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 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 47
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?Page 2 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
The thing is, it's not like we like putting guys in the friend zone, if they weren't such puzzy's/whiners/baby's/cling ons, etc. us gals just might want to couple up with them.

They hate it so much because they know in their hearts that they are like this and they hate when the card they played is recognized as the 2 it really is instead of the king or jack they think they're pulling off.

I don't friend zone these types, I stay clear.

Friend zoned men who stay in that type of using relationship only have themselves to blame. If they weren't enabling the gal to get comfort, stuff, whatever while in a shitty relationship, she probably would leave the boyfriend.

Maybe guys who are friend zoned are using the cool dudes with the girls so they can look sweet when really they're just slimy?
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 49
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/8/2012 11:22:28 PM

It means we do what she likes to do; because she is always doing what her dude likes to do.


This is the best example I've seen. To caveat, it means the woman normally has the dominate hand in the friendship.
Be honest, if you friendzone a guy, would you more likely to do stuff he wants to do or do you want him to be your "wingman" in your activities.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 50
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 12:57:50 AM
coderedjulia: or you can look at it like this...women are stupid because they date some jerk that has plenty of "chemistry" but he treats them like crap. they have to pick up a guy theyre not into, because he isnt as hot as the guy theyre sleeping with, to fill the gaps in their relationship. boyfriend doesnt compliment you? friendzoned guy will. boyfriend doesnt pay attention to you? friendzoned guy will. maybe that friendzoned guy sees something special in you that your boyfriend, and probably you dont see. who cares right? just keep sleeping with the douchebag in your search of the almighty chemistry. when you find out your boyfriend is cheating on you, hopefully that friendzoned guy will let you cry on his shoulder.

youre right, men are dumb. so are women.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 51
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 4:58:17 AM
Women don't share as much in common with me as most males; so, "friends" has to be based on shared experiences or "real" interests.


I think this is what most men learn from being friendzoned ..!

A lot of women suck at being friends with men,
so instead of hanging with her ...I would rather hang out with
one of my male friends ....at least he won't call me when his toilet doesn't flush
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 53
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 5:40:35 AM

I mean,really


Yes really ..!,, and until women learn how to be true friends
with men ......I wish they would stop complaining
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 57
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 6:51:37 AM
One thing that I should say..to my fellow guys...
If you divide women into only the ones you can date and/or sleep with.
and...the rest.(which you ignore)
You may not gain the skills needed for the one you do want to date.

You may become the proverbial boring one dimensional guy.
(at least to women)


This is the best piece of advice out of this whole threat. Seriously. Think about it. There are so many guys that are scared sh itless to approach beautiful women and the go on complaining about that they don't have the confidence and blah, blah, blah. Then the complaint that when they talk to beautiful women, it tanks rather quickly.

So read what stray cat says here. It's not an issue of being put on the friend zone, but that you as a man also have female friends with whom you can talk about anything, even about f vicking, because you are treating them just as one of the guys.

Now, when you meet a new person, and yes with the intend of dating, if you already have had these experiences with attractive women, you end up treating them not like is any big deal, but just as they are another person. That de objectifies them and gives you a much better chance of developing a relationship with them than simply being friend zoned. Also, when looking for other women, an attractive woman can be your best ally because they are great wingmen. Why? Because women covet what other women have. Women may say this is not so, but every single guy that I know has said the same thing about having a female wingman.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 58
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 7:21:15 AM
I have a few female friends and have no issues at all with being their friends,,

I did have to cut ties with some in the past,,because they thought wrong,, thinking they could use me for sex,,True!!,, or try to get attached to my son to get to me. As many I am sure were thinking I needed a mother for my son , as some said that too and if they could prove they could be, I would fall for them,,how stupid to have such motives..
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 60
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 11:46:35 AM
I don't need a dining companion. Friends first is fine, friends only is not. I'm from the camp that thinks a man cannot be just friends with an attractive woman unless sex happens first.

Being friends with an ex seems easier then being turned down and relegated to a friend by an attractive woman.

yeah, guilty for keeping the thread alive
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 62
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 12:10:32 PM
The women that guys need to stay away from are the ones that have 10 or 20 guys that were put in the friend zone because none of them matched up to her unrealistic expectations.
 Lowtones84
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 64
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 2:32:24 PM

There are many threads on here and it becomes obvious that men HATE getting into the dreaded friend zone.

WHY?

Surely having a friend is a wonderful thing.


And is it both genders who hate being in the friend zone?

p.s.
Personally I think we can never have too many friends and would have loved to have remained friends with men I have known.
t.


most of the girls I've become "friends" with often just use it to get you away from them. They use it as a distancing tool. I hear on dates that don't work out "oh we'll still be friends" and they disappear.

It's a double standard deal more often then not. So thats why "us guys" hate it.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 67
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 3:16:19 PM
I think the main reason it's hated is because it's not really a friend zone. A more accurate name would be "usury zone". Typically a lot if not most women use men that are in that zone. They know the man is romantically interested in them, but they generally only call on him to listen to her problems with the man she's banging, or to fix her car, or as a taxi service.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 68
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 5:59:13 PM
1) there are some women who are users. question is, why is the guy around 'em? If they were ugly, he wouldn't be interested..because there's nothing he'd want to use 'em for. in other words, he's not the nice guy he thinks he is, or he'd hang around nice women. there's plenty out there.

2)as for the question about why not have more friends than you already have, think about the typical male hobbies...how many require a lot of friends? If you're putting together a sports team, great, but do you need an 11th person up in a duck blind? :)

like most quality people, I have more friends than I have time in the day for them. But a lover is someone special, and worth making time for. Whatever we do, it will be enjoyable since its shared. But a female who isn't interested in the things I'm interested in (how many love cars or sports?), well, they may be nice as pie but I don't need them to be a friend when I already have many. Its nothing personal, just as their unwillingness to share themselves with me isn't personal either. But to agree with a prior poster, if you need more friends, the friends you have now are probably just acquaintances...or too busy for you :)
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 69
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 6:50:48 PM
And I still prefer beaver. Not Justin Beaver.


Is a lesbian c*ckblock called a beaver dam?

 SorcercerSupreme
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 70
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 7:15:46 PM
because we don't need any friends. let me explain!! lol when a guy approaches you its because he is really liking what he sees. depending on common interests and a strong enough connection will ultimately decide for us on whether you are the one, just another one, or a friend. that's how smart guys think. dumb guys will hook up with you because they believe that you're good enough and eventually discover that you were supposed to be the friend and not the lover but at that time it'd be too late.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 71
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 8:00:02 PM
It is not just ego being wounded, or the lopsided type of relationship. But as it has been mentioned, no one wants to be perceived a doormat either. Helping a friend, and being a doormat is a fine line. Each person has a different threshold as to what they can tolerate.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 72
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 8:22:12 PM
Being friends with a woman and being in the friend zone aren't the same thing.

The friend zone typically is the "I'm never going to date you, but you're allowed to still talk to me". Most times, when a guy is in the friend zone, they're not friends. He's last on her list to ever hang out, and when they do, it's usually because a mutual friend is there. She can't respond for days at a time because she's "busy", etc.

Being friends, you have some meaning to her life, she actually wants to talk to you and hang out with you.

Basically, the friend zone is where guys go when women lack the respect to be upfront and honest with them.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 73
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/10/2012 12:32:09 AM
I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All this time that I felt like this won't end
Was for you
And I taste what I could never have
It's from you
All those times that I tried, my intention, full of pride
And I waste more time than anyone

All the times that I've cried
All this wasted, it's all inside
And I feel, all this pain, stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie here in bed, all alone, I can't mend
And I feel tomorrow will be okay



here .. seeings as women are "so much more in tune and perceptive" (As I have heard all my life) and all guys want is sex.... there you go. read from it what you will.


Lyrics by "staind" no imposition intended on their earning capabilities.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 74
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/10/2012 12:42:05 AM
Yanno whats funny?
Quite a few of my male friends call me when they have car issues,
electrical or plumbing problems, or simply cant get their riding lawn mower to run.
I have a snake, my brother is an electrician and taught me well,
and I worked in a repair shop for many years during bike week.
Then it ends up being my daughter that helps, cause she has more tools than I do.

Good thing they have female friends that care.



Realllllllyyy... you are an exceptional woman... would you like to come help me pull some 750 KCM underground? i mean after all i am ONLY JUST an electrician... Can you help me bore and re stroke my 400 cubic inch Poniac engine and tune the 3 dual carbs?... great thing i have female "friends" who are just all willing to haul ass anytime i call to do that.. again.. as i said.. you are an exceptional woman... and you are here why?
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 77
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/10/2012 7:47:40 AM

Women I've known are very aware about not exploiting a male friendship for their convenience. It's a stigma they avoid.


Disagree

Most women learn how to open a door with just a smile at a very early age ,
Many teenage girls do not know how to change a tire ...but they know how to get
the tire changed .

This behavior becomes so engrained that, even as a mature adults
most are unaware of where the line really is .
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 78
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/10/2012 8:07:57 PM
OK newoman, first question: did your guy have a habit of planning things to the T? if so, he may only be hesitant b/c he's afraid of where things will go, instead of just jumping into an opportunity then getting in over his head. or maybe absense hasn't made the heart grow fonder, but made your image in his head grow weaker.

since you two don't cross paths anymore,there's nothing wrong with laying it on the table. say what you feel, and you just want to know where his head is at, and let him know, no probs if he doesn't feel it as strong. if you are afraid to take a chance, you know how he feels :) take the first step. if you stumble, well, so what? it beats what you're going thru now, doesn't it?

as for the woman who gets hit up with car questions...wow. wish there were more like you, and so what if you don't know a Pontiac 400 can gain 28 cid with a quarter inch of stroke, or max out at 488cid. Few guys know it :)

everything can be learned, except apparently intellectual curiousity in this society. the comedies of Buster Keaton's era were about the low class fellow making a fool of himself trying to rise up, until he finally did. Today's comedy is about being stupid and proud of it and getting away with it somehow.

if you want to learn, you'll find the book, internet site, or mentor. but if you aren't interested in making yourself better, you never will.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 81
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/11/2012 12:40:51 PM

Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?

disclaimers...
I've not read the entire thread. I don't WANT to.
I mean absolutely no disrespect or dishonor to ANYONE.
But...bottom line?

Men hate friendzone because it takes p*ssy right out of the picture.

I disagree that men and women can never be genuine platonic friends, or be "neighborly" with one another, but I think that it isn't super common.

For the most part, for a guy and a girl to be platonic friends requires a mutual ignoring of a very large elephant sitting smack in the middle of the room.
Cindy O
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 82
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/11/2012 5:54:12 PM

Thats not true at all, I have guy friends that have been interested in me. Some I had to let go cause they pushed it and wouldn't take a hint. I was simply friends with them cause I'm a friendly person. I had no interest at all in being with that person, or would use them for a back up, or to fix my car..etc. I don't have to be their friend, and they lost that privelage when they pushed it on me and wouldn't respect my decision.


And that's why it rarely works out. You're into someone, you're not going to just sit back and watch him/her date and bang other people, as long as they keep you around, you're going to keep trying.

When two people meet, and one's intention is to date, it's either all or nothing at that point. If you keep them around as "friends", you're only making it worse. I put "friends" in quotes because typically, the friend zoned people aren't treated like your FRIENDS by you. You don't call them to see if they want to do something, you don't start conversations with them, you can NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER answer them if you're hanging out with someone you're actually into / dating. The friend zone is just being allowed to maybe talk to that person.

Think to your last bf / gf, how would you have felt watching them date someone, watching them go home wasted with some random person they met in the bar? Now realize that this is what you're putting people through by putting them in the friend zone.

Now if you were already friends, sometimes that attraction happens, it'll pass.

But if the intention from the beginning is just friends, then you're fine, a guy and girl can be friends with each other.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 83
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/11/2012 6:58:21 PM
She wants you to be her crutch for a few days...


Is that story happened to me; I would tell her to go screw a moose.

(then hang up)

 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 84
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/12/2012 3:07:48 AM
A man who is not looking for a woman to be his friend, will never want to be in the friend zone. That is considered failing. If he wanted a friend, he would say so from the beginning. When it comes down to it an alpha male is an alpha, and you don't see any alpha males settling for ANYTHING less than what they intended on getting in the first place. You may be the best friend he could ever have, but if he already sees you in a sexual light, he is failing if he doesn't get you that way and he fears everyone will see that.


That's pretty much how I've seen it. When it comes to alphas, or at least the mass majority that I've come across, the women that they talk to regularly are women that are either coworkers that are strictly business, or women that they've already had sex with.

If a man is approaching a woman he is isn't trying to add another friend to his arsenal. Your average guy doesn't go friend hunting. He is looking for a partner, and in the most archaic sense, someone who will have sex with him regularly without giving too much emotional/financial stress.

Your average beta male will acquiesce with a woman that throws him the LJBF card, but he really doesn't want to be friends. His ultimate goal is that she will "come around" once he positions himself in the light that he is what she has been looking for while she's getting her heart broken by the bad boys out there. Beta males get their just rewards of dating all the damaged, less attractive, spinsters once they've picked up a significant amount of baggage (i.e. kids, divorce, financial ruin) and figured out that they are "tired of playing games."

 DanTheShutterMonkey
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 96
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Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/13/2012 8:55:42 AM
Well, it comes down to this:

Have you ever felt you were really really attracted to someone, but realised they either had eyes for another... or had absolutely no interest in you beyond being a friend? Well, that my friend... is "being friendzoned". It feels CRAP, so how would you expect someone to like it?

I don't get the**** ones on this thread saying "it's just girls we haven't slept with... yet". That has nothing to do with it. If a woman doesn't want you, you can't convince her otherwise... it's that simple.

I think the problem stems from the man having horrible self-worth, self esteem and all that. Being friendzoned is like a kick to the nads, and men really hate their ego's being hit.

I can recall quite a few times I've been friendzoned. I guess in my case, I got used to it. I figure that if the girl dosn't like me as more than a friend, I move on and find someone else. No point wasting my time focusing on a woman who wants nothing to do with me other than a friend, when I'm after love.
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