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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > About leagues. . .      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 26
About leagues. . .Page 2 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
OP... you are a man.... while you may not have the best options to bed women quickly/easily who are typically ""outta"" your league - you hold the cards when it comes to finding a gf and a wife...

haven't you always heard/read about how many women ""desparately"" looking for bfs/husbands ?

men choose gfs and wives... women just have to say "ok"...

tradiationally women's father's gave the OK for a girl to marry a boy..

why ? cause they aren't as good at picking a man, since women tend to get '"blinded"' by the idea of marriage...


work on your game...

have some patience

and be selective on who you choose...

go after the type of women you want and figure out what you gotta do to attract a woman who is more physically who also fits many other qualities you seek inna gf/wife...
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 27
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 10:53:30 AM
Leauges exist in high school. In the world of grown ups, they shouldn't be around
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 28
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 11:24:47 AM
I would never date anyone who categorized, labeled, or numbered me.

Guys who need to do that think of women as playthings; not human beings.

People put themselves into leagues. It’s juvenile, stupid and needy.

OP, work on yourself. That’s all you can do. You don’t control others; don’t let them control YOU.


Speak to those who interest you and if they aren't mutually interested, respect that as the choice of the individual but categorizing people into leagues and trying to determine which levels you can attain/attracted is a BS approach to life.


Agree, completely.

OP, if you choose to commiserate with the Pity Party Boys, you will be nothing but miserable. It might feel good at first to give up and whine and blame women and the universe for your life, but you’ll end up doing nothing but wasting your life away simply because it’s easier to relinquish your personal responsibility for YOURSELF.

Are these forum boys gonna hold your hand when you’re 50 and have done nothing with your life but whine?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 29
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 11:35:19 AM
There were definitely leagues in high school.
And I think there were leagues in my 20's 30's & 40's,
although I was married then and might not have noticed.

But now that I'm older, I don't think of myself in or out of
any league. Being older (for me) put things in perspective.
On the looks scale, I can get anyone I want. (I say this because
it's true, not because I'm a snob or I think I'm wicked good looking.)
It's not the looks thing so much anymore. It's mostly the hobbies and interests.
I've got less patience than I used to have with regard to making
drastic changes.

I'm often turned down by my contemporaries because I would
rather pedal 26 or so miles leisurely (my bike has a wicker basket
after all) and my idea of a hike is strolling through the woods or up
a nice mountain trail. I'm not into anything extreme or wicked fast.

Most of the people I meet are at opposite ends of the spectrum.
Either they are into extreme sports and excercise or they are couch
potatoes who think a nice afternoon is a beer in front of the tv.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 30
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 12:04:46 PM
In the past I would tell all these duffus guys that it was all in their heads and that all they had to do was try, have some balls and they could change their own outcomes. But why bother? They will not change their minds. Also, what that does, it allows more of the women that are supposed to be in higher leagues to feel unfulfilled and tired of all those guys that treat them like total crap and then cheat on them.

What that does is create a tremendous vacuum between duffus dwebbs that will never get laid, and playa types that have no need to commit. And all that in the middle is populated by awesome looking, hot women that don't give a rat's a ss about leagues. They simply do not want to be objectify. They also want to get laid (a lot). And want to have a monogamous relationship with someone.

So my advice is simple. Remain in your league. Stop trying to get laid. Do not approach any woman you think is above you. You have no b alls, remain that way. You could change, but why bother, it means risk, it means a ton of failure, pain, and you simply cannot handle that. Please continue to argue how futile it is. Thank you.

That gives the rest of us average looking guys 200% better chances.
 greenIsis777
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 31
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 6:03:19 PM

is this keeping from potentially good partners?


YES! people that have a league mindset will date within their own league. those that don't will date whomever they want
 AnnB72
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 32
About leagues. . .
Posted: 10/11/2012 7:30:33 PM

since there is no such thing as a gold-digging man..


Bwahahaha!!



No, men don't have as much ability in determining their fate in re: to women. Women hold all the power.


Like hell. There are many attractive women out there just as unfulfilled as the "average" and "below average" guys. People you think are happy can very well be merely content. There's a big difference.

Sure, they may go through countless partners and have a lot more experiences, but they're not exempt from failing to find what they're truly looking for or making stupid decisions that keep them from it. You may think attractive women hold the keys to the universe, but many of them have been shit on just as much as you have, but in different ways.

You've heard the adage "experience is the best teacher, yes?" Well, you've admitted to having very little. So, I'm not certain how it is you're holding on to your beliefs with such great confidence. A lot of the advice you're being given is from people who have been playing the dating and relationships game longer than you've been alive, which should not be so easily dismissed.

Personally, I think you're going to burn yourself out with all of the over-analyzing and pessimism. (no, it's not realism) Hopefully, one day you'll finally see it as the dead weight that's been holding you down.


This ^^^

OP: you're only seeing it from one side. THAT is a limiting factor.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 33
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 7:47:46 AM
I learnt long time ago, that "attractive" people can be stupid right along with the rest of us.

It's a damn package,that's it. Only those around this package can make it turn out what it will be. If you treat everyone a tad differently because of their "looks", you are as much at fault as the package itself. We are members of a society. So when we, as a society, put people on pedestals because of the "look" they carry, we have only ourselves to blame for the way these people act.

They eat. They shiat. They fart. They burp. They are human. Are you????
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 34
view profile
History
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 8:30:44 AM
There are leagues, both here in the world of online dating, and in the non-dating world. There have been a number of studies, scientific studies performed by scholarly institutions, showing that taller men advance further in the corporate world. They get more raises, more promotions, and just in general have a much better chance at success. The same is true for “average build” versus overweight or obese.

But there are exceptions, and if you play your cards right you could be one of those exceptions. The very first thing you have to do is believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else ever will.

Work on yourself. Pick out the one trait that you think most holds you back. Your problem is your looks? Fine, get a better haircut, get some better looking / more up to date clothes. Don’t know anything about fashion, or what clothes you should wear? Ask an attractive woman. Go ahead, try it. Approach a few women, tell them you want to re-invent yourself, buy some new clothes, improve your visual appearance. Some of the women will think you’re a weirdo, but others will be intrigued. Women (at least a great many of them) really want to believe that they have great fashion and style sense. If you approach them in the right way, telling them you really like their sense of style and would like their help, you might be very surprised at your results.

Your problem is that you’re shy? Join ToastMasters. Not enough money to take women out on dates? Change your priorities, move to a smaller apartment in a less expensive neighborhood.

But for god’s sake, quit whining! That is the single most unattractive trait that a person can have.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 35
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 9:18:06 AM
Got this response from a profile review (from a 63 year old woman):


I'm still laughing at disabled overweight man wanting slender wonderful women. I'm average and won't look at large guys.


Yep, leagues exist at all ages.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 36
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 9:24:24 AM

But for god’s sake, quit whining! That is the single most unattractive trait that a person can have.


AGREE!!

What do some of these guys think….gorgeous women are gonna pat their stupid heads and say, “There, there….your infantile self-pitying droning whine is soooo sexy and attractive, it’s turning me on and making me hot all over and I can’t wait to go out with you!” ?????

Catch a friggin clue!

 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 37
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 9:45:07 AM
I take it on a case by case basis...

Behavior on a meet can make or break a potential relationship...
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 38
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 9:50:00 AM

LMAO - on what planet does this hold true that it is easier to get a date with a 9 or a 10 than it is with a 5 or a 6. For starters there are far more 5's and 6's ( if you consider 5's and 6's ) average than there are 9's and 10's - the most attractive 5 to 10% of the women out there. Even the proverbial 5 dressup up as a 9 will get asked to dance more often than a 5 dressed up as a 5 as long as long as what constitutes a 9 includes here demeanor and body language ( something that is always part of attraction IMO )


Most guys are going to assume the 9 or 10 is already taken. Since it's typically on us to approach the girl, most guys tend to assume the entire world beat them to that girl. Or they just think they have no shot. If you really talk to the insanely hot girl (who isn't a bar slut), you'll learn a lot, and learn how many friday nights they sit home alone too. On a dating site, it's different though, every guy is capable of 10s, and doesn't want to settle for less.

Now, leagues do still exist out of high school, there's no denying it, but it's a lot less apparent, and most of the time based on maturity, having a direction in life and independence than if she's too hot for him. While there's always going to be exceptions, a business owner typically isn't going to want to be with someone who's always quitting jobs because they got too hard. A college student going for a masters isn't really going to want to be with someone who's idea of a career is a non-management job at McDonalds.

While leagues do exist, they're more realistic as you get older. There are people who only date hot people, that's a whole different issue though.
 Brodigy
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 39
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 10:05:58 AM
To say having a great attitude and not being intimidated by people in a different league is great because ,as someone said ,exceptions happen and you'll never find out if you never roll the dice.

Realistically though, I'm not going to jump on a plane and start pursuing Eva Mendes.

LOL
 Bella_RF
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 40
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 10:46:06 AM
Leagues are for teenagers. We all have different perceptions of what attracts us. If I find a man attractive and we seem to want the same thing I will hit him up. If he's mutually interested great, if not, keep exploring. But! What I find attractive (and I say this on my profile) surprises a lot of people. They may not be James Bond (Daniel Craig) but if I like their smile, their eyes, personality or demeanor towards me then I'm all for it and the attraction grows.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 41
view profile
History
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 11:40:19 AM
This isn't about looks as much as it's about self-esteem. I know women I consider drop-dead gorgeous who hate their looks so much that they hide behind pounds of make-up, plastic surgery, etc. Or, they just plain hide from society. They don't consider themselves attractive until they've got the fish-lips, frozen faces from Botox injections and enormous boobs, squeezed into dresses 2 sizes too small, walking like a cow in shackles from the platform heels, ugh. If you look at their "before" photos, they looked just fine.

Who judges what is "attractive", anyway? I personally don't find Brad Pitt or George Clooney anything special and George has Brad way trumped in personality. For me, Billy Bob Thornton and Steve Buscemi (sp?) have a certain appeal, I'd date them, lol.

You might be surprised how many women in your circle of friends, co-workers and acquaintances actually find you attractive.
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 42
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 12:03:06 PM
Greenisis and fluron and types of women that won't give me a shot cause I don't have the looks most women like. Sad story. All women want the same type of guy looks wise. While men, its subjective, we find diff types attractive. Awesome how these two cute gals from here, gave me their numberz,we text, I did even say I wasn't good enough for them. And now they are gone. So yea its my looks is why I can't seem to meet women


If that's your attitude, I'm not surprised that it seems like that. Looks do matter in attraction, but it's not everything. As guys, we're actually way more picky about looks.

A lot of women are attracted to a clean, grown up look. Some like that long hair trying to be a hippy look... Basically, they pay more attention to your style than if they think you're hot, since that "style" is typically an extension of who you are.

I'm far from what most women would consider hot, yet I do perfectly fine... It's because I know how to clean up, I know how to show or at least fake confidence in any situation... This is the stuff that's going to get the girl to give you a shot. She wants to date a grown man, not a 12 year old.

Get some better pictures without the hands in the pockets, stand up straight, avoid polo shirts as your first impression. If it's a dating site where you're having your problem, try a more serious approach to your profile... A few jokes are OK, the entire thing being a joke doesn't attract anyone serious.

It's not your looks that's making them not give you a shot, it's how you carry yourself. Show them someone that's serious about dating, and you'll have better luck.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 43
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/9/2012 2:06:42 PM

Greenisis and fluron and types of women that won't give me a shot cause I don't have the looks most women like.


Speaking for myself, that ain’t why.


Sad story. All women want the same type of guy looks wise. While men, its subjective, we find diff types attractive.


Oh brother. What crap. Women aren’t cardboard cutouts of each other. Don’t you ever get sick of yourself?

So what is this elusive male type we all supposedly want? Maybe you’d have better luck with women if you tried LISTENING to us instead of those voices in your head.

Bella_RF mentioned Daniel Craig….and she’s welcome to him.
To me he looks like a jugheaded fireplug; I don’t find him appealing at all. Blech.

windchymes posted:
For me, Billy Bob Thornton and Steve Buscemi (sp?) have a certain appeal, I'd date them, lol.


I agree and would date Steve Buscemi, because I think he’s hilarious and would be lots of fun, but you can keep Billy Bob, I think he’s a pig.

Captain, it’s lazy and disrespectful to try to lump all women together, like we all share one brain or something. We don’t all want, and aren’t all won over by the same physical type. You should have learned this by ten years old.


Awesome how these two cute gals from here, gave me their numberz,we text, I did even say I wasn't good enough for them. And now they are gone. So yea its my looks is why I can't seem to meet women


Firstly…..I don’t like the way you worded your post….to clarify: I didn’t give you my phone number and you and I have never texted.

And…..if two women did give you their phone numbers, and you did text, why would you think your looks were responsible, and not something stupid or insulting that you said?

Or…..


Or probably because you use a Z in numbers.





rockstar_nj1182: I like your new pics. :)
 ITWYLD
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 44
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/10/2012 1:55:25 AM
^^^^^^^^


I don't get that Farmer........you're hot as *uck to me. ;)


*sigh*

As been said before....it's all in the eye of the beholder!
 RonMcDon73
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 45
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/10/2012 6:41:37 AM

LMAO - on what planet does this hold true that it is easier to get a date with a 9 or a 10 than it is with a 5 or a 6


lol. +1
That's for people who believe becoming a fortune 500 CEO is a piece of cake. :D

Just go up to whoever you want, be yourself and swing for the bleachers. If she shoots you down she's obviously a lesbian, so no loss. Go onto the next lucky girl to get some attention from you.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 46
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/10/2012 6:59:16 AM
Look, the simple fact of the matter is, one should stick with someone on level with their looks; avoids inflating egos and is less likely to result in degrading, insulting rejection


We've had this discussion over and over again here in the forums. In the past I would say that there are not such thing as leagues, while a ton of guys keep saying that there are. Then it occurred to me what the truth of the matter is: If you believe they exist and are conditioned to them, they exist. If you do not believe they exist and are not conditioned by them, then they don't. It goes back to the saying "What you think. You are."

When I started college I could not get a girl for the world. Then I started befriending some very hot girls through my photographer friends. At first these girls were just friendly, and if you want to believe leagues, were way above anything. I became extremely comfortable around them and treated them like they looked like dogs instead of goddesses, like most men did. So the next group of girls that arrived in school, saw me partying with these girls (plus my regular guy friends) and they wanted in. Only these girls did not become friends, they became dates, sexual partners and so forth. Was I ever a hot looking guy. Never.

So if you believe in leagues. Good for you, you are limited by what you think. If you do not believe in them, eventually you will figure out and access people that seem somehow above. What you will find out is that they are not. It's all in your head.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 47
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/10/2012 10:47:26 AM

Yes. Tastes VARY. Can you imagine that?!!?

Hell, my neighbor works with a 22 year old girl who men go nuts for. Guess who her "dream man" is?? Hugh Laurie from "House", and he's in his 50's. Again, as f*cked up and weird as they can be, tastes do indeed vary.


Well…..if he convinces himself women don’t want him because of his looks, then he can blame god and the universe for screwing him over, instead of doing anything to help himself. It’s a common theme here.

Who doesn’t like House? I doubt I’d date him but he’s funny as hell. :)

I’d date Wilson or the Australian guy’s thighs.


Is that snowball aimed at me Fleuron? ;-)


Of course not, EnergeticRich, I wouldn’t do that.
 JohnAGalt
Joined: 9/23/2012
Msg: 48
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/10/2012 11:14:49 AM
Captain you are not only insecure, you're a bit of a hypocrite .... you whine about HOT women not giving you a chance because of your looks but the same average woman or heavy set chick that emails you to get to know you and you wont give them the time of day to is probably wondering the same thing, why isnt this guy giving me a chance?

Are their leagues?you bet there is, but it all about confidence, there are average guys with hot girlfriends/wives but they are a confident bunch, unlike the whinny f ucks out there whining about this , whining about that.

The more you whine the more women avoid you because you have this negative vibe man, for some reason you dont get it .

If average guys like yourself changes the attitudes you might attract the ones you want to attract if not .I hope you like cats.

 JohnAGalt
Joined: 9/23/2012
Msg: 49
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/10/2012 11:33:51 AM
so answer me this question, when a fat girl emails you and she appears decent, not a slut, great personality , decent job and has a good head between her shoulders why not date her? I will tell you why you WONT, its because you're not physically attracted to her.

Its the same thing, if a hot woman isnt physically attracted to you dont whine about it move the freak on.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 50
About leagues. . .
Posted: 12/10/2012 11:39:06 AM
Well, it's either cats or stuffed animals. :D Which is the least maintenance?
(referencing what one poster said "I hope you like cats") Until I buy a place of my own, it's stuffed animals for me. :D
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