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 59thShadeofGrey
Joined: 9/25/2012
Msg: 51
Lousy loversPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Yes, there are 'lousy lovers' out there. They include the alarmingly high percentage of women who think their lover should just use a ouija board to determine their unique likes and dislikes.

I ask a potential lover a very simple, direct question - 'Assuming you find me sexually attractive and wish to create inimacy, what sexual activity(ies) is most likely to result in the most satisfying experience for you?'

If she says ' I need to see your investment portfolio' - cool. I can always respect the Truth.....

If she gives me a 'duh, I don't know' answer - intimacy is clearly not in our future. Life is short - and getting shorter all the time. Who has time to waste on the sexually reticent or ignorant?
 sexguy2012
Joined: 4/27/2012
Msg: 52
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/13/2013 8:11:48 AM
That's a waste really.
Sometimes partners take turns pleasing one another but really BOTH SHOULD get what they need and want.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 53
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:03:47 PM
Be responsible for your own sexuality. Dont dump that on a lover. Carpe Diem Sista
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 54
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:23:24 PM
^^^^^^^^ I'm beginning to really like this venus lady, lol.


Yep, too many sexual hang ups for some of these 60 year olds and often tells a bigger story of them being selfish in other areas in a relationship where women are concerned.


We have to assume that you still, at 60+, have ready access to the panoply of age ranges among post-pubescent men, for your statement to have any validity. Frankly, that's a stretch for me, lol. Unhealthy, or underdeveloped, sexuality or attitudes or approaches are rampant, especially, I think, in the US.

Lousy lovers lead lonely lives.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 55
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:36:40 PM
If I encounter a selfish lover and I get no pleasure from the experience I don't let him roll over and go to sleep. I kick his azz out the door. I might as well get a good nights sleep if nothing else.
 _Meta_Man_
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 56
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/13/2013 3:53:13 PM
There are quite a few women who don't get there with their partner because their brains don't allow them to. It sounds to me like you spoke your peace and he seemed to listen. Maybe he is used to the ones who could care less about getting there because they have mental problems.
 KellysClass
Joined: 5/22/2012
Msg: 57
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:16:58 AM
i love pleasing my partner males it better for me
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 58
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/15/2013 1:27:45 PM
(Having read The OP, Only....)
Sounds like a 60-year-old 'Bad-Boy' to me..!!

" Ugh!!! "...is _Right_!!!

One of the Finest Things In LIFE....is Sharing the Splendor and Passion that is ~Love-making~ with a woman!!!
Any guy that rolls over and goes to sleep after One Lousy *O*
....deserves to be shoveled out the door....
...right into a Snow-Drift!!!
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 59
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/19/2013 4:41:13 PM
More gender wars... please pass the Milk Duds
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 60
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/19/2013 5:36:17 PM
Teach him and tell him what you want.
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 61
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/24/2013 11:07:01 AM
Obviously several of you did not bother to read any of my further comments regarding this issue...and Im not gonna waste my time repeating myself for those who make snap judgments and give flippant remarks.

Jeffrey...your youth is showing...This man and myself are of the generation that touted free love and sexual expression....Remember Hippies???.... Na, you're too young we were before your time....DUH
 Windsweptgold0
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 62
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/24/2013 1:41:22 PM
Take charge in the bedroom then and then you will have no reason to complain. We are all different and guys are not mind readers
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 63
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/24/2013 1:43:27 PM
READ prior posts...^^^^another quick judgment and flippant answer....DUH
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 64
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/24/2013 2:57:40 PM
....Never had one....
...Never been one....

Although I'm sure there's a Lot of women that've had the selfish, macho-type , before....

* N A F T *
 RussArtLover
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 65
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/24/2013 3:22:51 PM
Ask him if he minds if you get on top to start things rolling.

I'm reluctant to say this so please forget it as soon as you read it, but I've never settled for less than 2 orgasms from a girl before I decide it's time to party. (except for my first of course)
 AquaLinda
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 66
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:12:07 PM

Try those younger guys ... you'll be pleasantly surprised ;)


Haha, a girlfriend of mine and I just had this conversation. We were comparing notes and both surprised how disappointing sex with guys our age (40s) has been. As in, they are only out for their own orgasm, do not perform oral (or at least suck at it), and don't last very long either. In comparison, young men in their 20s are very eager to please, last a lot longer in bed, and are just all around more tender afterwards. No rolling over and going to sleep, but cuddling and talking.
 Lucky...13
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 67
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/24/2013 6:11:29 PM
AquaLinda
You should exclusively date men in their *20's* and take them clothes shopping. Worked out OK for Demi. lol
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 68
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/24/2013 8:09:36 PM
^^^^^ Aqualinda,
Insulting all men your age is pointless and mean .. you should post in the under 30 threads ..lots of young men there ..good riddance

Op ..
I read thru the posts, but didn't catch why he finishes first , assuming you both started at the same time ?
 Traumerin
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 69
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/24/2013 9:10:12 PM
Deere rancher, she did not say ALL men her age, only the ones she and her GF have been with. Relax. BTW, I have to agree with her statement, I've had the same experience, so sue me.
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 70
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 7:06:41 AM
deere rancher,

The only "why" I can explain is that the man is selfish, was only concerned with getting to the finish line himself.

For the benefit of all those too pressed for time that they have to make a fast judgment and not read through the posts...I DID TRY TO GIVE HIM SOME DIRECTION ON GETTING ME THERE AND HE JUST SHUSHED ME !

Did ya hear me now??

And YES he is history.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 71
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:49:51 AM

Haha, a girlfriend of mine and I just had this conversation. We were comparing notes and both surprised how disappointing sex with guys our age (40s) has been. As in, they are only out for their own orgasm, do not perform oral (or at least suck at it), and don't last very long either. In comparison, young men in their 20s are very eager to please, last a lot longer in bed, and are just all around more tender afterwards. No rolling over and going to sleep, but cuddling and talking. .


Man oh man, I am so glad this has not been my experience!!
My last 3 lovers have been in their 50's - 60's....(including my current 53 yr old).....and have been some of the best sex I've ever had! Give me a mature, confident man anyday!
 434handyman
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 72
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:56:59 AM
Wow-hasn't men learned anything about women? When a woman invites you into her bed, it's not a right, IT'S A PRIVILIDGE! You must instantly go into that "it's all about her mode". Personally I like to know in advance what a woman likes and doesn't like in bed. It cuts out the guessing game and then you know what to concentrate on and how to please her. I'm tellin you guys-get into her head, before you crawl in her bed, and treat her like a queen!
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 73
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:29:00 PM
Op.. did it ever occur to your self -centered mind to start yourself a little earlier, have yourself really turned on before he starts ..geez I've had women , who at times, temporarily had difficulity reaching an orgasm...I would help in any way I could , but when it comes right down to it , the responsibility is HERS , and for you to lay there and expect the other partner to do all the work... has me wondering whom is the selfish one
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 74
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 4:40:59 PM
Op.. did it ever occur to your self -centered mind to start yourself a little earlier, have yourself really turned on before he starts ..geez I've had women , who at times, temporarily had difficulity reaching an orgasm...I would help in any way I could , but when it comes right down to it , the responsibility is HERS , and for you to lay there and expect the other partner to do all the work... has me wondering whom is the selfish one

What's she supposed to do? Excuse herself to the other room, get out her bag of tricks, get busy and call him in 2-3 minutes before she's going to get all oooooowwww and ahhhhhh-ie? Geezus! If it's "her" responsibility to get herself to the point of orgasm, men would no longer be needed in a sexual context (well, except for those ladies who have a giving-oral-fetish, and I suppose they could switch teams if it were a "need", give in to the men who they no longer have any other need for, or ignore their innate need to go the oral-giver route.) No one indicated, including this particular OP, that she was just laying there waiting for fireworks. You remind me of my exhusband (by the language in this post.) Long ago, I asked why and his lovely lady had broken up and he said, "The sex. It was all about M***." I literally ROTFLMFAO (yes, in front of him) because he was, without a doubt, the most selfish/lousy/lazy lover I'd personally ever been with. And my guess was that M*** actually wanted more from him than him walking into the room, which meant to him that sex was "all about her." Attitudes such as "It's her responsibility....." show a serious lack of interest/excitement in having a mutually satisfying sex life. VERY few women are capable of the "mind over matter" technique ~ therefor they require a bit more effort from a man than the minority. I've personally never had issues reaching orgasm with even the laziest/lousies of lovers. I HATE receiving oral and I require little to no foreplay in order to be personally satisfied ~ BUT? I am exceptionally lucky in that department and over the years, there have still been more than a couple of men who didn't understand that it isn't about what I can do all on my own, it's about their effort and the fact that they at least try to assist me, rather than to not worry about because they don't need to. And? Most men I've had open/honest communication with about my ease with such things, have been a bit disappointed they weren't fully responsible for my pleasure. So view it as you wish, but don't be too shocked that 99.9% of the female population would group you and your attitude in the "lousy/lazy" love category. JMO
 434handyman
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 75
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:26:45 PM
Sorry I have to disagree that it is a woman's responsibility to cum. If she makes you cum you should cowboy up and return the favor by all means possible unless your six shooter has a hair trigger!
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