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 AUTHOR
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 42
Gift Advice NeededPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Two words come to mind reading the posts: Sugar Daddy. You, OP, is wining and dining her and picking up the tab each time, wanting to buy her gifts and she isn't resisting these gestures very much-just the customary: "Ahh, you shouldn't have" (But I'll take it anyways). She wants to go the "Platonic Friends First" route until she decides when it's time to move to the next level and officially become boyfriend and girlfriend-if there is a next level with you. In the meantime, she wants you to be exclusive. She's afraid that if you were to date others and start wining and dining other women, you could get into a real relationship without having to go through with the Platonic Friends First route and she would loose out on the freebies. If she really wanted to go the "Friends First' route, she should be picking up the tab at times when you two go out, or go dutch treat. Do you pick up the tab every time you go out with male friends?
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 43
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/12/2012 11:56:29 AM
Her: I will only accept it if we go together. Let's set it up for Sunday.


^^^^
She suggested exactly what I would have suggested.
This is very fair and actually quite considerate of her. She's including you. This is a great idea and you should take her up on it. (If you haven't already)

Regardless of how the relationship goes and how she turns out to be, as long as you two are mutually respectful, communicative and like each others' company, just enjoy your time together.
Life is too short.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 44
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History
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/12/2012 1:57:37 PM


Thanks again for all the advice, and RedDel, I have not thought, for one second, that anything you have said can be construed as mean. I appreciate your candor and value all the thoughtful posts

Good deal, Dan. I have put a good amount of effort into your topic. Why? Because I can relate. I've been in your situation a few times in my life. Where I was clearly more interested in a woman that she was in me. And without fail, I'm the one that ended up hurt with pie in my face. It's a dangerous and scary place to be. Be careful.
 missraven1
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 45
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/12/2012 2:07:15 PM

Gifting a woman before sex backfires and repels women more often than not........... So why do it? Play the odds correctly.

Of course it will "backfire" when you do it with the wrong frame of mind. Like the OP seems fully aware of, you never give a gift or do a favour for anyone for anything other than the pleasure you get from the giving in and of itself. Doing so with ulterior motives, to subliminally influence a supposed giftee into giving a guy what he wants, means it doesn't even count as a gift!!.....Since when did giving from the heart turn into playing the odds... Yes, like others, I don't agree that the OP should gift exorbitantly so early in his yet-to-form relationship.



gift (gft)
n.
1. Something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/gift
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/12/2012 8:28:50 PM


Of course it will "backfire" when you do it with the wrong frame of mind. Like the OP seems fully aware of, you never give a gift or do a favour for anyone for anything other than the pleasure you get from the giving in and of itself. Doing so with ulterior motives, to subliminally influence a supposed giftee into giving a guy what he wants, means it doesn't even count as a gift!!.....Since when did giving from the heart turn into playing the odds... Yes, like others, I don't agree that the OP should gift exorbitantly so early in his yet-to-form relationship.


Good grief, Raven. Let's nit pick this to death. Shall we? You go first. Lol
 dandan7979
Joined: 9/29/2012
Msg: 47
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 4/11/2013 12:59:16 PM
I know it has been a while, but I thought I would give an update, given that I posted this at the very beginning of my relationship with this girl.

It has now been about 6 months and things are going great. We became "exclusive" over Thanksgiving weekend. My family came out to visit, and our families spent the holiday together. It worked out great, as my family adores her, her family loves me (although they had met me before, as they are local) and our families really liked each other.

In the 6 months we have been dating, this has been by far the best relationship I have ever been on. It is a very matuure relationship with great communication, absolutely no jealously or game playing, and a level of maturity that, quite frankly, I had started to doubt even existed.

One thing we have both discussed is that we are happy we met each other when we did (she is 31, I am 33). We both agree that, had we met earlier, we would not have had the maturity that we now have. We both firmly believe that all the B.S. we went through in the past was worth it.

Anyway, just wanted to provide a "feel good" story to everyone out there. If you keep your head up and stay in the game, good things can happen.

Good luck to everyone.
 turnitover1959
Joined: 2/15/2013
Msg: 48
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 4/11/2013 1:51:08 PM
Ask her first if she would like to go. That way you aren't really pressuring her. I like to buy nice gifts too but some women are turned off if they think it is too soon. I know there are ladies who like getting gifts but some are not impressed at all. Its more in how you treat them. Good Luck.
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 49
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:50:14 PM
Ohh they have had sex, for sure....he wants to be committed and is mad about her and wants to please her but I agree it is too substantial a gift at this stage.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 50
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 4/11/2013 6:15:46 PM
Definitely too much too soon. Very thoughtful, though, and it is something to hold onto as an idea when you are futher into the relationship--exclusive and a "special event" type gift. Or, just spend the money on something you want to do and invite her along. Really, a good woman does not need to be treated like a princess (even if you want to treat her that way). A really good woman values your time with her more than anything else.

Or, if you *really* feel the need to be generous, my mailing address is. . . :)
 Insanity_Inc
Joined: 2/9/2013
Msg: 51
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 4/11/2013 7:54:26 PM
I'm so glad to hear that everything is going well. I read the entire thread because I wanted to see if you would enter an update. Thank you :)
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 52
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/21/2013 1:00:33 PM
I'm in a pickle myself with gift giving. I've been met up about 5 times and her bday is coming. We've not gone official yet. I want her get her something simple and thoughtful. Some folks have told me:

Gift Cards to her favorite stores
Lotion
Perfume
DVDs

What's the consensus?
 Archiver
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 53
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/21/2013 7:37:36 PM
^^^ Those are safe gifts so early in a relationship.
 RoaminIrish
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 54
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/26/2013 10:52:50 AM
It's done and over, and OP was happily at the 6 month mark last time he posted--in April.

I was going to suggest he surprise here with a couples' massage date, so I'm glad to see that's what actually happened.

Ah, ya gotta love the success stories! (well, the ones that end on POF in success, 'cause lord knows what happens after that!)
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