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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Not wanting to have kids??      Home login  
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 jaded_heart666
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 51
Not wanting to have kids??Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
As for me, I get the same reaction. I don't have kids only because I can't have them. I think guys who see that on my profile think I'm not wanting to be with anyone who has kids, which isn't so. I would love to meet a great guy with kids.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 52
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/11/2012 11:27:34 PM

children are over rated, selfish, and damn hard work! and very little reward for all the paind and hard work!

Wow! Do your children know you despise them? What an awful thing to think, let alone say out loud on the www where anyone you know can read it. (And you couldn't be more wrong. Maybe your children weren't worth the work. Maybe they were selfish. That doesn't mean jack about the vast majority of children.)


Not wanting to have kids??

OP? In the 30 years I've dated and/or been in relationships, I've only ever been involved with one man who had children prior to knowing me. I prefer men with no children and have had absolutely no problem meeting/dating those who matched my preference. While I had a child of my own, I knew very early on in my adult life that I was sooooooooooo not step-mother material and I didn't wish to mislead anyone into thinking differently. I see absolutely nothing wrong with men and/or women who've not hand children and don't want to. My BF has never been married, never had children nor does he want children. He's perfect in that regard (for me, that is.) There will be plenty of women who aren't interested in you due to your preferences, but there are some who'd find you perfect for them, just as I view my BF's take on this subject. JMO
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 53
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/11/2012 11:32:51 PM
I understand what you are saying hopefully i will find someone who feels the same way. If its meant to happen, it will be meant to be.
Otherwise.........Lets face it you can not force things to happen.

Also to the OP "sigungq" who said -I hate kids and dogs.

I really don't know what you are talking about. I never once mentioned about hating anyone...
I have a lovely niece that i cherish.
Have had beloved dogs in my time German shepherds,Boxers....


Would like to know were you came up with that????
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 5/27/2012
Msg: 54
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/11/2012 11:40:59 PM
I don't want kids either, and yes, its been a problem for me. I have been dumped before cause I said I don't want kids. Maybe you can try dating a woman who already has kids, and doesn't want anymore. Yes, I had a problem dating single dads at one point. But the fact is, lots of guys who don't have kids, want them. It made the sea of men, pretty much into a puddle for me so I am giving single dads a chance. So far, its not really working *sigh*
 tampasmiles
Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 55
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/11/2012 11:51:26 PM
My next door neighbors are in their early 50s...never had kids and are happy...also a married couple that are in their late 20s that I know..never plan to have kids are quite happy too. I personally know more than a dozen men that are over 30 that never plan to have kids...but they are all gay...but they are all very happy with their choices...you aren't alone...but it may be more common in Florida....people do tend to travel and be more into personal enlightenment here rather than "having a family" in the normal sense.
 m8t
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 56
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/12/2012 2:36:31 AM
I never wanted children myself; they were failures of birth control methods.
My eldest was a pill baby, my youngest was conceived with an I.U.D. A tubal ligation ensured
that would never happen again. Children are a mixed blessing, and I do know Im not always the greatest parent.
I can only try my best to be a better one every day, being its a life time commitment. They can both be my best friends these days, so thats the plus to having adult children. I do love then very much.
They did have a stable, good home, even though I could never give them what they needed most.
Their father passed. He was the one that wanted children.

I understand exactly what The Pig is saying. This is one of the reasons I wont date men with dependant children.
There are a lot of single people that do not want children, nor to help raise any.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 57
view profile
History
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/12/2012 3:39:09 AM
The main thing about you is that you are a MAN on a dating website. By default, you won't get many replies. Just based on your profile, the only flags I really see are:
1. You look like an aesthetically rudderless average guy.
2. You don't want kids.
3. Your longest relationship is under a year.


I've seen several threads about guys trying to pinpoint why they are get no replies....everything from age, to intelligence, to pets, to finances, etc. If you're an average looking guy, you have to have a pretty extraordinary profile to get messaged, and that's IF she even clicks on your profile and scrolls down to read what you have to say. Just gotta keep on truckin'.
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 58
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/12/2012 9:40:34 PM
mrcs84-The main thing about you is that you are a MAN on a dating website. By default, you won't get many replies. Just based on your profile, the only flags I really see are:
1. You look like an aesthetically rudderless average guy.
2. You don't want kids.
3. Your longest relationship is under a year.



Well i am not going to change my belief's just to please what people see as the norm as far as Kids are concerned.
If the truth were known i have never had a relationship in my life,not because i didn't want one,But had know idea how to meet women or even a clue about what to do in a relationship??? As hopeless as that sounds.
Ok so i am average looking, So what????
So what you are saying is -All of us ugly mugs might as well forget about it???

If thats the type of judgemental Attidude that most women have, then its better off that i do forget about it all.
But i am hoping thats really not the case.
 James44P
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 59
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/12/2012 10:10:52 PM
its a little harder I think but there are those that dont want kids. Just be patient and keep trying :)
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 60
view profile
History
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/13/2012 5:00:17 AM

Well i am not going to change my belief's just to please what people see as the norm as far as Kids are concerned.

That's fine and dandy. I am in the same boat as you. I have several reasons why I don't want kids. Most of them, you can find here:
http://childfreedom.blogspot.com/2009/03/top-100-reasons-not-to-have-kids-and.html

But being part of that particular minority does raise red flags for many [most?] women.


Ok so i am average looking, So what

Nothing is necessarily "wrong" with it. But with nothing that makes you particularly stand out from the next dude on the internet, it's less incentive for the women who are browsing profiles to click on yours to see what you're about. It is what it is, I guess. I have had only a handful of initial emails on this site and I've been here for a while. For all intents and purposes, I've given up on the dating and just stick with the forums. My luck has been significantly better when I go out and meet people.


If thats the type of judgemental Attidude that most women have, then its better off that i do forget about it all.

Well, when the next guy is just 1 mouse-click away, it's not hard to be choosy, especially when you (i.e. women) are regularly getting emails from potential suitors.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 61
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/13/2012 5:26:44 AM
You're age group is probably a little young.. Many women in the age range you're *probably* looking at will want children or more children. Just have to find the one that doesn't. A single mom might be a good choice. Just ask them if they are planning on having more kids or not. If it's that important to you ask right away. I always do. I want to know what i'm getting into.
 orange_hill
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 62
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/13/2012 7:11:35 AM
Sure not wanting kids may be a part of the reason why the OP doesn't get many replies. But there are many other possible reasons. For example, the OP is 5' 9" and has a high school education level. Some of the women he contacted might want a man that is 5' 10" or taller and/or has a college degree. Also some women that he contacted may not like his photos.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 63
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/13/2012 7:20:07 AM

I am after someone who together 1 of us can just say e.g
"Hey lets jump in the car and go up or down the coast"
without really having to plan much around it all.
Going for a overseas holiday.
Doing things at short notice.
Moving house without having to upset the childs schooling and having to make new friends.



I don't have a problem if they have kids from a previous relationship


I hate to remind you but your above reasons not to want children would come into play with a woman
who has kids from a previous relationship too,so really,you should consider avoiding single mothers too.
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 64
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/13/2012 9:48:22 PM
orange_hill-Sure not wanting kids may be a part of the reason why the OP doesn't get many replies. But there are many other possible reasons. For example, the OP is 5' 9" and has a high school education level. Some of the women he contacted might want a man that is 5' 10" or taller and/or has a college degree. Also some women that he contacted may not like his photos.


Like i said if people are that judgemental i prefer just to keep tp myself in life.
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 65
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/13/2012 9:56:29 PM
mrcs84-Well, when the next guy is just 1 mouse-click away, it's not hard to be choosy, especially when you (i.e. women) are regularly getting emails from potential suitors.


Great good luck to him.
But i will not change. I don't believe in selling out myself just because of sterotyping....
Having babies is like i said becoming a "fashion" .
I think there is more to life then just breeding "mini me's"!!!!!!! as a previous OP put it.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 66
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/14/2012 4:05:32 AM

Having babies is like i said becoming a "fashion" .
I think there is more to life then just breeding "mini me's"!!!!!!!


It's one thing to not want children of your own for whatever reason
it's another thing to generalize and judge those of us who do.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 67
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/14/2012 6:15:02 AM
~~
Like i said if people are that judgmental i prefer just to keep to myself in life.
~~
Get over yourself. It is not judgmental to look for qualities *you* find attractive. A woman who doesn't want to date a short man, wouldn't do int online or in person. I have never been attracted to short men. what can I do? Pretend so your feelings don't get hurt?? Come on..

~~
Having babies is like i said becoming a "fashion" .
I think there is more to life then just breeding "mini me's"!!!!!!! as a previous OP put it.
~~
And you are calling others judgmental?


~~~
I don't mind women with children at all. I would only have a problem if it continually created problems with her availability
~~~
Good time management.. It's all about good time management. I have the exact same feeling about a person. I don't care what's interfering with the time we need to spend together to see each other. If he's too busy to see me or is never available to see me... Houston we have a problem..
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 68
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/14/2012 7:26:59 AM

Hell, with most of my family holiday get togethers, I usually hang out with the kids playing video games rather than associate with the elders. Being around the elders is like being surrounded by the most disgruntled forumites. About a minute into their pissing and moaning, I'm wanting to beat them to death with a sack full of fruitcakes.


Too funny.
 cashleys
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 69
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/14/2012 8:51:32 AM
Your finding someone will be a little more challenging. It limits your dating pool, but is not impossible but yes, if you don't want children then you have to seek out the women that don't either. Not many of those around.
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 70
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/29/2012 11:04:42 PM
I think it really depends on if you feel confident that you can be a good father or not e.g being responsive to kids,knowing how to work and take care of them.
Also being able to pass on positive aspects in life be that mentally or physically with good health.
I would not want to pass on some of my problems more so on the mental side of things as i was and still am a slow learner i tend to go through life like a dodgem car.
Its not fair especially to have children go through life on the back pedal.
Its way to hard as it is in this world.
 bookmajor
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 71
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/30/2012 5:28:38 PM
I prefer to date men who already have kids. The last man I dated swore he didnt want any (he doesnt have any), and 7 years later, he broke up with me because he decided he wanted kids (it's not possible for me anymore.)
 Picelli
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 72
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/30/2012 9:46:26 PM
I have never wanted kids, so, I have never had kids. One of the best decisions I have ever made. I figure I do not have that mommy gene that scientists are speculating about.

So, we are out there! And, we are awesome. There are just not very many of us...
 HaydenFan
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 73
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/30/2012 10:02:03 PM

I have never wanted kids, so, I have never had kids. One of the best decisions I have ever made. I figure I do not have that mommy gene that scientists are speculating about.

So, we are out there! And, we are awesome. There are just not very many of us...
I say we start the Super Secret Don't Want Kids Klub lol. I knew early on I wasn't having kids of my own. Like any path that is against the norm, you will face adversity every step. It's not for everyone, I know that.

I'm not against dating a woman with children, but I know most don't care for when you tell them you want none of your own. It's an ego thing with people having 'their' biological children or else, they'd adopt like any sane, compassionate person.

The one flaw is that when all the smart peeps stop procreating and the losers are still shitting out minions by the truckload, our future seems bleak... Ever see 'Idiocrocy'
 Picelli
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 74
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/30/2012 10:14:42 PM
SSDWKK - Nope, we'll have to come up with a different name, that one doesn't work.

Even as a girl I never wanted to play mommy like the other girls with their "baby" dolls. I figured they were all nuts and I was the only sane one because who in their right mind would want to pretend that much responsibility!

I've dealt with very little adversity. It was mainly my aunt who pestered me to have kids. That's pretty much it.

Previously I have played the step-mom role. And, I learned a lot... like discipline and boundaries. So, if I date a gentleman in the future who has a child or children, I will go into it as ready as I can be.

I'm not gonna get into the smart peeps and losers debate as it is too easy to find reputable examples to argue it. I will simply say I consider myself one of the smart peeps... because I am cool like that. :)
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 75
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 12/1/2012 6:17:21 AM
Picelli- I have never wanted kids, so, I have never had kids. One of the best decisions I have ever made. I figure I do not have that mommy gene that scientists are speculating about.

So, we are out there! And, we are awesome. There are just not very many of us...

lightningboy1- There are more then you will ever know!!!!!!!!!
Its just not Fashionable to say....

As i said early...
I would not want to pass on some of my problems more so on the mental side of things as i was and still am a slow learner i tend to go through life like a dodgem car.
Its not fair especially to have children go through life on the back pedal.
Its way to hard as it is in this world.
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