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 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 17
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
No, he is not bi-polar. The only sign of mental instability I see in him is hanging around as long as he did.

I am guessing he really is not interested and you are a nut job.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 18
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History
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:22:21 PM
Are you kidding? Is HE bi-polar, you need to take a good long look in the mirror.

And just what do you be mean by her being whorish, do you mean she didn't play games with this guy and had sex with him? Is that your idea of being a good woman, to lead a man on for years and to put him down over & over again but to want him back when someone else offers him an actual adult relationship?

You need to get yourself to a professional therapist and work on your issues. This guy isn't the problem, your weird attitude toward men is the problem.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 19
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:42:32 PM
Sounds to me like he was a................ ahem................. "nice guy." And he was treated by this woman like a "nice guy."

This is why I get angry with the whole new "nice guy" stigma. While it may not excuse her behavior, it seems to be a wonderful excuse for rejecting a "nice guy." I believe that the so-called "good guy" is a new hybrid of the "bad boy" and the original "nice guy" because it was determined that "nice guys" were boring. But after decades of claiming to want a "nice guy", having to admit they were wrong was too much to bear.
 SingleInArlington
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 20
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:53:37 PM

So alot of communication has taken place and I feel this guy hasn't gotten over his grief (it's been 8 years) and possibly don't want to open his heart right now to any woman. Or is he just Bi-polar and I need to run!!!


Seems like he has been trying to open his heart to you for 2 1/2 years. You know some guys can be a little slow but it seems he finally got the message.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 21
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History
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:57:27 PM
Single widowed man that shows interest, was at your side during a rough patch and is helpful and considerate? So you brush him off, introduce him to another woman and turn him down when he asks you out, so NOW after 3 years you're wondering why he gave up????? Are you thick as a brick?
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 22
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:59:36 PM
Why hasn,t she responded to any of our comments on here yet,
 Keeper_of_Secrets
Joined: 5/16/2012
Msg: 23
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/24/2012 8:19:26 PM

Why hasn,t she responded to any of our comments on here yet,

Your guess is as good as anyone else's
Could be that the replies do not fall in line with the script that she formulated within her mind.
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 24
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/24/2012 9:41:51 PM
At some point, even dogs will stop chasing a car when they realize they are never going to catch it. Why are people so eager to throw out the bi polar moniker when most have no idea what it even means.
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 25
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/24/2012 10:17:57 PM
Why are people so eager to throw out the bi polar moniker when most have no idea what it even means.


Ya know, I agree. I have Bi Polar and I find it offensive when people akin "wild behaviour" or behaviour to which they don't agree, to such.

However, the continued point here is our united opinion that the OP has perhaps played with this man's emotions for far too long and now complains that he didnt reciprocate HER advances for once.

He was supportive during her dark times as a customer, rushed to her side, (perhaps missed out on some business as a mechanic in doing so), was accepted then rejected yet again and again, accused of taking advantage of her vunerability at some stage, introduced him to a "whorish" nurse who nursed her dear dying father and thinks he's Bi Polar? Nice. Very nice. I've said enough now.
 amethystdancer14
Joined: 8/30/2012
Msg: 26
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/25/2012 3:52:57 AM
I think he opened his heart to you some time ago, you've taken advantage of him with your "helping me with my car and other things". He's finally realised you've used him all this time and doesn't want anything more to do with you. Do the decent thing and the leave the guy alone.
 britepurdywmn
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 27
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/25/2012 5:56:40 AM
Bi-polar?

Is that the best assessment you can make? Why is it so comforting for people to label every ex, and everyone who disappoints us as crazy?

(no, I don't classify anyone who is bi-polar as 'crazy', at all....it's just a word people use to put others down)
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 28
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/25/2012 7:18:33 AM
Tell em PassionFlower,
OP you shun the man out like breaking Amish and now that he moved on without you, you want him back. A too bad it's called self respect.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 29
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/25/2012 9:21:30 AM
This threat is proof of why I refused to date women that play the "Christian" card, or the other women are sluts or as the OP calls her "whorish". The guy is not a player but an idiot. He spend a whole year being rejected by the OP. He is not trying to get you when you are the most vulnerable mourning the father, he is trying to be there, be compassionate, be present. Yet in that gesture, the OP and her issues rejects the guy again, but introduces another female. I would think the term "whorish" came about because the guy eventually slept with the nurse. More power to him.

In the end, this is not about bipolar. This is about a prudish woman that wants men to lick her feel and do all this things for her, while she holds her emotional cards back and uses them for her advantage. When the guy finally gives up, wakes up, or whatever, she does not like the outcome of her own actions and still blames the guy for some malady.

She is sad because she no longer holds the cards of her emotional manipulation, giving the guy enough of a leash with the idea that they maybe could be more than "just friends" but maybe not, since she is not ready.

This are the type of women that think (and they are right) that all men are pigs and dogs with one thing in their mind, sex. They are also they type of judgmental women that label any other woman with a higher libido than they are "sluts". These prima dona's are the upholder of that moral code. In the end they objectify themselves because their sex is something to be used to manipulate men, find "the one." They use the metaphor of the cow and the milk, and why should men pay for it when they can get it for free. To me that is labeling oneself a cow. Since sex is a commodity, not something that good girls crave, they go through life holding the gate. The funny things is that it's these girls that end up in one night stands f vcking their brains out. Then living in denial, by blaming alcohol, blaming the men as being, players, user, not accepting that they had some control of when the panties flew off, and they reverted down to sin.

But they are good girls. And they will find their share of idiots that will buy them drinks, dinners, sometimes diamonds, pay for their cars, while they keep the men on a leash with an illusion that some day, if they are good boys, put their balls in her freezer, that one day they will reach the promise land. Only that it will not happen, and when it happens, it's not the norm. Because said woman, choses the the safety, security and comfort, over physical desire.
This is where all the good guys buy their tickets and stand in line waiting for their perfunctory rejection and bequeathing of their cojones.

So OP, why after a year of rejection should this poor smock now respond to you?

Let him go.
 msemeraldeyes73
Joined: 9/11/2012
Msg: 30
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/25/2012 9:25:39 AM
This man liked you, pursued you for 2 1/2 years, he helped you through the loss of your dying father.

As for being a Christian, I am and you really need to get right with God. He would not condone you using and hurting people the way you have with this man. Without even knowing him, I can tell he deserves better than you. You give Christians a bad name. You should ask this man for forgiveness for what you have done to him.



Well, now he doing the push/pull tactic.


Well, Honey if he is, he learned it from you. You pulled this man in to get mechanic work and emotional support when it suited you and then pushed him away when he got too close.
Maybe he is trying to see if your method of manipulation will work on you. For his sake, I hope he has moved on and finds a woman capable of loving someone other than just her selfish self.

OP - try reconnecting with God before you pull anyone else into your world.

Best of Luck
 2FunCoco
Joined: 5/26/2011
Msg: 33
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/26/2012 3:41:40 PM
I LOVEEE your reply!
 2FunCoco
Joined: 5/26/2011
Msg: 34
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/26/2012 3:43:50 PM
Men are really really tired of this crap from women. Step up or just leave him alone. I understand you are NOT ready for a relationship but REALLY the Christian card over a period of time. People do NOT like to be put on "hold" until you get your life together. Really?! OMG! Now you just need to have your "cake" and realize YOU blew this. period.
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 36
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:34:37 PM
Op~ you sure do go on and on about some guy you claim to be better than. If you are the example of a 'good woman' I'm going to whore skip merrily down that yellowbrick road. Your behavior is ridiculous and your lose concept of reality is the only thing polar here. Stop man bashing just because this guy figured you out and left it on the curb.
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 37
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:36:59 PM
I find it hard that he is going to chase you for three years for sex and not get anything,I myself would not,By the wayus men don,t under estimate a good women.I have to agree with the poster above me,stop man bashing.Thats why you cant find a good man
 Inflated_ego
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 38
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:40:57 PM
Is this thread even for real?
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 39
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:43:47 PM
LOL..I hope not^^^^^^^^^
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 40
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:57:14 PM
Here's my 2 cents...
First-OP-
I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like this was a long process and that can really wear a person down.
Now-I'm going to tell you that my initial reaction was that this man WAS coming on a bit too strong...perhaps not with any genuine/conscious intent to exploit you, but I can see how it could be off-putting.

But with all that has gone on over time, I think you need to get out the butter and jelly, because whatever this might have been-now it's TOAST.
I'm not going to join in the festival of throwing rocks at you, nor am I going to throw rocks at the guy in question.

I think you need to move on. Yep, this might mean finding a new mechanic and "odd-job person". You may have to cultivate other friendships to avoid isolating yourself, but I suggest you take some time to regroup and reflect...so that you can go back into the dating scene with your head on halfway straight. Yeah yeah, I know-they say that you don't have to be crazy to date but it helps!-however, I think one can be a bit TOO MUCH crazy...
Don't diagnose this guy, and don't diagnose yourself...the "relationship" such as it was, just didn't work out. Nobody needs to be blamed or held accountable here. Let it go. Move on.
Cindy O
 cashleys
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 41
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/26/2012 11:07:57 PM
You know people have issues and relationships are complicated and religion even makes it harder. People throw around bi-polar and it is just wrong to do so. Just because people are complicated does not mean they have a mental disorder -if so WE would all be diagonosed with it.
 i_ski_do_u
Joined: 11/26/2009
Msg: 42
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:52:12 AM
The guy has been around her for 3 years and she had nothing to do with him being around? Yaw, right. Makes me wonder who may be bi-polar or at least psychotic; a mental state is often described as involving a "alternative or unusual conception of what is referred to as reality".
 amethystdancer14
Joined: 8/30/2012
Msg: 43
Help!!! Is it Bi-polar????
Posted: 11/28/2012 3:14:17 PM
OP there seems to be a few things that don't make sense here. A man who is "only" after a sexual relationship would not have pursued you for so long - if he was that type of person, he would have given up after what you have portrayed is 3 years of turn downs, put offs and rejection from you and moved on to "easier" prey. Secondly, he again seems to be going to a lot of effort for just sex if he helped you with your car, helped you with "other things", and consoled you after your father died, all over a 3 year period and not getting anything from you in return. And last but not least, IF as you say in your response that he was only interested in sex, and that was the reason why you supposedly kept rejecting him AND you introduced to him to another woman who, gave him sex, why would you in the least bit be upset? In your opinion, he only wanted sex SO introducing him to another woman who gave him sex then gets him off your back (no pun intended) and you can go on your merry way. In fact most decent women, if a man was constantly bothering them with unwanted sexual advances, would find some way to AVOID THEM ie I'm sure there is another mechanic you could have gone to. Sorry OP but as we say in Australia, your story smells off like a bucket of prawns in the sun.
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