about our relationship.

Plus, if I went to get it appraised, since it's usually covered by insurance, I'd be mad when the jewelry told me it's fake. I'd be mad because he didn't tell me.

And yea.. If a guy did presented me with a rock.. i'd show it off, just like i show off my car and everything else awesome and amazing that is mine. And you do to. It's human nature.

PS.. with the rest of your post, you clearly didn't finish reading my entire post. Or you'd already know the answer..
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 135
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/27/2012 9:50:07 PM
phoenix 55- "The post wasn't about whether or not I like this woman"?!
Really?!
Let me remind you of your own words- "I don't much care for her and usually avoid her and her drama."
Does that rind a bell?
You protest a little too much and in doing so, make your motivation clear.
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 136
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 4:45:06 AM
^^^You might wanna re-read the original post. The only question was "would you have a ring checked for authenticity?" Any peripheral comments I made about this woman personally were merely to make a point about what I thought her true intentions were. And I believe she's a golddigger.
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 137
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 7:57:05 AM
Any peripheral comments I made about this woman personally were merely to make a point about what I thought her true intentions were.


But, how can you tell what her "true" intentions were? You'll never know, because the situation was manipulated and she was "set up" by at least one of her nasty and cruel co-workers who provoked her by saying:
"Are you sure it's real?"


That is almost as intrusive and rude as asking someone whether their teeth are "real" or they wear dentures.

Except, it is even more cruel, since it introduces the element of pushing doubt into her thoughts and undermining the relationship with her BF. How mean her co-workers must be. They must enjoy pulling wings off flies as well.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 138
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History
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 8:18:10 AM
I just got to ask why soooo many women have come into this thread and have felt the need to belittle the women with the fake engagement ring, by proclaiming how much better they are because they arent like the woman in the OP's story. It doesnt matter what you want, it doesnt make you any better than her becuase you only want a small stone or no ring at all.

Clearly the OP has already tainted the woman in this story's character with her personal opinion, all we have is a representaion of someone who has already admitted that she has a certain impression and has framed the story to uphold that bias.

Now, I also have to ask why sooo many men are just as happy to condone the deception done by the male in this little story too? Do you think that it is OK to lie or be deceptive rather than tell the truth? I guess being a spineless, weak liar is something you aspire to as well?

All I know is that someone gave someone a ring that has a fake stone in it, unless the person who gave that ring told her that the stone was a fake, he was deceptive in giving her something that was supposed to signify his commitment to her, and unless she held a gun to his head and forced him down to Jarrods to buy the biggest ring possible, he carries about as much character flaws as the women in this story does.

Just for the record, the only diamonds I have are ones that I purchased myself.
 QueenSaru
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 139
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History
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 10:15:20 AM

it doesnt make you any better than her becuase you only want a small stone or no ring at all.


You started off so well...


Just for the record, the only diamonds I have are ones that I purchased myself.


And then you fell off the wagon.

How is pointing out that you don't 'need someone else to buy you diamonds' any better than the women who have stated they don't require a diamond, or a ring, or a big ring?

I personally would not want a ring, regardless of the stone, because I do not like things on my fingers or hands (I don't even wear a watch). This doesn't make me better or worse than anyone. It's a personal preference. If someone wants a big ring and their SO is happy to oblige, it's no one's business but theirs.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 140
view profile
History
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 11:00:53 AM
quote]How is pointing out that you don't 'need someone else to buy you diamonds' any better than the women who have stated they don't require a diamond, or a ring, or a big ring?


That wasnt my point, my point was that all of my jewelry of any value didnt come from someone else, that I do own diamonds, but they werent given to me as some sort of token so I dont have any hidden kinship with the women in this scenario. I am not saying that I am better or worse than anyone else.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 141
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 1:02:50 PM
PoF threads twist and turn with discussion, the better threads do anyway…

I contributed to this thread for the discussion, like every other thread. No offense to this or any other OP, but I don’t take PoF forum threads all that seriously…or necessarily believe the situations are even true. The OP as presented read as sort of over the top to me, I didn’t think that anything posted on here would mortally wound anyone.

I don’t see how anybody who contributed to the beginning of this thread with his/her opinions about authenticating an engagement ring (which was the point of the OP) or stating that a big gawdy ring isn’t required for them is so horrible. That’s how the thread discussion flowed.

Also I don’t see how judging people for judging others is so very virtuous.

The players (if they exist) in this saga are completely oblivious to this thread, I’m sure. If by some freak occurrence anyone is immobile with agony over it somewhere, they are beyond the hope of anything that could possibly be posted here, anyway.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 142
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 8:04:44 PM

Now, I also have to ask why sooo many men are just as happy to condone the deception done by the male in this little story too? Do you think that it is OK to lie or be deceptive rather than tell the truth? I guess being a spineless, weak liar is something you aspire to as well?


What deception? Show me where she said that he told her it was a diamond. Show us where she knows 100% that he wasn't serious about getting engaged.

From what we know about the story, there is NO reason to think there was any deception at all. You're just adding this stuff in.

All we know from the story is she got a ring, and had a huge change in mood when the question on if it was real or fake came up. That's it. We don't know the actual details of what went on between her and the boyfriend. Stop making assumptions.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 143
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 8:34:42 PM
Rockstar..

the last sentence of the OP states, it's a fake.

If a man presents a women with a ring and leads her to believe it's a diamond it's a lie. If you can't afford a diamond do something else, or discuss it and do it together. You can still surprise her with timing method or the actual ring. How upset will she be when she gets it appraised (as any smart person would do with an expensive ring), and finds out it's fake?

No we don't know the actual details. but the question as then raised later as to what you would do if it was a fake or how you would feel. So the answers are relevant.
 moutainbreeze
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 144
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/28/2012 11:18:52 PM
If a man bought me a $100, 000 ring, I'd hand it back to him and leave, for good. That's absurd. No I am not kidding.

What can you do with such a thing but worry about a prong breaking and it getting lost. I mean seriously, I'd rather have $100,000 to build a school in Costa Rica, or $100,000 in investment capital to start a research center for brain injury rehab, or $100,000 to build a massive greenhouse in some remote town in Alaska and provide fresh veggies year round at a decent price, or best yet I would take it and purchase a hyperbaric chamber and enough Chromium Picolinate to help the Lakota Nation to be rid of their diabetes problem and stop losing their limbs and loved ones to that freakin disease.

Anyone standing around a water cooler bragging up a ring of any size, however is a shallow attention who.re. Also, given that diamond likely came from the violent murder of an entire village, enslaved children forced to labor all day rather than being educated or the rape and hacking mutilation of entire families.. I think I would prefer something less gaudy myself. Serves her right that it's fake. Why do men stay with women like that?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 145
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 7:38:05 AM
When I proposed to my ex, I did something practical and logical which would be a deal breaker for almost all women. I proposed to her without a ring. (I would bet women are now gasping and in total shock and attacking their screens). I told her I don't anything about about rings, so I said we can go ring shopping the next day and let her pick out a ring that she wants instead of me taking a wild guess at what she wants and guessing what finger size she has. That's what we did and it worked out (the ring part). What I would find embarrassing is picking a ring she isn't thrilled with and is too small to put on her finger. But a lot of women would break up with a guy if the guy proposed without handing her a diamond ring-when my ex told her female friends of how I proposed and the ring situation, her friends all said there would be no engagement and wedding if they didn't get a diamond ring at the same time as the proposal.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 146
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 8:26:31 AM
I don't know how I would feel with or without a ring, I think it depends more on the relationship itself. I was proposed to a few times, all of them without rings. I didn't say no because of the lack of a ring. I said no for other reasons. Actually the lack of a ring didn't even cross my mind during the proposal. Other more pressing things did.

Some women will be appalled at the idea. Others just say what they think others expect them to say.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 147
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 10:39:55 AM

the last sentence of the OP states, it's a fake.

If a man presents a women with a ring and leads her to believe it's a diamond it's a lie. If you can't afford a diamond do something else, or discuss it and do it together. You can still surprise her with timing method or the actual ring. How upset will she be when she gets it appraised (as any smart person would do with an expensive ring), and finds out it's fake?


But where does it say that he told her the ring was real? You're adding a detail that doesn't exist into the story to fit the, overly common on these forums, "the guy's a jerk" argument.

Do you ever think that maybe he just didn't tell her because IT DOESN'T MATTER???!!!!?!?!?!?! It shouldn't matter if it's a real diamond or not in the ring, you should like the ring for what it symbolizes, not what it's worth.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 148
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 10:54:47 AM
but see.. allowing someone to believe something is true, when you know it is not, is a lie. If it didn't matter then the guy would say I wish I could get you a diamond because you are worth that and so much more or something else that illustrates the meaning behind what he's doing or the reason he went with the gem he went with or something along those lines. I didn't say the guys a jerk. I said to mislead someone, even if you do so by letting them believe something is true when it is not, is a lie. If you propose to me and the ring looks like a diamond, I will think it's a diamond, unless we have talked about it before and you told me you can't afford one or I told you I wanted something different. If you allow me to think it's a diamond it's a lie. I will get it appraised, because the insurance will require it in order to cover it, I will be upset if I find out from a jeweler that it is fake.

I never said what i personally would want in a ring. Actually I believe I said that whatever it is should mean something to the couple. But a lie, is a lie, is a lie.

Of course we don't have the detail of if she knew or not ahead of time. But that wasn't the question asked. The question was would have you it checked to see if it was a fake. No I wouldn't, but i'd have it appraised to add it to the insurance policy at which time I'd find out it was a fake and be upset that he lied. There are plenty of other ways to propose and plenty of rings, other then diamonds, you can give. If a guy was to propose to me, he's know exactly what I'd like best and I'd hope that's what he'd do.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 149
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 11:02:11 AM

When I proposed to my ex, I did something practical and logical which would be a deal breaker for almost all women. I proposed to her without a ring. (I would bet women are now gasping and in total shock and attacking their screens).


Oh how stupid, who cares. Most couples actually discuss marriage before that moment…it’s not like some chick flick where he’s suddenly on his knee in public and it’s supposedly a big surprise for her out the blue.

You’ve been watching too many of them, I think.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 150
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/29/2012 11:25:01 AM
Who said he let her believe it was real? Again, you're adding your own details to the story. He gave her a ring, that's all. There was no mention of her wanting a diamond, there was no mention of him saying it was a diamond. She was complaining about not being married and getting older, so they got engaged. That's all that's told to us in the story, anything else, you're adding yourself.

Also, when a guy buys you earrings or a ring, do you want him to hand it to you and say "they're not real diamonds", or... nevermind, just remembered the whole car thing...
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