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Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 40
turns out he has a different name Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Scream out his real name the next time you're having sex, see what happens.
HA! Love it! This make me laugh!

OP if you take this advice.. PLEASE post a follow-up.. LOL..

you owe a liar NOTHING

why do women think that you owe this guy a talk.
I believe the "talk" if it happens would be more for her benefit then his. Not talking to him to give him an out, rather talking to him to make it right in her head. Personally I'd just leave if I thought he's a lair.. but some women need that explanation..
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 41
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 9:38:32 AM

I think that what you did is really wrong. I don't think you have put into perspective that your actions are possibly a result of your insecurities and anxieties. You should tell him or end it. No one deserves to be in a relationship where they are not trusted. It isn't good for either party especially if he is oblivious to what you did and what you suspect. Having cards in other people's name is common practice in the business world. What is in his wallet is none of your business unless he shows it to you.

Nope... the number one reason for believing someone is lying is because .. they are... go get yourself some education from the Mind Hunter .. John Douglas FBI profiler.. she was not insecure .. she "felt" he was lying.. hence the man needs to improve on his lying abilities or take the pertinent information out of his wallet and date YOU... but because you are so secure and anxiety free he wouldn't lie to you .. hah.. Young kids and big dreams..

She "feels" as though he was not being truthful.. unfortunately she let that slide ,.. very likely because she HORNY.. IT HAPPENS.. and after a few wing nut sandwiches and some beer and rear she was scratching between her mother jugs and speed and felt like finding out with tangible evidence he's a skank hole..

I get a kick out of women here.. most of the ones who don't believe in trying to trail the tracks of a dirt bag.. earlyon,,, frig your the types that would come home from work.. see your fella humping someone in your bed and apologize for coming home and snooping.. wtf is wrong with people..
aw.. loyalty women and CIA directors.. lemme tell yah many many women say they wouldn't go ballistic if their lover was lying but that is total BS... hell, I knew as soon as Tiger Woods first story came out the entire vagina monologue would be singing.. in d minor.. nothing worse than a wronged dong and schlong.. she just simply needs to move along.. worst part is he keeps his dirty secret and she must live with the fact that he can still perform emotional terror. hell in Thailand in some areas they beat sticks and stones on the house.. I kindah like that .. but hey .. I'm old old school.. hah..
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 42
view profile
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 9:38:37 AM
To Confuzzled
Wonder what Steve was thinking when you screamed out Oh Joey!.
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 43
view profile
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 9:38:54 AM

Scream out his real name the next time you're having sex ,see what happens.

Good adviced BUT,
His bank card name doesn't validate that it is his real name, suppose I scream the name out of orgasm and the card belong to his grandfather, I don't think I have a quick answer to >>> AHA !!!! my grampa is screwing you !!!!! methinks , I am safe on >>>>>>Ooooh ,My Godddddddddd!!!! Nothing wrong with that...................
Joined: 9/26/2012
Msg: 45
view profile
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 9:46:52 AM
Ladies Really? Am I the only one noticing all the advice based on the ASSUMPTION that the man lied about his name? I go by my middle name because my mother has the same first name...BFD. I have had company credit cards that the Department Head's name is on the card for organizational billing purposes... Now, if I came out of the shower and someone was looking through my purse...I would kick him to the curb no questions asked.
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 46
view profile
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 9:52:58 AM
I often like to read motown_cowgirl's posts. They give me good laughs.
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 47
view profile
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 9:57:57 AM
cowgirl is really great when it comes to good humor, and she is sharp on serious messages too..
Joined: 8/17/2006
Msg: 49
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 10:35:03 AM
Im sure his wife will be thankful you only looked into his wallet and did not take any money out so her and her children will have enough to eat. .....Your a nice lady
Joined: 10/10/2012
Msg: 50
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 11:07:33 AM
I wonder-did all the cards and license say this too? Was there no license in the wallet? Was it just a different first name? You could go out to dinner and have him use his card then make sure to note the name on the card to bring it up.

I think I may be the only person that has nothing to hide in my wallet? I do not think that I would care so much if someone was going through my wallet-I guess the issue would be that they didn't trust me more than snooping-but in this day and age, should anyone trust ANYONE they date? However, if someone went through my phone that would be over the line. Then again, maybe I just think that because I DO have things in my phone I wouldn't want others to see.

I met a guy online and we were exclusive/intense for 6 weeks just to find out he had lied about THREE GIANT things-having a kid, owning a house (lived with his mom), and being in police academy-which entailed a bunch of other little lies. I wouldn't have known this had I not ASKED to see his ID after he looked at mine and looked up his address. The kid thing he admitted, and police academy was easy cause my brother knew that he couldn't have the schedule he said he did.

In fact his stories were pretty outlandish so I'm sure there were all kinds of lies in there. You never know anyone is who they say they are until you get to know them well. And even then people are deceived. The most we can do is give blind trust and pay attention to our intuition.
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 51
view profile
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 12:02:19 PM
Have you been anywhere with him where he is familiar??? you could always say that your sure that someones just called him by a different name - and ask so why does he use the name he's given you????
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 52
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 12:16:18 PM

Knowledge is power - use it to find his whereabouts - and car rego to find the truth.
Then decide.

It should only take you half a day to do that. { If he is really worth the bother.}
Then you make up your mind properly - honestly - and if you are not happy with what you find - then you have your answers.

Dont ask him - that's foolish - if hes a lier he will lie.

Honesty = Trust - remember that.

Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 53
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 12:17:37 PM
I once had a long time girlfriend who without permission poked her nose into some of my financial files. As soon as I found out I dumped her. She was not a trustworthy person. Later to top it off I discovered she was quite a gossip. Upon reflection I am glad this happened when it did.
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 54
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 12:23:54 PM
First of all, I'm a HUGE fan of privacy and people should not be snooping in each others wallets, purses, phones, whatever. Having said that, I can also appreciate how having a feeling that something just isn't tracking/seems off, would cause someone to seek more verification.

Unless some of the things others have mentioned as legit explanations REALLY seem plausible in your particular situation, I think you need to seriously dial down your involvement with this guy. SOMETHING was bothering you enough that you checked out the information in his wallet and it didn't add up. How much you dial back is up to you,but I certainly wouldn't recommend planning a committed LTR with this guy.
Yeah, there is an outside chance that there is a legit or logical explanation for what you found in his wallet-but I'm looking at the fact that something seemed "off" to you,so much so that you checked his wallet.

I'm not quite sure what to tell people these days...I'm a firm believer in respecting privacy, expecting honesty, giving the benefit of the doubt-but given some of the conditions of the time, it may be necessary to give more credence to the concept o less trust and more verification.
Cindy O
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 55
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 12:27:05 PM

something in the back of my head keeps saying something`s not right!!!!!

This is your gut feeling.
Follow it.
Something is not right ... and finding out that he has a different name then what he has been telling you is not the full extent of "not right".
There is more to this.
That is what your intuition is telling you.
So why be concerned about just his name?
That is just the tip of the iceberg.

If I felt this way about someone, I would exit.
Stage left.
Get out.

TRUST your intuition.
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 56
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 12:30:08 PM
Be careful when Trusting another person - as it is relatable only to - your own discretionary abilities.

In my view IF"" it is 100% confidential - no one will even know about it - we are all entitiled to our personal secrets.
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 57
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 12:44:13 PM
OK. I usually just stay at the surface with forum queries, but let me break it down for you ...

This happened at your house right?
If you were at his home, you might have seen some mail or other indication of his "name."

So let me ask you, and legions of other women, one serious frigging question:
WHY would you even think of entertaining a man at your house BEFORE being invited to his?

For me, that is one of my "rules." I want to see where and with whom he lives. I find it one of the quickest ways to weed out "less than single" guys and those with sketchy life situations. Further (though I have yet to do this), it is possible to do a reverse address search and find out who may be listed as having phone service/ residence there. If you are really into background investigation, you can search property tax rolls, etc.

Now, I have not done this, myself, on a date, but I learned a whole lot while tracking down folks for our 40th high school anniversary. So, for those of you who find it difficult to suss out a trustworthy specimen of manhood, I encourage you to address your fears preemptively.

Anyway, I, personally RARELY divulge my address, or have a man over without seeing his residence first - even if it's just a quick visit to pick up his jacket, etc.

I don't know why any woman would sleep with a man without adopting the same policy.
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 58
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 1:03:20 PM
You should of ended it, If something kept telling you something was not right!! You were wrong going into his wallet!!
If someone went into my pocketbook, I would know.

If someone would of went though my pocketbook, last year, before my mom, passed away. They would of found alot of her cards, since I did all her shopping and banking for her!! Maybe its his father's stuff, and he does all his dad things.
It doesnt matter now, You were so wrong to go into his wallet!!!!
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 62
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 3:49:33 PM
A now retired traffic cop I know once stopped a balding elderly gentleman driving an old station wagon who ran a red light, asked for his license, received it, looked at the name, Marion R. Morrison, and said to the man "I dont recall this name but your sure look familiar." The driver replied "Do ya ever go to the movies?" The driver was a man we all know as John Wayne. My friend let him off with a warning
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 64
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 4:20:15 PM
Two months, suspicions, he’s in the bath, rifling through his wallet. Uh huh. Sounds like freakin true love to me. Jeezus.

You don’t know his real name, feel justified violating his privacy, can’t bring yourself to TALK TO HIM, but you’ve gotten naked with him. Wtf. Really this is just too effing stupid.

Unless he IS a secret agent, and now he has to eliminate you, since you found out.

My Spidey sense is telling me he doesn’t have anything to worry about.
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 66
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 4:59:00 PM
Only my relatives and a few old friends call me by my "real" name; most of the world knows me by my chosen name.

This was never a problem until I talked to a man from POF on the phone and let the name of the school where I teach slip. He went to the school's webpage and tried to find but couldn't because he didn't know my "real" name. He was very accusatory the next time we talked on the phone. His distress and his vehemence insured that we would never meet.

Ya know, I wouldn't even had minded if he had tried to find if I had a felony or an arrest record, but messing around with my job is something else.

Anyway, you find yourself in a pickle, Ms OP--now, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Let us know how it turns out.
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 67
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 5:32:33 PM
WTH!? You got into his WALLET?! Seriously... think before you act from now on... how would you feel if he had been digging through your purse?

About the name... my Grandpa went by Jimmy but his birth name was Harold, and my son uses my last name instead of his dad's which is his legal name... who really cares?
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 68
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 5:48:02 PM
You should care about mistaken Identity - and false allergations.
Falsely accusing someone of something - can have tragic consequences - plus it can be /is slander.
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 69
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 7:21:17 PM
I had one man do that while we were in a relationship and he was married!! Red flag, I caught him giving his real name when he called into the hospital where he worked to check on a patient. Then found out he was married. I ended that.
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 70
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/11/2012 10:00:53 PM
OP, I am wondering what made you think he might be lying about something?
what didnt seem right?
why didnt you ask him before going through his things?
complicated situation now.
I think that I would be honest with him.
get it over with or leave the relationship because it will bother you forever. are going to take the chance that even if he has nothing to hide he will dump you for going through his things.
If he has nothing to hide perhaps he will be forgiving of you going through his private things.
and he will have a good explanation that will not feel like a lie to you.
good for you to go by your intuition but it would be better to be honest and confront the person with how you are feeling instead of going through his things.

and please confront him in a safe place, never know how someone will react.
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 71
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/12/2012 1:46:40 AM

Am I the only person who is not tempted to look in other people's wallets, inspect their email and browser history or check cell phone texts?

No. You are not. I'm with you on not being tempted to spy...
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