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 strawberryrippleicecream
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 76
Lousy loversPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
a good man is hard to find
 14everBlessed2
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 77
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:48:28 PM
why aren't you talking to him and asking and showing him what you like? If he can't handle you asking and showing what you want kick him to the curb . Both partners have to want it to be a good experience for both.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 78
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:50:30 PM

Excuse herself to the other room, get out her bag of tricks, get busy and call him in 2-3 minutes before she's going to get all oooooowwww and ahhhhhh-ie? Geezus! If it's "her" responsibility to get herself to the point of orgasm


It is absolutely her responsibility to reach orgasm, not his , he's her partner to assist and help her
to say its not her responsibility ..is to say I can blame you every time I don't orgasm

And whats wrong with the 'bag of tricks "..? only why does she have to leave the room ..?
Looks like he would have more input if she was laying next to him in bed

My point is ..its easy to blame a partner .. but that doesn't resolve you from a failure

I have been with women that really challenged me to reach orgasm ... but I turned her sideways , upside down
or stuff her in my bareskin rug ..if thats what it took for ME to orgasm
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 79
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 7:16:21 PM
well, let's replace, "lousy lay" with, oh, I don't know, "putting down the toilet seat"

how does a human being go thru 6 decades w/out putting down the toilet seat? b/c it works for him.

how does it work for him? probably b/c no one's introduced him to an alternative...or held him accountable.

now, maybe he was tired out, that's possible. but, if he's a one-pump chump, he exposed himself a while back. maybe it was in his stories, where he exposed himself as a selfish person when it came to doing things for others.
but, it also helps to know the ingredients of good sex. not to talk in abstract terms, but be able to spell out in concrete terms, the creativity, the passion, the sensuality, the consideration, the desire to share, the thrill of learning new things, the urge to be better, etc. when you can define it, you can see it in another person....or know when they lack what it takes.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 80
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 7:52:36 PM

It is absolutely her responsibility to reach orgasm, not his , he's her partner to assist and help her
to say its not her responsibility ..is to say I can blame you every time I don't orgasm

First of all, there are women who NEVER orgasm ~ so to play a blame-game, in some instances, is silly. I personally believe blaming others for most things is silly ~ but it seems a VERY common theme here in these particular forums (and likely in nearly every other venue of life, as well.)

And whats wrong with the 'bag of tricks "..? only why does she have to leave the room ..?
Looks like he would have more input if she was laying next to him in bed

HA! If he's not interested in learning about what works for her without a bag a tricks ~ he's not likely going to want to offer "input" if she does have a bag of tricks. If a man doesn't give a ratz-ass, a toys aren't going to suddenly instill interest. (And because you're not a woman, you're likely not familiar with the insecurities that toys bring out in many many men. Not all men are open to the idea of their partner having artificial assistance ~ for some reason it's insulting to a good many men. Maybe women, too ~ I wouldn't know about that.) (As for what's wrong with a bag of tricks? I wouldn't know. I've never owned anything artificial ~ I just happen to have a load of female friends who are very fond of kissing and telling and none of them find a thing wrong with their night-stand aids, their men on the other hand? By and large ~ HATE them.)

My point is ..its easy to blame a partner .. but that doesn't resolve you from a failure

To me? You're theory is junk. If I'm not satisfying my man to the point of orgasm, I consider my own performance as a "failure" on a few levels. If you don't feel that way ~ fine, but I'd much rather the man in my life KNOW for a fact that I intend to make every effort to trip ALL his triggers than to expect him to finish the job when I tire, or bore, or simply have had enough. I don't care if I do or not, but I most certainly do care if he does.

I have been with women that really challenged me to reach orgasm ... but I turned her sideways , upside down
or stuff her in my bareskin rug ..if thats what it took for ME to orgasm

And there ya go ~ selfish lovers will do whatever it takes to make their own selves happy. As long as it works for you ~ great! If no one on the receiving end of you're turning them into a living-blow-up-doll minds ~ all's good!! JMO
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 81
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:27:00 PM

selfish lovers will do whatever it takes to make their own selves happy.


a lot of pre-concieved ideals you have ...doing whatever it takes to make their own selves happy
does not make a one a selfish lover


If a man doesn't give a ratz-ass, a toys aren't going to suddenly instill interest.

I disagree but..
If you already know what does and doesn't interest him why aren't you using more of what does ??
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 82
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 10:00:40 PM
Wow, Deer rancher....do you assume much??...apparently you have a vendeta with some woman...just wow...buddy if you spent one minute in bed with me you definitely would be kickin yerself in the ass for callin me selfish.....not like it'll ever happen....just wow

ya know I have really been seeing a real pattern of outright MEANESS in these forums lately
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 83
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 10:33:28 PM


It is absolutely her responsibility to reach orgasm, not his ...


You cannot possibly be serious. That's like expecting a violin to play itself.

If it is her responsibility, what are you in her bed for ? ... she can use her Hitachi Magic Wand and not be thrown around like a bag of cement.



I have been with women that really challenged me to reach orgasm ... but I turned her sideways , upside down
or stuff her in my bareskin rug ..if thats what it took for ME to orgasm


I bet she was more concerned about surviving than getting an orgasm. What an unforgettable treat she got.
 natalkah
Joined: 12/3/2012
Msg: 84
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/25/2013 10:58:26 PM
He didn't make love.............he relieved himself!
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 85
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/26/2013 5:14:50 AM
Justlookin....good response...you are so right LOL
 LibertyValance
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 86
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/26/2013 8:11:24 AM
THATS CAUSE MOST WOMEN DONT HAVE A CLUE WHAT THEIR DOING
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 87
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/27/2013 12:26:42 AM

If you already know what does and doesn't interest him why aren't you using more of what does ??

In case it's eluded you ~ this thread isn't about me. It's about a man who's completely ignorant to the concept of making a woman happy to see him when he shows up naked in her bed. As the OP mentioned a few posts back ~ you sure do seem to assume a lot. And like the vast majority of women here? I learned the fine art of revisiting what works when I was about 18. That's really a no-brainer.

THATS CAUSE MOST WOMEN DONT HAVE A CLUE WHAT THEIR DOING

Yeah ~ that's why men are lousy lovers. Women are clueless. I will give you this ~ the internet yelling (the all caps deal) made that comment actually quite funny to read. Like you feel so passionate you had to yell it at the tops of your fingers just in case any of us readers may have missed your opinion.
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 88
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/27/2013 12:42:17 AM
I call em selfish lovers. Honey, you'd be better off with a glass of wine and a new shower head from home depot. Gotta go with a giver in the bedroom...it should be mutual intimacy.
 eattoplease55
Joined: 10/22/2012
Msg: 89
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:17:37 AM
Yep heard of that but without conceit have never done it.....have always been able to give a woman what she likes....foreplay to the hilt and an elusive climax or two or more......love it and so does she....BUT....Ive been with a woman for an extended time that did just what some guys do......HOPING she would pick up....course that never happened......sad
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 90
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/27/2013 5:03:03 AM
Yes, you are right ^^^ it does happen on both sides. I agree that there are women out there who are also duds in bed.

Just because ONE partner is a dud does not mean that most men or most women are lousy lovers.

Liberty, the great thing about posts like this...it brings out all the misogynists. I'm taking notes...LOL
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 91
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/27/2013 5:49:13 AM

If it is her responsibility, what are you in her bed for ? ... she can use her Hitachi Magic Wand and not be thrown around like a bag of cement.


I'm not surprised that you haven't any reading comprehension


he's her partner to assist and help her


OP .. I was in your corner until you stated that you had not had an orgasm with this man
for that , take some responsibility for your own orgasm and take charge in the bedroom
I understand lousy partners, but a part of being "experienced" is knowing how to get the job done
with little or nothing to work with , to this I say .... you failed
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 92
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/27/2013 8:09:09 AM
Some of the women posters on here very quickly run out of anything intelligent to add the thread
and just resort to petty personal attacks

I'm not suggesting the OP keep the dude around , I'd boot her too ... but , she had a part in the failure
and while experience and effort will not overcome everything . The OP's denial of her part in the
failure, is not benificial to continued efforts to be a great lover, and may reflect her overall attitude.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 93
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/27/2013 8:03:17 PM

Never seen the point in saying someone is crap in bed, it takes two to make it fun...if you don't like what he's doing, then tell him. Or better still, show him .

In my opinion.......that is the difference between a good lover and a lousy lover....
a good lover will actually listen to what their partner is telling them....
and a lousy lover just keeps doing what they want.....
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 94
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/28/2013 7:00:37 AM

MsMicki

In my opinion.......that is the difference between a good lover and a lousy lover....
a good lover will actually listen to what their partner is telling them....
and a lousy lover just keeps doing what they want.....


I agree its 1 thing to be bad or in experienced an the person is open an willing to learn different things an willing to learn to give mutual pleasure back as well..

and its another if the bad or in experienced person just wants to go an do things their way regardless even if you have tried talking to them or even wanted them to watch adult movies with you or try an guide them,,

doesnt matter some are just stuck on let me climb on top do my business an leave,,i gotta get mines no matter how quick or bad o well..
 angellight2091
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 95
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/28/2013 10:58:16 AM
Someone let him get away with that for a looong time.... I would be like umm wtf...hellooooo.. there are TWO of us here ya know...
 kathleenm490
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 96
Lousy lovers
Posted: 1/28/2013 11:20:22 AM
Your right tht would be a lousy lover!
 ivegotitgoingon
Joined: 1/20/2013
Msg: 97
Lousy lovers
Posted: 2/1/2013 6:03:57 PM
Bleck! That would be the first and last time I ever shared a bed with him! Thats for darn sure. Although something tells me it would have never even made it that far with me.

Obviously his terrible manners and behaviour has been allowed. Thats why he behaves that way. He has been allowed to and gotten away with it.
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 98
Lousy lovers
Posted: 2/2/2013 11:45:43 AM
^^^ another youngun' that can't read
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 99
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Lousy lovers
Posted: 3/28/2018 2:46:55 AM
Dime a dozen on both sides!
 MadameBoisseau
Joined: 5/11/2017
Msg: 100
Lousy lovers
Posted: 4/2/2018 8:33:12 PM
Only a fourth of women in a sexual relationship orgasm from vaginal penetration - men hate to hear it but let's get very real here: this stat shows how bad many men are in bed.

Men, try to imagine how massively selfish and terrible women would have be in bed if only a quarter of you could orgasm from penetration... Cause that's what's going on with women, and I'm proud to report this stat went up 6 points in my life time - it used to be only 19%...

Why are men so terrible in the sack? Frankly, because women LET them be that way. Women are so busy trying to be "nice", trying to protect the male ego, they are so terrified as coming off as bad that they don't TELL men what they want, DEMAND they put in the work, and be HONEST about if it sucked.

With being said though, you gotta be pretty self absorbed to not realize your woman is not having a good time...
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