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 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 108
1st meetingPage 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

It's not the amount of money that's the issue it's the effort he puts forth to invest in me (time, energy and when we go out I expect him to pay at least most of the time). As a woman who out earns the majority of men I date I do not want to care of a man financially! I am looking for a partner not a child or a bum with a cup! I would find it hard to believe that a real mature man would feel comfortable letting a woman pay and not courting her! I don't need friends to hang out with and go dutch, I have them! Why would I pay to hang out with some random cheap azz that puts no effort in from POF?


Going dutch doesn't necessarily mean a man a cheap. It certainly doesn't mean a woman is taking her of him. At least he is willing to pay his share. Unlike a woman that expects a man to pay for her.
 wolvesatthedoor
Joined: 5/8/2013
Msg: 109
1st meeting
Posted: 10/16/2013 3:40:37 PM
Msg 104, clearly you feel the all too familiar "entitlement". Also I would suggest dating up from those that you "out earn" that pursue you, if possible. I can understand the op, she was raised in the 1950's, but that's just living in a long ago past. Modern women want to be equal I thought.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 110
1st meeting
Posted: 10/16/2013 5:39:44 PM

If you dislike women who feel the guy should always pay and if he doesn't he's "cheap" then do not date that type of woman.
Same applies to women.

Date who you feel compatible with. Why make it so complicated?


It's not always that simple. According to many men, the "entitlement princesses" don't always show their cards until the check is presented---some never show their cards at all. They might pay for their own drink, but just won't go out with the guy again. He'll never know the real reason.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 111
1st meeting
Posted: 10/16/2013 5:52:56 PM

I have seen plenty of women talk about multiple meets in the same day, keeping meets short, and scheduling them back to back.


So who is twisting your arm to “date” (or whatever) this way? If you don’t like it, don’t participate.

I don’t waste my time with meaningless “meets” with anonymous strangers from the internet. If some people have no standards with regards who they CHOOSE to “meet” or “date” it’s sure not the fault of those of us who do.


If I'm buying a drink of any sort for a stranger I never met, it would feel like I was getting a drink for a homeless person.


But…..aren’t you supposed to be “meeting” the possible love of your life? What a great way to start a “romantic relationship.” Swoon.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 112
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History
1st meeting
Posted: 10/16/2013 6:33:38 PM
According to many men, the "entitlement princesses" don't always show their cards until the check is presented---some never show their cards at all.


I think they're fairly easy to spot, for the most part. However, we all do make mistakes from time to time. They are much easier to spot in person than they are online though.


So who is twisting your arm to “date” (or whatever) this way? If you don’t like it, don’t participate.


No one. In fact, I don't meet people this way. I think online dating is pretty terrible for trying to meet people of quality. It's really only good if you want to find easy women who will give it up on the first meet. Kinda like the fat chicks in the bar scenario.

 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 113
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History
1st meeting
Posted: 10/17/2013 5:17:25 AM
^^^^I agree.
It's sad, but to some it's the way it is.
Funny how down the road the same guy could become a jerk even tho he paid as a "gentleman" should.

<div class="quote">
"Nobody has ever been able to explain the logic behind women who measure a man's interest by how much and how willingly he spends money on her, but then insist that they aren't interested in his money"

So why bother trying
Well..There it is..Thread closed..
OP obviously showed what is she really cares about, I mean really making this big deal about that coffee????
She sais she didn't stay long?Was it because she didn't get her coffee, was he a nice guy, looked like is picture, was he funny, was he ___fill in the blank, or none of that matter, sice he was already written off?
 Patrick45015
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 114
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History
1st meeting
Posted: 10/17/2013 9:57:22 AM
I think all this shows that first meets are a good idea and work like they are ment to. If I meet a woman who feels entiltled to stuff because she is a woman then we are obviously not a match. Neither of us will be wasting our time on the other
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 115
1st meeting
Posted: 10/18/2013 1:09:03 PM
OP: I wonder if you were really attracted to this guy, would any of this mattered?
I agree with many posters, ok to THINK he was cheap, RUDE to text/tell him and especially saying daughter thought he was cheap. I do think it's odd, the follow up text from him was he could not wait to cuddle? Coffee and cuddle, hmmm? Maybe, a cheap coffee cuddler.......
 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 116
1st meeting
Posted: 10/20/2013 8:31:40 PM
when two strangers meet and there is attraction then both should try their best to impress the other by buying the coffee for both and if they are not attracted to each other then out of respect for each other they should buy their own coffee and make the meeting as short as possible . It is a big turn off when either one expects the other to pay for their own coffee .
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 117
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History
1st meeting
Posted: 10/21/2013 4:23:46 AM
Men will willingly spend money on women they find hot

Not this man. It is not how I "woo and win" someone I am interested in.
Even tho I agree he should have at least asked, I really would like to find out is there anything else was "wrong" witht his man, or was he written off becasue he didn't bow down to this princess?
I asked a question, didn't get an answer.

She said she didn't stay long?Was it because she didn't get her coffee, was he a nice guy, looked like is picture, was he funny, was he ___fill in the blank, or none of that matter, since he was already written off?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 118
1st meeting
Posted: 10/21/2013 5:51:38 AM

Men are supposed to woo and win if they are interested. That is nature. Men will willingly spend money on women they find hot and wont on those they don't or don't feel they will get anywhere with. SO until that changes, guys, don't complain about womens' attitudes.


It's not natue, it's how we've been socialized. Our social structure has changed significantly in the last century, it will continue to change as time passes.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 119
1st meeting
Posted: 10/21/2013 9:34:09 AM
I really would like to find out is there anything else was "wrong" witht his man, or was he written off becasue he didn't bow down to this princess?
I asked a question, didn't get an answer.


I seriously doubt you'll ever get one, in view of the fact that it's been close to a year since the OP started this thread. I suspect he was written off for other reasons besides the ones she complained about---nevertheless, he dodged a bullet since she was rude to him and called him "cheap".
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 120
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History
1st meeting
Posted: 10/21/2013 11:19:47 AM

I think it is engrained in women to want a guy who can take care of her and support her. Even if in reality she is capable of looking after herself.


It is also natural for men to want a young, loyal, attractive girl to take care of his home, and raise his kids for him. Women fought for equality for years, yet you're still saying you want a man to take care of you? Doesn't sound like equality to me.


Men will willingly spend money on women they find hot and wont on those they don't or don't feel they will get anywhere with. SO until that changes, guys, don't complain about womens' attitudes.


I won't willingly spend money on a woman I think is hot, those women are a dime a dozen. However, I have no issues taking care of a good woman, they are much more valuable.
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