Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do I have too many relationship requirements?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 nls1287
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 46
Do I have too many relationship requirements?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
It's not even so much that they are requirements so much as they are ideals, so maybe thats how I should have titled this. It gets frustrating after a while of dating when things either end because the women feels I am not good enough for her and not on her level or the woman has no future goals or prospects. It's to the point where Im becoming detached and its hard for me to even develop feelings.
 jblack2000
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 47
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/16/2012 10:05:29 AM

It gets frustrating after a while of dating when things either end because the women feels I am not good enough for her


Maybe you're not doing a good enough job of selling yourself. There's more to you than what job you have or where you went to school. As you probably know, you shouldn't come across as being intimidated/resentful by the high-achieving woman's success. With the economy the way it is, these women should know that there's not going to be a whole bunch of dudes on their level. During the recession, more men lost their jobs than women.
 masterotaku
Joined: 7/20/2012
Msg: 48
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/16/2012 10:36:48 AM

It's not even so much that they are requirements so much as they are ideals, so maybe thats how I should have titled this. It gets frustrating after a while of dating when things either end because the women feels I am not good enough for her and not on her level or the woman has no future goals or prospects. It's to the point where Im becoming detached and its hard for me to even develop feelings.


Also keep in mind that....if this were easy, no one would be single.

You have to be committed to the process, and be able to cope with and internalize the disappointments you're going to encounter.
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 49
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/16/2012 12:15:44 PM
Sounds to me OP like your really not giving anyone a chance, or maybe it's the woman not giving you a chance because of your high expectations(hobbies and looks)......

I live in a small town(as a lot of people across the country do). There is nothing really notable to do here but go out to eat and go to WalMart. So I guess that would take me off your list.........
 nls1287
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 50
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/16/2012 8:41:42 PM
A chance in what way? Im not saying I want a woman who has 8 degrees making 7 figures. However at the same time I dont want a woman who has nothing going for herself ex(not in school, taking up a trade, nor has any ambitions to ect....). I didnt think me wanting a woman who likes things besides shopping and eating were such high expectations....in that case maybe I am asking for too much, even though I would hate to think thats the case...
 safaa30
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 51
view profile
History
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/17/2012 9:15:10 AM
No one said finding Mrs right was easy. If it was, none of us would be single. Swallow your frustration, change your dating strategy (age of women, where you meet them etc), be patient, relax and enjoy this phase of your life!
 nls1287
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 52
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/19/2012 5:44:25 PM
At this point I feel like ive tried many different avenues. online dating, meetups, bookstores,ect.......none of it really seems to be of avail. As far as age.....lets just say older women dont like me too much lol
 ADandridge
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 53
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/20/2012 12:34:08 AM
No you don't have enough requirements.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 54
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/20/2012 12:40:10 AM
I have one rule, she has to be attractive to me. What makes someone attractive is based on ten thousand different things some of which not even I am aware myself. I don't think wanting someone to be attractive to you is too much to ask for at all but if you are having a hard time finding people attractive you might need to take a look at the one thing they all have in common (hint it contains three vowels and ends in you).
 nls1287
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 55
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/20/2012 1:23:03 PM
No I have NO problem seeing attractive women, its just other little things that go along with it. Like they dont have too many hobbies, or they dont make eye contact, or they have stuck up attitudes. Again its not all of them but a good chunk of them act like that in the area...
 lamatheid
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 56
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/20/2012 5:26:48 PM
The last post I read pertaining to open mindedness and getting to know one is excellent advise. And trying to feel the vibes you want to feel on the first date is obsurd and illogical. all of a suddent folk become psychic on the first date.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 57
view profile
History
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/20/2012 5:27:27 PM
OP --

You're 24 years old. At your age having goals is a VERY IMPORTANT. You are in the process of building your life, your career, looking ahead to having a home and family. At your age someone who is standing still is going nowhere.

At my age, someone who is standing still is going backwards.

I looked at your profile, and think you should be proud of yourself for be so mature, and wanting to get ahead and have a good future. So many young people in or near their 30's are still home with the parents, just living for gaming and the club scene only.

You can definately do better than some girl who only wants to live in the moment or find herself a meal ticket.

Hang on to your standards! and good luck in meeting a lovely young lady soon. The good ones are out there!
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 58
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/20/2012 8:26:58 PM
nls, you won't meet a woman like you .. unless she is a she-man.. and even though you might be attracted .. it or that or whatever won't work out or in for that matter hah... anyway the key to any relationship of value is to be "of value".. you will firstly need a very strong attraction, this being the initial desire to get to know her and then .. figure out if she is someone who can value you as you value her.. it's simple with two mature individuals.. not everyone has the depth to make a very satisfying long term bond because that requires full authenticity and not everyone can go there.. anyway if you keep searching you will eventually find "your one"... goals are subjective .. if you are looking for superficiality then you will find it, if you are looking for a genuine compassionate person filled with decency and values then you will find it,,, when you seek so shall you find but you have to be honest with what you are seeking..

Truth is strong attraction is the key component to any long term union of importance .. if you are not attracted to her, it will not work... yah gottah have the hots for each other or it won't work.. unless you plan on having a sexless union.. if you don't feel desire it won't work .. and desire is not definable.. it is a personal intimate realm you develop with the one you bond to. nuff said ..
 your-luv
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 59
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/20/2012 10:39:59 PM
I agree! it does not take all of those material things to make me happy with someone. At the end of the day that s tuff does not matter
 your-luv
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 60
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/20/2012 10:48:25 PM
all material things aside... at the end of the day all you will have is what you feel for each other..and what you feel is what your relationship will be
 sexysunfish68
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 61
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:10:11 PM
Your requirements are basic I would say. I would want all of that and more. However if you have not found that on a dating site, no surprise. The numbers are way skewed against men. You are looking in all the wrong places perhaps??? At your age you should be using other options in real life to find a girl.

I would revamp your pics and get rid of the ones that are not clear and post a full length one doing something interesting.. However you didnt ask for a review and you can ignore my comments of course.
 sexysunfish68
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 62
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:12:47 PM
I thought it was that women are always shopping and not eating lol!
 Dot_Matrix
Joined: 9/30/2012
Msg: 63
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/21/2012 9:06:06 AM
nls, just be happy you aren't in Miami. Talk about disillusioned self-worth! Materialism reigns supreme along with classism. So many requirements to get a date around here it's sickening. As soon as I am done with my classes, I'm out of this cesspool of a city filled with plastic people.
 nls1287
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 64
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/21/2012 10:56:53 AM
Well this is just one avenue I use for dating and even meeting ppl for friends, but this isn't my primary use. It's just hard to meet people if your not still in school, or something like that. I mean I'll go hang out with co workers and thats cool. I feel like im in a very materialistic place and women in my age group or even alittle older all want instant gratification.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 65
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/21/2012 7:32:08 PM

No I have NO problem seeing attractive women, its just other little things that go along with it. Like they dont have too many hobbies, or they dont make eye contact, or they have stuck up attitudes. Again its not all of them but a good chunk of them act like that in the area...


You confuse good looking with attractive; attraction is more than "I would hit that."
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 66
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/21/2012 7:53:07 PM
I think your list is just fine. People are over complicating it by trying to dissect/over analyze what you stated. No need.


Just go with your gut. Nothing you listed is unreasonable.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 67
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/21/2012 10:23:33 PM
Good God man, you "require 4 things in a prospect."? Are you dating or hiring? This isn't a business proposition it's a relationship. None of your requirements address the basics of an intimate relationship. Things like trust, respect, devotion and loyalty. Then there are things like compassion and empathy.
I have known women who would meet the requirements you list but are also totally vain, selfish and mean.
 nls1287
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 68
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/21/2012 10:45:03 PM
You dont quite get to know things such as"trust, respect, devotion and loyalty" until youve been talking for a while. Im talking about things initially, of course anyone would want those things that you just listed. But yeah I do understand what your saying though.
 luvchloe
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 69
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/22/2012 4:29:05 AM
No, i dont think u have to many relationship requirements. You want a women with ethics, good characteristics with feels/ compassion towards u. U r a man and sounds like u know xactly want u want and need.
 Cecilly
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 70
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/23/2012 10:47:36 AM
You want what you want. The goals requirement wouldn't work for me because I live my life as I choose. But then so do you, and that quality is important to you in another person.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do I have too many relationship requirements?