Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 872
Favorites List?????Page 27 of 46    (6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46)
^^^^ What is the purpose of bring this thread up from days ago to reply to a point made weeks ago to say a point you have repeat for months?

To repeat that some people lack logic and do judge so quickly because of a number will not make people care more. If I were desperate type to need attention from everybody includeing even these ignorant type who judge so much because of a number, I promise, I would erase it. But I am not desperate. I am happy with not careing. :)

Beside the term "attention whore" is interestingly use here. Your reason for eraseing this number is to gain more attention from the people who would view it negatively. What would you call yourself?
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 876
Favorites List?????
Posted: 10/31/2008 8:50:55 PM
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
I call it smart, Using my head for something besides a hat rack. I call it opening my eyes and seeing what is really there. I understand what the list was meant to be used for. I understand it's intention. But for the most part it isn't being used for that and that is what's bugging people and turning them against it.


Tell me, what is the intent of that number? I did not see the post from any admin to say this. It appear to be a number to show how many other people have me on their favorite list. If you read more into this, that is up to you.

To worry of what these illogical and judgemental people think of me and change profile to gain their attention smart. I call it desperate for attention from every person, if it do not matter who.

The irony of your use of "attention whore" is that you are the one worry of getting all the attention possible, not me who accord to you am getting less than I can.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 880
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/4/2008 5:49:57 AM

I just skip the ones with more than 20 on thier list, I figure with 20 or more they probably have 2-3 dates a week and playing, on the other hand if I put some one on my list I'll attempt to make contact, no reply to e-mail or Im.........they get deleted


I am on 300 and do not have date plan this weekend.
 texastomich
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 885
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/6/2008 8:29:05 AM
I have a lot on mine and didn't even realize it until someone told me about it. Most people just add someone to theres without saying hello...oh well, makes me feel good though having people add me, its nice
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 888
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/6/2008 5:09:25 PM
There are many forum posters who have high fav lists.


Ahh....I have a mushy spot for those who are observant. More often thatn not, this is exactly the situation.

Those that have "favorited" me...we've exchanged some type of contact/interaction. Those few that haven't, I don't feel the compulsion to scroll through and "clean out", because how DARE they and not talk to me...pfft...that's absurd.

Most do and some ask, those that don't...why the heck would I care? Oh yeah...wouldn't want to appear to be an "attention whore" EGAD or a "collector". for some assumed ego boost.

This thread and all the other ones, does serve a purpose. I'm only saying this again, because I'm OLD and can...haha. It's helpful that some of you point out who you are, and dang it, I've made so many tin hats. I should write Reynolds and get a sponsorship, I have no aluminum foil left. (If anyone can hook me up...Aloca, if they're stilll in business...haha)
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 889
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/6/2008 6:04:25 PM

I just skip the ones with more than 20 on thier list
Humph...then you could be missing out on someone.


I figure with 20 or more they probably have 2-3 dates a week and playing
Really? WTH? You "figure" wrong, better check your "figure" barometer then. Seems your lil radar detector is off more than a smidge. This doesn't mean people with a lot of favorites are dating, sleeping with or playing on a rotating basis with their favorites. ....how bizarre of a thought process is that?


There are many forum posters who have high fav lists. Being on the list for that reason is different than some hot man or woman being on lists because they are hot and because they like the attention.
The majority of mine are forum posters.


And after 42 pages you have not found a way to grasp that somehow yet? For the love of gawd
*Sighs* Some people never learn, nor do they heed what has been written by people who _do_ have a lot of favorites.

Every time this topic is resurrected it's those who usually complain and point fingers about not getting enough dates, response to their messages, read/deletes, read/undeleted, not enough views, not enough first contacts blah, blah, blah........and the ones who do have more favorites than those who complain about this have to come in here and defend their numbers. If you don't have enough confidence to contact someone with more favorites than you THINK they should have, then move on to someone who you can judge more precisely based on your preconceived notion of how THEY use their list then, see how that works for ya. *shrugs* Or can you read minds? But just remember you could miss out. Just sayin'.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 891
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/6/2008 6:38:29 PM

I'd rather hook up with someone who is secure enough to not need to keep a big following of guys they're not interested in
You are now assuming. Most of us that post in these forums regularly have both men and women on their favorites and we track each others postings. There's no "need" to it, everyone uses this function in differing ways. And you'd be surprised how many of us in fact do touch base on a semi-regular basis.

*thinks, hmm, it IS time of year to plant the tulips*
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 895
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:53:08 AM
^^^^ EDDIE!!!! :) You never answer my question to you before. :(

The funny thing of anecdotal evidence when we do not have to give name, is we can say any thing we want of people. While you may be know a person who do this, I have never meet anyone like this, and I have meet and speak to many people of both sex.



IMO ... if someone has a high amount of faves I don't assume they are dating often - I assume they need to show off how "popular" they are. If someone wants to assume I'm shallow , insecure as a result that's fine.


I am not think insecure or shallow, I only think you sound like every person who look at stranger and say "look at her, she think she is so much better than me" base only on her wealth or look. They do not know this person to make this opinion, it only make them feel better to tear down person who have what they wish for themself or other ilogical reason.

Again, the true is most people with high number do not check their number. I do not "keep" a list, I do not even think of it. Is more effort to erase the number which have zero effect on my life than leave this number which have zero effect on my life. The side effect of weed out the people who think like you, is more reason to keep.

I do not try to impress you, I do not even notice you. I already have enough attention without a number (everybody had zero at some time). You can think this is braging, or you can accept it as statement of fact. It only depend on your own mind since reality do not matter to some.


They probably have a high numero of Facebook friends also , which is also bogus cuz how many of those people do they actually touch base with on even a semi regular basis and if not then what's the point ?


POF favourites is not same as "friends" on any site. Facebook friends is also different because I can stay in touch through update every day or week through updates even if I do not speak to them.
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 898
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/7/2008 5:30:51 AM
Since the following poster likes to generalize, I'm going to be a prick and destroy said post:



No - YOU are insecure to NEED to have that high number on your profile. Like " look how popular I am " . Like some phony validation.


Translation: "Hi. I'm projecting my own insecurities on other people; nobody pays attention to me or puts me on their favorites list and I have trust issues."



They probably have a high numero of Facebook friends also , which is also bogus cuz how many of those people do they actually touch base with on even a semi regular basis and if not then what's the point ?


Translation: "I hate Facebook because my girlfriend (whom of which I never met or knew very well) broke up with me for being a 'stalker'. Why doesn't anyone love me? :crying:




No, I'd rather hook up with someone who is secure enough to not need to keep a big following of guys they're not interested in but don't remove cuz they need that high number oh so desperately.


Translation: "I rather hook up with someone just as insecure as I do and feels the same way. That way, we can constantly accuse one another of cheating everytime one of us works late, or picks up a burrito at Taco Bell.

This way, when we have children, we can completely screw up their heads by using them as an object to attack my now divorced ex-wife/husband."







Yes, we are popular. And we have a secret handshake and use a language you would NEVER understand.



Ahk Naa Weep Nini Baum Baum.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 903
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:20:50 AM

Yeah, but even when you put them on your favourites list AND contact them, some don't even give you the courtesy of a reply, so you can't win whatever direction you take ! Lol

There is an up side to that,,you find out quite early if they are rude or not. so it's just as well we don't get replays,,,,,

Many of the woman who fav me,, follow my forums for one reason or another,, and we will pass a comment every now and then,, I also have heard it said,, some woman put men in there fav list as a flirt, and I have no way of knowing,, awhile ago,, I used to try and contact them but they have to many restrictions,, so I have no clue how all that works,, it's nice to know someone finds us interesting for what ever reason,, no harm in adding some one if you choose,, I don't unless we became some sort of friends,, or I'm truly interested in her,,and even then not until there might be a connection,, so my list is small,,,
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 907
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:36:37 AM

But either way you cut it for the most part if a person doesn't keep the favorites list trimmed in the general POF public eye it still looks bad
Says who? You? And some others floating around? Ok then. We shall now recongnize your new job at PoF as "favorites trimmer advisor" then.


because no one has any idea if the person is favored simply because of there forum post or because of something more sinister.
No, they don't have any idea, so what? That's just a bit judgmental. Like judging someone if they have tatoo's etc.... Sinister? WTH? Ah, now favorites lists are "sinister", talk about judging a book. Wonder if Big Fish knows this? Wonder if he knows that "sinister" connotation is lurking at the bottoms of everyone's page here.

Sure the T&A shots will get lots of men adding those to their favorites, everyone knows that. But it seems that SOME here think that's the way all use this list. Not so. And usually if one who is spouting off about it, it could be that's the way THEY use it, I don't know as I can't read minds. Just conjecture and thinking aloud.

The point here that a lot of people are attempting to make, is that the list is used many different ways. Period.


has it ever occured to you that perhaps they are just good, smart, funny people who other good, smart, funny people appreciate?
DING, DING, DING, we have a winner. Leave it to *smart lass* to sum it up nicely and make every word count as to how sometimes this list is used. There are some truly funny, witty, intelligent, thought provoking people on this site.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 912
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/10/2008 3:54:21 PM
You wouldn't believe the flack I get for being on 405 favorite lists. Men write me and say you are on 405 favorite lists and you are still single? Why? Like it's my fault I'm on these lists. They tell me I'm too picky and I should not focus so much on looks. All this because of these silly favorite lists. I thought this was a dating website, not a popularity contest!
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 915
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/12/2008 2:55:18 PM
Being on a lot of mens' favorite lists does NOT mean you are a serial dater!!!!!
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 917
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/13/2008 5:04:45 AM
I have no issues with Fav. list. Although I just read a profile, this woman is married, in her late forties, she has 2254 men or women who fav her. No typo 2254,


Being on a lot of mens' favorite lists does NOT mean you are a serial dater!!!!!

If that woman was a serial dater,, lets just say, ever day of the yr for over 6yrs this woman would have a date,, I don't know if I would choose to be last in line...

For what ever the reason we are on , or put someone on our fav list,, it's really just a personal choice,, I'd say there are more issues in life to over come, than to worry or judge someone by how many have fav. that person has.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 922
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/13/2008 7:05:09 AM
^^^ The second thing is true many time. They favorite because of picture or as bookmark to read more later because profile is too long to read at the moment.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 923
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/13/2008 7:24:14 AM

Now, what does get me is when someone favorites me, I e-mail them to say hi and thanks, and I hear zip, nada, back from them. Whats the deal there?

That sometimes is true for me as well,, then again, even if you want to email someone they have so many restriction, that I couldn't even if I want too,, now other than forums, why am I on their fav list. If they restrict things that they may dislike about me and others,, That one always confused me,, unless they are considering dropping their standards,,I truly hope that wouldn't be the case..
 Just 4 You
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 926
view profile
History
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/14/2008 6:19:15 AM
Compare: If there's lots of numbers in your cell phone, does that mean you're a player? I have a few people in my Fav. list that I chat with on Forums over similar issues. It doesn't mean I'm dating them!
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 933
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/15/2008 3:13:29 AM

I think some people on this site are here to see how many people put them on the favorite lists .


Some people. Not all or most, but yes, some. For me, I would use much different pictures and invite people to add me if increaseing this number was even a thought for me.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 941
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/16/2008 2:59:36 PM
I am curious about all this too.

I know(and/or have contacted) about 20% of the people that have favorited me.

I think that I must look like someone that they are pining away for or something like that.

Who knows.

 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 942
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/16/2008 6:55:45 PM
I haven't figured this one out either. I'm cute enough to put on your favorites, but I'm not cute enough to email or get to know.

Why put me there if you are not going to write to me.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 943
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/16/2008 7:13:38 PM

I'm cute enough to put on your favorites, but I'm not cute enough to email or get to know.


No disrespect intended, but looks alone isn't the only reason to favorite someone.

If this thread (and the others that haven't been deleted) "prove" anything it's that the other members here use and don't use the features offered for their own particular reasons.

That's all the favorites lists things are (both of them), only a feature offered, nothing more or less. And noone else can psychically intune what all the other members are using the feature for, although some seem to think or insist they can.

I don't try to guess what the relatively few members that favorite my profile are "up to" or concern myself with what their objective/intent might be or is. Most do, sometimes not right off, but I don't scroll through and write the "non-contactors". They do for whatever reason and for whatever that reason is, I don't lose sleep over it.

And if a number posted on my profile keeps someone from contacting me...I don't lose sleep over that either.

It's up to each member to determine what they think it "means" or not lose brain cells trying to guess.
 dreamingbirds
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 944
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/16/2008 8:03:22 PM
I find it odd also that people get so upset over what reason another has put them on their favorites list. POF is set up for free and they have a lot of ways of helping people express themselves via non words. Take the little characters that we are given. Free. Oh and how about the presents. I love the presents. Not just getting them but giving them. People just take themselves way too seriously. Relax and you just might find what you are looking for.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 947
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/17/2008 4:21:05 PM

What should be done with the favorites list is to not have the number of favorites show up on the person's profile.


It's been suggested in the help/suggestions forum at the bottom section of the forums home page. It is admin's site and to date he hasn't changed it, he gets many suggestions, many requiring writing tons of code and requiring a huge staff to maintain. So far the site it still free and I'm sure he intends to keep it so.

Bottom line is the members accept it as it is or join another site. It is one of the top sites on the internet, hard to argue with success.

Hope that helps.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 950
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/17/2008 9:32:13 PM
^^^ The reason must be that they want to look popular, or because it is pointless to spend so much time on eraseing some thing that does not matter, except to a group that lacks basic logic and assume things like you have?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 955
Favorites List?????
Posted: 11/24/2008 6:36:17 PM
Yeah...haha it's 47 pages...who'd have thunk?

It's all been proposed put up for thought...yadda yadda...the only irony I've noted is some who've protested and whined about the attention whores...just for this thread are the move frequent posters...and only to this thread.

Protest too much, but post mltiple times on almost every page....EHH....NOT for attention....culls their favorites...but resides here, and often.

Yet indiginet, self righteous, as it's Moses on the Mount....judgement...condenmantion...ehhh...yeah it wouldn't be a mircale of parting the Red Sea or a Burning Bush...the miralce would be the person referred to...garnering real attention.....I'll burn my hedge!

It's just another lame or lamer...accusation...what I do with my favs lists what you do...yes we're all more lamer, more depeserate or more attention whores.

In the 47 pages of this thread...the accuser of attention whores...had had more posts on more pages than the rest of anyone cumulative.

Ehh..I'd say who you are...but probably not...in the big picture...it's not a blip.





THREAD LOCKED













Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >