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 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 47
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Thats why many people now days don't get married till later in life because of some financial constraits and the necessesity to build up your bank account

According to my sister who lives in Egypt, in the Middle East it's traditional for the man to have everything prepared for his new bride - a new home, all the furnishings, dishes, linen - nothing for her to do but move in, and start a family. It's quite difficult to achieve and so many men wait until they are in their 30s, at least, to marry and start a family. Although this tradition is slowly changing, it can make Western women attractive to some Middle Eastern men because Western women expect far less at the start of a marriage, and are also more willing to work outside the home during the marriage.

a women everything she needs to survive plus a child and a family.

I misread this as "survive a child and family", and I thought that was quite appropriate. :)
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 48
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/15/2012 3:07:07 PM
If marriage isn't the goal, then I'm only concerned that she has a schedule that allows her to spend time with me.

If marriage is a goal, then yes, I am concerned.

Regarding controlling millionaire types, I tend to think men that make a decent living do so for a reason. They're ambitious. It's a positive for his bank account and not his partner.

Some guys focus too much on providing for others and focus on earnings. I personally work hard so I can play harder later.

Anyway, that's another topic
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 49
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/15/2012 4:55:14 PM

I don't care how much a person has so long as they don't cost me anything.


Agreed.

I know it's easy to say that money causes havoc in relationships,but, it's not the "money" it's the difference on how we handle our "money"(or debt). I'm a simple man, in that, if I don't have it, I ain't spending it. So, when looking for another, it ain't the money she makes that I'm worried about. It's those phucking bank and credit card statements that freak me out.

Seen too many people walking around "playing the part" yet in reality, they don't have a pot to pee in. So, I don't give a flying phuck about the money you make,but, you sure as hell better not be up to your eyeballs in debt.
 spreadingmywings2010
Joined: 12/31/2010
Msg: 50
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/15/2012 6:32:52 PM
just left a 4yr relationship over money...if my love isnt enough..keep walking...i never ask for money so if i struggle its my issue not yours...i am a single mom with 3 kids just trying to make it in the world
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 52
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/15/2012 7:01:21 PM
Ramperbill, Yes you can wipe it clean and start all over again.. The problem is that those same people who spend too much money to maintain the life style.. Would do it again and again..
I would rather meet someone who knows the value of money and how to spend it or not spend it. When we do things togher we can share expenses too.. Not expect me to take care of all the bills when going out, So she can spend her money on shoes or buying what ever she sees while window shopping...
As for Egypt lets not forget when that nice guy bring his new wife to her new house all ready set up for her.. The moment she moves in she is his property now.. He can beat her make her run circles around him doing what ever he wants her to make. I don't think that many western women would go to live in his house. No matter how many dishes are waiting for her... Unless she intendes to use them every day to cook his meals and slave in the kitchen... Can't have it all with out giving something in return as well...
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 53
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2012 9:45:22 AM

As for Egypt lets not forget when that nice guy bring his new wife to her new house all ready set up for her.. The moment she moves in she is his property now.. He can beat her make her run circles around him doing what ever he wants her to make.

While it's true that there's a different culture, in which marriage and family are very important, in Egypt at least, marriage doesn't make the woman "property" without rights. My sister, who is married to an Egyptian, has a marital contract which spells out her rights within the marriage - including the right to be his only wife, that he provide her with a trip back to Canada every year, and that if the marriage should fail he will provide her transport back to Canada with enough money to start over. Marital contracts are legally enforceable, though I wouldn't go so far to say that the man doesn't have a preferred position if it does go to court. Just like in Canada or the US, there are Egyptian men who will mistreat their wives as well as those who do not. My sister happens to have married one who treats her extremely well and has gone above and beyond to uphold his side of their marital contract.

I don't think that many western women would go to live in his house. No matter how many dishes are waiting for her... Unless she intendes to use them every day to cook his meals and slave in the kitchen.

My point was that because it is so difficult for the average male to get all that stuff before marriage, some men look for Western women because Western women do not expect to have it all on the day of marriage. Western women are also more willing to work outside the home to contribute to the family life, which is something some men also find attractive. Of course, there are also many traditional men who do expect the woman to be the home-maker, and some Western women find that attractive. You might be surprised how many Western or European women actually live with their Middle Eastern husbands in places like Egypt, or even Saudi Arabia. Especially in more moderate countries, the notion of romantic love for one's mate, ahead of financial and family considerations is becoming increasingly common, even though it's not really the best basis for a long-term relationship.

In my opinion, financial ability and stability are not irrelevant to a successful relationship. Combine financial stability (and I mean "stability" which is different from "lots and lots of money") with mutual respect, consideration and shared values, I think you have a better basis for a long-term, successful relationship than one based on romantic love alone.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 54
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2012 10:37:23 AM
While some educated and well to do people in Egypt are more open to the western ideas. They are the very small exception to the majorty of the men and some women out there..
Education in particular makes a big diffrence in people life style. No matter where they live.

http://www.bikyamasr.com/80796/egypt-women-deserve-rights-now-not-later/

Lets not forget that Egypt is supposed to be more advanced then many other countries like Iran Jordan and Dubi..
You might have heard on the news the word Sharia law.. Read about it and find out what rights women have under this law. If they pass something like that, It won't matter what her husband think both of them would have to follow the law.. So would girls if they have kids.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 55
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/16/2012 10:47:53 AM
^^^ Agreed, it's not an ideal society (is there one??) and the new government may reduce women's freedom. It is something my sister worries about, but I know to this point she's been pretty happy in her marriage and loves the Egyptian people.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 56
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2012 6:25:16 AM

You can be wiped clean, and made whole again. Seek an attorney.


How many times have ya done this??? Once, twice,three times????? If you actually think before spending, no need to bring the lawyers into your life. But, hey, if you like lawyers, all the power to ya. Dumb bums need lawyers.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 57
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2012 6:42:49 AM
Money is everything, unless you want to live on the street with a stolen shopping cart for your belongings. So the answer is yes money is like a relationship and yes it's important if you want to live the dream!
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 58
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2012 10:04:19 AM
^^^^^

jan1025 ,you hit the spot bullseye, a person has no life if he doesn't have money... It is the reason we get a career and work to live a dream...........
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 59
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2012 11:30:21 AM
With my ex, it was always about the money. Financially, she was never a partner. Within the first couple of weeks of our separation, I happened across her personal ad (I was curious and did a free search) in which she (a person who never made over $30,000 per year) listed a minimum salary requirement for the man she dates to be $75,000. That same search is where I also found some evidence to use in court regarding the horse she supposedly sold months earlier yet was touting how she was the owner of this wonderful horse.

My best salary was $60,000 and now I get by just fine on less than half of that (disability). Money or relationship? Both are fleeting.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 60
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2012 12:11:07 PM
You can't separate the necessities of life like that. It's just an old, tired cliche to say money isn't as important as whatever. We can't live without making some sort of living, even if you bartered everything, it's still counts as a type of money. If you don't care if a man has a job or not, that you would be perfectly happy making the living, etc., then that's fine for you. But to just casually say money isn't important is the saying of someone who is being well taken care of by someone else's money or they aren't living a life with their needs met. It might not take as much money for some to live a happy life as it does others, but that doesn't mean money isn't important. Old cliches are rarely worth the time it takes to repeat them. Life is hard, it takes work, it takes some sort of income.

There was a jewelry commercial on today that had a ring I found to be quite beautiful, I don't normally go for jewelry but this one caught my eye. Which got me to thinking about all the men who call women gold diggers if they want nice things, expect gifts, etc. There are men who like to get things too from their partner. There's nothing wrong with it, the problem comes in if one likes to get or give and the other does not like either. That's a bad match and like sex, if finances are the big elephant in the room for at least one of you, then it's a big problem, no matter how little it might mean to the other person. If your needs aren't being meant, whatever they are, then you are not going to be happy and resentments are going to build and resentments make life hell.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 61
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2012 5:03:25 PM
Love doesn't pay the rent.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 62
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2012 5:21:18 PM
Spitfireee,

I disagree with you completely. Without money, you can not seek proper medical care, unless you live in Canada and even then it takes months to get that care, or in the States if you have a welfare card, you can try and find the right doctor who will honor that card, and if you think other people who work are going to keep paying your medical bills for free.... then you are unaware of the many issues that are effecting our economy presently or situations in the present.

Money does help to bring happiness. If you can provide for yourself it effects your well being and if not, it brings on stress and all kinds of unhealthiness to ones lifestyle.

"A good relationship" based just on love.... well, I don't think you would find an intelligent man who will push your stolen grocery cart around town while you look through garbage cans for your nights supper.

So money is the root of all happiness. Our society created it this way when our ancestor's and leaders did away with the bargaining system, and by the way that wasn't working 100% at the time.

Anyhow, you get the point, I hope.

Peace
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 63
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/17/2012 7:21:12 PM
Even if you live in Canada and if you don't have a job, no money, you cannot go to see a dentist when you have a toothache. This is a health related, not a cosmetic thing. You would have to suffer the pain.

If you have no job, no money, can you two just sit there and look in to each other's eyes and say "I love you" forever?

Money is not everything, but it's VERY important.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 64
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/18/2012 6:14:15 AM

would like to know if people think money is more important to you or relationship ?


Money is important to every adult, even the free spirited people who doesn't want to work for their belief is God support the sparrows for their sustenance what more of a human being ? We see them on the street begging for coins... In regard to relationship that is part of our human beings to connect with other people, like our parents/siblings then when we become adult we seek a relationship with the opposite sex to procreate ,to have a family...

Money is not every thing , it is a tool we use, to make our life easier and comfortable we need to share our life to others too /to the opposite sex for the fulfilment of our being.... If we have no money then we have no life to share with another person, unless that person will support us for our nescesseties and vice versa..

If a person thinks that money is important , than relationship then s/he is not centered ,she is unbalance...
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 66
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/18/2012 7:01:32 PM
Honestly, money pays the bills and spending money is for investing, and buying things you need and crave in a luxury way when you want to pamper or be pampered...and some people also participate in charity to help others.

I have developed great envy. But of who? The ladies who have fun in the city so to speak... wearing high heels with little fear, getting limo rides with their friends, dressed in party outfits complete with the mink coats. etc...with maybe @ $2.00 in their purse and no issues about it and are carefree and freespirited... get their drinks paid for [if they drink], and end up possibly having a relationship after meeting those men and partying in the city from lets say 10 pm to 4am....besides getting a ride home.. Boy are they lucky!
When it comes to me...I live in fear and bring those extra flat heels just in case I have to run so to speak for fear and security issues of being in a place away from home and its way past 12 am....
I think they have great strength, and such freedom....

Now as far as the man with the money is concerned....if you are looking for love and he happens to have wealth....if you feel intimidated by him....then you should tell him....He may actually sense this from you [and wants/needs you to make the initiative to bring it up....not knowing if its him or that you just don't like him is on his mind]..instead of breaking up with him first....I mean 3 months ???? It takes I think at least 6 months to 1 year to get to know someone better....if its the money that scares you....thats one thing....b ut if it is a power thing....that's something else....Feeling out of place is another problem.
You should talk to someone like a friend you trust...[if you fear discussing it with him ]

But if you have a hobby you enjoy then you should really open yourself up to it and you can refer to it as a crutch to stay grounded from all of the intimidation, because I think something you enjoy doing is worth talking about....

falling in love is something everyone knows happens almost instantaneously or spontaneously the lust feelings drive your heart.....which is a good thing....to look for but not everyone gets bitten by the fallin in love bug....'wanting this person and being attracted to him' he should complement. you .....it would be more stable....

If you still want this guy....then when you contact him or he you.....plan the date and take control of the conversation....to break the intimidation.....the friction that is going on.....from the money....and try to find ways from the interests you have to develop that bond...that you and he needs to feel....
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 70
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/26/2012 5:43:47 AM
One of the interesting things I've found, is that women will complain about a 'too ambitious' man who spends lots of time at work, and they will also complain about a man who 'isn't ambitious enough' who doesn't make enough money but puts his relationship first. Basically, women don't know what they want. Oh, wait....they think they want a Prince, who already has lots of money and so can supposedly spend lots of it on her, while spending lots of time with her too. So there you have Princess Diana, and we all know how happy she was with her marriage. Basically, women always want what they don't have. Reminds me of the 'husband department store' joke.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 72
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 11/26/2012 9:47:40 AM

One of the interesting things I've found, is that women will complain about a 'too ambitious' man who spends lots of time at work, and they will also complain about a man who 'isn't ambitious enough' who doesn't make enough money but puts his relationship first. Basically, women don't know what they want.

Not all of us complain about a man who's too ambitious. I like to work 2 or 3 jobs and I'm in school nights as well, so if a guy I'm dating wants to work a lot of hours - he's not going to get any complaint out of me. If he's offered work and turns it down for me, I'm going to probably give him some flack about it. I'd have to be unable to entertain myself and/or not have a lot going on if I'm going to whine about him working too much. It's not his problem to keep me busy.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 78
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 12/6/2012 6:40:11 AM
My Opinion,, My relationship with my girl friend or spouse as well as my my son will always come before money. One of the greatest commodities in life is our time,,and I value my time I spend with the ones I love. Relationships are built on time shared together. Yes money is very important, yet it value is over rated as it relates to happiness, heath and love. Although again, it is money that does supply our needs ( paying bills, food, shelter etc.) as well as wants,, yet those wants can be set aside at any given time. For example my girl and I were talking about going to Dubai for a romantic vacation,,We both agreed we had better start saving,, my point, it's a common goal working together to make that vacation possible. All that said,, I have to check the lottery numbers,,who knows if luck has it Dubai might happen sooner than later,,

LMAO,, that sucks we didn't win...
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 79
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 12/6/2012 7:06:47 AM

One of the interesting things I've found, is that women will complain about a 'too ambitious' man who spends lots of time at work, and they will also complain about a man who 'isn't ambitious enough' who doesn't make enough money but puts his relationship first. Basically, women don't know what they want
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Basically, women don't know what they want


"Every woman needs one man in her life who is strong and responsible. Given this security, she can proceed to do what she really wants to do — fall in love with men who are weak and irresponsible,” Richard J. Needham

which won him a following across Canada, where he was a humor columnist.

Food for thought and to get the usual debates going this morning...
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 80
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 12/16/2012 3:37:19 PM
he was rich he still could not pay for extra cheese on a burger

I've heard many times that millionaires are very cheap, penny pinching people.
I was told by many men, that they ask us these questions about our financial status, because they want to know what we are bringing to the table. And they want to know right away so they don't waste time with a woman who is not up their standards.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 88
Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2012 3:04:26 PM
I dont see a thing wrong with expecting a man to have a job and car. I do..so, whats the problem?

Have men lost all sense of pride that they are actually insulted that women expect them, at the very least, to be employed and mobile?

I certainly would not expect or want a guy to be schlepping me around everywhere and paying for everything. Forget it.
 NEWBEGINNINGS28
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 90
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Would like to know if people think money is more important to you or a relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2012 7:16:01 PM
When you have worked hard all your life and split everything up, it would be nice to find someone who can step up and; together, rebuild with you. They don't have to have an equal amount but something substantial would certainly be a help. I find there are far too many on this website who live day-to-day. They have nothing to show for all the years of work they have done. It makes me shudder to think how they will survive in later years.

I wouldn't stop at money though. Without a great personality and physical chemistry it would be misery to settle for someone your not attracted to.
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