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 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 26
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Girl disappears for two months then messages mePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
You are plan "B" and she is hoping to use you as a back up. Were i you, I'd not touch it with a ten foot pole.

Were she truly that interested in you her ex wouldn't have factored into anything.


More words of wisdom.
Yeah that's about right...a woman always have a guy she's talking, flirting, or having intimate encounters with. I had this experience waaaay back in my younger dating years. A guy that's plan B will never truly be plan A. Nothing plan B can do can truly satisfy her. Everything the gentleman does will be compared to plan A (esp. sex). If the gentlemen is looking for a serious commitment I wouldn't advise investing too much time and energy in this one. Now on the other hand...if he's someone like me...he should handle his "business" and send her on her marry way. lol
 RUNisFUN
Joined: 9/14/2012
Msg: 27
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 12:10:59 AM
If she is a basketball, her ex was definitely dribbling until he got tired of her for a few days so now she is bouncing back to you without her ex knowing.
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 28
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Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 12:12:19 AM
Met this girl about 3 months ago and my sister in law introduced me to her at a bachelorette party. We talked a little and she said she really likes me to my step sister. Texted her a few times and talked to her on facebook to set up a date. She pretty much ignored me for about 3 weeks then texted me again asking what I was up to. I texted her back not much and if she was still interested in hanging out. No response so just stopped texting her. Thought that was the end of it 2 months ago.

I then get a facebook message last night.

Hi there! I just want to apologize, I feel bad for just stopping talking to you. I met you at not the best time .... my ex was acting weird & I stopped talking to most people. I know that's a horrible reason, I just wanted to apologize. If you would like to hang out sometime that would be wonderful, but if not I completely understand. Hope you have a fabulous Monday.

What do you make of this?


I guess I'll just tagg along with what other guys are saying. Truth is...she's mainly just lonely and need someone to vent to. As other guys noted you're plan B to her. And as soon as her ex spit a lil' game to her she's going to disappear again. Everything you do is going to be measured to her ex. Talk to her if you want, but I wouldn't advise putting the time and effort into truly dating her. Meet up and see where her head is at. If she constantly talks about her "ex" your best bet is to leaver her alone. Not sure if you're the hit it and quit it type. If not, just leave her alone. If you are...do your thing.
 Truefellow
Joined: 7/7/2012
Msg: 29
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 1:04:16 AM
I can't create anymore threads in ask a girl or relationship advice. I type the message under 10 words hit post and my post is not showing up. Any reason for this?
 Maybe_Have_Some_Faith
Joined: 8/18/2012
Msg: 30
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 3:20:49 AM

Girl disappears for two months then messages me

because


I met you at not the best time .... my ex was acting weird & I stopped talking to most people.

He is supposed to be an ex. He should have no effect on her life because of this. Go ahead date her but expect at anytime her so called ex will act weird and she will stop talking with you again.
 Phil_an_derer
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 31
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 4:01:47 AM
Her life will go on with or without you.....
 pinklemonaide5
Joined: 7/30/2012
Msg: 32
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 4:24:26 AM
What have you got to loose ? Unless your date book is too full ? lol Get out there and live life to the fullest.
Don't worry about anything, just go have fun.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 33
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Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 4:32:09 AM
What do I make of this? Wondering why she was still on your Facebook.

Had I neglected to "unfriend" her, my response might have been "I'm sorry. Who are you again?", but most likely I would have ignored it and then unfriended her.
 authenticoutlook
Joined: 9/1/2012
Msg: 34
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 5:17:48 AM
Actaully... I think she is telling the truth. Probably was still dealing with the break up and the ex in one way or another.

I don't think texting someone is a good way to communicate. I'd call her in person and talk to her in "real" time and feel her out and ask "good" honest questions and see how she answers them.

You can't often judge a book by it's cover! Use your own judgement.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 35
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 5:37:32 AM
OP,
if you're interested in talking to her again, then talk to her. If not don't respond to her, keep it simple.
 bite-the-apple
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 36
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 5:57:29 PM
I say give her another chance. But you have to draw the line somewhere. At some point you have to realize there are plenty of fish in the sea. If she disappears again, she needs to get her mind straight.
 babyblue910
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 37
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 6:20:07 PM
i think you should meet her too.. timing is everything. i think i respect her more for not starting anything with you until she was finished with the ex... you never know.
 Love.Notes
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 38
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 7:24:47 PM
She could be telling the truth but I can't help but ask myself why she didn't explained that months ago. "I need some time and space talk soon" a quick text would have done. But she didn't...she just left. I don't believe just because your life is going through a rough period, you need to ignore someone. It takes two seconds to fire off a quick explanation as to why she needs some time and space right now. That's just an excuse. How much do you like this girl? If you think she is worth it then go for it, answer her back but I think that she is bound to repeat the same thing a few months down the road with a different excuse.

I'd move on and find someone that had no other issues holding her back.
 0ttermadness
Joined: 8/29/2012
Msg: 39
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 10:28:42 PM
I wouldn't over-analyze it if I were you. If you're still interested, just go out with her and see what happens. The worst thing that can happen is she'll ignore you again. If that happens, then oh well. C'est la vie.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 40
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 11:46:08 PM
You were on the back burner and now she has no one else around and is contacting you. She is bad mannered to say the least and it is up to you whether you contact her or not. You are attractive and I am sure would not have trouble getting dates so unless you really fancy her, I would forget it.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 41
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/26/2012 6:57:32 AM
Proceed with caution. Perhaps the OP could go out on a date with her. But don't have high expectations. He can keep his options open and still talk to and date other women.
 Papinoir
Joined: 7/17/2010
Msg: 42
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Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/27/2012 7:28:24 PM
The apology/explanation was nice and as others have noted, she could have been telling the truth and perhaps it was just bad timing. Now she might have the time and inclination in following through with going out.

But, in my opinion, even with the apology/explanation this woman has shown herself to be a little too flaky for my tastes as she could have offered the same apology/explanation three months prior when you all were communicating.

From what little I know about your story and from previous personal experiences, I agree with other posters who have speculated that her renewed interest had a lot more to do with boredom and looking to get out than really wanting to spend the time to get to know you.

Did this "call out of blue" occur early on a Friday/Saturday (prime dating hours)?
 Wholikesboats
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 43
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/27/2012 8:32:20 PM
Plan and simple......
she had you sitting on the bench. In a old term from my sports days....You were second string.
 dj_60_2000
Joined: 9/13/2012
Msg: 44
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Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/28/2012 1:05:21 AM
Yeah...she was getting it in with someone else. And he get tired of her or she got tired of him. So she remembered you......folks don't and won't do that if they like you. They will suck up to you before they ignore you.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 45
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/28/2012 7:49:11 AM

Actaully... I think she is telling the truth. Probably was still dealing with the break up and the ex in one way or another.

I don't think texting someone is a good way to communicate. I'd call her in person and talk to her in "real" time and feel her out and ask "good" honest questions and see how she answers them.

You can't often judge a book by it's cover! Use your own judgement.


But for 2 months, she couldn't take the 10 seconds out of her life to at least tell him she's going through a lot and she'll talk to him when it all calms down? I just don't buy it. Almost nobody in the world is that busy / stressed 24/7 that they can't send 1 message or make 1 phone call within that much time. To me, that shows someone who was never interested, who might be looking for someone to settle on.

There's no excuse for disappearing for 2 months and never being able to say a single thing to someone. I've even seen people on their deathbed who are capable of making some kind of contact with other people. I think if she really had any interest in him, she would have made the time to at least tell him what was going on.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 46
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/28/2012 8:14:44 AM
I'd meet her, but cautiously. She's probably not completely untangled.

I've recently had this experience. I'm still dealing with the downside of a situation, mentally not actively, reviewing what was wrong, by the situations we created. One of my faults was not completely cutting one thing off before starting another (starting meaning just interest and talk). The reason is I'm wimpy and don't want to hurt someone, or maybe there's another reason, but I leave the door open a crack. I decided that I'm not going to do anything relationship wise until I know for sure what I'm doing.

I exchanged emails with someone here I felt a pull to, and one night agreed to a meeting, but turned around and cancelled the next morning, explaining that I shouldn't have let it go as far as planning a meeting, but I wan't in a good place to be doing that. Honestly, I'm really interested in getting to know him, but knew that right now I would just in-tangle him in my mess. He likely won't want to meet me two months from now, I know that risk, but when I'm in an ok place to do that, I hope that he will. I feel that keeping too much contact would be like game playing since I don't know how long it will be until I am clear, so I'll probably wait for him to email hello.

Realize you may be second choice, or getting yourself in a wishy washy mess, or be a rebound to feel better, and act accordingly, but a quote from Johnny Depp comes to mind too: "If you find yourself in love with two people, pick the second, because if you really loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen in love with the second." It could apply to attraction too, I suppose.
 vancitygurl78
Joined: 7/6/2012
Msg: 47
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/28/2012 11:23:45 AM
If her ex is still in her life which clearly seems like he is, she's obviously not putting her foot down and tell her ex to f**k off.

I'll admit some ex's can be a bit crazy but if we stop living in fear that our ex will do this or that, well we might as well sit at home and never date.

She should change her number so her ex doesn't have it, block him on facebook so he doesn't know wat she's doing.

I think honestly, it's best not to get involved with her at the moment as she needs to deal with her issues. Cuz remember if she can't handle her mess, it can becomes urs to deal with
 friendshipcomesfirst
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 48
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/28/2012 4:14:54 PM
Just out of curiousity, would you have preffered she get all tangled up in dating you while her ex was creating drama in her life?

she had a problem with an ex, that's not even strictly a "woman thing" plenty of men have had stalker issues as well. Be glad she dealt with that issue without dragging you into it and go hang out. Hanging out does not mean there is a commitment... if she continues to show signs of being a flake wallk away
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 49
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/28/2012 8:12:05 PM

Just out of curiousity, would you have preffered she get all tangled up in dating you while her ex was creating drama in her life?


But why couldn't she tell him? Why leave him in the dark for 2 months? What reason is there to believe that anything she told him was true? Honestly, I just see an excuse to cover a complete lack of interest, possibly because someone better came along, but then it didn't work out. Not one detail of his story shows someone who was interested in him.

I'm honestly willing to bet that there never was an ex involved. Someone who is interested in someone will at least make up a lie BEFORE they vanish for 2 months. What she did is very consistent with "she met someone better".
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 50
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/28/2012 8:17:28 PM
She is engaged with other men who are at the top of her list. You are not and she keeps hitting you up just make sure you still there and available as just-in-case guy.

She has not serious interest in building anything with you. You are back up in case a guy she is really into decides not to get serious with her.

Your best course of action. Ignore her and let her know that you do not tolerate woman playing you to the left like that.
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