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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why do women fall for players?      Home login  
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 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 47
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Why do women fall for players?Page 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Nice of you to "think" that at 22 years of age. But, at 52, I have seen with my very eyes, the first step the "player" takes. It's basic, and it involves the "look" of him,catching her eye and then gentle "approach". And yes, I also stated women are the emotional beings that they are, which the good player preys on. But, it almost always starts with the visual. Especially with the bambis of your age group, and then later in life, with the older ones,cause it's rare for any man over 40 to be "good looking" and "in shape", so, if they ever do get approached by a "good looking" man, they are not telling him to go away.

Quite telling that you seem to be an ageist as well as think your experience is more credible than a factual credible peer-reviewed study. So it seems the your way of support is to use your age and opinionated experience of what affect gals rather than factual evidence of how gals response to guys looks when making decisions. Okay then.


And for future reference, you have no clue what I will spew when actually ranting. I, personally, love listening to words of wisdom from the younger peeps. Keeps me on my toes.

Seems you're unaware that citing studies /= words of wisdom from the younger peeps. Okay then.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 48
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/20/2013 3:23:16 PM

Lol would probably believe that coming from the ladies!

Not unsurprising as going by the misogyny, sexism against gals, and belief that having a vagina = being stupid.


Seriously they don't half pick some dodgy characters and then when it all goes to pot suddenly, they have a massive fit wondering why guys are so bad? Well try spending a bit of effort looking for the guys with a good personality and social interests rather than one that's got washboard abs and a Brad Pitt face.

Probably for the same reason guys who wonder why gals are so bad don't spend more effort looking for gals with good personality and social interests rather than the (much) younger gal with supermodel/p*rn star looks. That reason being many people tend to want physical attraction in a romantic/sexual relationship unless this guy with a good personality and social interests is cool with a sexless relationship.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 49
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/20/2013 3:32:10 PM

Seems you're unaware that citing studies /= words of wisdom from the younger peeps. Okay then.


Tongue in cheek young lady. Wisdom is usually wasted on us old farts.

You have continuously repeated and cited "surveys" and "stats" along with the comment of "along with my observations", here and a few other places. Now , in my experience, surveys and stats are for people that use them(for their own arguments). If, I ever felt going thru and dissecting these bits of information, I could easily(and have) sway those surveys and stats to fit my needs.

"factual" and "credible" are funny words by the way. Not the ha ha kinda funny either.

In your "observations" have you ever seen a "ugly" player?????
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 50
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/20/2013 3:36:19 PM

In your "observations" have you ever seen a "ugly" player?????

Yes many many many times in my observations most players are ugly with some being average and a few being good looking. The good looking guys weren't players as they didn't have to be since they were sought and heavily pursued by gals =and use to gals being the initiator/aggressor or doing such heavy hinting that there was no need for games as he knew going in he can initiate and get what he wants.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 51
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/20/2013 3:43:43 PM

The good looking guys weren't players as they didn't have to be since they were sought and heavily pursued by gals


But,but, I thought your surveys and stats show that girls generally aren't attracted by the "looks" of a guy?????? And this opinion is based on your "observation" is it????? Hmmmm, sumttin to think about I guess. I stand corrected.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 52
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/20/2013 3:49:23 PM

But,but, I thought your surveys and stats show that girls generally aren't attracted by the "looks" of a guy?????? And this opinion is based on your "observation" is it????? Hmmmm, sumttin to think about I guess. I stand corrected.

You thought wrong as my studies and stats show that gals don't make less rational decisions because a guy is hot. It said nothing about gals attraction so how the hell did it show that gals generally aren't attracted by the looks of a guy?

Sumttin to think about is how did you get 'gals don't make less rational decisions because a guy is hot' equates to 'girls generally aren't attracted by the looks of a guy'? o.O

Care to explain how you got 'girls generally attracted by the looks of a guy' from me talking about how their rational decision making, memory score, and cognitive abilities aren't impaired by the attractiveness of a guy:
Egh no my experience/observations say otherwise as well as studies show it's guys that tend to make less rational decisions, score lower on memory, and have impaired mental cognition based on the attractiveness of the gal while for gals the attractiveness of the guy has no effect on gal's ability to make rational decisions, memory score, or memory cognition.
http://webcenters.netscape.compuserve.com/homerealestate/package.jsp?name=fte/prettywomen/prettywomen
http://www.japantoday.com/category/kuchikomi/view/men-act-stupid-when-talking-to-beautiful-women-study-shows
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=why-interacting-with-woman-leave-man-cognitively-impaired
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 53
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/20/2013 5:56:57 PM


The good looking guys weren't players as they didn't have to be since they were sought and heavily pursued by gals



But,but, I thought your surveys and stats show that girls generally aren't attracted by the "looks" of a guy?????? And this opinion is based on your "observation" is it????? Hmmmm, sumttin to think about I guess. I stand corrected.


Touché, Walts, and you are incorrect. To answer the question that is the subject of this thread, without any stats or surveys or even observations, only a guess: men are not as stupid and women aren't as smart as women they think they are. It's only a guess though.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 54
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 12:47:08 AM

Touché, Walts,

Touché he somehow got me citing studies that gals don't make less rational decisions because a guy is hot to mean gals generally aren't attracted by the looks of a guy.


only a guess: men are not as stupid and women aren't as smart as women they think they are. It's only a guess though.

His response of what he though my studies showed counters your guess. However your guess is understandable as its quite ingrained misogyny in society and male gender superiority that many guys think they are smarter than gals and belittle gal's estimation of their intelligence. I find way more guys aren't as smart as guys think they are than I do gals. If guys weren't as stupid I doubt there would be so many complaints of gold diggers, nice guy laments (thinking his only flaw is being nice/thinking he just has to be nice to get a partner), and such. When it comes to being played my observations show guys are just as stupid as gals.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 55
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 4:44:52 AM

When it comes to being played my observations show guys are just as stupid as gals.


100% agreement on the point. As to my "guess," it was meant as somewhat of a humourous remark. And your observation of the belittling a gal's estimation of their intelligence, I know women in the real world with female gender superiority who belittle the intelligence of men and I've read many threads here from women here as well doing the same thing. Both genders are guilty of belittling.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 56
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 5:09:41 AM

100% agreement on the point. As to my "guess," it was meant as somewhat of a humourous remark. And your observation of the belittling a gal's estimation of their intelligence, I know women in the real world with female gender superiority who belittle the intelligence of men and I've read many threads here from women here as well doing the same thing. Both genders are guilty of belittling.

Perhaps those gals you know in the real world and the gals in the many threads here remarks were 'meant as somewhat of a humorous remark'.

Amusing you claim both genders are guilty of belittling when the only one doing the belittling here are males this thread responses itself make it out as if gals are the sole/main ones to fall to players. In my experience both genders are guilty however guys tend to belittle gals intelligence far far far more than gals belittle guy's intelligence as it's a norm to think guys are smarter/more intelligent than gals and gals are dumb.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 57
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 11:50:33 AM
Many nice guys shoot themselves in the foot with a feeling of entitlement - effectively thinking 'I give her so much attention/am always available; the amount of effort invested warrants that she is *obliged* to like me.'

Very true -- wouldn't have to tell me twice! ;)

When it comes to being played my observations show guys are just as stupid as gals.

Totally agree. Men are from earth, women are from earth. We like to call the girl or guy we were seeing, after things broke off against our favor, that they're a b!tch or a ba$tard -- far more often than they actually are. It's a defense -- they're the bad guy when things don't go my way and my emotions are hurt -- therefore, they HURT me (there's always a person at fault and it's them). Gal-pals & bros tend to promote this.

Much the same way, some women will want to label guys as "players" far more often than they actually are. She'll be at the bar, have her hopes up, he's a bit out of her league, he charms her, she really digs him, her hormones/emotion get the best of her, they hook up, then the next days she realizes his interest isn't all there. Ba$tard PLAYER!

But say he's at the bar, she's a bit out of his league, he has his hopes up, his charm seems to be working, he really digs her, her hormones/emotion get the best of her, they hook up, then the next days he realizes that her interest isn't all there. B!tch!

When it doesn't go your way, your emotions take a hit because they're not that into you, you want to blame them. Yeah, it sucks, but it doesn't mean someone PLAYED you. Your *hopes* certainly could have PLAYED you. Some people don't know the concept of this difference -- nor are they encouraged to by their peers. But why is that difference unrecognized by so many?

Because when many are mall-watching and see a noticeably Good Looking guy being charming & a social butterfly & flirty, and see that he gets #s, has his successes, etc -- they call him a PLAYER (for playing the field). Playing the field is different than playing a woman (or man). In fact, when one plays the (singles/dating) field very well and gets their successes better than the average Joe -- there's LESS motive to "play" any PERSON by lying to them, being manipulative, etc.

People who can't play the FIELD (singles/dating scene) well, are more apt to be the ones playing a PERSON -- like telling a girl everything she wants to hear and use manipulative tactics to "tag" her if/when he can, and run off.

The irony is, people who are seen as "players" from afar, tend to not be the people who plays other PEOPLE. We just want to shift blame because, yeah, that guy (or girl) has a lot going for them and we don't want to feel "not good enough" when things don't work out when we had our hopes up. Ba$tard Player!! ;)
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 58
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 12:14:58 PM

. Your *hopes* certainly could have PLAYED you.

Yep. Most of the time when I hear a guy/gal complaining about being played it's their hope playing them not another person.


The irony is, people who are seen as "players" from afar, tend to not be the people who plays other PEOPLE.

Definitely my experiences and observations. The good looking guys I know are called players because they're surrounded by gals however in my experiences/observations good looking guys generally aren't players in the sense of being a manipulator/liar/deceiver as they don't have to be since they easily attract gals often to the point where gals pursue them.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 59
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 12:41:55 PM

Perhaps those gals you know in the real world and the gals in the many threads here remarks were 'meant as somewhat of a humorous remark'.


Perhaps, but luckily guys at least are known for having a good sense of humour.


Amusing you claim both genders are guilty of belittling when the only one doing the belittling here are males this thread responses itself make it out as if gals are the sole/main ones to fall to players


You mentioned guys being stupid and get played as well, to which I and other since have agreed. As to the belittling, you seem to be doing quite fine on your own and the only guys this would bother are thin-skinned.

I notice, too, that you also had nothing to say either way about my mentioning female gender superiority. Is that something you've observed and familiar with in the real world and forum threads?
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 60
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 12:52:34 PM
You mentioned guys being stupid and get played as well, to which I and other since have agreed. As to the belittling, you seem to be doing quite fine on your own and the only guys this would bother are thin-skinned.

I stated guys and gals being equally stupid while you stated guys aren't as stupid as gals. Unlike you I haven't done any belittling as I stated the gender stupidity was equal. Though do tell what belittling I've done?



I notice, too, that you also had nothing to say either way about my mentioning female gender superiority. Is that something you've observed and familiar with in the real world and forum threads?

I did say something about your mention of female gender superiority you even quoted it: "Perhaps those gals you know in the real world and the gals in the many threads here remarks were 'meant as somewhat of a humorous remark".

As for your question no I haven't observed anything familiar in the real world or forum threads of many gals touting female gender superiority. I haven't even observed some some gals doing this it's only been a few gals and by few I mean 1 or 2 and she's shut down fast by gals saying it's equal and guys saying guys are superior ala guys invent everything/guys built civilization/gals only offer a hole to bust a nut in/gals only have their looks. Any time there is gender superiority in my observations it's almost always a guy as I see way way way way way more guys touting gender superiority than I do gals. It seems the only place I could get such an experience of many gals touting female gender superiority is in a misandric feminist environment while I could get the many guys touting male gender superiority in any environment (yes even the misandric feminist environment as for some reason guys tend to bombard those).
 theanswerguy2
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 61
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 1:26:21 PM

So how does one do that if the players say the same things in the same way as sincere men? Telepathy? Divination? Ouija board?


Coma White and Igor covered it well. Observation and analysis.
I would add, carefully observe how someone treats those from whom they have nothing to gain.
Con men flatter to gain trust to get people's money.
Players treat women like a queen or a princess to get something from them (usually quick sex).
How do they treat the homeless, janitors, gardeners, busboys? Do they ignore them or treat them with contempt? Or do they treat them with respect just as they would someone with money or looks?
Do they thank people who hold a door open for them, or do they just stride through without a word, as though they were "entitled"?
These types of behaviors offer clues to a person's character, and sincerity.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 62
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 1:46:50 PM

I stated guys and gals being equally stupid while you stated guys aren't as stupid as gals.


No, actually that's not what I said at all. In Message 181 I wrote:

men are not as stupid and women aren't as smart as women they think they are


I have not called women stupid and how you thought I did is beyond me. Perhaps I missed some necessary punctuation? Try reading it without "men are not as stupid and".
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 63
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 2:05:00 PM

No, actually that's not what I said at all. In Message 181 I wrote:
men are not as stupid and women aren't as smart as women they think they are

I have not called women stupid and how you thought I did is beyond me. Perhaps I missed some necessary punctuation? Try reading it without "men are not as stupid and".

I didn't say you called women stupid I said "you stated guys aren't as stupid as gals" and you did ala "men are not as stupid". You're using the term "as stupid" meaning you're comparing stupidity and since gals are the topic gals are the only logical implied option for who guys aren't as stupid as.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 64
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 2:52:13 PM

You're using the term "as stupid" meaning you're comparing stupidity and since gals are the topic gals are the only logical implied option for who guys aren't as stupid as.


I used "as stupid" meaning underestimating. But you see only what you want to see despite the contrary. Just like people will do with surveys, studies, research; interpreting it, intentionally or unintentionally, to suit themselves and agenda.

The only real truth out of this entire thread is both men and women have either played or been played by others.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 65
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 3:08:11 PM
*** edit
I see you meant the latter estimation 'as women think they are' to be the estimation for the former as well.
***

<div class="quote">I used "as stupid" meaning underestimating. But you see only what you want to see despite the contrary. Just like people will do with surveys, studies, research; interpreting it, intentionally or unintentionally, to suit themselves and agenda.
"as stupid" is a comparison if your the intention was underestimating then "aren't that stupid" or "aren't so stupid" would be suited. I wasn't only seeing what I want to see despite the contrary as there was no contrary since"as" is a comparison.

Nor was there any agenda but it seems you have one with your fixation on dismissing surveys, studies, research, etc that counter your experience-based claims. Not unsurprising though.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 66
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 3:48:42 PM

*** edit
I see you meant the latter estimation 'as women think they are' to be the estimation for the former as well.
***


Good, finally.


Nor was there any agenda but it seems you have one with your fixation on dismissing surveys, studies, research, etc that counter your experience-based claims.


No more than the fixation you have that if it in a surveys, studies, or research it has to be true. For me, I question everything, I take very little at "face value", and in doing so I usually learn something new in the process.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 67
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/21/2013 4:07:13 PM
No more than the fixation you have that if it in a surveys, studies, or research it has to be true. For me, I question everything, I take very little at "face value", and in doing so I usually learn something new in the process.

I don't have that fixation. Nowhere did I state, suggest, imply, or mention that "it has to be true". I did state my my observations/experiences backing it up with studies for naysayers saying 'it's only your experience' or I cite studies to show other claims they are touting as facts aren't supported by factual evidence.

It seems the only people it bothers are those who make claims touting it as facts or applicable when it isn't supported by factual evidence.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 68
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Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/22/2013 6:09:33 AM
The above series of (I think) mistaken exchanges, is why I encourage everyone to learn how to recognize common errors in studies and observational conclusions. There are both valid, and invalid "studies" all over the place, just as there are plenty of ways that direct observations can lead to erroneous conclusions (due to prejudices, or previously believed errors).

If one is to reject a "study," or an "observation," one must be able to specify a valid reason to do so. Not just declare the "all studies are fake," or that "all observations are the result of prejudice."
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 69
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/22/2013 7:47:00 AM
If one is to reject a "study," or an "observation," one must be able to specify a valid reason to do so


I don't always just "reject" I just don't always "believe'. I do this based on the fact that most studies and observations are based on humans and what they view/feel at that moment of time. Sit 100 people in front of something and ask them what they see. Many times you will get the majority saying they see something and then, there will be a few that see something else. Neither are wrong,yet, if you want, you could conclude the majority are correct in what they view, because the "numbers" say so. Stats can be a funny thing.

I dislike stats and surveys used in discussions. Kinda like the argument of the "legality" of things. Just because something is or isn't "legal" doesn't make things right or wrong in my mind. Then again, I'm not normal, so most people shouldn't even consider my opinion.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 70
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/22/2013 1:20:41 PM

If one is to reject a "study," or an "observation," one must be able to specify a valid reason to do so. Not just declare the "all studies are fake," or that "all observations are the result of prejudice."


I don't think all studies are inaccurate. However sometimes they can be inconclusive. I don't think you can generalize an entire group of people. Based on the results of a small sample size that was used in the study.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 71
Why do women fall for players?
Posted: 6/22/2013 3:09:13 PM
There are both valid, and invalid "studies" all over the place, just as there are plenty of ways that direct observations can lead to erroneous conclusions (due to prejudices, or previously believed errors).

Very true. I think a vast majority of studies are valid in some sense -- in the evidence they gather, but the conclusion within the study can be incorrect. But even from those, one can take the evidence they gathered while disagreeing with the conclusion. On another thread, a woman posted an interesting article about women being able to pick up guys. IMO, it had a false conclusion that women can't really pick up guys (at the bar, etc) and that it's so difficult. Much of it was based on many guys Preferring to be the ones making the moves... but that assumes that there's a success.

And in some sense, for both genders, we want someone to "catch"... and guys can be taken by surprise if a gal comes onto him blatantly like a classic drunk guy does at a bar to girls ("Okay, what's the catch? Something's afoot in the Circle-K here...!" he may be thinking). But that classic-drunk-guy method isn't THE process of picking someone up, as it has little success.

But with plenty of bar experience of the past & present, at different types of bars, their conclusion is jumping the gun. At best, a gal may get blown off more than one would think -- but for my Observations, as well as my peers' observations, the gal, pound for pound & with equal 'game', will have a much higher batting avg than the guy, hands down.

As far as the "player" thing is concerned -- guys (and gals) who have a lot going for them and are attractive don't need to manipulate anyone. Plus, playing the "treat a girl like a queen/princess" isn't manipulative if you see her as merely decent looking. Manipulating is when you project yourself as wanting to spend all the time in the world with her and go out on dates and OMG I can't believe I met someone like you, etc -- so she gives into a roll in the hay that night because there will be many more nights to follow -- when there's not.

I have had some friends who are classic "tools" and could be labeled as "players" quite easily. They don't promise that when they don't feel that way, and have interest in a possible roll in the hay. I also feel no motive to bring that on, either. If anyone wants to look into "player handbooks" -- it's all about *NOT* treating them like princesses or swooning them to believe you'll wisk them away in Relationship Heaven starting-right-now.
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