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 phenomenalwoman03
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 147
Friends with benefits rulesPage 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Thank you! To read that a man wants more speaks volume. In todays society you think a man priority is to have sex.
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 148
Friends with benefits rules
Posted: 4/22/2013 12:10:25 PM
I don't really think any rules are implied when it comes to a FWB. Yeah, he can date who ever he wants, and doesn't have to tell her, but he also has no right going off on you for telling your girlfriend. If he says he can do whatever he wants and not tell her, then why is he keeping it a secret?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 149
Friends with benefits rules
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:37:52 PM

What happens to the friendship if one of the people in the FWB situation meets and dates a person who could be the ONE?

I think the proper thing, like most guy-girl 1-on-1 friendships, is that it should change into group-friends and distance. Heck, most people's friendships with their pals usually dim at least somewhat when they start dating someone seriously. And of the friendships that aren't so close dim a lot.

How many people would be understanding when dating someone and the boyfriend/girlfriend maintains a friendship with a FWB, even if the sex stops once dating someone else started?

I guess it's the same way as an ex, but with no angst-drama baggage. It's the price you pay for turning a platonic situation into FWB. They should get put in the background.... facebook friends? That's fine. Group friends? That's usually okay. Close friends? No, that's not cool.

What makes that not cool isn't necessarily a fear that they'll jump on them & cheat if the dating gets boring or rocky. It's that it will be at least a subconscious distraction if they're still 1-on-1 friends with that person while you're dating. Theoretically, it Could be okay -- but many times the person with the FWB won't think it would be a problem when it is, thinking "Hey, I'm not going to cheat" = it's okay. That's not required for it to be not cool.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 151
Friends with benefits rules
Posted: 4/22/2013 7:08:07 PM
Do all of the people who are in FWB relationships use protection…

Who really knows? If they’re long-term monogamous, disease-free and don’t need the birth-control, then some probably don’t.

…since all of them are basically free to sleep with as many partners as they want?

That would depend on their agreement with their partner and their willingness to abide by it, same as any other committed relationship or marriage.
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 152
Friends with benefits rules
Posted: 4/22/2013 8:19:38 PM
NEVER ever ever ever(ever ever ever ever), buy a FWB ANYTHING!!!!!! No jewelry, no loungerie, NOTHING. They're not "friends", they're just people you bang, the ONLY gain from it from either side should be sex.
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 154
Friends with benefits rules
Posted: 4/23/2013 1:16:41 AM
message 142
^^ duh u dont tell them lol


are you serious or joking?
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 155
Friends with benefits rules
Posted: 4/23/2013 7:23:28 AM
Lets see, 40% of the women that have STD's , do not know they have a STD . So I would say a FWB would be a STD factory waiting to happen . So no thanks .
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 156
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History
Friends with benefits rules
Posted: 4/23/2013 8:51:09 AM
FWB's?...Just like "Enter at your own risk". Simple...You wanna stay friends because a relationship won't work, but you still want the physical side of things. Neither person needs to justify what the other is doing. IF you think you may contract an STD from your 'friend' then don't sleep with them...this goes for your g/f.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 157
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History
Friends with benefits rules
Posted: 4/23/2013 9:16:48 AM
NEVER ever ever ever(ever ever ever ever), buy a FWB ANYTHING!!!!!! No jewelry, no loungerie, NOTHING. They're not "friends", they're just people you bang, the ONLY gain from it from either side should be sex.


What in the world are you talking about? Any FWB i've had, I'm still friends with now, WITHOUT benefits since parties have moved on to other people. I love how people are attempting to extrapolate their closed-mindedness, bad experiences, or failures onto the entire world as a weak attempt to build themselves up.

edit: I think the largest issue is that people are PLANNING and SCHEMING to be in "FWB" situations because of ulterior motives, whereas true, working FWB situations are things that most parties just fall into. Good friends that know they won't work out hook up from time to time. Or exes with an amicable breakup where both parties know they won't work together just end up hooking up when neither is seeing anyone else.

Not, "I'm going to plan to be in a FWB relationship with this person from the day I meet them," or "I'll call them a FWB because I don't want to hurt their feelings and let them know that I don't want to hang out with them for anything but sex," which seems to be the cause from many of these comments.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 158
Friends with benefits rules
Posted: 4/23/2013 10:29:22 AM
Lets see, 40% of the women that have STD's, do not know they have a STD. So I would say a FWB would be a STD factory waiting to happen. So no thanks.

Your other choices til you find a relationship are random partners or celibacy. Or not-by-choice celibacy. If you’re going to have sex while you’re looking, monogamous FWB lowers your risk.

By the way, 90% of men with herpes are unaware as they do not exhibit symptoms. And 100% of men with HPV (which is serious) are unaware they have it, as there is no test. This is not a gender issue.
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