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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 26
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Not in the least... I've been who I am since I was about 12.. I do however think it would be marvelous if there was relationship boot camps for both sexes , not bootie camps but boot camps where people are put through a therapy session devised by relationship psychologists to create better awareness and help with personal growth for people to make better choices and to become better "relationship material" ..
Not sure if it would benefit people who don't register properly on emotional levels but it would help some to explore why they are who they are and why they behave the way they do.. It wouldn't be for everybody.. but then again, not everyone can form successful bonds of value anyway.. just for people who desire a better understanding of themselves to become better people for themselves .. as for forums changing who I am .. naddah.. but it does reinforce my desire to see a boot camp on relationship understanding .. .. maybe make it a reality TV show and take some of the people from here who believe they should be "used" and transform their poor images .. I for one would love to watch a show based women from POF who treat themselves like they are usable dish rags into women who wouldn't allow themselves to be used.. I'd like to see a few with poor self images who condone alot of bs behavior here get a mental and physical make over .. then see how they come at this site condoning all the crap they do now on these forums.. be nice to see people who via action alter their dysfunctional behavior they inflict on these forums and their lives. .
 James44P
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 27
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/13/2012 11:07:17 PM
personally it doesn't change anything for me. Some of the people are sincere and the comments are really nice and sometimes the stories are just too bizarre to contemplate.
 clayart
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 28
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/13/2012 11:09:11 PM
I fabricated a custom made stainless steel glove for my left hand complete with Kevlar lining, 87 razor sharp spikes, 3 padlocks and a small flame thrower. It must be protected.

In case you are wondering, I'm left handed.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 29
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 3:08:50 AM
I never realized that whoever paid for a cup of coffee on a first date could lead to World War Three !

 Orgulloso
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 30
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 5:26:23 AM
OP,

Maybe I'm not "leveraging" the forums properly but my dating hasn't changed one bit since I've become a forumite.

Seriously, the forums have some very intelligent and helpful members. That said, if anything the forums have helped me understand some underlying issues that I had / have to address. Examples?

Make me happy. If I'm not happy how can I be in a healthy relationship.

Nurture the relationship on a one-on-one basis (no kids, no family, just the two of us.). Sadly I am to blame for not knowing how important this was before it was too late to save my marriage.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I've become very skeptical with online dating in general and use POF primarily for its Forums.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 31
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 5:31:11 AM
Before the forums I used to go on a new date kinda excited, open to meeting a new person. After reading the forums for years I cannot have a single thought without recalling a past forum dedicated to it.


I find myself feeling the same way. I'm meeting up with an old friend today who I've always been happy and excited to see, but since finding these forums, so many of the "voices" I've come to be familiar with here play in my head. Instead of being excited, I almost dread going. I'm not looking forward to it because I know everything thing I find enjoyable about it will come with the negative or analytic thoughts.

I wish I hadn't found these forums, although that has little to do with the people here themselves, just that maybe ignorance is bliss. I can't even imagine being excited about dating 'for real', which is why I've been hanging out here ... considering if it's something I might want to do.

Having said that, I must say that I find everyone here wonderfully human. It's not that, it's just that it is, well, depressing to have people and situations stripped to pieces to be analyzed and discussed (usually condemned). I wonder what happened to a person being a whole, and wonderful person, not representative of this one part or way of thinking. Some posters feel like vultures, ready to get in there and tear to shreds the example, and the person posting the example. That part is depressing.

Maybe there should be an optimist club here of posters whose sole purpose is to present the possibility of "the other side" in every situation to counter all of this negativity.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 32
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 6:17:11 AM
...confirmed what I already know.

Nevertheless, it's helped me to communicate this knowledge, a lot better.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 33
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 6:47:09 AM
I would say it has affected my dating life about as much as my neighbor's choice in cat food has influenced what color shirts I buy.


You haven't? Too bad. I sneak over my neighbor's house every now and then, turn their alarm off and check their pantry for the type of cat food they have. Then open my catalog of the week and pick a shirt. You don't do that? What's wrong with you!!

Funny, Pig.

On a different note. The themes, negative or not that run through the forum are so constant that they make excellent material for a novel and the overall human condition. Something that I am already over 200 pages of it. For instance, one of my female characters was discussing how sex changes everything and this other character says without the sex all you got is a friend zone type of situation. Their whole dialogue was classic forums.
 vancitygurl78
Joined: 7/6/2012
Msg: 34
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 6:53:15 AM
I would have to say both positive and negative.

And Im' more confused than ever! LOL

But I do know one thing. Reading the forums helped me understand my current situation and helped me deal with my breakup.

I read alot of ppl's tales and alot have given great advice. I'm definitely gonna be cautious next time I date. Not to mention, instead of waiting forever to meet a guy, I'm gonna take the plunge and meet them within 2 weeks time rather than get emotionally involved with someone I have never met yet!
 SingleInVancouver
Joined: 9/29/2012
Msg: 35
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 7:15:40 AM
It has answered questions I necessarily would not of posted myself. That and the entertainment factor.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 36
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 7:25:22 AM
I've come to realize that a good amount of the stories are just made up.It's entertaining to read peoples advice to someone that is pulling the wool over thier heads.In general though,it's been great for compiling a dating terms
thesaurus that is mostly negative.It will be published in due time!
 wolftxusa1966
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 37
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 7:32:00 AM

Some posters feel like vultures, ready to get in there and tear to shreds the example, and the person posting the example. That part is depressing.

My name is 'wolftxusa1966', not 'some posters'. Would you like me to cut back? Do you offer weaning patches for the withdrawal symptoms? :-)
 fall-blossom
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 38
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 8:49:21 AM
I no longer take dating seriously or get offended and have learned to take a more relaxed approach and have built back-bone. It has made a world of difference in how I feel and has confirmed that other people are going through much of what I've gone through with online dating.
 LovelyisDeedee
Joined: 8/27/2012
Msg: 39
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 10:02:33 AM
Not at all. I'm happier.... I've been meeting a lot of cool people on the forums. More dates of course. I'm totally enjoying myself!
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 40
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 10:12:36 AM
I found its difficult to meet women on here. Im just not sure anymore and my level of confidence has gone down. I get told im attractive (And no its not mommy saying) I've tried to write out an awesome profile, granted i've gotten responses but they go Poof After a few messages. Just not sure anymore
 Green_Jello44
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 41
view profile
History
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 10:36:36 AM
I never base my opinions on just what I experience in my bubble, so reading these forums gives me an idea on what both sexes, from different regions think, and I factor that into my thoughts. All the questions about pof, dating and relationships have been answered a thousand times, so I guess when I'm dating, I'm more prepared for each situation......happier? Not really, but definitely less tolerant of any bullshit ......
 wolftxusa1966
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 42
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 11:09:43 AM
Reading up here on mistakes made by others helps me avoid those and make brand-new ones on my own.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 43
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 3:40:36 PM
I am surprised some people get depressed
and put off dating by reading the forums.

Geez.....what newbs.

I only read happy posts
by the happy people.
and ignore the rest.
There is no law that says you have to read EVERYTHING.

If the silliness of complete strangers...unmet....can affect your day...
you should work on that.

Start by only reading the happy stuff till you have more balance.
Jaded bitter posts should only be viewed by folks indifferent to online silliness.
:-P
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 44
view profile
History
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 4:37:53 PM
"I only read happy posts
by the happy people.
and ignore the rest."
And where are you finding all these "happy" posts? I find 90% of the posts contain jaded bitter replies. I am no newb, read this stuff for years and it does affect your outlook on dating/people.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 45
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 5:04:50 PM
Simple.
Do what I do
and write your own.
:-)
 yellowlikegold
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 46
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 5:42:23 PM
I've learned a lot about especially about women's communication tendencies/friendzoning.

Stray-Cat is my favorite. He gives such thoughtful advice.
And writes
In an easy-going kinda way :D
 m8t
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 47
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 6:00:44 PM
I learned people really do have major encyclopedias
of trash they need to leave at the curb badly!

...and sometimes I get lucky enough to actually write some decent poetry
(however I better spell everything correctly).
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 48
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/14/2012 6:29:57 PM
The POF forums have served to reinforce my belief that there are a greater number of higher-quality men over at Match. If I were to ever find myself single and looking again, I wouldn't hesitate to rejoin---even though it's not free.
 supplygoodguy
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 49
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/15/2012 1:13:30 PM
aw.. dauntless you're sooo cute.. you're cynicism is hilarious.. and I'm glad you shared that here. It worries me sometimes how devastated the young ones get on this site sometimes as finding someone to love is serious business .. I remember being young, and am glad you can see what happens to you, happens to others and that you'll get through it and flourish.. and be as funny and resilient as you are..
 MacInOC
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 50
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/15/2012 3:41:48 PM
These PoF forums have completely screwed up my dating.

1) For a first impression, I now expect my date to arrive with free bacon. Bacon makes everything better.

2) I have no idea who is suppose to pay for dates, but she better buy the first damn coffee.

3) From the forums, I've learned that women have the same sex drive, horny thoughts and desire as men. Now I expect my dates to jump my bones before the coffee gets cold.

4) This is a bad time to bring up anything political.

5) Is the coffee meet (or third cup of coffee) count as one of the three dates necessary for sex?

6) I once had a one night stand (and liked it), so I feel guilty contacting the 95% who have "Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.".

7) My forum posts are from my alter personality. My dates are disappointed when I'm the nice guy who finishes last.

8) I'm average is size, just like the majority of men. Apparently (as I've learned in the forums) my dates care more about this than I, as I could not care less.

9) I prefer to meet eye to eye, face to face, or IRL as they say. Until then I never believe PoF profiles, even if they say "I love walks on the beach, bunnies, sunsets ....".
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