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 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 28
Dating a guy who's far better lookingPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I can't really speak to that in my personal experience because I've never been attracted to pretty boys. But I have a girlfriend who's husband is smokin hot and she's only average in the looks department. They get along great and he's always seemed way more into her than she was into him. I think that's their secret.
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 29
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 6:56:49 AM
I honestly can't tell if a guy is good looking or not. Besides i never pay attention to studies. I look at those as a matter of coincendences (forgive my spelling lol) People are destined to click regardless of being hot,good looking,average etc.

In my case, i have better chances of winning the lotto than a super attractive woman giving me a shot.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 30
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 7:08:35 AM
I know some couples where the man is generally considered to be better looking. Some of these men settled. Other men were really happy in these relationships. Perhaps an attractive man dated an average looking woman because they liked her personality, intelligence, and/or they had similiar interests, values and beliefs.
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 32
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 7:37:51 AM
What a load of tripe.....Who conduct's these studies? Two year olds?
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 33
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 7:53:49 AM

What a load of tripe.....Who conduct's these studies? Two year olds?


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200804/why-handsome-men-make-bad-husbands-i
 liv_1971
Joined: 9/21/2012
Msg: 34
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 10:30:38 AM
question, I think of the saying, 'everything has it's beauty, just not everyone sees it.'
There is probably more there in the mind of that partner than just physical looks. And who says what society thinks of as 'good looking' is everyones definition of the same. Most men will search for the woman who makes him feel worthwhile, valued and secure than someone that is good to look at but not good to be with and fails to meet his basic needs.
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 37
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 11:33:29 AM

Fact is men put more stock in looks than women

Totally false. Women put as much stock into looks as men do. Two way street. I never get approached by women IRL, never flirted with or hit on. What does that tell you? Im starting to think some of the posters saying how women only want "models with muscles" might actually be true.


Maybe on the internet

And IRL too. Or.. maybe its just the women around my age that are still into how a guy looks. Maybe 40 years old and up is when they are more open minded
 FairOaksChick
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 38
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 11:45:11 AM
When I have seen a good-looking man with an unattractive wife, almost always the wife's personality is bubbly, social, positive, talkative... and the husband is on the quiet side. And I betcha they met because she approached him, rather than vice versa. When I have seen couples like this, the relationship appears to be happy and stable.
 BoomerWithHumor
Joined: 9/12/2012
Msg: 39
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 12:38:09 PM
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your observation may conclude that the man is much better looking but that man might feel his partner is very attractive. In a good relationship no one is thinking about who is better looking than the other person.
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 41
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 5:10:41 PM
Poster above me made a valid point. While insecurity is discouraged, men have become more into a womans personality. That's love. While women became really visual. I still refuse to belive women aren't as visual as men are per say. Someone with my looks have it hard cause I don't have hunks looks women love. But I'm just speaking of women my age. I'm guessing. When a woman becomes 40,they would be more open minded.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 42
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 5:26:47 PM
Of the very few couples I know with a significant skew (one where most people would agree he is much better looking), the women were extremely smart and confident, and their guy adored them. This is only true of about 3 couples I personally know, however--and I rarely see anyone IRL where the attractivenss issue could easily be resolved/agreed upon by "most" people (b/c of how individualized attraction is).
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 43
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History
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 6:13:46 PM
CaptainA.D, I think I found your problem... in your profile it says you are into breading turtles.

They're better sprinkled with Cajun seasoning and sauteed briefly before adding them to your Jambalaya.
 Keeper_of_Secrets
Joined: 5/16/2012
Msg: 44
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 6:28:37 PM

Studies shows that most couples tend to be similarly rated in terms of looks. Statistics also have show that couples where the woman is better looking tend to be happier than couples where the man is better looking. Not sure if I trust what the stats/studies are trying to prove, but based on my own observations of couples that I know, that seems about right.

What are your observations of couples where the male is far better looking than the female?


Well, my wife is the better looking one out of the two of us.
Red hair, the bluest eyes I have ever seen.
Legs that just don't quit.
Tall and thin...
*tee hee*

Me, ugh... ugly as sin.

But we are happy and have been together for over 20 years.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 45
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 6:44:19 PM

I'll give it up to the author, he basically says it plain that ugly men need to take what they can get - Which is probably true. Not politically correct, but true.

Unfortunately a liberal feminist leaning site like that would never ever say that ugly women ( to basic social standards) need to take what they can get too. That would be just too offensive for women to hear, even if it's probably also true.

Sad as I think it is, I have to agree.

The big difference I see is this. Most women out there will check to see if an ugly man has money first or can do something for her before she treats him like garbage. I think most men will always see average to a little less than average women as still useful for sex, and thus are less generally dismissive. I think both sides are very shallow, I just think many women believe they are less shallow than men because there is a broader spectrum of materialism that will entice many of them, and somehow they warp that into thinking it makes them the more understanding and enlightened gender.

I hate to admit it, but this has a definite ring of truth to it as well. While I’m not certain how anyone can “check to see…” if someone has money, it likely is a fine art to some people (men as well as women.)

PS This different people like different looks thing I think is bogus. Most people operate against a baseline relative to their age bracket and opportunity. Of course a guy in his mid 50s is going to think looks are less of an issue, they are at that age.

Nope!!!! Appearance is, indeed, beyond subjective. I think my SO is absolutely drop-dead-handsome. This doesn’t mean ALL of my friends/or other women would agree. And I rarely see my friend’s spouses/husbands/BFs/brothers/etc., as good looking. Doesn’t mean they aren’t ~ just means they aren’t in my eyes. And I have to vehemently disagree about older men viewing appearance as less of an issue. I had NO clue just how important appearance is to older men, until the “older” men started approaching me. I have read/heard more comments/questions about my own physical appearance by those nearing 50 (or 50+) than I’ve ever read/heard from men younger than myself (even a wee bit younger.) I don’t have a clue why this is, but it’s a fact that was loud and clear when I was single and open to meeting/dating. I found most of it off-putting at best, at worst? Downright messed up. Maybe they were only being that inquisitive and/or crass with me, but I doubt that!! JMO
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 46
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 7:30:20 PM
This all begets the point. Past 50, most people are not all that attractive. Even those who were once very good looking revert down to average, while those really bad looking when young, revert upwards to average. There is far less a deviation in looks between people over 50 than under thirty. Sadly, I do think women take better care of themselves than guys. At my 20 year high school reunion, many of the guys looked pretty fat, many were balding . . the formerly great looking guys not so great looking. Many of the women however looked even better than they did at eighteen. But now in their fifties, these women too have gotten old and fat. Their necks rapidly showing their age, their skin wrinkled more than the guys. The stunners among them are far, far fewer. So ugly guys at an older age have a much better chance of dating that once great looking gal than they did when they were both young.
 Still_Dreaming_in_sc
Joined: 9/10/2012
Msg: 47
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 7:53:51 PM

In fact, I think that dudes who marry unattractive women know from the get go that they are going to run around. They hook up with a woman who can cook and keep house, then they run the streets at night. That's the awful truth.


IN FACT???? what facts... I have no clue what twisted world or social culture you live in but the one I live in does not tie how someone looks with their moral convictions or weather or not they are monogamous.

I would think that should be common sense that stating that if someone is visually pleasing then that means they will be a cheater is just hog wash. The 2 things are completely unrelated in the human social environment.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 48
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 8:01:50 PM
Studies are usually conducted to promote a product or ideology, many are more than informal surveys and serve no other purpose than for someone to sell a book or magazine article. (I don't write that crap.....ugh).

You have to research the organization or individual who sponsored the study, just doing that is often mind-blowing. For any SERIOUS studies, look to the professional journals, those are scientifically conducted and well documented.

Anything else isn't worth wasting a brain cell reading.

NOW, if I saw a couple where the man was better looking, what would I think? Well I'd think it wouldn't be a problem unless it was important to the woman and made her insecure.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 50
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 8:19:57 PM
"Not everyone thinks who the masses consider beautiful is attractive to everyone."

Naw....REALLY? Sheesh what study did you get that from? *giggle*

Okay, seriously, I don't agree with everyone else on the attractiveness of individual women OR men.
 ArticLife
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 51
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History
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/5/2012 2:48:50 AM
Usually I chalk it down to the cliche "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

Honestly, I doubt there is anyone on earth who doesn't have at least one other human being who would find them attractive enough to date.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 52
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/5/2012 4:39:09 AM
Women will marry men that are not so good looking if they have other things going on or dont have much choice, we are not so hung up on the physical as men. A good looking man with no money for example may marry a plainer woman who has more assets. However I would be more comfortable with someone equal to me in looks and status.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 53
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/5/2012 6:27:13 AM

Most women aren't nearly as shallow as men when it comes to looks.


In general, women care about looks just as much as men do. Many women need to find something about a man that is physically appealing to them. It could be height, broad shoulders, smile etc. When a woman dates that she isn't physically attracted to, it is often because of money or social status.
 Midwest_Southwest
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 54
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/5/2012 8:45:54 AM
From what I’ve seen, when there is a great disparity in any significant trait, it has to be offset by other strengths. I’ve seen plain looking people with extremely attractive partners, but always the plain looking person has some asset(s) that balance things. That’s true for men and women- gorgeous woman with plain or unattractive guy, gorgeous guy with plain or unattractive woman.

I agree with the posts that say that insecurity has a great deal to do with the give and take in a relationship. I think that realism and appreciation also do, but that might be a function of security/insecurity. People who don’t realize and appreciate what they and the other person bring to a relationship, what they get and what they give, have problems in relationships no matter what. I've seen lots of men in their 50's and 60's who have dated or married gorgeous (often younger) women and then later express frustration that their mate wasn't stimulating or satisfying other than sexually or visually-they lost their appreciation of the traits that their mate brought to the relationship. Regardless of gender, you gotta appreciate what that other person offers and gives.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 55
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/5/2012 10:59:19 AM
It makes sense to me. Men are visual, women seek security. Both a biological based, so if those needs are met, it could lead to increased happiness.
 stayinalivefl
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 56
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/5/2012 11:40:52 AM
If they date long enough they start looking alike,,,,lol.
One guy on my job used to say,,"Betsy is Marty w/o a mustache...."


 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 57
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/5/2012 12:11:47 PM

we are not so hung up on the physical as men

False, it leans towards vice versa. Men aren't hung up on look much as women, im dateless, so its proof
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