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 RR Man
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 42
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
"There's more to a person than their looks. I personally do not rate good looks at the top of what I seek in another person. I'm far more interested in their intelligence, energy, education, personal style, taste in music, taste in books, health, interest in keeping healthy, etc."

Dolphina, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. One reason for the high divorce rate in this country is people who chase after the opposite sex based on looks. When I was young and stupid, I passed on a couple of girls because I didn't think they were good looking. In retrospect, one of them might have made me a very nice wife.
 webmdtech
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 44
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/16/2012 11:49:58 PM
First of all, good looks are subjective. Everyone’s turned on by different shit. Some hot ass girls I know are into everything from short, to bald, to fat dudes.
Another major issue with typical hot male is that even if "average" wemen can get them, they’re not about to wife them up. These are dudes that get **** thrown at them constantly, so giving all that up for one chick probably won’t happen. Maybe for a few weeks or even a couple months, but eventually, the other **** will beckon. An "average" dude on the other hand? When they get a dime on their d!ck they savor that shit until the very last drop. They’re generally not as greedy as their better-looking counterparts. Some broads are so sick of the games with pretty boys that they’d rather settle with a safe bet.
 afixerupper
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 45
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/17/2012 12:17:05 AM
besides, if you saw them without makeup and hair done, they are probably more in line with the guys they are dating... lol.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 48
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 10/17/2012 6:44:51 AM

And we ALL, as individuals have the ability to dismiss any opinion out there,correct???? Some of us laugh at fashion mags. Out loud even.


Of course, but that still does not change the standards by which MOST people judge beauty. In fact, I have heard people say, "He/she is not good-looking, but has a great personality." We have other standards by which we "judge" people.


Its from what I have deduced from my own personal experiences and from others who have raised this question to. I don't believe we gravitate towards our own standards of what we feel we deserve genetically or emotionally,


The problem with this is that you have "deduced" this from personal experience while studies show otherwise. I have not seen this in my personal experience: by far, the couples whom I have known and see in public are really even in their "looks" quotient. You can believe that there are pink unicorns on the moon, but that mean that there are.


so generally speaking why do people box below their weight band for happiness.?


Whoa! So, a good-looking person is NOT going to be happy if he/she marries someone who is not good-looking? How can YOU judge what makes other people happy?

(Gwen imagines scenario in bar. Man is sitting, talking to bartender, crying his eyes out because he married a woman who is not as good-looking as he is and he is miserable. Across town, a woman complains to her best friend that she is desperately unhappy because she married an ugly man and doesn't know what to do.)
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 53
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/3/2013 7:56:05 PM
Ugly should be with ugly
Pretty should be with Pretty
Any attraction other than physical attraction does not matter!
any couples spotted breaking these Mandetory rules will be sent to a ReEducation camp!
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 56
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/3/2013 8:26:03 PM
I date personality rather than looks
 LuvADKs
Joined: 8/31/2011
Msg: 59
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/3/2013 8:59:13 PM
I've said this before and I'll say it again: women spend much more time and effort on their appearance than men.

Take away the make-up, styled hair, jewelry, fake tans and fancy clothes - most "Hot women" end up looking pretty average. If you don't believe me, do a google image search on celebrities without makeup. It's all in how one presents his or her self..
 jc91607
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 62
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/3/2013 9:39:54 PM
Money has been said a few times. Many attractive people have low self esteem and feel insecure. They may feel an unattractive person will not lead them astray.

In order for two people to come together, they have to overcome the initial barriers that separate them. Physical attraction is a great way to overcome that initial barrier, but it is not the only way to overcome that barrier. Things like personality, confidence, and charm may work too.

Another thing we are discounting is that just because you see an unattractive person with an attractive person, it does not mean the unattractive person was always unattractive. Some people do not age well. People often let themselves go when they are in relationships. They gain weight, they stop dressing nice, they get messed up haircuts, etc. Some women also fall apart after they have kids.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 68
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/4/2013 7:41:31 AM
What do these plain guys have that you don't? These geeky guys have inside knowledge - they can identify and stimulate the one part on a woman's body that makes them wild with passion and keeps them coming back for more...
.
.
.
.
.
Her heart.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 69
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/4/2013 7:49:13 AM

So by your written words, when I had my profile unhidden with a picture, I would have women at least reading my About Me before deciding they're not interested.

Perhaps that's exactly what they did. But...not interested is not interested. Why is irrelevant.

Obviously the partner IS pleasing to the others eyes...not EVERYONE is a superficial, shallow POS...

Exactly - one person's hot is another person's "eh". What you consider unattractive isn't agreed upon by everyone. This is what makes the world what it is...if we all thought the same thing was attractive, it would be a lot more frustrating than it is now.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 76
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/4/2013 10:55:14 AM

True. But what is relevant is they never get to know what is inside by reading the About Me because they never got past the picture which is the outside.

I'm not sure why anyone thinks the outside isn't relevant to someone being interested. The only thing these people might be guilty of is not seeing you in person to see if your photo does you justice. Otherwise, sorry but the package inside and out matters - and while someone might be one of the best people you've ever met, if you don't have attraction, you don't have attraction. The most that person will be unless you like wasting your time and theirs - is a good friend.

Who you are on the inside will usually be a bonus to an outside attraction, or make a slight attraction better. It won't trump a complete lack of physical attraction. And of course you know this, or you'd be married to the first non attractive terrific person that ever showed interest in you.

P.S. I will gladly date men better looking than me, but since I don't have an overly high opinion of myself they aren't too hard to find. I don't have that thing where I worry about someone getting more attention than I do, though.
 Orgulloso
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 77
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/4/2013 11:09:42 AM
WIP, we've messaged before and believe me you're attractive young lady. Add to that I find your insight fascinating and you're intellect stimulating.

Whomever revived this thread, this is what MOST of us are looking for. Someone that WE find attractive but is as attractive or even more so on the inside. Physical attraction is subjective, for instance I don't find Angelina Jolie attractive but Mr. Pitt does.

The physical will attract us but the personality is what will keep us.

Cheers.
 ReadBeforeWriting
Joined: 9/30/2012
Msg: 81
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/4/2013 6:19:31 PM
Personality can trump appearance for me but never the reverse.
Several males I've encountered who were my physical ideal had such unappealing personalities I could never have been attracted to them.
I currently see a fellow who is not conventionally attractive in any way and who is far from my physical type but who is so brilliant and admirable I am very attracted.
But there is a spectrum; I dated a fellow for a couple of months who also had a big brain and a personality that suited me well but his looks were SO unappealing to me I could not get beyond them no matter how much I liked him as a person. I tried, but could not.

I have a longtime male pal, dated him 20 years ago, who is (and has always been) short, fat and ugly.
His first wife was a gorgeous Iranian girl, she did marry him for financial reasons and later cheated.
His second wife is both beautiful and educated, has plenty of her own money and adores him. He is now bored with her and is considering divorce. If you saw them in public together you'd be amazed she even spoke to him let alone married him.

So no way to generalize or assume on this topic. It is quite a case by case thing.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 83
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/4/2013 7:56:05 PM
"Why is it in the majority of cases"

>>>I see this myth get repeated a lot...and maybe there's a part of the country where there's an overabundance of hot women and few hot men to go around, but....as only one person mentioned...its truly rare for a secure, physically attractive woman to not be selective. There are some insecure, physically attractive women who go after guys they can't have--I used to know one well. But she'd also dated her fair share of hot men in the 40+ she's gone to bed with. She started dating average looking guys thinking only the hot ones were players.

We tend to notice the exceptions to our rules, that's what stand out to us. We also tend to accept myths as truth when they are repeated enough. Beautiful women don't have to date ugly guys if they don't want to, and where I've been, few choose to do so. They want to feel good, just like anyone else. They may decide to "try" something different, but we all tend to go with what makes us feel good. we're all pleasure-seekers.

there are other studies show on average, we tend to date people w/ similar facial features to ourselves. but i'll blame the myth on the dating coaches trying to drum up some business, like how in the 1920's the myth that you only use 6% of your brain (why does your head produce so much heat if that's true?) was passed around to sell books on how to increase your thinking power.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 85
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/4/2013 9:20:34 PM
^^^^^^
"The less attractive person is often rich and/or powerful."

Don't you see? "Rich and powerful" IS the attraction !!
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 87
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Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/7/2013 2:55:58 PM
Let's look at Mushrooman's original post's text:

"Why is it in the majority of cases, men and women date partners that are not pleasing to the eye? Is it an insecurity thing or something evolutionary? Are our personalities more attractive than our looks in the long run?"

Well, that's because by definition we can't all be the most attractive, right? So MOST people dating are not the MOST attractive.

And, when it comes to men dating women who aren't considered attractive, I quote the late Lenny Bruce:

"Men are different. Men will do it to chickens."

Seriously, people enter and stay in relationships because they are getting something they value, whatever it is. And, yes, most research reports that similar levels of "desirability" in a couple are more likely to create a stable relationship.
ED BEAR
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 89
Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa?
Posted: 4/12/2013 2:23:14 PM

Oh, well, somebody shoot me. If I see a totally HOT, secure, confident, positive and bodacious babe, I will TOTALLY go after her! I LOVE hot women! That's my type. Why would I want to date someone insecure, unfit, out of shape and with a negative attitude?!


You sick puppy you. Didn't you read that there was supposed to be leagues and the hot women were only for hot looking guys, or rich, or famous with a record or movie contract?

Hehehe

Me neither. But I fit the other stereotype. I 'm a dog. I am shallow. I like very attractive women. I like sex. And I get both. So well said dude.
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