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 aixishenti1
Joined: 9/30/2012
Msg: 9
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Slept with 36 women....Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I have the same question. LoL
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 10
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/4/2012 9:30:05 PM
Hotmerlot opined:
Your partner's past is really none of your business as long as he doesn't have an STI.

He doesn't owe you a count, and explanation for that count or the reassurance that it won't count (pun) against you in a relationship.


I disagree, as I have done repeatedly, with this line of thinking.

A potential partner's past is my business. Regardless of whether she has or has had an STI/STD is as much of a concern to me as how she perceives the role of physical intimacy in a relationship. It has been my experience that commonalities in these most intimate expressions portend greater compatibility down the road.

I do not believe a dearth of sexual partners implies a lack of sexual resourcefulness.

TK
[any woman I am considering intimacy with has my blessing to query me on my past - I've nothing to hide]
 Acehonestlady
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 11
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/5/2012 4:56:08 AM
No need to ask the number question, just to get tested. The number won't make a difference to whether a person would cheat on someone if that is at all a concern.
 milehiguy12
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 12
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/5/2012 3:01:30 PM
I am firmly convinced that you never ask or answer the number question until you know the answers won't change the way you feel. I enjoy hearing a womans number so I have some idea of how experienced she is. I have a much harder time giving my number so I don't ask and hope she feels the same way.
 lady_love1
Joined: 10/20/2012
Msg: 13
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/5/2012 4:19:30 PM
He's contradicting himself. At first he gets silent and weird about the topic but then he defends it saying his friends have been with more.

He obviously knows its a lot but doesn't want you to judge him. He may have went through a promiscuous phase but that doesn't have anything to do with his commitment level right now. Talk to him about what he wants.
 lady_love1
Joined: 10/20/2012
Msg: 14
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/5/2012 4:32:12 PM
Why are people so afraid to give their numbers? If my partners number is really low or really high I don't mind - I'd much rather them be honest than hide it from me. I hate off limit topics - its hard to trust someone who won't talk/feels ashamed/insecure...its such a silly matter. No reason to flip out and shut down.
 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 15
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/5/2012 5:07:36 PM
Thanks for all the responses. Food for thought. It's funny someone mentioned he must know what he's doing...this is what suprises me...my friends asked me the other day at a party, jokingly, is he good in bed? Well I do enjoy the intmacy with him but I'd be lying if I said it's the best sex I've ever had....interestingly my ex who only slept with a handful of women, I felt was a much better match in bed than my current boyfriend and an ex from many years ago who told me he'd slept with 80 odd women, I couldn't get to have sex with me more than once every 3 weeks or so and when we did, it was always the same frigging position. My boyfriend is also showing a tendency to opt for the same position.....I know I can show some initiative too....So just to say that in my personal experience if anything greater numbers would appear to have a negative correlation to sexual variety! I think the tummy on a man also makes a difference...ie the slimmer the more adventurous in my personal experience.....Ps don't tell my boyfriend! LOL.....In case anyone feels the need to ask....my ex and I got on great but he didn't want to commit. Now with my current boyfriend I've topped it by being lucky enough to have someone who satisfies me on many levels including commitment :)
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 16
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/5/2012 6:51:43 PM
Ever see the movie Don Juan de Marco with Johnny Depp?

The character spends time in a harem and has sex with 1000 women, plus a few he's had outside of there. When he finally meets the love of his life, the subject comes up, he tells the truth, she freaks, and disappears on him. They get together in the end.


.interestingly my ex who only slept with a handful of women, I felt was a much better match in bed than my current boyfriend


My best lover had not been with many women and went many years without any woman at all.

So, think on this: with all his experience, he's still not a very good lover. That may suggest he's a slow learner, clueless, or self-centered as a lover. That would alarm me more.
 jasonh39
Joined: 9/28/2010
Msg: 17
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/6/2012 12:00:16 PM
I once heard a little rule about numbers.
The number a guy tells you? Cut it half for the real number.
The number a woman tells you? Multiple it by 3 to get the real number.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 18
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/7/2012 7:49:48 AM
I would want to have an idea of my partners past, but I think asking the question, "How many people have you been with in the last 10 years" for middle age and above, and how many in the last 5 years for younger people would give you a better idea of his impulsiveness and drive to have different women.

People lie. A 48 year old man told me I was his 4th. I assumed the 4th ever, but it was the 4th that year.

My numbers for the 3 years age 15 -18 are much higher than the 25 years age 18-43. People go through phases. I discovered the power of sex then, and liked that power. Introduction to alcohol didn't help. HIV wasn't known then. I would hate to repeat that number, so if the subject comes up, I say, "I've been with ___ people in my adult life." If questioned further, I'd say "teenage years don't count, I was confused."

Asking for a specific time frame probably gives you a better idea of what kinda of sexual attitude you are dealing with now.
 NYCmasterplumber
Joined: 8/17/2006
Msg: 19
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/8/2012 4:56:10 PM
When I was 17 I joined the Navy in less then 3 years I had relations with over 87 women all but three were married and I never wore a condom thankfully I never even caught a cold
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 20
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/21/2012 12:03:58 PM
Numbers, shmumbers...why do you care??? I count my numbers but keep that info confidential...not anyone else's business.
In any case these were all women that were interesting in at least some fashion, worthy of my recall.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 21
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/21/2012 1:58:37 PM
I am presuming he is around the same age as you.
So 36 sounds about right.
Some guys do get around.

So let it pass.
Or you may just be number 37 when the next girl asks.
:-P
 BigJ_78
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 22
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 11/23/2012 4:05:17 PM
36 women is not a very high number for a guy in his mid-30's early 40's...Actually pretty low.
 FooledBySociety
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 23
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 1/12/2016 8:13:24 PM
That's a small number.
I wouldn't make a big deal about it.
 GuitarJoey
Joined: 8/19/2015
Msg: 24
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 1/12/2016 9:29:23 PM
36? That's it? I think I hit that number last year alone.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 25
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 1/13/2016 7:36:53 AM
The real issue is not the number, but whether a person that has slept with a lot of people can be trusted in a exclusive monogamous relationship.

First of all, having slept with a great number of people may make you better prepared to understand what you like and what you do not like, what you want and what you do not want.

What you may want to do is ask a more important question, have they slept with other people, while in a relationship with someone else. Or do they enjoy the conquest or do they enjoy the sex.

I personally enjoy better sleeping with the same person a 100 times, than sleeping with a 100 different people.
So rather than look at numbers, look about what they value in a relationship. That is the real number. The rest are inconsequential.
 blueandgold5325
Joined: 1/8/2016
Msg: 26
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 1/13/2016 9:42:40 AM
Not sure why he told you that. I don't think it's anyone's business about my history really. A clean bill of health is all that matters.

It takes one time, with one person to catch something!
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 27
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 1/13/2016 5:04:35 PM
Men often exaggerate the number of women they have slept with and women tend to minimise. Never believe either party lol!!

Who knows who will be faithful and committed and who wont? Mankind is not naturally monogamous but some strive to be so. Some have more opportunities to stray than others and some are frightened of losing the home and family so don't dare. Everyone thinks about it, of that I am sure.

I agree what matters is the clean bill of health right now.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 28
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 1/27/2016 9:11:44 PM
If a man is in his mid 30s or older, it's not that uncommon or high of a number. Suppose he had sex for the first time at 18. On average he had sex with 2 different women per year. He would reach 36 women by his mid 30s.
 IgottaName
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 29
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 1/29/2016 3:39:25 PM
I'm 53yo and, to best of my recollection, have been with about 16 women (+/-) since I was 18. You say this guy had 36, in 2 years? IMHO, a guy with those kind of stats is not likely go from numbers like that to settling down over night. He may feel that way now but I would caution my daughters about this type of player. He obviously has a rep to consider, Do you really want to end up just another notch in bed post? One more "slutty" friend for him to brag about?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 30
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Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 1/29/2016 9:27:16 PM
36 women in two years? I bet he cant remember all their names. I don't see why men think that bedding women, who are often drunk or not exactly with it, is something to brag about. Especially if they are known to be "easy" women.
People have sex for all sorts of reasons and not always because they find each hot.....
 marrakech7
Joined: 1/13/2016
Msg: 31
Slept with 36 women....
Posted: 1/30/2016 12:30:31 AM
Do some math. That's maybe 1.5 women a month. A young guy, why not. and who cares if he can't remember their names. Many young girls are doing the same thing, meet in bars and hookup for fun and sex. Sex is fun. And WTF is "easy"? You have grade 9 girls giving blow jobs at school parties, they keep their virginity that way. Many newly divorced are doing the same thing. Taste what's out there, have an adventure, find out who you are and what you want.

Letitia, when was the last time you had sex with a relative stranger just for fun - 20 years ago, 30 years ago?

And yes, safe sex.
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