Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 justgowithit74
Joined: 10/11/2012
Msg: 51
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Browsing through the forums, I feel good about decisions I make and don't feel near as bad about the negative experiences I have had from meeting people on here. It could be far worse lol! It doesn't mean I am making fun of anyone's bad fortune ( there are enough comedians on here for that!) But it does put things in perspective for me.
 CopernicusOfLove
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 52
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/15/2012 4:23:11 PM
Well, it's given me a forum with which to share my otherwise internalized, sheer knowledge. I believe it has affected a user or two, in positive ways I like to think. I mean, frankly, it's just selfish to keep the truth to oneself.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 53
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/15/2012 4:29:37 PM

And where are you finding all these "happy" posts? I find 90% of the posts contain jaded bitter replies. I am no newb, read this stuff for years and it does affect your outlook on dating/people.


I laugh out loud and spit my coffee(or whiskey) on the screen at least once a day,so honestly I don't know what you are reading. Some of these long time peeps are freaking hilarious. I guess it all depends on what you find funny, and if you actually take some of this "stuff" to heart. I guess I've been called so many names by soooo many people I'm immune to this "negativety" of which you speak.
I don't know many dumb people that enjoy being called dumb. Maybe you don't enjoy people being "outed" on their simple minded actions???? One of the problems that I see in today's society is the never ending "It's okay Johnny, we all make mistakes" attitude that some have. These mistakes that continue to be made,sometimes by the same people is basically the definition of insanity. I say we are trying to "stop the insanity" with some of our words. Like Stray says, if you don't like reading it, than flip the freaking page. No one is holding a shotgun to your head here.
 Mistie3000
Joined: 9/14/2012
Msg: 54
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/15/2012 7:32:24 PM
It has helped me shrug things off because I have learned stuff I used to find bizarre is considered commonplace, within a certain context. Now when something odd happens I'm like "Oh I've read about this on the forums... guess it's no biggie."

:)
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 55
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/15/2012 7:37:25 PM
Mostly negative here. I now think most men hate women.


That's how it has effected me.

I dont hate women, and "do" find that women are WAY different when you meet them in real life vs online. However; most women I have come across, and watched bounce on and off POF, have the morals of fleas. (And seem to breed as much too)

The forums make me realize that I'm pretty average, and much like many other men out there; and that's a good thing.

Stray Cat makes me happy, Walt makes me laugh, Igor makes me think; and Shakt makes me Randy (All as a rule). :)


One of the problems that I see in today's society is the never ending "It's okay Johnny, we all make mistakes" attitude that some have


I'm a firm believe er that people often TRY to make major mistakes; because that how they were taught they would learn best!! (Sad; but true)
 qualityl
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 56
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/15/2012 7:57:54 PM
I think the forums can take a real great relationship, and turn it into Drama 101. I have learned that all people in life are different. Everyone has different feelings, cares, and wants in a relationship. Some people like to play games.
I have learned sometimes what the woman wants in a relationship, is not what the man wants. Thats just fine, but learn to always respect the person you are dating, or hurting.

If for some reason this person is on your mind, maybe its for a reason? I believe God brought you two together for a reason, sometimes you just don't understand why? Remember to always follow your heart. It can and will lead you to happiness, if you only try!
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 57
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/16/2012 7:19:38 AM
The forums are like Fantasy Land - they just don't mirror real life.

What I've read here in the forums from some of the incredibly bitter members and what actually happens out in the REAL world are two astronomically different things (thank God).

I've never let the forums influence anything I do in real life.
 afitnessmodel
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 58
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/16/2012 7:35:22 AM
The forums has help me big time about dating...It has improved the way I think about who I date. I've learn so much by reading all the post from all walks of life. The forums is the first reason I'm on pof. Its my morning coffee to me & helps me not to be in a hurry to meet just anyone. The forums has help me learn more about life that other people who go through the same things as I do. :o)
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 59
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/16/2012 9:09:11 AM
The only change I made as a result of the forums was to stop sitting back and waiting for the men I liked to approach me online.

Seeing other women I could relate to in here, post about thier experiences, gave me the courage to send a few introductory emails myself. Like those other woman, it didnt kill me...and I met the men I was interested in meeting.

Other than that, I cannot say I take too much very seriously in here...lots of brave arm chair warriors in here saying things they would never have the guts to say in reali life, it is entertaining.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 60
view profile
History
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/16/2012 9:23:56 AM
The forums, over the years, has allowed me to stay in touch with friends from afar, escape from work or problems when needed, meet some people every so often, and really, is the reason that I am still on here after all this time.

I realized through the forums, that POF was a social site like MySpace and FaceBook, and not to be taken seriously as a dating site. It allowed me to formulate my thoughts about meeting and greeting, dating, and even having some relationships. It also allowed me to realize more and more that tolerance is the foundation for getting along with others on many levels, and the forums have help me hone my skills in this area.....lol

cd
 m8t
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 61
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/16/2012 9:41:17 AM
^ Well said, and you are still a very sexy after all these years :)
(I shall always speak my mind no matter how it sounds).
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 62
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/16/2012 10:47:36 AM
I think its put me more in tune and its let me know that im not alone on the boat when it comes to ridiculous crap that can happen when meeting somebody for the first time an the trials an errors of dating...
 Ash029
Joined: 3/26/2012
Msg: 63
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/21/2012 4:06:57 PM
Its always interesting to read forums but certainly it doesnt dictate my happiness and yes I am hooked on some threads and realize how lucky I got since I went out on one date from POF and we have been together since.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 64
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/21/2012 8:18:38 PM
I have learned that several of the men that think they're unattractive are really quite cute, while a lot of average men think they are God's gift and bitter when they can't have what they want.

I have learned that disappointment really does hurt the spirit.

I have learned that many people seem to think online dating is akin to catalog shopping. See, order and it's delivered instead of caring that the person they want is actually that - a person.

I have learned more about how men feel and how they think.

I have learned that at my age I am still not ready for a relationship.
 wolftxusa1966
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 65
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/21/2012 9:00:13 PM
I have gotten some great advice here.
I have read many hilarious posts here that put me in a better mood.
So good in fact, that IRL people noticed a change and I talked to lots of people.
I learned that the reply rate from forumites in private mails was pretty much 100%.
That of interest mails in local ladies 0%. (Do I even need a percent sign for zero?)
I learned that the ladies I'd like to meet live at least two states away.
I discovered my liking of poetry.
I discovered that my real profile was useless, so I put up a fvck-it profile.
I discovered that I'm not the only one with a fvck-it profile.
Fvck-it profiles are a lot funnier than unicorns, butterflies and half glasses.
I discovered that the trick to not playing games is to put in your profiles that you don't want players.
All men want sex, all women want to stay home with a good book.

And finally, I understand the complex dynamics of setting up a meet and greet over a coffee to decide whether a date is in order to decide whether a second date should follow (not counting the meet and greet). I must have done it wrong before when I just said 'yes' to waste 20 minutes of my life getting a face-to-face glimpse of another person's life. Now I can spend an hour preparing to decline wasting 20 minutes by not answering a mail.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 66
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/21/2012 9:17:28 PM

... while a lot of average men think they are God's gift and bitter when they can't have what they want.

I have learned that disappointment really does hurt the spirit.


Do you think that possibly it is the second item that makes those average men appear to you as the first? Do you think that possibly these average men don't really think they are God's gift (your perception), but instead are hurt, and yes bitter, because they can't understand why they can't be loved and how unfair it all is?

I know that you probably weren't saying item 1 to be hurtful, but I thought I would show you a different perspective. And yes, there are likely some average men that fit your description.
 wolftxusa1966
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 67
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/21/2012 9:48:15 PM
Joe, I read that comment as pointing out the skewed perception of some men, which probably also happens with female counterparts. On the profile review I often see average-at-best men wonder out loud why they don't get picked while some handsome men humbly ask for help where I (as a reviewer) simply say 'help with what'? And often those attractive men have an inviting profile to go with it, yet somehow they view themselves in a dimmer light.

Face it, less attractive people have to shine in other ways to get noticed.

I'm not bitter about my empty mailbox. Being bitter is a choice. Doesn't mean I'm happy either. lol


why they can't be loved and how unfair it all is?

And how would you establish fairness? Mandatory first dates? Blind dates? A quota of some sort? Coupons? Dating is a choice. Discrimination is allowed if not desired. It's not the workplace. If a woman can do better (whatever her definition is), she can, will and should go for it. Bad news for us mailbox dusters, but that's how it is. The day we have welfare programs for dating is the day I turn celibate or leave the country.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 68
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/21/2012 10:14:15 PM
And how would you establish fairness? Mandatory first dates? Blind dates? A quota of some sort? Coupons?


I knew when I used the phrase "how unfair it all is" I was asking for trouble. I should have said "how unfair it all feels." It is easy to feel that way. I tend to be an idealist which can get me into trouble. Do I have an answer for how to make it fair? No. But I do know how much it hurts to know you are going to be alone for the rest of your life, especially when you have had a taste of the opposite.

I did get a chuckle from "mailbox dusters."
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 69
view profile
History
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/22/2012 7:53:19 AM
Reading the forums has given me less time to date. So, ultimately it has made me happier since it's saved me money on roses and chocolates.
 LipStickTommBoy
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 70
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/22/2012 7:57:50 AM
I just find it all really interesting. I cannot say it affects me personally, but it is pretty amazing some of the things I see. I do remember when I was * new * to the whole on line thing - so I try to really read what a poster is posting before I jump the gun.

I am a happy person due to my own personal life - and I am cautious no matter how I meet someone or bring them into my home. But not to the point where I live in fear either - that's senseless.

All I do know is there are a lot of unstable people out there - and all anyone can do is use their best judgement.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 71
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/22/2012 8:12:26 AM
^^^ Absolutely!!
The first time on here and dating...I was oblivious of the forums.
Lol...which was probably a good thing....I can honestly say...I never had a bad date.
I paid my own way...met in a public place....was polite but aware of what I was looking for.
Of course age, attitude and experience helps.
If I had read the forums first as a newbie....I may have been freaked out!
People are just people...IRL...on line and they are no better or different on a paid site!!
Been there and the other sites had "forums" you'd hear the same stuff.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 72
view profile
History
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/22/2012 9:46:21 AM
Let's just say I hope that I never run into some of the posters, or some who thinks like them.
Reading some of the post in a "who should pays thread", or in a similar threads.
Sure the feeling is mutual.
Other than that I read,and post for entertainment purposes only.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 73
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/22/2012 10:04:45 AM
The forums didn't have that much effect.. Its reading the profiles that I find I rather not message most people.
I try and email one profile each month but hard to find who I would like to massage in the first place. So I dont message much. The people who post in the forums are the small group of what is out there and its not a good presentions of real life. Atlist not to what I see here in SO CALI.
 HalcyonOutlook
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 74
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/22/2012 11:12:21 AM
Forums has had no effect, but then again, I haven't had any dates (at least not yet, but remain hopeful still).
It has definitely been addictive & entertaining just browsing the forums. Was very overwhelmed initially with all the do's & dont's and suggestions, but learned a very important lesson - there is no single perfect formula for what works when it comes to dating and finding that special mate. So as soon as I come up with a decent thoughtful description, I hope to test it!
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 75
How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?
Posted: 11/22/2012 3:53:27 PM
The forums are good for entertainment purposes. It can be interesting to read other people's viewpoints about certain topics. But the forums haven't changed my dating life.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life?