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 Raynez
Joined: 10/16/2012
Msg: 26
Sex with your exPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Been there, sex with a ex can only end badly. after we split we were still friends but then started sleeping with each other again, then all hell broke loose.....
 Yeshua1076
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 27
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/8/2012 9:44:05 PM
I have asked for that, but she feels that I've broken her heart with my behavior. I took her for granted and let stupid things matter more than they needed.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 28
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History
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/8/2012 10:07:22 PM
Where you trying to turn her into your mother? Comparing her?

If so, stop that and I bet you two can works things out.

Whatever it was that broke you two up...if that stops happening, there is a chance of reconciliation. I wouldn't be talking so much about it as actions speak louder than words.

OP careful she's not going to use anything from the past to walk all over you in the future either. Forgiveness must also come when both want to move ahead.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 29
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History
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/12/2012 4:48:47 PM
I've heard/read that almost all couples going through a divorce still have sex at least once before one or the other realizes it's not a good idea. But you need to talk with her and clarify things if she's still telling you she loves you.
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 30
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/12/2012 5:19:15 PM
Well here's my take.. if you are still having sex.. then it ain't "your ex" .. and divorce means the complete dissolving of a union .. including the genitals.. so you telling people you are getting divorced is like me telling everyone he's married to me as well and gives me 12 inches and you only 10 so he must love me more.. geesus crahissmus .. go get some help to either get back together or stop spanking your twinkie and d-inkies together .. you're sending a message to your kids and your friends that you are either nuts or just plain nuts.. it takes work to leave or stay.. I'd say your half arse one way or the other.. I'm feeling dizzy now ... it's time to be thankful I am completely single again.. hah..
 cashleys
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 31
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/14/2012 9:51:30 AM
Going down a dangerous road. You are splitting for a reason. If you want to get on with life, you must learn to be alone and only then will you be anyone someone would like to date.
 Tryns
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 32
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/14/2012 10:09:02 AM
Listen to me very carefully dude. Do NOT ignore what I'm about to say.

She is manipulating you to get what she wants out of the divorce. Trust me on this I've seen it time and time again, not only with myself but several close friends.

I know you dont' want to believe she would do that. I know she said she loved you. I know you think you are different but trust me you're not. Start paying attention to the connection between when things are happening with your divorce and how much "nicer" she treats you when major decisions come up.

It's a ploy. Run.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 33
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/14/2012 1:02:54 PM
Talk to a few divorced couples. Sex with the ex is not that uncommon. Its the ultimate FWB or maybe EWB. Multiple emotions play into it didnt know what to make of it when it happened to me. One thing I do know is that it fixed nothing. Chances are that whatever caused the split in the first place is probably still present.
 NymbusZeroKenny
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 34
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/14/2012 1:20:25 PM
I am kinda in that situation howevfer my ex isnt having sex with me at all i haven't talked to my soon to be ex-wife in about 14 days and anytime i talk to my friends all i get is she don't want to talk to you etc. but thats another story anyways I would say as a guy AVOID IT!!!! there is omething definitely wrong with that picture!
 sigungq
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 35
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/14/2012 3:55:33 PM

Yeshua1076 wrote: I ve been separated for a while now and am going through a divorce. Recently my soon to be ex and I have begun to have sex about 2-3 a week. Now I know what most will say but im not dwelling on false hope, I enjoy her company and our encounters and so does she but is this grounds to ask for a reconciliation or should I just enjoy it while it last? Mind you she tells me she loves me daily, and she is the person who initiated the split.

Any insight or opinions would be appreciated, thanks.


Yup, this is simple. The guy she was leaving you for, has left her, so now she wants back.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 36
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/14/2012 4:19:18 PM
I had post-break up sex after ever major relationship. It wasn't for any financially manipulative reason or because I ended seeing some guy I was seeing (rolls eyes and wishes my eyeballs would just refuse to read anymore 'female manipulation' comments). It was because I loved the person, because I wasn't completely ready to let go of the reality of what was going to be gone, and because sometimes when you are actually out there on your own you see that it's not all that. Mostly, there were just unresolved things to resolve.

We did not get back together in any of the cases. In two of the relationships, it was obviously over. In one, we should have reconciled and attempted to work at it. I was too young to realize that.
 vancitygurl78
Joined: 7/6/2012
Msg: 37
Sex with your ex
Posted: 11/14/2012 6:09:54 PM
WOW...ur having sex with ur ex that ur gonna divorce soon?

Sounds like complication to me. I think u need to cut her off sexually and any other means. If u merely want sex, there are plenty of women on POF who are into meaningless sex. So why complicate ur divorce by sleeping with ur ex?
 Verissa
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 38
Sex with your ex
Posted: 3/28/2014 1:43:00 PM
Been there done that, he sucks me back in every time he starts to see m a little bit happy. Like a dog peeing on a tree is what I equate it to. And me being the fool, I fall for it. The last time it happened he told me right afterwards that he had just made a 'pact of being exclusive' with his new girlfriend??? WTF??? Then why did you just seduce me? And why on earth would I be so stupid to let it happen. I know why, because I just spent years loving and taking care of him, and part of me still does love him and it's familiar and comfortable for the moment. Now I just feel cheap and used and it will never happen again. Live and learn, sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to see the light and climb out of the hole.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 39
Sex with your ex
Posted: 3/28/2014 2:13:34 PM
Sex with an ex is totally stupid and codependent. All the reasons why you split are still there. All the anger, drama, and who broke up with whom is still there.

So what happens after that big bang. Are they also banging someone else? Since you are not together, does that then give them permission to keep banging other people? Or is there an assumption that you're back together.

It's all a can of worms. So don't do it.
 ktxginger
Joined: 11/11/2013
Msg: 40
Sex with your ex
Posted: 3/28/2014 6:58:52 PM
I have done it before. During my divorce (19 years ago), me and my ex had sex. Neither of us was in a relationship and sex had never been the problem between us. It wasn't because either he or I wanted anything more or to get more out of the divorce. It was simply a FB situation - with someone who I had already slept with for 8 years. It ended after he got a girlfriend and neither of us had a problem with it ending.

However, I don't think that it necessarily works out for all couples that way.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 3/22/2014
Msg: 41
Sex with your ex
Posted: 3/28/2014 7:30:42 PM

Sex with your ex


Uuuuuhhhhh, no. Your ex is an ex for a reason and sex with an ex is not a good reason.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 42
Sex with your ex
Posted: 3/29/2014 2:25:11 AM
I've only ever done this once (though I have gotten back together with ex's more than I care to recount), and it didn't suit me at all. I ended up crying right after, I didn't want him back and I felt all this guilt. Plus to me it's something you do with someone that you actually want to be with, especially if you still care about them as a person. It felt so wrong to be acting all loving and expressive that way.. just not me. I felt even worse as he tried to console me. I think he thought I was having the opposite response- the old emotions came back. Ugh. No thanks, never again.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 43
Sex with your ex
Posted: 3/29/2014 1:28:06 PM
Obviously there is a connection. Why not try marital/couples counseling and see if there is the possibility of working out the problems that lead to divorce. Sometimes it can work if both parties work at it and really want it. I know this is an old post, but for someone else...I say, try everything before you give it up. It could be worth it.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 44
Sex with your ex
Posted: 4/2/2014 8:04:07 AM
To Opp : If you can still have children , do not be surprised if an accident happens and she just happens to get more money . My recommendation would be to keep your pants zipped up and have no contact ,except through a attorney of course .
 IgottaName
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 45
Sex with your ex
Posted: 4/3/2014 2:03:26 PM
I've been divorced over 17yrs now and would never, ever have sex with my ex now. However when we were separated and going through the divorce, and even briefly afterwards, we we were bumping uglies like we were newlyweds! It was some of the best sex we had together. Eventually it tapered off after about a month or so. I never could figure that out. She was the one filing for divorce yet at the same time would show up at my door in a long skirt and no panties. I just enjoyed it for what it was and didn't try to read into it.
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 46
Sex with your ex
Posted: 4/8/2014 7:31:14 AM
I think it can work depends on the circumstances of the breakup. Both people need to be upfront about their intentions. If 1 person uses sex as a way to secretly hope restarting a serious relationship with the other person, chances are it won't go well.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 47
Sex with your ex
Posted: 4/19/2014 5:22:39 AM
Enjoy the little thing you have ....sign the papers.....and get outa town....or away from her....other than co-parenting...if you have kids with her...anything else will mess with your mind....good luck!
 JohnX1200
Joined: 4/23/2014
Msg: 48
Sex with your ex
Posted: 5/2/2014 3:54:41 PM
*sigh* I feel some bad advice was given here

The first reply was probably the correct one

Second, NO relationship lasts based on sex. NO relationship lasts that starts out with sex. If you really want to know what to do, stop having sex. The answer will quickly manifest itself.

Also, relationships don't last based on love either, for that matter. The ones that last are based on working things out, discipline, and being selflessly empathetic to your partner's needs. Note, that it takes two working together to make it work. If she's not willing to play ball, or you're not willing, there is NO chance that it will work.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 49
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History
Sex with your ex
Posted: 5/2/2014 4:26:04 PM
Four words: Come see, Come saw.Either you're in or you're out !!!!!! Choose a door

I think he chose the in & out door
 Michael7482
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 50
Sex with your ex
Posted: 5/3/2014 7:48:08 AM

And as soon as she finds someone better to 'service' her
she will initiate another split


I think I agree with that, if he want to have sex then have sex I suppose, but don't stay emotionally attached because it may happen again. Personally I wouldn't do it, I can't have a sexual relationship without having some kind of emotional connection. Sounds a bit like a woman, but oh well.
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