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 AUTHOR
 IgottaName
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 45
Sex with your exPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I've been divorced over 17yrs now and would never, ever have sex with my ex now. However when we were separated and going through the divorce, and even briefly afterwards, we we were bumping uglies like we were newlyweds! It was some of the best sex we had together. Eventually it tapered off after about a month or so. I never could figure that out. She was the one filing for divorce yet at the same time would show up at my door in a long skirt and no panties. I just enjoyed it for what it was and didn't try to read into it.
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 46
Sex with your ex
Posted: 4/8/2014 7:31:14 AM
I think it can work depends on the circumstances of the breakup. Both people need to be upfront about their intentions. If 1 person uses sex as a way to secretly hope restarting a serious relationship with the other person, chances are it won't go well.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 47
Sex with your ex
Posted: 4/19/2014 5:22:39 AM
Enjoy the little thing you have ....sign the papers.....and get outa town....or away from her....other than co-parenting...if you have kids with her...anything else will mess with your mind....good luck!
 JohnX1200
Joined: 4/23/2014
Msg: 48
Sex with your ex
Posted: 5/2/2014 3:54:41 PM
*sigh* I feel some bad advice was given here

The first reply was probably the correct one

Second, NO relationship lasts based on sex. NO relationship lasts that starts out with sex. If you really want to know what to do, stop having sex. The answer will quickly manifest itself.

Also, relationships don't last based on love either, for that matter. The ones that last are based on working things out, discipline, and being selflessly empathetic to your partner's needs. Note, that it takes two working together to make it work. If she's not willing to play ball, or you're not willing, there is NO chance that it will work.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Sex with your ex
Posted: 5/2/2014 4:26:04 PM
Four words: Come see, Come saw.Either you're in or you're out !!!!!! Choose a door

I think he chose the in & out door
 Michael7482
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 50
Sex with your ex
Posted: 5/3/2014 7:48:08 AM

And as soon as she finds someone better to 'service' her
she will initiate another split


I think I agree with that, if he want to have sex then have sex I suppose, but don't stay emotionally attached because it may happen again. Personally I wouldn't do it, I can't have a sexual relationship without having some kind of emotional connection. Sounds a bit like a woman, but oh well.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 51
Sex with your ex
Posted: 5/4/2014 1:17:35 PM
Say what you mean and mean what you say.

I've never gone back to an ex. I wouldn't have left in the first place if that was how I felt. If I was the dumpee, why on Earth would I put myself in a position to just get hurt all over again? For some comfy sex? LOL

Igor's point is important to folks out here in BC. When a married couple separates, they must wait one year before starting the divorce proceedings. If and when, that couple has sex again, that one-year cool-down period starts all over again.

Besides, the whole thing just sounds so pathetic and sad...broken, shattered souls trapped in this perpetual turmoil of pain and sex and lack of self-worth. Just make a decision and stick to that. Stay or go. This skulking about and saying "I love you" out of one side of your mouth and "I want a divorce" out of the other is just...well, it's more drama. I guess some people really want that?
 the_regency
Joined: 12/20/2013
Msg: 52
Sex with your ex
Posted: 5/4/2014 1:38:16 PM
There are a lot of shallow people, many on here in fact, who do not feel very deeply, and convenience in sex is what matters. They don't bond properly so sleeping around with ex's or whomever is not an intimate act, it's more like sports to ease their frustration.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 53
Sex with your ex
Posted: 5/4/2014 8:52:15 PM
3 ex wives here. Left them all. I'm emotionally available and get into relationships fast but I can't maintain them. Why? I"m not a good friend and I'm working on that. In other words, I become the guy that is not emotionally available during the relationship. I focused too much on me and earning money.

Yet...each ex has wanted me back when learning I'm single again. I wonder why? Oh yeah...I bring home the bacon and never gave them an 'allowance'. My money was OUR money. I also committed to them. I do feel bad about the 2nd ex because I found my third ex, who supported me during my divorce from 2nd ex. Yeah, I cheated but I manned up and left instead of coming back and saying sorry. 2nd ex couldn't accept my son while I accepted hers...anyway...3rd ex cheated on me. Karma is a bitc*, eh?

Point being...each ex reached out to me in some way when they were in distress. I'm very compassionate. I could have easily said 'Snooze, you loose!'. But no, I gently said, 'sorry, I don't think we should re-visit a serious relationship'.

Casual human contact? Bad idea. The ex's are in it for more then the contact. I'd avoid pretending you're into her just to get sex. I think the mature thing to do is be a platonic friend only and not offer false hope of anything more.
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