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Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 18
doesn't want a relationshipPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months now, we go out and we stay in sometimes....he says he doesn't want a relationship at the moment

I don't understand how this ISN'T a relationship?

Sounds like he wants you to be exclusive without him returning the favor.
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 19
view profile
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 8:49:12 AM
We don't know this guy is using her.
She makes an ultimatum to get her way..per her words.

First op, You do have a relationship, it's just not what you want.
It's what he wants right now.

He is not dating others..according to the OP. Maybe he isn't/is.
I wouldn't know.

You could be just filling in time until someone hits him right in the KABOOM box or he is cautious for a good reason.
If he has a bankruptcy/other issues..He should get it straightened out.

Then there are the relationships where one cares more than the other in the beginning and things change over time..

it means u should keep ur mouth closed.

^^^^^^^^Good advise.

I swear if some guy threatened to cruise for others when I just wanted some time for personal business to get cleared up until I made a commitment that HE wanted or else.I would be so done.

Blackmail is not cool.

If it has to be your way or nothing..MOVE ON>
Joined: 10/8/2012
Msg: 21
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 9:12:33 AM
well he can't have his cake and icecream...Men!! (sigh)

It means he wants you all to himself but .... before you start saying "awww thats so sweet"
It also means he does not want to be committed to you in any way.

Its a control issue again and if I was you...I would maybe slow down the visits with him and start looking elsewhere if you want the relationship that is....but on the other hand...relationships don't happen takes time

Some things to think about
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 23
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 9:42:58 AM
You been seeing him for 3 months. He doesnt date other women, and dont want you to date other men. Isnt that a relationship?
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 24
view profile
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 10:18:06 AM
You're wasting your time if you want a realtionship. He wants to have sex without any strings.
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 25
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 10:43:40 AM
(1) He doesn’t want a relationship with you.
(2) He doesn’t want you to see other people.
Is that okay with you? It wouldn’t be for me.

If he “really means” something else… Ack! That’s worse than anything else. Relationships with people who “really mean something else” are a freaking nightmare, complicated and drama filled. Just wait… the next thing you hear from those types is: “But you KNEW what I really meant.” Nightmare.
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 27
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 11:46:37 AM
Why are you texting him? Talk face to face!!!
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 28
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 12:17:56 PM
I TOTALLY see where he is coming from....I hate to be boxed in. It seems to me u are applying too much pressure, and he just wants to go with the flow....You have fallen in love and ur are not clear on where u stand in his life...He has TOLD YOU....I WANT TO BE WITH U, BUT I ALSO WANT MY OWN LIFE!!! What don't u understand??? You need to get a hobby!!!!!!!!
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 30
view profile
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 3:35:06 PM
I agree with TerrieLynn,

and what others said, I don't agree that he is using you, if he was he wouldn't of been so honest about telling you he doesn't want a relationship right now. He's not sleeping around on you, he's only seeing you. He likes you a lot, or he would be seeing other women and not telling you anything!

If you want on the spot Johnny then you will just push him into someones elses arms.

He just isn't ready for a relationship. Meaning financially, and he told you this!

What, you only have a few months to live? You sound needy and right now kind of person.
You looking for marriage? If he's not financially stable then why would you want a commitment with a person who isn't confident and unable to provide for the both of you?
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 32
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 4:19:06 PM
This is a clear case of wanting one's cake and eating it, too. This man is trying to maneuver you into a Friends with Benefits type of relationship, where he benefits, and he is none too friendly. If you are comfortable with being someone's prostitute for free, then by all means, engage, but if you are actually looking for a genuine relationship with someone replete with exclusivity and commitment, then you might need to move on. This man likes you and thinks you are "okay," but he does not see you as relationship material. If he did, he would have never made the comment in the first place for fear of scaring you off. But you see, he can take or leave you, so you have your answer. If I were you, I'd bolt. Why waste your time with someone that will never love you?
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 33
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 7:58:08 PM

so why is it a problem them if he doesn't want a relationship if i start hanging out with other people.

Because like all dogs he wants to go back to the vomit whenever he can.. not my quote by the way ... it's Dr.Phils ! He is trying to condition you to abuse and you are feeding yourself right into it..
HE DIDN'T NEED TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SEEKING NEW FRIENDSHIPS OR ROMANCE.. when will women get this .. ffs .. you owe this guy who has decided you aren't "worth it" ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

YOU ARE wasting valuable planetary and brain time on a dimtwinkie.. if you develop some real genuine caring for yourself you'd never ever give anyone like this the time of day.. he hinders all you can be and all of who you should be.. don't talk to this guy .. don't answer his emails, don't waste emotional time hung up on a dish rag for a man..

Investments in your life you owe yourself.. you owe him nothing and if you continue communicating with him you will come out empty.. leave it be and move along .. you owe yourself a great life.. you owe him nothing..
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 34
view profile
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 9:29:00 PM
I'm with IgorFrankensteen on this one. Presupposing your man friend is genuine, why are you not listening to him? You've been seeing him 3 months. He is being exclusive with you. You are already in a 'relationship' my friend. What's the rush? You've found a goal oriented and patient man. Work with him at his pace, or you will lose him....
If I were this man I'd have kicked your ass out the door the moment you said you wanted to see other people. What's with that anyway? Just some dumb test to try and make him jealous or to force a commitment from him?
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 35
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/28/2012 9:44:53 PM
talk to him face to BS on both your parts to text....what a chicken s hit way to adults....i think he needs to be a man and talk up and you need to be a woman and do the same....petty BS.....once you talk face to face, you can like his answers or not...same with him...quit dancing around issues, both of you!!
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 37
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/29/2012 7:28:54 AM
He wants to be friends with benefits. Be his friend if you want, cut out the benefits if you want, but whatever you do, DON'T take him seriously and do whatever you want on your free time. You're not married.
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 38
view profile
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/29/2012 7:43:52 AM
He says he does not want a relationship right now
He says he is trying to get his finances in order so he can't afford to date
He says you are trying to lock him down and he cannot get together with his friends

How many ways does this guy have to tell you that he considers you a FB at best?
He appears to have the money and desire to get together with friends but cannot scrape up $20 to take you out. But he is more than willing to do the humpty dance on the weekends. Provided you don't leave the house together or you go out with anyone else.
Do you see anything wrong with this picture, anything at all?
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 39
doesn't want a relationship
Posted: 10/29/2012 9:41:12 AM
well you should run run run leave him he just wants in your pants and to be free to go into others. im open to a real anything goes relationship commitment and excitement what could be better, a glow in the dark bj?
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