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 Princess12524
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 297
About leagues. . .Page 12 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

First, an average "Uncle Fester" type man approaching an attractive female doesn't indicate he's only looking for a one night stand.


I am going to add my 2 cents & use concepts I do not necessarily like for purposes of "illustration" only...

80% of the men on any given dating site (mainly average to below average in looks etc.) will pursue what they think is the "top" 20% of the women on the site (think 8's, 9's & 10's for arguement's sake) So that 20% gets deluged by men that even their ugly friends wouldn't want to go out with. They get disgusted & feel like they are getting mobbed by papparazzi...regardless of the man's intentions.

The 80% (esp. the Uncle Festers) get pi$$y...some keep trying for the cream of the crop, some give up, some get a reality dose & adjust their sites accordingly for a woman on their level.

The 8's, 9's & 10's of both genders find eachother & leave the other 80% to duke it out.

I apologize if my simplistic labels are offensive, I used them only for purposes of illustrating my point.
 razors_edge55
Joined: 11/25/2013
Msg: 298
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History
About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/24/2014 3:32:54 PM
Yes it's all about looks , then you Wonder why you are not happy . money and looks will only buy enough drugs to make you feel happy ,for a time .
your whole post makes me glad I left the US, And as few people here seem to ever get "a date" it's should not be called a date site ,IMO ,
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 299
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History
About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/24/2014 4:46:53 PM
“Nobody blinks when someone who dropped out of high school is told that they can't operate on someone. Or someone who barely does their job is told they aren't getting a promotion.”

These examples are completely quantifiable by scientific means, unlike physical attraction, which is borderline inexplicable. God knows how many threads there are on this site (heck, posts in THIS thread) in which women stated they couldn’t explain why they found this one guy attractive that none of her friends found attractive, or this other guy unattractive that all her friends thought was hot stuff. Pretty much every scientific study on attractive facial features has resulted in an inconclusive mess, hypothesizing about “raised cheekbones” and “prominent brows” and other things no one consciously thinks about or would ever list as “must haves” on their dating profile.

There is really no way to know how physically attractive you are except through experience. You can’t compare yourself to famous people or the people who date famous people. Some people became famous because they are nearly universally attractive, but most famous people became famous for other reasons entirely and then afterwards, simply being famous made them more attractive than other people with similar physical attributes.

“The best thing a man can do is get shot down by attractive women so he starts to realize he has things he needs to work on. I can agree that it's stupid for men to put zero effort into self improvement and keep chasing the same women.”

Despite the fact that they’re all high-fiving one another over NDTfan’s post, they don’t seem to be in agreement about this aspect. The one direct response to my post strongly suggested no amount of “self-improvement” would make some men more romantically desirable to a woman (I am living proof of that truth – nothing I have ever done or accomplished has led to a date; for example, only one woman that’s dated me knew how muscular I was beforehand, yet none of the women I’ve met who did know beforehand would date me, so arguably there was never really a point in all those years of competitive powerlifting if it was to get dates; and no one I’ve ever dated had a college degree or cared that I did, so that “improvement” has contributed none to my dating [important note on that: I never dated in high school or college]). I’m not necessarily saying it’s a mixed message – it’s undoubtedly all dependent on what it is that’s making the men undesirable, and who the woman is that’s declaring those traits to be undesirable. Which again leads to my original point: determining one’s “league” is rarely as simple as many people in this thread are making it out to be.

“In my experience it's not really a matter of men or women THINKING they are all that, but more related to the responses and attention they receive online and in real life.”

This is the post I’ll be slapping on the back instead of NDTfan’s post. There are certainly plenty of deluded people in this world, but if some overweight, Dan Fogler-looking, dimwitted guy with a high school education and no job is getting a 50% response rate from all his supermodel first contacts and his inbox is always blowing up from supermodels contacting him first, then who are we to question his delusion? On the other hand, that’s most likely not the guy who’s making whiny posts, so that’s not who NDTfan is talking about. Yet, he looks and sounds exactly like the guy NDTfan is talking about, despite his success suggesting otherwise. What league’s this guy in?

Quite frankly, if I followed NDTfan’s philosophy here, I would only be messaging tall, obese, high school dropout, welfare mothers, because they are my “equivalent” as the least desirable women. One’s equivalent isn’t the same thing as one’s direct counterpart because what’s desirable/valued in men isn’t necessarily desirable/valued in women. My direct counterpart would be an intelligent, college-educated, short, childless, athletic woman with a good career, but I’ve never dated such a woman – I’ve never even had any legitimate interest from one that I’m aware of. I’ve been on here 7 years and only twice has a woman with a college degree contacted me. See, that woman I just described is essentially the most desirable woman that exists, so most guys want her and she can just pick whichever she wants. But she’s not very likely going to pick her male counterpart because her male counterpart is not the most desirable man that exists – in fact, he is one of the LEAST desirable men that exists. Rather, she’s going with the intelligent, college-educated, tall, childless, athletic man with a good career.

So that’s where that philosophy is all screwed up: it’s not taking into consideration that men and women desire different things from one another. How many voluptuous women want a “voluptuous” man? Yet voluptuous women are up there with athletic women on men’s preference lists. Many of these same men could care less if a beautiful voluptuous woman has a college degree or impressive career, even if they do have those things, yet to college-educated career-oriented women, it’s usually extremely important that their men have college degrees and impressive careers. God knows how many relationships there are in which the man’s interests are football and hunting while the woman prefers ballet and fashion (but wouldn’t have anything to do with a supposedly heterosexual man whose interests were ballet and fashion).

And one’s idealism about this doesn’t matter – statistics will just obliterate your idealism. There is not a lid for every pot under these circumstances. If the man has to be taller than the woman (which is the philosophy of the vast majority of women), what happens when most of the short women choose most of the tall men? Where does this leave the short men and the tall women? Although plenty of women like football, there are still far more male football fans, so what happens for the remaining football-loving males when all the football-loving females choose the football-loving males they want?

This “everybody should date someone similar” philosophy doesn’t just not work out because people are individuals and can do what they want regardless of what society is telling them – it’s also a matter of, statistically, it is impossible given the unequal amounts of certain traits in one gender vs. the other. A large percentage of people are going to have to date people who aren’t their direct counterparts or else a large percentage of people are going to be alone.

Welcome to alone.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 300
About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/24/2014 6:31:45 PM

NDT I totally agree with you. The entitlement of men gets really OLD . . .


:D


If you're ever in NYC, we're knocking down a drink or two.. It seems we got stories for days.


Likewise if you're ever in Newfoundland. :D


OMFG! I have been in the pof forums for almost 10 years? I have got to say, hands down, this is probably the BEST post I ever read! And it applies to both genders- the self-delusional entitlement men AND WOMEN!


Jeez b'ys! If you keep this up I'll be even more conceited than I am :P


First, an average "Uncle Fester" type man approaching an attractive female doesn't indicate he's only looking for a one night stand.


Who said he was looking for a one night stand? I said he's looking to f*ck her. Whether or not he does that in the context of a relationship is beside the point. You are never going to convince me, a woman who has almost 25 years experience with fending off sexual advances, that most men's first, second, or even third thought when he sees an attractive woman is how smart she must be and how beautiful she'll look on their golden anniversary. Men (in general) don't actively LOOK for relationships.

It's a man's version of a fairy tale. That some buxom (but still HW proportionate) 20 year old virginal cooking, cleaning creature who is soft spoken and so enamored of his mediocre sexual prowess that she puts all of her hopes, dreams, wants and needs aside for him. One of those very rare woman who believe that his pregnant belly, and spindly legs, flaccid penis, and extra 40 years on him is so attractive that she squirts for him with just a touch.

It ain't happening, and I don't care if your uncle's brother's shop teacher's best friend's grandfather found some chick 20 years younger than he s. He's more than likely the first man in her life that actually treated her like he WANTED her to like him. Because most modern men won't even "put out" for so much as a coffee without acting like she should treat him like a god in return.

FFS, just today, I brought doughnuts to work, gave a busker trying to get enough money for a ticket back to BC a 10 dollar bill and bought a gift card for the girl who works at the place I buy lunch.... she actually bought a bottle of my favourite sauce ( they discontinued carrying it) and is keeping it in the fridge specifically for me. I don't expect accolades and I damn well don't intend to badger them compliance because I feel they owe me.


Let's be realistic. If a guy is out of touch about what kind of girl he can get, of course he's going to chase girls that naturally appeal to him.


Sure he will, but he'd better not get butthurt and lash out at her and then start whining to everyone if she finds the idea of having sex with him so utterly ridiculous that she bursts out into nervous laughter. Or if she sprints away. Or if she mumbles an excuse. He started it, he is solely responsible for how the interaction turns out.

There's a 400 pound man I work with who smells so bad that they literally had to throw out his chair when he switched offices that has a crush on me. Every time he comes to talk to me I have to fight the urge to throw up and people who walk by minutes after he leaves are all "Sweet baby Jesus, WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!?!". He pisses and moans about how hard it is for him to be single as he throws hints. I'm sure if he took regular showers, dropped some weight, and didn't complain all the time he could get a date with one of the overweight ladies at work who never get asked out by anyone.

But no, someone JUST like him isn't good enough for HIM. There's a disconnect there, and it seems that a lot of men are suffering from it.


I don't know why this would make women trust men less.


It's because we're not stupid enough to believe that the guy who sees us walking down the road is basing his advance on ANYTHING other than how sexually appealing he finds us. Duh, he doesn't KNOW anything but that about us. And when it gets to the point where the ONLY interactions we have with men become sexual advances we don't feel like people, we feel like things. Nobody wants to feel like a thing.

Out of curiosity, if every single woman you spoke to could only coo and hint about your wallet, over and over, for years, wouldn't you start to assume that MOST (if not all of them) are nothing but golddiggers? Well, when every single interaction with men involves ogling, or inviting themselves to your house in the middle of the night, or leering and licking their lips, or making comments about your body; you start to mistrust them. You don't honestly think that the horn dogs filling up our inboxes with perverted remarks are limiting themselves to messing with women online, do you?

Ditto for when they're nice to you at first, and then get mean and nasty. You wouldn't turn that quickly on someone you actually like... that you think is a person who has every right to turn you down as you have to ask. She was just a means to an end, and is responsible for your hurt feelings and blue balls.

I can tell almost instantly what a man's intentions are when he starts approaching. Anything less than looking at my face with a genuine smile on his , anything less than small talk or mutual interests, any talk of my looks or my body, how horny he is or how he had to dump some chick because she cut him off sexually and he's written off instantly. It's not my fault that the vast majority of men I encounter can't seem to manage it.


Who calls it this? I don't call it conforming or pandering and I doubt anyone with brains would call it that either.


It's all over the f*cking place. Look at all the bare minimum beta males posting in the profile review section who get angry at suggestions and insist that they shouldn't have to change ... there's one there who said that he's who he is and won't change just to get the sex that "everyone else is getting for free". For FREE.... as if it's something that should be just given to him so he won't feel left out. He's not interested in being attractive enough for a female to WANT to sleep with him, he assumes that we should be because women should be "nice" (which he defines as being so easy going that she agrees to anything he wants from her)

Or the men who insist that because feminism exists, he'll let doors slam in a chick's face and he'll be f*cked if he's going to buy her a coffee. That's not a guy who is trying to prove to a woman that he's worth opening herself up for (seewhatIdidthere?)... it's a guy with a chip on his shoulder who thinks that the worst thing that has ever happened is for those uppity woman to be "allowed" to have standards.

Don't make the mistake of believing that the fairy tale you've cooked up in your head that all (if not most) men just love women to pieces and can't wait to make one of them his missus. You don't date men, you don't sleep with them and you sure as f*ck don't get attitude from them because you didn't jump in delight at the idea of getting naked with one of them.


“The best thing a man can do is get shot down by attractive women so he starts to realize he has things he needs to work on. I can agree that it's stupid for men to put zero effort into self improvement and keep chasing the same women.”


But they're not doing that. They're chasing the same women for years, getting more and more bitter, more and more angry, and make more and more of a nuisance of themselves..... blasting women for being too stuck up, too unrealistic, too *insert angry stereotype here* because they have the nerve to believe they deserve more than an erection. How dare we insist that we be with someone who makes us happy, when the guys in question really doesn't give a shit if we're happy or not (and it shows by the behavior).


it’s not taking into consideration that men and women desire different things from one another.


Yeah, men desire women they feel are f*ckable and who will "take care of them" sexually and otherwise. Women want men who make them feel desirable (not only as sexual playtoys but as people) and be nice/fun to be around.

So where do the men who insist that only a f*ckable, will take care of them woman will do, but are completely unwilling/unable to make a woman feel desirable and have the personality of a wet paper bag fit in? I guess we know. They're part of the group that will blame feminism, women, shallowness, anything and everything but the fact that they've got nothing going for them but the same thing about 49% of the population were born with. Because they feel that should be enough, and hate women because it isn't.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 301
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About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/24/2014 9:51:36 PM

It's a man's version of a fairy tale. Because most modern men won't even "put out" for so much as a coffee without acting like she should treat him like a god in return.


It's appropriate that you brought up fairy tales. Everything you've said is completely made up and out of touch with reality. Do you have any evidence that most modern men won't even buy a woman coffee? Maybe that's something you've experienced because they won't buy you coffee, but where are the facts? All I see is fabricated and imaginary "facts and figures."


But no, someone JUST like him isn't good enough for HIM. There's a disconnect there, and it seems that a lot of men are suffering from it.


A lot of men AND women suffering from it you mean. It's not unique to men.


Ditto for when they're nice to you at first, and then get mean and nasty. You wouldn't turn that quickly on someone you actually like... that you think is a person who has every right to turn you down as you have to ask. She was just a means to an end, and is responsible for your hurt feelings and blue balls.


Men go through the same thing regularly with women. The things you're talking about aren't unique to women. A woman told me off because I said I like to date slim, athletic women. I guess I was just a means to an end for her.


It's all over the f*cking place. Look at all the bare minimum beta males posting in the profile review section who get angry at suggestions and insist that they shouldn't have to change ... there's one there who said that he's who he is and won't change just to get the sex that "everyone else is getting for free".


It's not the norm when it's only a few individuals on a message board complaining about it. I don't think a few "bare minumum beta males" represent what's normal for the whole male popluation.


Don't make the mistake of believing that the fairy tale you've cooked up in your head that all (if not most) men just love women to pieces and can't wait to make one of them his missus. You don't date men, you don't sleep with them and you sure as f*ck don't get attitude from them because you didn't jump in delight at the idea of getting naked with one of them.


It's not a "fairy tale". I just don't believe your imaginary statistics. If I'm unaware of what men do because I don't sleep with men, does that men you're unaware of what women do? You don't think men get attitude from women too?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 302
About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/25/2014 11:07:39 AM
1)physical attraction can be scientifically discovered, tests of subjects choosing random photos of strangers tend to agree on which ones are hot, and which ones are attractive, and which ones are average. Even the old "hot or not", when it used to tell you what number other people had given the photo you had just judged, showed that. It may not have 100% repeatablility, but if you win at the track only a majority of the time...do you still play?

i've known a few hot women who went after the guy who was physically hot...but when they went after a different guy who wasn't, THAT was the scenario everyone noticed. It was so unusual, it stuck out in their head. Yet if they had interviewed my friends, they would have found out why she went w/ the guy who was out of her league. The attraction wasn't in her groin, it was in her head--she wanted not so much a guy, but a conquest. She wanted the guy she couldn't have. usually that was the hot guy who could get a woman who wasn't so much of a mess as they were, but sometimes...it was the guy who wasn't that hot, either.

2)you can know how attractive you are--compare yourself to people who are attractive. its how we learn everything as kids--are our daddies as rich as the other kids' daddies? well, lets look at the cars driven, houses lived in, vacations gone on, etc. if we didn't compare ourselves constantly, "haters" would never exist--we wouldn't need jealousy. but in the end, we know for sure we are by our success rate--when we walk into a room, do we get ignored or not?

3)men only find they have something they need to work on...when it fails to work on anyone. so long as there's someone to put up w/ your BS, you'll keep using what works.

4)I've met quite a few men who were 7's--I can judge that easily by their ability to get dates--who thought they weren't "all that" b/c they couldn't attract 10's. but they could attract the women other men would have loved to have been with. its like asking the middle class man who isn't living from paycheck to paycheck, "does money matter?" his answer is different from the man without clean drinking water or a roof over his head.

5)everyone wants different things from a relationship. some want the thrill of a conquest--that's the league they play in. a guy who isn't a conquest, won't attract them. interest them, maybe if he's hot. but not attract him--he isn't what they're looking for.

a woman born with perfect genes, who chooses clothes that show off her body b/c she knows from modeling that her body makes her money, and she's learned from experience that she can reduce the annoyances of life when men run to take care of them for her, and eats only the foods that makes her skin glow...doesn't date Mr.Average. She may become best friends with him, b/c that's what he has to offer to her. but if she believes looks are everything, then...they are. they are a sign of success, just as many of us look at the rich man and think he must be a success.

if you don't like what NDT had say, well...guess what? you just found out you aren't in her league. its just that simple. just as its simple for you to go find someone who is.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 303
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About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/25/2014 3:57:36 PM

i've known a few hot women who went after the guy who was physically hot...but when they went after a different guy who wasn't, THAT was the scenario everyone noticed. It was so unusual, it stuck out in their head. Yet if they had interviewed my friends, they would have found out why she went w/ the guy who was out of her league. The attraction wasn't in her groin, it was in her head--she wanted not so much a guy, but a conquest. She wanted the guy she couldn't have. usually that was the hot guy who could get a woman who wasn't so much of a mess as they were, but sometimes...it was the guy who wasn't that hot, either.


It shouldn't be unusual at all. Men and women have different attraction triggers. That's why you can date people in so called "higher" leagues by changing your attitude and lifestyle for the better.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 304
About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/26/2014 7:58:48 AM
Changing one's attitude doesn't make the impossible happen. No matter how much I want to flap my arms and fly, my bones aren't hollow like the birds in order to reduce my mass enough to allow it to occur. thinking I'm in league with someone who lives their life totally different than I do, won't make them change their mind. I'm not running around the world like Bill Gates or Bono b/c no one's going to listen to my ideas as much as they will listen to the ideas of BC or Bono. changing my attitude won't make it so--people listen to BC b/c he's got the cash to back up what he says.

The leagues we refer to in this post exist for the simple fact of procreation--if the weak seed the strong, then the offspring is weakened. If the strong survive, they do so by procreating with like members of their species. Its just a scientific fact. we're all attracted to what makes us feel good. if we think wealth is a sign of strength and status, that's what attracts us. if we think looks are important, followed by personality ("I need someone who gives me an erection and I can deal with"), then that's what we gravitate towards.

Our problem is seeing leagues as a bad thing. "oh no, I can't convince that b1tchy girl to sleep with me, she keeps thinking I'm not in her league." so what? there's plenty of other women out there. If a woman thinks looks are important and I don't, then getting her doesn't do me any favors--we conduct our lives differently, b/c we believe in different goals. her looking good on my arm, won't matter to me b/c I don't think looks are all that important.

I've chased enough women who weren't in my league--they lived the drug life, the thug life, the princess life, their body was a temple, etc--to know my attitude and my lifestyle wasn't the issue. YMMV, and good for you if it does. I've seen those women go after hot guys who weren't "in their league", with mixed results.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 305
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About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/26/2014 3:21:02 PM

Changing one's attitude doesn't make the impossible happen. No matter how much I want to flap my arms and fly, my bones aren't hollow like the birds in order to reduce my mass enough to allow it to occur. thinking I'm in league with someone who lives their life totally different than I do, won't make them change their mind. I'm not running around the world like Bill Gates or Bono b/c no one's going to listen to my ideas as much as they will listen to the ideas of BC or Bono. changing my attitude won't make it so--people listen to BC b/c he's got the cash to back up what he says.


Changing your attitude won't make the impossible happen, but it's not impossible to date people better that are better looking. The big shift in attitude is when you stop depending on other people to feel good by accepting you or approving of you.


I've chased enough women who weren't in my league--they lived the drug life, the thug life, the princess life, their body was a temple, etc--to know my attitude and my lifestyle wasn't the issue. YMMV, and good for you if it does. I've seen those women go after hot guys who weren't "in their league", with mixed results.


That's a good point. There are a lot of people who appear to be in a higher league because they have the look or they have lots of friends. However, they're doing drugs all the time or blowing their money on stupid things. A relationship has to be based on similar goals and lifestyles.
 razors_edge55
Joined: 11/25/2013
Msg: 306
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About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/27/2014 12:11:10 PM
I have to say if they sent you a message and you think they look like "uncle fester ,",maybe they think you look like "Morticia". ;p
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 307
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About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/28/2014 7:30:51 AM
NDT...Nice, I love the honesty!! So many women here walk on eggshells when posting about who they will or will not date. They do not want to come across as shallow. Why is it shallow to have standards when is comes to looks? Standards for education, that's ok, standards for political affiliation, that's ok, hell it seems to be ok to target a specific race or religions but to say someone is just not attractive brings down the wrath of almost every rejected male that has ever logged on to the forums. Some guy will tell them that dating someone because of the way they look will not make them happy. That may be but what I know for sure is I wont be happy walking around with someone that I don't find attractive. Let's face it guys, looks matter, I as a guy am sick of the mister nice guy bullsh1t.

Look in the mirror, be realistic and adjust accordingly. Stop being angry because you were dealt cards that you are not happy about. Don't blame the attractive POF'er for telling you what you already know.
 razors_edge55
Joined: 11/25/2013
Msg: 308
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About leagues. . .
Posted: 2/28/2014 3:28:40 PM
We are all so much more than what we look like , we have no control as to how we look when we are born , none
we only control what's in are hearts , what we have in our power to give to another .
I just saw a show (tv) where a guy does so many bad things to look the way a girl he is messaging thinks he looks like , and at the end , she is blind , and fell in love with him from there words they shared , not at all for his looks ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,all I can say say is we must all dig deeper
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 309
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/5/2014 8:24:25 AM

It's very amusing all the men stating looks don't matter. What planet do you think a majority of women come from or you that you think the female gender is so stupid that we'll buy your B.S.? All of you care about looks, stop lying your nose is growing.


For sex, yes, it's all about looks.

But both men and women eventually hit a point where it's time to grow up. You start looking for completely different things. Like, right now, I'm looking for the kind of girl I could potentially start a family with. No matter what she looks like, if it seems like a dead-end, I'm not pursuing it. I'm not going to try to spend the rest of my life with a terrible person who talks down to everyone and treats me like crap just because she's insanely hot. I'll happily take someone that's less attractive that has all the other things I'm looking for.

Again, physical attraction matters, nobody can deny that, but when we're done acting like highschool kids and we're ready to grow up, that attraction isn't as important as it used to be. The problem is that men typically hit that point before women... Which leads to posts like yours.
 Westernguy
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 310
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/5/2014 8:40:44 AM

Again, physical attraction matters, nobody can deny that, but when we're done acting like highschool kids and we're ready to grow up, that attraction isn't as important as it used to be.


Well said !

But I think a lot of women believe that most or perhaps ALL men never grow up in this way ?




Westernguy
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 311
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History
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/5/2014 9:53:59 AM
I recall reading, “Women pick for a mate the man who is the best provider that they are willing to have sex with.”

I suppose the corollary for men would be, “Men pick for a mate the most agreeable, most pleasant woman that also makes them feel sexual excitement.”

The underlying point is, when you “grow up”, and you’re looking for a “life partner” instead of just a “sex partner”, your priorities do change. But the one you’re searching for must still meet that minimum standard of “Would I like to have sex with him/her?”
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 312
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/5/2014 10:13:05 AM
^^^^^
Totally agree.
 Princess12524
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 313
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/5/2014 2:52:41 PM

The underlying point is, when you “grow up”, and you’re looking for a “life partner” instead of just a “sex partner”, your priorities do change. But the one you’re searching for must still meet that minimum standard of “Would I like to have sex with him/her?”
Looks are NOT the only thing we look for, BUT the first thing we look for- there still has to be some sort of attraction.
 ZoopCoop
Joined: 2/5/2014
Msg: 314
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/5/2014 4:39:03 PM
3 different research papers indicates that 67% to 76% of woman respond to a message from a man based solely on his profile picture. Regardless what we want to believe about leagues or looking at other factors research and data points illustrates that looks is the only thing that matters in Online dating. In the real world other factors are far more important than looks but that is not the case in online dating.
 Ilovechristmas25
Joined: 1/21/2014
Msg: 315
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/6/2014 12:15:33 PM
I'm glad you've actually talked yourself into that. I live in reality and if some guy isn't attractive to me the last thing I want to do is imagine a moment more intimate with him.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 316
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/6/2014 10:27:55 PM

I'm glad you've actually talked yourself into that. I live in reality and if some guy isn't attractive to me the last thing I want to do is imagine a moment more intimate with him.


A weird thing, though, about attraction. You can think a guy looks terrible, but after getting to know him, you can't wait to get in bed with him.

Online, that's probably never going to happen, but in person, you can end up attracted to someone you thought was ugly. There IS an emotional aspect to sex.

Not really sure where I'm going with this. But, both guys and girls, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to pass up that person that's everything you want except for looks, you never know, you might change your mind after talking a while. It doesn't always happen, probably doesn't more than it does, but on a site like this, in between dates, what do you have to lose?
 jpwrnglrwmn
Joined: 10/21/2013
Msg: 317
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/6/2014 11:10:29 PM
Well, this was a couple years back, and not on a dating website but dealing with a person I met at work. He seemed to have everything going for him. .good job (engineer at the company I work for ), graduated from one of the top universities, and seemed to have some things in common.. We went out as friends, always in a big group (with his co-workers/friends) on a couple of occasions, but just didn't have the desire to date him. As he wanted to date, we just stopped hanging out after some time. . didn't want to lead him on in any way. I didn't think he looked terrible, I just wasn't physically attracted to him. I did get to know him better, but I still didn't want to date him.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 318
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/7/2014 6:01:00 AM
Rockin - interesting . I agree I've found the longer I'm around some people the more attractive them become. I prefer a great mind and hot voice over looks. Besides all cats look the same in the dark
 jpwrnglrwmn
Joined: 10/21/2013
Msg: 319
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/7/2014 9:20:31 AM
I agree that there has to be something there. . chemistry, for lack of a better word. .and that looks aren't the only deciding factor. In all the relationships I've been in. .there was some attraction initially, but their personality/qualities is what made me want to get to know them better, and eventually date.
On the flip side, once you no longer view them in the same light, you may sometimes look at the person and think. . what was I thinking?! :P
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 320
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/7/2014 9:54:41 AM
when someone says,

"looks aren't that important"

what they mean is:

"oh, I'd date a 6 or a 7 with a great personality."

we all still need to feel a tickle in our pickle. I used to date a Hawaiian Tropic model...after she gained a lot of birth-weight. She showed me photos of her in her salad days, mentioned the type of guys she picked up (NFL players, etc.) and there's no doubt, had I met her back then...I wouldn't have caught her attention. She might have noticed me, but given a choice, she would have gone with the higher-status one. And I don't blame her for that. she was hot enough to have a choice back then.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 321
About leagues. . .
Posted: 3/14/2014 3:04:35 PM
BJC2012- Physical attraction might be what gets you interested, but it's a deeper connection that keeps you interested.
I don't care if the man is another Brad Pitt, if he has nothing to offer but his looks, I'm going to get bored, quick.
What I hope for is someone that feels the same way.
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