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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > What are your intentions for being on this site?      Home login  
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 bekind212
Joined: 8/21/2012
Msg: 51
What are your intentions for being on this site?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I was thinking about this on my drive home from work, actually.

My stated intention is to find a long-term relationship. My "dream" intention is to find a long-term relationship with a man who I enjoy and accept as he is, who enjoys and accepts me as I am, without wanting me to be or do something different because that's how he wants it. Many years of not really knowing what I wanted because I was always focusing on what the man wanted or what the relationship wanted, taught me to really appreciate the four years I've been "unattached." (I'm not blaming the men I chose to be with - I played my own part in that scenario.)

But when it comes down to it, honestly, I think I am afraid to take a chance. I am admitting this because I have seen myself dismiss men pretty quickly when I see something I MIGHT not like. I haven't even dated anyone more than a few weeks, in the past four years. I don't want to get caught up in forgetting who I am again, but then I am not giving myself a chance to test that out and maybe do better this time. I'm pretty good at taking chances in the rest of my life, but with a relationship, apparently I am guy-shy. (That is not a typo!)

I have a suspicion that there are a LOT more people on this site who have the same fear of taking a chance than it seems. I have lost count of how many men have written to me or replied to me, and the e-mails have just stopped even after seemingly great connections and interest.

I think the forums are a great way to find intelligent people too, not just bozos. :)
 RUReal1
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 52
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 9/27/2012 11:47:09 PM
My sole intention is to meet that special lady to grow old with. Since I'm the loner type, the chances of meeting a woman anywhere is nil, so dating sites are my only option. I'm not looking for one-night stands.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 53
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 9/28/2012 8:59:37 AM
^^^ you are exceptionally unusual.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 54
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 9/28/2012 10:01:20 AM
I initially joined PoF because I wanted to meet women, go on a date and have fun experiencing some things I may have missed out on. Fun should eventually include rolling in the hay, jumping in the sack, doing the momba, rubbing sticks or things of that nature. It's not like a goal, but it is fun. I never had any other particular goal in dating, my only goal was only to have an interesting time.

I met one woman from the site, she was everything she said she was in her profile, but I had told her this wasn't a date or meet up. Earlier on I was somewhat interested in two other woman, one said she was 18 and we exchanged sexual notes / techniques for a month, she was curious about dating an older dude, but she hooked up with a 16 year old, the other was my age and she thought I was already too involved with what was then my very long distance GF, to whom I was thinking of getting married. Likely she was right about me and I was only playing with maybe dating, hard to tell about a path never taken, and both lived a considerable distance away. If they were close by I am pretty sure I would have at least met them. I did meet my future wife when I was on a trip to meet a previous GF and as it happened I dumped the old GF before meeting her again since I was so taken with my future wife. But I did make a 2 week long date with another women I met online even after meeting my future wife. I have always been reluctant to get married, but once married I have never cheated.

I stayed on PoF after I got married because I was curious what I had been missing by not dating or meeting anyone else. It's interesting to see how other people are relating., what their prejudices are. It seems like the younger generation between 30-45 are more conservative and nearly as bigoted as many were in the 60s. Younger people are always more open to new things, so hard to tell with them.

If the stories from the forums are any guide to relationships, I dodge a bullet by not trying too hard. Not everyone is un-dateable, there a few women I would have liked to have met, but for the most part, I am glad I don't have to try.

Once my wife gets a visa and comes to the USA to stay, I doubt I will have much more free time to spend on PoF forum. And soon we will be going on a 2 month honeymoon we really never had.

It seems I really am different than most, but not nearly as different as some.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 55
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 9/30/2012 3:53:40 PM
I'm tired of the bar scene, I don't go out that much anymore, but if I did I would have met someone, I'm sure.
Odds are against me ever meeting the 1 on this site but I do love the forums & that keeps me coming back. I was on this site, ready to delete my profile, when I discovered the forums...love 'em. It's like being a part of a community without leaving the comfort of my own home...

I would like to meet a man for a long term relationship, but so far I haven't got 1 date off of this site, but I have made 2 friends, one in California & one in Florida.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 56
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 9/30/2012 9:48:39 PM

What are your intention for being on this site?



Yes there are many reasons why people are in this site. what their motives is none of your busness.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 57
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 9/30/2012 10:08:32 PM
Wrong Vannili this is a valid thread

Why is it wrong to ask what peoples motives are to being on this site? There have been a wide range of responses and some have made interesting reading. if you do not want to take part in this forum then why have you bothered posting? You have the choice to open up or choose not to - Its called freedom :)

I hope your input to other debates is a little more mature and interesting. If not then POF isnt really the place for you to be involved in forum chat :)
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 58
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 9/30/2012 11:01:21 PM
^^^^ It is a"over powering "personal question , he has the freedom to ask the question in this forum but it did not arouse me as a debate subject. As we all know the basic intention of "single " people in this dating site is to find a romantic mate and I bet that is his intention too .....or he may have other motives to score a free phuck.ect.ect...
This forum is open for intellectual debate or people posting help for their problems or just want to connect with others because they are lonely or whatever.

The message ----The question is valid
<div class="quote"> WHAT IS YOUR INTENTION ON BEING ON THIS SITE ?

MY answer is valid message NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.. Unless the OP is the OWNER OF PLENTY OF FISH DATING SITE asking me that question , my answers are all in my PROFILE


ps this is not a chat place ,please check it.

Because I did not bite his being nosy on my personal life, you think you are in authority to tell me I should not be involve in this site ??? If some wo/men answered truthfully and they think it is a good argument, good for him FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS ----,I WANT TO GIVE MY OPINION TO HIS THREAD. Is that a crime to answer his question point for point ???????

If I am dating a guy and will ask me these question in Msg.11 ,that guy gave me an impression that he has no life at all..
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 59
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 9/30/2012 11:26:57 PM
I don't understand why so many women at my/our age think you have to get married to have a meaningful relationship. Most of us have already gone that route and it didn't end well or we wouldn't be here on POF now.


Maybe because that is how our generation was raised. And I am old-fashioned enough to see that as a very good thing. Men and women have been legally mated pairs since the dawn of time and there are good reasons for being so. Even though my marriage ended, I am smart enough to know that the institution of marriage itself is not to blame and that I should not project blame on the next person who might wish to marry me for issues I had with my first spouse. I still see taking those vows in front of God, family and friends as the ultimate expression of one's commitment and hope that one day I will be someone's better half again.

By the way, women are not the only ones our age looking for a lifetime commitment, nor do we jump at the first man to come along who asks. I have been proposed to three different men since my divorce. Two I declined and one I accepted...but that one I caught cheating; end of engagement. Still, I am a HOPEFUL, not hopeless, romantic.
 waitingforyoutoo
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 60
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/1/2012 6:14:40 AM
Just to set the record straight, my intentions for this thread are nothing but honorable. Again, I will explain the question I asked and the reason it lead to the thread topic later on.
Everyone has a right to post how they feel. :)

My life: Work 9-5 mon-sat 12-5 sun (call before you come) After all I have other things like fishing or running to town to get things or whatever else comes up.

My reason for being here is to find someone to share the rest of my life with. Not a player and not into rushing anything(old fashioned as well). Just thought it was fair I should answer my own question.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 61
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/1/2012 7:01:23 AM

It is a"over powering "personal question , he has the freedom to ask the question in this forum but it did not arouse me as a debate subject.


That is very, very strange notion, the forum is filled with questions that many people won't even ask each other in the privacy of their own bedrooms.

Though I think the belief that PoF is a place for debate or where freedom of speech is honored is not just debatable it's patently false. The forum is more a place to air gripes, complaints, to vent and ask about routine problems with relationships. Any subject that touches too many nerves or is a hot topic is eventually deleted. Since under age 55 PoF has many more women that men, any topic that women don't like seeing discussed is eventually eliminated. I would have to guess it's women (likely a small minoirty) that complain about those topics because of the types of topics that are deleted.

But we can debate all day long our feelings about tattoos.
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 62
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/1/2012 8:06:32 AM
Of course its the women complaining about various posts. That's what they do best. Its their way or the hiway.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 63
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/1/2012 9:43:22 AM

DragonBits
Any subject that touches too many nerves or is a hot topic is eventually deleted. Since under age 55 PoF has many more women that men, any topic that women don't like seeing discussed is eventually eliminated. I would have to guess it's women (likely a small minoirty) that complain about those topics because of the types of topics that are deleted.


Where did you get this idea, that under age 55 there are more women than men on POF? I would be willing to wager a small sum that you’re wrong about that.

I think Vanilli was rather harsh, if she didn’t like the question she could have just skipped over this thread.

To get back on topic, my intentions for this site are three-fold.

Short term, find someone attractive and interesting to spend some time with.

Medium term, to get laid.

Long term, find someone to spend the rest of my life with.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 64
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/1/2012 10:02:32 AM

Where did you get this idea, that under age 55 there are more women than men on POF? I would be willing to wager a small sum that you’re wrong about that.


I am slightly dyslexic, I myself had analzed the data that indicated more twice as many men at women under the age of 55, at the age 55 is is 50/50, and after that there are more women than men. I posted that in another thread.

My bad.


Long term, find someone to spend the rest of my life with.


The older I get, the easier it is to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. :)
 Lostnwandering
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 65
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/1/2012 9:13:18 PM
Cheap Entertainment and who knows,even a blind hog finds the occasional nut.
 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 66
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/1/2012 11:05:30 PM
Your chance of finding a nut here is exponentially better than anywhere else on earth, or cyberspace, I think. LOL. Keep your nose down and turn over as much real estate as possible! LOL
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 67
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/3/2012 1:54:01 PM
even a blind hog finds the occasional nut.

Indeed-and even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.
Speaking of nuts...I'm here because i was told there would be snacks...and beer.
Another plan was to look for trouble-lol.


Your chance of finding a nut here is exponentially better than anywhere else on earth, or cyberspace, I think.

NO LIE!!
By and large, I'm also inclinedto agree with messages #2, to foil and frustrate men who follow #15( ya can't fleece a threadbare sheep lol). Message#21 also resonates....so does message#35.

message #55- I hear that, for sure...but I refuse to surrender to anger and/or despair. It may require skullduggery, mindf*ckery, treachery, trickery and deceit to defeat anger and despair, but I refuse to let them win, even if it means employing underhanded tactics...LOL.

Dragonbits, I can understand where you are coming from in message #69, though I cannot completely agree with all your points.

As for Miss Vanilli-she can and does make some great contributions-and humor!- to the forums, and I do understand that some people may take "what are your intentions" as nosy or even belligerent.


Its their way or the hiway.

this is one of the things I DON'T like about the forums,as compared to in-person discussions...it can be difficult-even sometimes impossible- to tell if a person is making a statement from anger, resignation, an attempt for the tail to wag the dog, or from genuine resignation and defeatism.

My original intention in coming to this particular individual site, actually WAS(and still is) was to find discussion about today's dating scene,especially for the 45+ crowd who are divorced or widowed. In my real-life circles of friends,acquaintances, conversational companions, there are very few unpartnered people that are looking to date or get involved in another pair-bond relationship. Most of my RL contacts are either not single, or they are not looking. Some of the "not-looking" are not OPPOSED to forming another paired-up relationship but they regard that as peripheral to their primary life activities and interests.

As for the huge disparity between "views" and "responses", I think that is pretty much on a par with the usual pattern of a topic-regardless of what the topic is about.
I'm inclined to suspect that the OP would like to use the discrepancy between number of participants and number of viewers to fortify a belief that most people on PoF are just windowshoppers and tirekickers.
Far be it from me to deprive him of that belief, if he finds it comforting.
Cindy O
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 68
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/3/2012 2:02:31 PM

As for Miss Vanilli-she can and does make some great contributions-and humor!- to the forums, and I do understand that some people may take "what are your intentions" as nosy or even belligerent.


The subject line makes me feel like I am being interrogated by my dates father and I am 19 years old.

But as far as being personal, 90% of the the forum is over the top personal.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 69
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/3/2012 3:48:58 PM
ohenryx:
I think Vanilli was rather harsh, if she didn’t like the question she could have just skipped over this thread.

To get back on topic, my intentions for this site are three-fold.

Short term, find someone attractive and interesting to spend some time with.

Medium term, to get laid.

Long term, find someone to spend the rest of my life with.


I think I have to agree with all of this, and to interact with others in the forums. Though the mind numbing negativity of many posters sometimes makes me want to go live as a hermit in the woods.
 lavenderandred
Joined: 8/18/2012
Msg: 70
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/3/2012 4:32:36 PM
Ok...I am mainly reading the Forums, but this is the closest to what I'm looking for....

How about a thread for people over 60?...the ones that I found are nothing close to up to date...

Could someone from moderator area pls add this as a forum thread...? pls
 NCnavetG8r
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 71
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/3/2012 6:11:24 PM
Maybe because that is how our generation was raised. And I am old-fashioned enough to see that as a very good thing. Men and women have been legally mated pairs since the dawn of time and there are good reasons for being so. Even though my marriage ended, I am smart enough to know that the institution of marriage itself is not to blame and that I should not project blame on the next person who might wish to marry me for issues I had with my first spouse. I still see taking those vows in front of God, family and friends as the ultimate expression of one's commitment and hope that one day I will be someone's better half again.

By the way, women are not the only ones our age looking for a lifetime commitment, nor do we jump at the first man to come along who asks. I have been proposed to three different men since my divorce. Two I declined and one I accepted...but that one I caught cheating; end of engagement. Still, I am a HOPEFUL, not hopeless, romantic.


1388 you make very valid points and you have a right to your own expectations. I respect that and understand many men and women feel the same way you do. I guess my point I was trying to make (obviously badly), is that at our age, we've already done the mating part. We've already gone before God with our vows, with intentions of it being forever, but for one reason or another we're no longer in that relationship any longer. All our vows amounted to emptiness in the end. The kids are grown up and out on their own. A new chapter in our lives is before us. Is it really necessary for us to go through that whole process again when we both know good and well we aren't going to be producing anymore offspring and raising them together. Once you throw that out of the equation, I guess I just don't really see the need for the whole "legally mated pair" thing anymore.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 72
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/3/2012 7:11:20 PM
^^^Some people still see the value and comfort in a commited relationship even if no kids are going to be produced by it.
 waitingforyoutoo
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 73
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/5/2012 5:44:57 AM
The question I asked was "Do you go out just to have fun and see if there might be something there?" This was a first contact message.
The reason behind this question was because I wanted to know if they could do just that whenever or if we even got together. The hardest thing is trying to get someone away from the fantasy of being behind a keyboard and into the reality of actually meeting. This question would actually draw out the ones that want to find someone and the ones that do not in theory.
As far as the views/responses that could also in theory show that alot of POF members do not want to give out the real reason for being on here. There is nothing to be ashamed about for your reasons to be here.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 74
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/5/2012 7:29:51 AM
the divorce statistics should convince anyone that there is no relationship between a "committed relationship" and the social and legal conventions associated with marriage. Why this is not so never ceases to amaze me.

What makes a committed relationship is a decision taken daily, even minute by minute, by both parties to stay together and build a joint future. Vows, preachers, lawyers and the state are never consulted, and obviously have little influence on the decisions taken.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 75
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What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 10/5/2012 7:52:59 AM
In my view, without marriage vows, there is really no commitment. This is why so many are against marriage, to avoid commitment, right or wrong. But at what cost to the future of the family unit?
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