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 AUTHOR
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 3
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I've been out of my marriage for 8 years.
I tried one 5 month relationship, but found that I wasn't ready.
I needed to figure out who I was and what I wanted out of life.
Now that I know who I am, I am very content with being on my own.
I don't date, as I can't find anyone past the "meet and greet" that would even interest me.

Better change that attitude of wanting to settle.
Enjoy your time with you, and be happy with you.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 13
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How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 1:36:10 PM
1for.. you are getting some great advise here. If you keep doing what you have always done, you will get what you always got.
Give it a try, what have you got to lose? Lighten up on the sexy pics and post more of who you are in your heart. People see through a lot and if you want men that have a brain and heart, don't ask them to think with their d*ck first.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 16
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 3:39:17 PM
You are just choosing the wrong guys.
Keep looking and stick to your guns.
You are plenty attractive so should have
plenty of choices.

Love can happen at any age.
But not if we get discouraged.
You will learn from past mistakes.
You be more cautious with future guy interaction.
and choose a winner.

good luck.
 ForumsCreeper
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 17
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How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 4:00:07 PM
Kinda made my head spin trying to keep up.

Here are my thoughts based on my 20+ years of marriage and doing the dating scene after and bouncing around from relationship to relationship.
In no specific order.
1) Take sometime off. Still randomly/casually date but put relationship out of your mind for 1 year and dont fall for someone easily.
2) I hear the talk of both men and women, wont settle, its all about my needs blah bla you will get over this if you allow yourself to become you.
3) You want you had with the ex? Dont try to compare, it will never be the same with others.
4) Become comfortable with yourself and you will be surprised what comes to you and your emotionally ready for it but after that long in a relationship, you need a year at least.
5) If you want sex, have it but dont have it with intent of a relationship right away.
6) Your attractive and you know it so getting the attention wont be hard, getting the right attention will take some time.
7) AND, your in Fargo :) the pickins might be a little slimmer there.
8) A young guy is not your answer. Your at different stages of life. Might be nice to have the you hottie but if you want similar to what you had, i would sat within a few years eather way.

(shrug) my thoughts.

Good luck
 MrOogam
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 18
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 4:15:29 PM
Hi 1for;
Your profile seems very genuine, you state your preferences, what you like, seem to know yourself & personality. I especially liked the slow to anger & believer in God part. That your family oriented,loving, devoted, not in to the bar scene,, unless it is a night out with your partner. You seem to be very grounded in you principles, morals, & boundries that guied your life, THAT IS A GOOD THING. Your dress is not nearly as provocative as some have mentioned( besides it is kinna tuff to dress provocative much of the yr. with the weather in Fargo, it gets darn right cold in N.D., lol ), yet it suits everything you stated about yourself & your personality, & is still attractive. You know what makes you happy, feel secure & comfortable. That you like life to be on the light hearted side & want to enjoy your partners company, this is also a good thing, & nice to see it in a female profile with out appearing to emphasize the materialistic side of life that so often seem to be so glaringly evident in many of the womens profiles, so you get the "ATTA GIRL OF THE DAY", from me just for that ;). Wish there were more profiles & women like yourself in the Salem area to be honest. But even with 5 yrs. of being single it takes time to get yourself re centered as to who you are again. What you remember who you were before & in the marriage, has changed some from both experience & maturity. Priorities have changed. It takes dates, alone time, frustration with those dates & oneself...lots of prayer & introspection.... it can be a bit of a twisting or curvy path at times. You may like a certian person, but yet know prob. would not mesh with kids or other family members, & they in my opinion have to given a great deal of consideration into the situation as well... no one wants a partner that eventually causes striff with in the family.... Stick you what you know, that you know, the morals, principles that have guieded you so far in life, when the right one will comes along, you'll both know it, be much happier for it, & if not you will still have peace & contentment in your heart, avoiding alot of drama & bs. The way I see it that man will be quite a lucky guy... best wishes....
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 19
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How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 4:51:48 PM
I like to come here for cyber companionship reading others thoughts, I believe it’s possible to fall in love at any age.
It’s also easy to become addicted to the safety of cyber solitude to never really put your heart on the line again.

If you’re emotionally ready it’ll happen, maybe someday it might be my turn again.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 20
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/7/2012 6:45:55 PM
Leave it to me to post the unpopular opinion, but here goes. I see so many profiles from women that are looking for the confident, doesn't need anyone else man. Well there you go; he doesn't need anyone else, so he will move from one to another. Those standards you set are your own achilles heel.

And before I hear about how I am looking for slender women, I know that is my own achilles heel as well.
 Stormwolf
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 22
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How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/10/2012 1:28:48 PM
Considering where you live.... you'd have a better chance with a Bull or Male sheep!
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 24
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/10/2012 7:24:38 PM
1forluv- Try to put it out of your mind that you are looking.
I'm not saying give up, I'm just saying if you over think it, you can give off desperate vibes and that's not good.
I looked at your profile and you list many interests and that's great.
Focus on enjoying these activities you list, you will meet people that share your interests.
I have said this many times before, but happiness does NOT come from someone else, happiness comes from within.
A life spent single does not mean a miserable lonely life unless you think it is.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 26
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How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/12/2012 10:29:31 AM
OMG, show a little breast and now you're portraying a slut, get real....I think you look awesome, and no, I'm not into women!

I think it's hard too. There's lots of men to date, but it just doesn't feel right anymore. Almost as if it's a chore and such a waste of time.

Our times have changed, people have changed, technology has changed. Our society has changed. More SINGLE people now than ever before in history.

1forluv, don't give up. Be cautious there are a lot of users out there... Men and women.... so be safe, be picky and have faith.

Good luck,
Jan
 MrOogam
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 28
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/13/2012 9:12:37 AM
Mishka I do not think the OP has posted "Model" shots. She has posted pictures of herself & who she is. If you have read her profile, this would be evident, & her pics. would not rule your opinion. Not "ALL" men here are looking for sex only. There are those of us in the male species & gender looking for exactly what the OP said, "Wondering tho if the internet can actually help me find the one im in search of", " Someday I would like to see myself happily married and enjoying life with my best friend", from her profile. From one of her comments"there are all kinds out there and I just wonder if there is anyone besides myself who actually wants more with just one person"..There are men out here that want this very same thing..... G/L... OP...
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 29
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How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/13/2012 10:13:11 AM
Your thread and opening comment seems so needy OP, and maybe that is one of your problems? I get the feeling from your statements that you want someone to complete you, because you have not found a way to be completed on your own.

I think you should go to counseling and weed out some of these issues, become one with yourself, happy about it, and really not worry about finding "one" person to make it all better and comfortable for you, but rather to enjoy those that enter your life on many levels and just enjoy them for as long as it is meant to be. To be on someone's arm, or have them around to fill space and time, is not valid for many, and the best relationships happen when you are least expecting them, or even thinking about them.

So, work on your own life and independence, feel secure within yourself, happy that you are productive, and enjoy life and all it has to offer. You know what you are doing that is right or wrong for you, and you have no one to answer to, but yourself, and with that in mind......live life and enjoy the travel, not the destination.

Good luck.

cd
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 32
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How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/14/2012 2:46:15 PM
people find true love in their 60's. so, you are far from too old. don't think you have to hurry it up. it is a journey. you need to learn each lesson. try a women's group or if you attract abusers consistently, i'd get to the bottom of that one first. are you hanging out in tough drinking bars? not able to read the signs? seeking the high testosterone dude for sex and not picking up on the other variables as well?

i personally don't mind the dress, but online you will find a lot of nuts and fakers. do you have the skills to weed them out?

if i were you, find single oriented activities and start attending. make it known amongst friends you need them to fix you up. even if not the one, good practice. do you have meetup dot com to seek activities where you are? if no, find ones closest and attend. also, do you know how to be alone and get to know "yourself". i had a year of that after dating a man for two years post divorce. that was the best period of my life, where i began to find me, before i found "HIM"--or shall i say, he found me:)

ps alas, the road less travelled as one's guide. met him in the day. wish he had followed his own advice. another pof'er made me aware of the reality.
 campbell062
Joined: 10/10/2010
Msg: 36
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/15/2012 2:31:13 PM
Well its not that people dont want to settle its that people let everything come between them and the one they love.Also the good men are always looked over or that has what it looks like.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 39
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/23/2012 9:23:21 AM
OP, Many yrs ago,, I lost my wife to cancer, I thought my life was over,, I wanted to die, I did, But I had this little boy I loved,,Then I took 5 yrs off from work to figure out who I was as a man, At the same time wanting to be a great dad for my son,,I did manage to figure out who I was in that 5 yrs of reflection, and at the same time became a great dad..

My reflection consisted of many things, many issues may or may not have had.. and I concluded I would never love a woman again. Because I would not settle for anything less that what I had with in my relationship with my late wife..

I entered the dating world with the idea, just looking for friends and sure sex along the way,, I was open and honest about that with every woman I had contact with. Because my belief was, I never wanted to hurt anyone,, as well as believing I could never Love again.

I was wrong,, 3-1/2 yrs ago I met this amazing woman,, with whom I fell in Love with,,and she fell in love with me,,and I thank God for both my late wife Penny,, and the gift of the ability to Love again, with Erika,,

So my point is YES is is possible to commit and to find Love again..without settling.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 40
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/23/2012 9:08:17 PM
Well, your location doesn't help you. I'm in Los Angeles and there's never a short supply of dates. I've been contacted by numerous women that were drop dead gorgeous, like you, but far away. I just don't know how to build chemistry with someone out of state. I think living with someone is beautiful. It completes me. Yeah, there's pros to living alone, but there's more pros to living with a woman.

There's good men out there that will commit. The problem is that if I offer to commit after 2 dates, I'm viewed as easy and clingy. How do you think I feel if I think I'm competing with several men? I put my best foot out there. I don't play games. I don't make a woman wait 3 days for my phone call. I'll clearly ask for a 2nd date at the end of the first date if I like you. You know what? Many women think I'm desperate or don't like that. What's a man to do?

Mutual attraction is what it's all about, in my opinion. If you or the other person feels the 'clingy' vibe online, forget it. It won't work. You or them will run for the hills.

The more I think about it , the more I think several phone calls where there is a good, flowing conversation will increase your chances of meeting someone. Not just emails and texts.
 geoweb
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 42
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:07:35 AM
OP, you mentioned earlier that you were married for 21 years, and want what you had in the beginning. You are now having a difficult time finding what you had. It seems apparent that you had something special, but somehow, after 21 years, it was not special any more. You need to think hard about what was so special, and most importantly, what changed things so much that you went separate ways! There is no need to post it openly, but the thought process here is very important.


looking for someone who does not hold allot of anger..Thats what im looking for! Thats what makes me so picky

This invites the question...what was 'allot of anger' triggered by? Were they the same things that caused your divorce?

You have a lot to offer here...looks and personality, and it appears that you share many interests that most of us men would be looking for in the long term...but for some reason, you are running into 'anger' issues. Identify what is triggering that, and you will be successful in your search. Its ok to be 'picky' if you know how to pick!
 daisychain55
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 47
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How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 12/15/2012 1:51:07 PM
Im ready ...but its not happened.... how long do we have to wait
 LikeableLover
Joined: 10/16/2012
Msg: 49
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 1/12/2013 10:34:48 PM
Girl, you look beautiful, and classy. Keep that pic.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 50
How do you find true love again? Is there such thing at my age?
Posted: 1/12/2013 11:29:54 PM
Stephanie

I think your out of luck! It is not possible to find "true" love when you old. We missed that boat! There are no dreams and picket fences once you get older. This is what I believe to be true!


Sorry, but I don't agree with the above statement. I just happen to know a number of people who did not miss the boat. As a matter of fact, they boarded it and are very much in love. ForumFilly is one. She met him on-line and they are now married and building their dream home. She just posted pictures today.....not sure if it comes with the picket fence though.. but it looks amazing. They're both so damn happy, smiling, just looking into one another's eyes.

Another one of my on-line friends also found true love. He moved from Alabama to Oregon, bought a new home together and were married last year.

I don't know how to go about finding true love again...but I remain open and optimstic. Cause what I do know is that it is possible, at any age.

...mae
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