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 AUTHOR
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 7
dating the old way better than internet?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
the common method of finding a significant other was to meet in person. When you meet in person, there are subtle things going on in the background of the consciousness. When you meet a total stranger in person, the field from which you subconciously gather data points about your possible compatibility


It STILL IS ! Anyone who gives much weight to anything some stranger wrote in a "profile" online is participating in the game of "fool me once, your fault".

Until after that most important "first meet" IRL, believe NOTHING written as absolute fact,
and don't even believe that any online pictures are real or current.
As OP appears to be so new here (think I really really believe all that?), there is some allowance for inexperience given. But not for long.


 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 8
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 10/29/2012 8:04:13 AM
Here's the thing: offline you can only meet people who you actually come into contact with, some way, somehow.
The online thing allows you to (theoretically) come in contact with a lot more people. If you live in a populous area where a good percentage of the population is the gender/orientation that interests you. and available, then sure, offline meeting will be the way to go. But for folks who have much smaller pool to draw from, the 'net can be helpful.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 9
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History
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 10/29/2012 8:06:15 AM
This is just a way for people to connect. After you meet them, they're just people. The same rules apply that always have when getting to know a new person.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 10
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History
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 10/29/2012 8:37:03 AM
OP
You are not using the site correctly if your going on dates before meeting someone. Learn to do meet
and greets. When you do, the dating site will work for you.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 11
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History
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 10/29/2012 1:13:32 PM
Oh, I don't think attacking motown is the best idea.....
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 12
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 10/29/2012 2:53:53 PM
I don't really know. I know I have been trying to compare the real world to these waters but, I'm pretty sure I get people upset and peeved off with me just as fast here as I do in the real world. Saving grace is here I don't get slapped in the face as much, but, then again, I don't get to pinch any young ass here either( I miss it). Six of one, half dozen of the other.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 16
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 10/30/2012 11:40:12 PM
internet dating doesnt really help many people. in fact, for most people id say it does the opposite. i used to think that the profiles on here would give you a better chance at finding someone compatible, but with most of the profles, and the pics, being mostly lies, it doesnt work out that way.

i prefer to meet people in person. im a very open and friendly guy and i tend to strike up conversations with random people. it doesnt take any effort at all and ive found new friends and gotten dates like that. in person, you get a much better idea what someone is really about.

if i were a woman i might give online dating a try, but i dont think any men should use the net for dating.
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 17
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dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 10/31/2012 3:52:56 AM

if i were a woman i might give online dating a try, but i dont think any men should use the net for dating


Why not?? It saves me the hassle of actually having to approach a female. lol Some females have hit me up on here. I find internet easy and less of a hassle.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 10/31/2012 6:23:34 AM

The primary problem with online dateing is also it best selling point - Choices, Choices, Choices ! I don't believe we can handle all the choices.

This must be regional. I can't say myself or any of my friends were ever disheartened over the absolute deluge of choices we have online or offline...unless you mean the infinite number of people we're not really looking for. Again, I live in a small state, so maybe in other areas the number of valid desirable choices is overwhelming. I guess I'd have to ask what that's like.

I do believe they want to sell us the option of choice (or the illusion of it). Choice to me means things I'd actually consider, so perhaps I'm getting the meaning of that sentence wrong.

I believe that for most of us (here, anyway) we're going to see where something goes should it materialize. And if we're healthy and smart, we'll not feel incomplete without it.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 20
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 10/31/2012 12:04:54 PM
In reality things have not changed at all.

In real life you can meet a person, but you do not know if they are available, single, married, looking, not looking. You can have an exchange that last 10 minutes, you find each other attracted, yet at that point realize the reality of their availability.

The problem that many people have online is that they spend an endless amount of time online. So by the time they meet in person, one or the other feel disappointed. Now, for those that understand that for online to work, it means meet IN PERSON, quickly, and treat that first meeting not so much as a date but as a meet, then we are back into what nature intended.
 WantsTantra
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 21
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 10/31/2012 1:04:22 PM
I've done both the "old" and the "net" and find it all to be a relative cr&p shoot. I've had set-ups from family, friends, chance meetings, and of course the good ole net. One constant is you never know what you're getting! "Getting" of course has many connotations. Since FICO scores, current drinking or drug issues, mental or physical issues, prior arrests, work history, lifestyles, and so on are not part of some "certified" selection process one cannot "dig" quickly. Of course, things of this nature can be worked out if synergy exists. But, it'd be nice if we knew about "stuff" ahead of time so we can focus elsewhere if we wanted to.

I've done the OK Cu9id thing, had a 99% match and ended up dating that person briefly. Profile(s) said wanting something monogamous long-term, actions said another. Does that disprove the "walk like duck/quack like duck/look like duck/it's a duck theory"? eHarm&ny was not productive by their matching system for me. One good thing about OK Cu9id is they allow you to answer all the questions you want. I was surprised by some females my age and older who still admitted to using drugs, even so called "soft drugs" like mari7uana. It also seems I've heard of one woman near me on Chri$tianMin9le got scammed real bad. I'm sure she's scarred for life; where do good people go to meet someone? Again time and common sense comes into play I guess.

As one smart woman said on her profile, "the internet is a tool for meeting people". I agree with her 100%. I just try to avoid conversations/chats/emails that go nowhere. I have seen one woman's profile on POF where she asked "can men send an email with more than 3 words"? I ask can a woman formulate questions and provide responses other than "no", "yes", or "maybe". It got so bad on here I put in my profile "ask me my favorite color" as a conversation starter. I think the net is a good tool if both parties participate.

I think someone in here mentioned it was best to do the old way and the 'net. Sounds best to me, along with time and luck. Theoretically the 'net should speed the dating process up.

One way that was used back home, as a friend of mine jokingly said (but at the same time realistically), "this woman dates Joe because he has 40 acres". I didn't have 40 acres at the time so was s.o.l. for the most part. Other times you had to get a woman pregnant on the first date in order to secure a second date. I know I know Deliverance comes to mind, not my style. It was that hokey. Hopefully better chances now being I'm in a more urban area?

Roll them dice.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 22
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/2/2012 3:29:12 PM
Internet dating is NOT designed to work, the old way is definitely better. Remember, these sites are a business, they rely on their subscriptions to make money. People do meet people and get somewhere on these sites, but it's rare

From the perspective of your options of people to meet: The guys on these sites are the guys not getting dates offline. For the same reason they're not getting dates offline, they're going to have trouble getting dates online. The women are the same way, they're here because they're not getting dates offline, so that reason still exists online. And then you throw in the design of messaging, there's ALWAYS a better guy that messaged that same girl, because we're all going to try to go for the hot girl, who somehow isn't getting dates easily offline? which goes back to the first point I made. And then there's the luxury of choice for them. Basically it's undatable people trying to date undatable people, but they can't get that date because they're undatable.

In social interaction: How often in public do people just completely ignore your existence when you say "hi" to them? Offline, conversation happens, it's effortless, you can actually bet on any random girl actually carrying a conversation with you, assuming you have the balls to talk to her. Online, if you get a response out of the 50+ messages it averages out to to get one, that every one of those women expect something custom written for them, and they're the only person you messaged, then you're lucky. Offline, if a girl isn't interested in you, she'll tell you, if you ask her out, she'll say no. On these sites, "i get too many messages to say no to every one of them".

Your first date, the thing that makes or breaks where you get: What do you typically talk about? Find out what each other does, find out about their past, what they like to do, etc... Online, that entire first date is in the profile. The profile exists to replace your first conversations on a date, leaving you as little to talk about as possible, so you end up back here.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 23
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/2/2012 8:09:37 PM
rockstar: good post man. i agree with pretty much all of that. aside from a few exceptions, what you describe is what people can expect on here. also the reason i no longer use the net for dating.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 29
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/6/2012 9:38:17 AM
I agree with im a rockstar: Too many "undatables".

Very poor selection of people. I'm female, so my experience was with the male players, users, abusers, chronically single, lairs, flakes, misrepresenting their marital status, herpes, alcohol and drug addicts, on and on, so many of the same types, unemployed, living at home, no car...impatient, pushy, wanting to hook up ASAP, looking for a free hooker, yet having nothing redeemable to offer themselves.

Just...yuck.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 30
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/6/2012 10:03:00 AM
When most people talk about dating "the old way", they are really talking about the way they met people when they were in high school and college: seeing the same people, all about the same age, all mostly single, in class on a regular basis, and having the time and opportunity to 'hang out' with people when not in class.

People get out of school and find out that adult life does not provide them with constant opportunities to interact with a population of preselected potential dates, or the time needed to meet and get to know them. People use various activities to try to replicate the student social experience: bars, clubs, special interest organizations, volunteering, the bookstore, the laundrymat, the dog park, etc.. None of those ever quite work for most, and so they end up looking online......

Someday someone will figure out how real adults find people to date.......
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 31
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/6/2012 10:22:56 AM
I'm waiting for the time when POF profiles go 3D. That way, when a woman's profile says she has a few extra pounds, you can get a 3D image to see if it's a few dozen extra pounds, and when people describe their body type as athletic, you can see if their athletics involve putting a bottle of beer to their lips.
 Green_Jello44
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 32
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History
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/6/2012 10:31:19 AM
Dating the old way would be fine...if the internet didn't exist. The grass is greener mentality would be swamped a bit. The only advantage of IRL, is that you don't have to deal with fake pics, and can tell if there is attraction, without all the weird digital behavior of dating sites.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 33
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/6/2012 7:52:14 PM
Online dating gives a person more potential options. That can be both a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing is a person find dates with people that (s)he otherwise wouldn't have seen. The bad thing is some people raise their expectations. If there isn't instant fireworks or someone doesn't exactly match a long list of requirements, the other person quickly loses interest.
 fenderccinka
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 34
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dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/23/2012 11:46:44 PM
First off i agree that this online thing is very lacking, one of the main reasons is because exactly what you said, all you have is a pic and a generally low profile, ie:your not saying anything about yourself, cause most of the time, you rairly get what someone means anymore unless they put an lol or w/e.

Thias may be sexist, or the greatest secret reveiled/known by a guy, but in this day and age, the "relationship" is kind of goign out of style, ie:A woman, has her smart phone on her, wakes up next to it, and falls asleep next to it, does nto need a bf, cause they have the emotional support for people on facebook, and better yet for them, when they do get lonely, they can phone up any guy they choose and get cuddles, all the wile, gainging up with other woman and joking about puppy dog guys online, waiting on thei hands and feet to say, i am sorry to hear that, and there there.

I do agree that meeting soon after you get contacted is a good idea, and it is true that it should be part of human evolution, cause technology was supposed to be implamented to help people, not hinder them.

Green Jellow, i kind of agree with you, i weigh 142 lbs and skateboard, i am athletic, and am not ashamed of my body, so if peopel are not ashamed with how they look, why not have it 3d..
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 35
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/24/2012 3:51:30 PM
I think it's how you perceive it, though. For those apprehensive with the Internet, or see it as a (sigh) alternative -- yes, they're going to have a different mindset.

But like at a bar or party, you first meet them when you meet them. They're a stranger both ways. And from the Internet, you at least get to connect a bit where, when you do meet, and things match up with what they were represented by, they aren't so much a stranger.

For all practical purposes, if one doesn't have any issues with the "internet" concept in the back of their minds, when you meet shouldn't be worse (and perhaps a bit better) than meeting someone at a bar. Now some people can have issues with "the bar", too -- and there, they're total strangers. No pre-communication.

So it's about how people perceive it. The only negative side to the internet is the scoping process -- not the meeting process for those willing to meet. They won't give the chance TO meet to someone they WOULD "in real life", because yes, they have "standards". Everything's quantitative, so one's image of "standards" is very important to them -- it's held to a higher standard of taste & acceptance by peers than meeting a total stranger somewhere else. So it's about having chances -- many people are far more pickier when it comes to possibly meeting someone from online.

But when you do meet, assuming both parties aren't wacked out about the "internet" concept, I don't think it's bad. That's where the potential good can come out of it, when compared to other sources.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 36
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/24/2012 4:02:45 PM

Plus you also need a constant stream of new people to meet, which these days isn't possible.

Why not?
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 37
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 11/27/2012 2:31:24 PM
That constant stream of new people is possible if you live in a densely populated area, or if you work in some industries. For others, that stream is going to be hard to find.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 43
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 12/28/2012 8:03:22 AM
Old fashioned way goes like this. You go to a bar, have a few drinks, talk to three girls, two are married and the third one has a boyfriend, but is definitely looking. You get Zero phone numbers. Zero dates.

Online you are on your underwear, scratch your balls and type away. Send 30 messages. Nine women find what you had to say funny, interesting, two say you are not their type, the thanks but no thanks. Three send you the form letter from the website. No problemo. Out of the nine women three keep emailing. Two are ready to be asked out. One even throws you her phone number. You establish two dates, or shall I call them first meets. Call the two of them. They do not respond. They rarely do, since they do not know who is calling them. I leave a message. I get a call an hour later. We talk, laugh.
Ready to meet. Date.

If we like each other. One moves to date two. The other one goes away. If dates do not work out, it's back to step one.
Number of dates that can be have a week? Two.

So, which one would I rather do?
 rockstar_nj1182
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 44
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 12/28/2012 9:25:41 AM
Personally, I think the old way is infintely better than the internet.

The main reason: How many messages does it take to even get a response vs how easy is it to start a conversation with someone offline? I think these sites really bring out the shallow in all of us
 Avenged7f0ld
Joined: 7/20/2012
Msg: 45
dating the old way better than internet?
Posted: 1/4/2013 7:19:29 AM
It's not a case of internet vs offline, it's a case of having to work for it vs having it fed to you. In the old days fathers taught their sons HOW to chat up a girl and get her interested, now the average guy has to pick between his single mother's "treat ladies with respect and be a doormat", and the latest issue of men's health telling him he needs to bench 300, make $100,000 a year, drive a Benz, and last from dusk till dawn in bed to be "a real man". It's not the internet that's ruined dating, it's modern society, media, peer pressure, and disposable people that's ruined dating.
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