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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 26
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

That he's going WAY too fast and I'm not there yet. That's the issue.



No,what the issue is , is that you are 21 years old and acting like it. If this situation IS an issue for YOU, than YOU better open your mouth and talk to him about it. Orrrrrrrrr, you can come on a public forum on a dating site and start talking to people about something that only you and he should be dealing with.

I do have to thank you though, cause I'm a believer that you young ones should be taking your time and getting your lives in order before you start playing house. And you have given us an example of why my beliefs are close to being bang on.Communication young lady. Use it.
 Tryns
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 27
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/19/2012 6:24:43 AM
I would think after 5 months you have a reasonable idea if this guy is a future marriage partner or not? Not saying to go out and get married tomorrow but certainly you have some inclination if this is the type of person you could see yourself comitting to. I think that's what he's communicating to you. If you're not on the same page and are not interested in a long term committed relationship w/him you should tell him that like yesterday. Otherwise you are really not being fair to him.
 jrzygirl43
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 28
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/19/2012 6:39:07 AM
I say don't read in to it, let him talk but it doesn't mean he's going to pop the question...if he tends to keep up on it and becomes to attached or needy or controlling then maybe you need to take a step back. How old is he as I see you are pretty young to be too serious right now?
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/19/2012 2:06:29 PM
Just tell him you are flattered and that the last 5 months has been enough for you to say that you are interested (in finding out if the next year will bring you to the point of wanting to get engaged or not) but you'll need at least that much time to give an honest reply.
 Lilbitofsugaandspice
Joined: 6/30/2011
Msg: 30
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/19/2012 3:52:03 PM
Sounds like a romantic guy- enjoy!

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way
Don't you wanna stay?
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 31
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/19/2012 6:01:50 PM
You don’t expect him to say “I love you”? Then why the heck are you with him??

What do you expect him to say….”goodbye”?

Hey, aren’t you the one whose mother steals her boyfriends? Maybe give mom a call and she’ll take him off your hands. :)
 bigedgator
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 32
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/19/2012 8:38:22 PM

OP ... my insight is... is that you really are NOT into him....


so quit wasting his time.


This...
 ADandridge
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 33
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/20/2012 12:26:01 AM
It's not a red flag, but some people know EXACTLY what they want. If you have everything he wants in a woman then he is just expressing that to you. I know what I want. If I meet a woman who has the qualities that I want, then I am going to make sure I do my best to keep her and make sure she knows that she is everything I want. Telling you that he wants to be with you forever may just be a way of saying "You are the perfect woman for me, you have all of the qualities I have been looking for in a significant other". Basically the same thing. His choice in wording just shows TONS of commitment.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 34
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/20/2012 3:34:26 AM
while you are prissing about some guy wanting to stay with you forever, console yourself with the fact that it's much more likely he's gonna get tired of your shite and leave long before forever shows its face.


I question what's going on in his mind

yes, and we're supposed to have some insight. i think your lack of communication skills are the RED FLAG, not some speculative romantic platitude he is telling you...

if he said he wanted to marry you next month, then yes that would be a RED FLAG. ;)


I've been dating this guy for about five months..... We're serious,

sure you are. you are seriously serious, but not THAT serious. and after only five months. like i said, this relationship is likely going to come off the rails for reasons that haven't even impinged upon your awareness yet. so i think the last thing you need to worry about is getting married too soon.

besides, you could aways just say no. how awesome is that?!?
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 35
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/20/2012 8:59:37 AM
She is destined to ruin that relationship. Why? Because you won't let things happen. You scare easy, and you seem to think there is an abundance of men. There isn't. Espspecially the kind of men talking about marriage.

You appear to breathe type of girl to have as a ****friend.. emotionally distant, scared... your a deer.
I make a lot of promises.. and draw you close with something you like, but can't ever attempt to capture tour or you'll run away. He's a hunter voicing to you that he thinks your specials enough to marry.... when maybe your just a throwaway.

I think you'll ruin the relationship.. and it's his fault, for not providing some kind of guide to tour movie magic way of thinking. You probably run the relationship too I bet.

The red flag is you. Dude didn't even tell you he loves you.. for his sake I hope not.. that would be like pulling the trigger at you deer. For now he's just got you in his sights.

Don't confuse this with bitterness or hatred.. I just think this dude might see something in you... and will become heartbroken and jaded after you tear his heart out of his chest for being scared.
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 36
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/20/2012 9:33:32 AM
OP, perhaps he's checking to see if he's wasting his time. Maybe he is looking for something enduring and is unsure you are doing the same.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 37
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/20/2012 10:23:59 AM
Some guys just know some women just know. Send him my way I won't have a problem with that
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 38
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/20/2012 10:24:02 AM

shhhhhhh.... she has changed her profile twice since then.


Really? I recognized her right off. Oh, sorry…we’re supposed to be pretending that never happened. Gotcha. ;)


Umm... if you don't want a long term relationship, what exactly did you commit to?


Banging.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 39
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/20/2012 10:44:17 AM
He's not moving too fast. Saying he wants to stay with you, and asking you to marry him are two entirely different things. All he did was tell you how he felt, something that's not uncommon in relationships, it's actually the reason that relationships even exist in the first place.

If you don't feel the same way, then he's not the guy for you. 5 months is more than enough time to build an opinion on whether or not you see someone in your life that long term.
 your-luv
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 40
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:00:57 PM
Sounds to me like he is trying to test the waters for a I love you..just go with it I say, you clearly make him feel good.
 jimbobby54
Joined: 12/16/2004
Msg: 41
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/22/2012 12:24:26 AM
They shouldnt be staying together and being sexual if there is not hope of long term. She said they were committed after all. Whats he supposed to think?
 ZombiezRock
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 42
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/22/2012 1:11:28 AM
He hasnt even said i love you yet..... so it is kinda odd he is skippin that phase and moving rather fast in other areas.
 kandala9
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 43
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/22/2012 1:32:36 AM
Why would that be a red flag?
 TakenButOnForums
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 44
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/22/2012 2:35:49 AM
Thank you to those who've given me honest opinions.

I agree with those who've told me I have a good guy here... I understand I'm a little young to be so serious but I want someone to grow with slowly. It's just the the last man I was in love with happened very fast and I learned that lesson. I want to take things slow to make sure that this is real-I feel like It's turning into something. I feel myself looking at him sometimes and seeing something special, I just want it to come naturally. I don't want to jump right into a forever he wants. And tonight he told me again that he's thinking of getting married and having kids in the near future, which I'm not sure means. I want to be with someone at least 2 years before getting engaged and I want to grow in a healthy way, I want to understand his needs, how to live together, what we expect from each other before anything "permanent" happens.

I was with a man for about 1 year and half. Was deeply in love, did very very much for him. So yes, when he broke up with me an hour after proposing I went into a different state of mind. I had a FWB, I was in dating mode. In 6 months there were 2 men I was interested in and It didn't work out. Yes, my mother is a MILF and I hate it. My sister is very attractive and some of the men I've dated turned out to be losers and wanted to have sex with her.

Any other judgmental questions? Especially from the single middle aged folks? To be honest I find many of you wise and I take heed to your advice but some of you... I understand completely why you are single. I'm on here because I get so many honest replies but I find many bitter.

HOW DO I CHANGE MY NAME? lol. I really didn't make this profile and I would looooove to change my name.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 45
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/22/2012 8:18:05 AM
I want someone to grow with slowly. I want to take things slow to make sure that this is real-I feel like It's turning into something. I just want it to come naturally. I don't want to jump right into a forever he wants. And tonight he told me again that he's thinking of getting married and having kids in the near future, which I'm not sure means. I want to be with someone at least 2 years before getting engaged and I want to grow in a healthy way, I want to understand his needs, how to live together, what we expect from each other before anything "permanent" happens.


This is the kind of stuff you should be telling him and having a discussion with him about. Why not find out more details of how sees things unfolding. He might have a compatible time frame in mind to you but you are just interpreting or assuming it is different.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/22/2012 8:56:48 AM
Forever is kind of long; you might get tired of him after the couple of thousand years.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 47
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/22/2012 9:31:39 AM
^^^^^^^^^ That’s funny. :)


OP…one thing is for sure….if you can’t communicate with him, your relationship is doomed.
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 48
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/22/2012 10:31:17 AM
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14083790.aspx

Someone who knows that they want to get married and start a family with someone in the near future. . . well no... that is not a red flag. That's just someone who places a high value on family and commitment. This is a different personality type than someone who wants a FWB or NSA arrangement. It sounds as though you haven't really made up your mind where you stand and are allowing men to push you in either direction depending on what THEY want.

IMO... Knowing that you want to get married is something that you would know prior to becoming involved with someone. Feeling that the person you are dating might be the right person for you - yes can be determined in five months of dating for sure. However, a good, solid relationship usually doesn't result until two year or maybe even after four years of being with each other.

 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 49
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/22/2012 1:48:07 PM
I wouldnt say him wanting to stay with you and stating it out loud is a red flag. (btw, please dot use that term, it is way overdone)

The issue would be that you want to slow down, and cannot seem to feel secure to communicate it to him. That will kill the best of relationships right there....

Ask yourself why you feel you cannot share this with him.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 50
Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??
Posted: 10/22/2012 2:25:12 PM
We women are blessed with that inner voice in the back of our heads that's telling us something is not right. If you're questioning this guy's intention I would say listen up. Open your eyes, listen closely, and don't do anything on the spur of the moment...like running away to Vegas. He might very well mean what he says, but again, if that voice is talking to you, proceed with caution, and slowly.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Boyfriend says he wants to stay with me forever, RED FLAG??