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 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 840
Favorites List?????Page 13 of 46    (6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46)
Yep, 41 pages with no signs of stopping. And some people “still” think this isn’t a contentious issue?

Look, for those that believe not writing to people with huge fav counts is somehow a sign of insecurity, jealousy, or whatever, I would love to do a completely unbiased, random, anonymous test and see just how many would think twice about writing someone with a 1,000+ on their profiles – including the ones that have defended fav counts, men and women. I suspect even the ones that are vociferously “pro” favs would hesitate.

All I know is from the feedback I get with my own fav count (which is nothing compared to most women), the “perception” of many is negative. Women just react very unfavorably seeing anything even approaching a high count -- it's human nature. I have no idea why I'm getting such resistance from people that won't even acknowledge such basic human psychology?

Some have accused me of making blanket judgments or being grossly unfair to those that have no problem with being added to a zillion lists. If you read my post history in here you can see that’s a lot of bunk. I’ve been balanced, fair, and reasonable. What I got in return was a lot of misdirection and personal attacks.

I’m not going to do the back and forth dance again, so to those that love to cloud the issue with grade school debating tactics and self-righteous petulance I guess you'll have the last word.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 842
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/18/2008 1:41:18 PM
Look, for those that believe not writing to people with huge fav counts is somehow a sign of insecurity, jealousy, or whatever, I would love to do a completely unbiased, random, anonymous test and see just how many would think twice about writing someone with a 1,000+ on their profiles – including the ones that have defended fav counts, men and women. I suspect even the ones that are vociferously “pro” favs would hesitate.


I would not think of myself as "pro" any thing. I only speak of peoples bad logic while create big opinion about some one because of so little. Still, why would I hesitate? You can not claim a person will do some thing if you do not have logic reason to back this up.

The reason for hesitate given in this thread do not apply to me. I am not paranoid to think a person is playing games base only on a number. I am not jealous of attention, and a number is not alway evident of so much attention. I do not need sudden reply from person, if it take many day to hear from him, I am okie. I am not insecure and say a person with so much attention can not be interest in me.

Granted I do not have 1000+ favorite me but the concept given that most or all people are so worry about the number, is silly. It remind me of the statement "no one goes to that restaurant, because it is alway too crowded."


All I know is from the feedback I get with my own fav count (which is nothing compared to most women), the “perception” of many is negative. Women just react very unfavorably seeing anything even approaching a high count -- it's human nature. I have no idea why I'm getting such resistance from people that won't even acknowledge such basic human psychology?


Because it is not. You claim that so many women have complain of your number. Only one person ever say any thing of mine. If the true is that men email women more than the reverse, I should get so many more complain email than you with similar number. I can agree than many have problem with favorites but you can not discount the many who do not.


Some have accused me of making blanket judgments or being grossly unfair to those that have no problem with being added to a zillion lists. If you read my post history in here you can see that’s a lot of bunk. I’ve been balanced, fair, and reasonable. What I got in return was a lot of misdirection and personal attacks.


Do not pretend to be victim. Yourself have made negative statements, change subjects and refused to answer on topic questions (in thread and in email). Yes, as I mention before, I saw what you edit out of previous message to me.


I’m not going to do the back and forth dance again, so to those that love to cloud the issue with grade school debating tactics and self-righteous petulance I guess you'll have the last word.


This is evident of you being victim and other people doing attacks? You are the one who change the subject many time. From what high number mean, to your wish of hideing number, to type of pictures people use. Still after I ask many time in thread and in reply to your email, you never answer my original question to you. So for the type who cloud issue and is not try to understand other side nor help other side understand you, look into a mirror.

Because your word say you will not reply, I will give final advise. Do not take forum so seriously. Disagreement is not insult to you. Explain your point of view do not mean others must agree and they should not be insulted if they do not.

Good luck. :)
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 844
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/18/2008 1:46:43 PM


boy has my thread post ever been taken out of context the only person on this thread that understood what I said was Mo......Harly no offense but if you ever reach over 400 favorites i will sand paper my nuts and dip them in a jar of pickles while singing the knightrider tune!!!


I was speaking about high volume traffic people.


I will guess Harley get much more attention and traffic than you realise, especially from forum. Perhap you should consider this before makeing stupid attempt at insult.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 846
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/18/2008 2:24:15 PM

All I know is from the feedback I get with my own fav count (which is nothing compared to most women), the “perception” of many is negative. Women just react very unfavorably seeing anything even approaching a high count -- it's human nature. I have no idea why I'm getting such resistance from people that won't even acknowledge such basic human psychology?


I get about 4-10 emails a day from women I have never been in contact with, very few mention how many woman put me in there fav list,

If by a small chance I'm not contacted by a woman who sees, that I was put in some other persons favorite list ,, frankly I don't care,, ( by the way their are some men there too, we are friends from this site, or guys I already have know, it makes it easier to find some me,,
I would rather have a woman look beyond that, and many do, and the ones who don't I'll never know, unless they read this and say, I would have contacted you, but you had to many fav..

Even though I do not contact women as a rule, if,, that woman made my heart skip a beat,, I wouldn't care if she had 5000 in her fav list,, I would take a chance and contact her...
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 847
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/18/2008 4:12:27 PM
People pay attention to the favorites list?

I don't even bother. I just noticed today that someone added me to her favorites list like two weeks ago.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 849
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/18/2008 5:23:51 PM
People pay attention to the favorites list?


41 pages worth...

Edit: Shark B here it is: http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1485062.aspx
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 851
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/18/2008 6:27:08 PM
Hey Bullie! Kitty loves ya, babe! ;O)

Wow...amazing how this thread just makes people and !

Oh...and Shark...

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1485062.aspx

Edit to add...OOps! Didn't see the edit with the link already!
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 858
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/21/2008 5:39:47 PM
OK...I agree with Eddie that this ^^ is a bad example...lol...however, comparing the faves list to bad breath, crooked teeth, and how one dresses....silly! LOL

What you are not getting is, that some people have larger faves lists simply because they have BEEN here longer...they spend a lot of time in the forums...they host...etc. So to judge someone on such, is plain silly. If nothing else....TRY to get to know the person and THEN determine if your prejudging is accurate or not. :)

Sorry...but I really despise people who pass judgments on someone without knowing them. I was actually told by someone that I was "too much of a party girl" simply because of my involvement hosting the parties...and being a very social person. Kinda hilarious to me, actually...because when I am in a relationship, I am a homebody for the most part! LOL
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 861
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/21/2008 6:28:51 PM
LOL, I am sure I have seen it or others...but those are not the majority...they are the minority.

If you wanna mock those...then post a thread on "absofvckinglutely ridiculous profiles!" Not the faves lists!

Those sorts are responsible for being on such high numbers...they solicit such and it's a challenge or a game to them. But the MAJORITY of them are not.
 A-DEVOTED-ROMANTIC
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 863
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/22/2008 11:57:26 AM
Well I feel the favs list should be hidden by choice like Motown said earlier or deleted completely.

Also if the favs list is left on for all to see it should be kept to those that leave testimonials only not just everyone. there has to be some way to come to a reasonable easy understanding here.

This may be bias to alot but i look at favs number, testimonials, pictures and profiles essays.

now i have seen a few ladies that have in upwards of 3000 favs and no testimonials and a short profile but the lady is beautiful so what does that say, then i see a lady that has a down right negative profile cussin and down right rude and still a ton of favs but not nearly a few hundred.

Too me it is just a matter of laziness on either profile men or women,

I avoid people with more than 50 favs in ther profile I feel that if your as popular as that then where do i stand with you if we dated or wht not I am not going to be a conquoring idiot. another notch on a bed post or what not.

I am not nor will I be a player and regret anyone that is like that casue all in all with that much so called popularity you are truely going to miss out on your one and finally true last love.

In regards to like my favs list I keep mine under like say 25-30 i will put thoise i find interesting and if I try to chat with them and they never respond or i send an e-mail and no responce with in like a week DELETE THEY GO AND I WRITE A NOTE IN MY COMPUTER ABOUT THIS SO I CAN LOOK BACK AND SEE DID I EVER SEE THIS ONE.

As far as I am concerned I would be more than glad to see favs list gone or optional to each member preferably GONE GONE GONE...

If your really interested in friends or partners keep a log on your own that way you will remember who is who and not look like a suger daddy or a sugar lady

~~(DR)~~
 Gumbo_YahYah
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 866
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/22/2008 1:00:06 PM
42 pages..........WOW........
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 870
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/29/2008 3:42:24 PM
Everyone who has added me has actually contacted me, and been very kind. Oddly enough due to some of my off the hook pictures and posts, I actually get more nice comments than not!!! I tend to say it how it is, but some really like it. Some do not. Whatever. I would have to say only 3 people have made it to the "blocked" list and have been rude. 2 of them were women telling me to stop showing skin. Yeah, okay. People that I have added to MY own favorites are people that have made some sort of impressive comment(s), or seem very real. And I normally will contact them to tell them "hey, I like what you said or how you think." I used to not even like this whole concept, but in all honesty I have met and spoken to some really neat people. It also gives me a better understanding of who they are. Not just a profile, which can be made up.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 872
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/31/2008 1:40:58 AM
^^^^ What is the purpose of bring this thread up from days ago to reply to a point made weeks ago to say a point you have repeat for months?

To repeat that some people lack logic and do judge so quickly because of a number will not make people care more. If I were desperate type to need attention from everybody includeing even these ignorant type who judge so much because of a number, I promise, I would erase it. But I am not desperate. I am happy with not careing. :)

Beside the term "attention whore" is interestingly use here. Your reason for eraseing this number is to gain more attention from the people who would view it negatively. What would you call yourself?
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 876
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/31/2008 8:50:55 PM
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
I call it smart, Using my head for something besides a hat rack. I call it opening my eyes and seeing what is really there. I understand what the list was meant to be used for. I understand it's intention. But for the most part it isn't being used for that and that is what's bugging people and turning them against it.


Tell me, what is the intent of that number? I did not see the post from any admin to say this. It appear to be a number to show how many other people have me on their favorite list. If you read more into this, that is up to you.

To worry of what these illogical and judgemental people think of me and change profile to gain their attention smart. I call it desperate for attention from every person, if it do not matter who.

The irony of your use of "attention whore" is that you are the one worry of getting all the attention possible, not me who accord to you am getting less than I can.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 880
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/4/2008 5:49:57 AM

I just skip the ones with more than 20 on thier list, I figure with 20 or more they probably have 2-3 dates a week and playing, on the other hand if I put some one on my list I'll attempt to make contact, no reply to e-mail or Im.........they get deleted


I am on 300 and do not have date plan this weekend.
 texastomich
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 885
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/6/2008 8:29:05 AM
I have a lot on mine and didn't even realize it until someone told me about it. Most people just add someone to theres without saying hello...oh well, makes me feel good though having people add me, its nice
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 888
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/6/2008 5:09:25 PM
There are many forum posters who have high fav lists.


Ahh....I have a mushy spot for those who are observant. More often thatn not, this is exactly the situation.

Those that have "favorited" me...we've exchanged some type of contact/interaction. Those few that haven't, I don't feel the compulsion to scroll through and "clean out", because how DARE they and not talk to me...pfft...that's absurd.

Most do and some ask, those that don't...why the heck would I care? Oh yeah...wouldn't want to appear to be an "attention whore" EGAD or a "collector". for some assumed ego boost.

This thread and all the other ones, does serve a purpose. I'm only saying this again, because I'm OLD and can...haha. It's helpful that some of you point out who you are, and dang it, I've made so many tin hats. I should write Reynolds and get a sponsorship, I have no aluminum foil left. (If anyone can hook me up...Aloca, if they're stilll in business...haha)
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 889
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/6/2008 6:04:25 PM

I just skip the ones with more than 20 on thier list
Humph...then you could be missing out on someone.


I figure with 20 or more they probably have 2-3 dates a week and playing
Really? WTH? You "figure" wrong, better check your "figure" barometer then. Seems your lil radar detector is off more than a smidge. This doesn't mean people with a lot of favorites are dating, sleeping with or playing on a rotating basis with their favorites. ....how bizarre of a thought process is that?


There are many forum posters who have high fav lists. Being on the list for that reason is different than some hot man or woman being on lists because they are hot and because they like the attention.
The majority of mine are forum posters.


And after 42 pages you have not found a way to grasp that somehow yet? For the love of gawd
*Sighs* Some people never learn, nor do they heed what has been written by people who _do_ have a lot of favorites.

Every time this topic is resurrected it's those who usually complain and point fingers about not getting enough dates, response to their messages, read/deletes, read/undeleted, not enough views, not enough first contacts blah, blah, blah........and the ones who do have more favorites than those who complain about this have to come in here and defend their numbers. If you don't have enough confidence to contact someone with more favorites than you THINK they should have, then move on to someone who you can judge more precisely based on your preconceived notion of how THEY use their list then, see how that works for ya. *shrugs* Or can you read minds? But just remember you could miss out. Just sayin'.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 891
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/6/2008 6:38:29 PM

I'd rather hook up with someone who is secure enough to not need to keep a big following of guys they're not interested in
You are now assuming. Most of us that post in these forums regularly have both men and women on their favorites and we track each others postings. There's no "need" to it, everyone uses this function in differing ways. And you'd be surprised how many of us in fact do touch base on a semi-regular basis.

*thinks, hmm, it IS time of year to plant the tulips*
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 895
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:53:08 AM
^^^^ EDDIE!!!! :) You never answer my question to you before. :(

The funny thing of anecdotal evidence when we do not have to give name, is we can say any thing we want of people. While you may be know a person who do this, I have never meet anyone like this, and I have meet and speak to many people of both sex.



IMO ... if someone has a high amount of faves I don't assume they are dating often - I assume they need to show off how "popular" they are. If someone wants to assume I'm shallow , insecure as a result that's fine.


I am not think insecure or shallow, I only think you sound like every person who look at stranger and say "look at her, she think she is so much better than me" base only on her wealth or look. They do not know this person to make this opinion, it only make them feel better to tear down person who have what they wish for themself or other ilogical reason.

Again, the true is most people with high number do not check their number. I do not "keep" a list, I do not even think of it. Is more effort to erase the number which have zero effect on my life than leave this number which have zero effect on my life. The side effect of weed out the people who think like you, is more reason to keep.

I do not try to impress you, I do not even notice you. I already have enough attention without a number (everybody had zero at some time). You can think this is braging, or you can accept it as statement of fact. It only depend on your own mind since reality do not matter to some.


They probably have a high numero of Facebook friends also , which is also bogus cuz how many of those people do they actually touch base with on even a semi regular basis and if not then what's the point ?


POF favourites is not same as "friends" on any site. Facebook friends is also different because I can stay in touch through update every day or week through updates even if I do not speak to them.
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 898
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/7/2008 5:30:51 AM
Since the following poster likes to generalize, I'm going to be a prick and destroy said post:



No - YOU are insecure to NEED to have that high number on your profile. Like " look how popular I am " . Like some phony validation.


Translation: "Hi. I'm projecting my own insecurities on other people; nobody pays attention to me or puts me on their favorites list and I have trust issues."



They probably have a high numero of Facebook friends also , which is also bogus cuz how many of those people do they actually touch base with on even a semi regular basis and if not then what's the point ?


Translation: "I hate Facebook because my girlfriend (whom of which I never met or knew very well) broke up with me for being a 'stalker'. Why doesn't anyone love me? :crying:




No, I'd rather hook up with someone who is secure enough to not need to keep a big following of guys they're not interested in but don't remove cuz they need that high number oh so desperately.


Translation: "I rather hook up with someone just as insecure as I do and feels the same way. That way, we can constantly accuse one another of cheating everytime one of us works late, or picks up a burrito at Taco Bell.

This way, when we have children, we can completely screw up their heads by using them as an object to attack my now divorced ex-wife/husband."







Yes, we are popular. And we have a secret handshake and use a language you would NEVER understand.



Ahk Naa Weep Nini Baum Baum.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 903
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:20:50 AM

Yeah, but even when you put them on your favourites list AND contact them, some don't even give you the courtesy of a reply, so you can't win whatever direction you take ! Lol

There is an up side to that,,you find out quite early if they are rude or not. so it's just as well we don't get replays,,,,,

Many of the woman who fav me,, follow my forums for one reason or another,, and we will pass a comment every now and then,, I also have heard it said,, some woman put men in there fav list as a flirt, and I have no way of knowing,, awhile ago,, I used to try and contact them but they have to many restrictions,, so I have no clue how all that works,, it's nice to know someone finds us interesting for what ever reason,, no harm in adding some one if you choose,, I don't unless we became some sort of friends,, or I'm truly interested in her,,and even then not until there might be a connection,, so my list is small,,,
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 907
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:36:37 AM

But either way you cut it for the most part if a person doesn't keep the favorites list trimmed in the general POF public eye it still looks bad
Says who? You? And some others floating around? Ok then. We shall now recongnize your new job at PoF as "favorites trimmer advisor" then.


because no one has any idea if the person is favored simply because of there forum post or because of something more sinister.
No, they don't have any idea, so what? That's just a bit judgmental. Like judging someone if they have tatoo's etc.... Sinister? WTH? Ah, now favorites lists are "sinister", talk about judging a book. Wonder if Big Fish knows this? Wonder if he knows that "sinister" connotation is lurking at the bottoms of everyone's page here.

Sure the T&A shots will get lots of men adding those to their favorites, everyone knows that. But it seems that SOME here think that's the way all use this list. Not so. And usually if one who is spouting off about it, it could be that's the way THEY use it, I don't know as I can't read minds. Just conjecture and thinking aloud.

The point here that a lot of people are attempting to make, is that the list is used many different ways. Period.


has it ever occured to you that perhaps they are just good, smart, funny people who other good, smart, funny people appreciate?
DING, DING, DING, we have a winner. Leave it to *smart lass* to sum it up nicely and make every word count as to how sometimes this list is used. There are some truly funny, witty, intelligent, thought provoking people on this site.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 912
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/10/2008 3:54:21 PM
You wouldn't believe the flack I get for being on 405 favorite lists. Men write me and say you are on 405 favorite lists and you are still single? Why? Like it's my fault I'm on these lists. They tell me I'm too picky and I should not focus so much on looks. All this because of these silly favorite lists. I thought this was a dating website, not a popularity contest!
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 915
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/12/2008 2:55:18 PM
Being on a lot of mens' favorite lists does NOT mean you are a serial dater!!!!!
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