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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Are we getting harder as we get older?      Home login  
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 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 76
Are we getting harder as we get older?Page 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I dont know about "harder" but I know my BS tolerance level is set much, much lower. I understand now that what you see up front is what you get in the end, and that no amount of idealization is going to change his/her bad habits, etc. or miraculously make us more compatible.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 77
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/27/2012 8:38:56 PM
But are we getting also less flexible?
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 78
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:10:52 PM

But are we getting also less flexible?


Depends on what you mean by flexible?

The way I've seen it... I'm a hundred times more open minded, well rounded and flexible than the men I meet in my dating pool (which is pretty restrictive unfortunately), cultural personalities differ from country to country. Although seeing the posts from the ladies here, the male of the species seem pretty consistent as far their general directions at this time of life.

Friendship first has always been at the top of my list, which to me doesn't seem all that stressful and yet...... somehow that seems to produce a death knell response.. you can actually see their faces droop in disappointment, apparently 'friendship' is much too much effort to expend considering their target destination for bothering to date at all lol.

Have another take?
 Your_Move
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 79
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:29:16 PM



Friendship first has always been at the top of my list, which to me doesn't seem all that stressful and yet...... somehow that seems to produce a death knell response.. you can actually see their faces droop in disappointment, apparently 'friendship' is much too much effort to expend considering their target destination for bothering to date at all lol.


Hehe - and THAT paragraph could be a thread all its own ;)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 80
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 4:44:35 AM
You know, "friendship" is something that probably has specific meaning to men, and I presume women as well. Generally, my friends are not sexual partners and we engage in quite different activities, like sports, business and physical labour of various types. Perhaps when you come out with "friends first", the men are left wondering what they can possibly do with you within their usual context of friendship.

Generally, my "friends" have transcended the duration of my sexual relationship, in may cases being permanent aspects of my life. None of my exes are friends in any sense of the word I would understand. A good female "friend" of mine has been quite vocal on the subject of sex, affirming that once sex happens, there is no more friendship.

Perhaps you ladies need to find a different term? Its always true that when I am looking for sexual partners, I am not looking for a friend, and usually not at a friend either.
 Rapunzel1964
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 81
So we all stare at our screens, reading profiles and wish.
Posted: 11/28/2012 5:51:22 AM
Was joking the other day with a friend about what is considered desirable in a man "then" vs. "now."

Then: really nice guy who has a cool car and will impress my friends.

Now: really nice guy who has good health insurance and who will impress me.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 82
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:26:35 AM
Oh hogwash... I've had male friends both platonic and sexual...I think it's all a question of mens infernal c*cks, especially after 50 when they're starting to feel the first signs of those "stirings" (as has been defined to me ) NOT being quite as Johnny on the spot as they used to be... at that moment you guys become simply OBSESSED with the little Johnny lol!

Testing him, experimenting with him and doing all those things you think you might have (heaven forbid) missed.. next some juicy porn that wets your appetite for some young things who you think will bring him back to his former glory......when that isn't enough, then the kinks start "Oh yeah let's try 3 or 4", some S&M.. maybe an orgy or 2?!? Until finally you come to the realization that hell, you'd need a hydraulic lift along with the little blue pill to have him rise to the occasion maybe 4 times a year...and that for most intents and purposes he has sadly become a reference point 'nostalgia' of that ever ephemeral 'stirring' taking roost in your memory banks ;-).

Now, if none of that kills ya with your diabetes, seen or unseen heart conditions, in shape or not, while on the great quest.. you'll opt as a last resort, for TALKING about sex on the internet, giving advice, sarcasm, blaming the women you think you have known or.. acting so very savvy, literally swathed in earnest braggadaccio, weaving complex and vertiginous stories of swashbuckling romance and seductive conquest... then being forced to find the excuses you need if someone is tempted by your tales and ends up pressing you for a real face to face meet with this perfect Don Juan di Marco that you've created across oceans and time lines... and then... you, not surprisingly, exit stage left.... fearfully knowing that your fantasy cover will be blown.

And what might be missing from this search for that precious tumescence? Maybe it's those little things that so many women know in their bones... that most excitement starts in the head, the heart and the soul.... that somehow or another you've forgotten that you're not a dog... but a human, with the gift of reason, fantasy, touch, creativity, spirit and yes, even those risky emotions that you try so hard to deny. Sex is always more than just biology, so when did you guys start forgetting that? Or that someone loving you and loving back can feel wonderful too and could actually produce 'stirrings' that last long into what's left of your future as a whole and complete human being.

Jmho
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 83
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 10:00:24 AM

rustytraveler
Until finally you come to the realization that hell, you'd need a hydraulic lift along with the little blue pill to have him rise to the occasion maybe 4 times a year...and that for most intents and purposes he has sadly become a reference point 'nostalgia' of that ever ephemeral 'stirring' taking roost in your memory banks ;-).

{shaking my head} You seem to have had some bad experiences with a man or men. My sympathies for that, but coming here and generalizing about all men, insulting all of the men here, is NOT going to help. Or does it? Did that rant make you feel better?



rustytraveler
you'll opt as a last resort, for TALKING about sex on the internet, giving advice, sarcasm, blaming the women you think you have known or.. acting so very savvy, literally swathed in earnest braggadaccio, weaving complex and vertiginous stories of swashbuckling romance and seductive conquest... then being forced to find the excuses you need if someone is tempted by your tales and ends up pressing you for a real face to face meet with this perfect Don Juan di Marco that you've created across oceans and time lines... and then... you, not surprisingly, exit stage left.... fearfully knowing that your fantasy cover will be blown.


There are men here, men in your age bracket, who do not need a “hydraulic lift” to “rise to the occasion”. And they are not afraid to meet. I myself have been on more than 100 initial meetings in the last 3 years. But after reading your posts, I would never meet you.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 84
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 11:28:25 AM

As for "friends first", I have enough friggin friends - I want a lover and partner, I don't fvck my friends.


I can't tell you how many women I have known have expressed that exact sentiment in that exact way.
 funnershine
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 85
So we all stare at our screens, reading profiles and wish.
Posted: 11/28/2012 11:31:10 AM

Generally, I find it amazing reading the stories being told on these forums. My question is, how is it that you all appear to meeting all kinds of prospects that simply do not belong to the same socio-economic class as you are in. It just does not happen in my own life.
That may be the real issue with online dating. You meet all kinds of people you would never ordinarily meet, and none of them really fit with your life.


I think after meeting so many you come to realize that and prefer to meet another way.. I find if I meet people in a more natural setting that already removes any pressure of trying to make a shoe fit and simply does not..

namaste
funnershine
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 86
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 11:35:07 AM

There are men here, men in your age bracket, who do not need a “hydraulic lift” to “rise to the occasion”.


Agreed. Perhaps a "facelift" would be the better solution for a woman who's repeatedly encountering this issue with men in her age bracket.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 87
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 12:02:03 PM
One thing I'll never get over is how ghastly some women can be in the bedroom. Sometimes I've wondered whether I've been sleeping with a plank. Needless to say I'm not dating planks any more.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 88
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 12:26:33 PM
Oh My! VK is so wise for one so young:
I dont know about "harder" but I know my BS tolerance level is set much, much lower. I understand now that what you see up front is what you get in the end, and that no amount of idealization is going to change his/her bad habits, etc. or miraculously make us more compatible.


After nearly 40 years of "adulthood," [well, those first 10 - 15 were probationary] I concur: VK hit the nail on the head. By this age we are what we are. With that in mind "I yam what I yam" and I have a pretty good idea of what I desire. Now, that does not discount the odd spark of attraction that can arise out of the blue. But, as VK opines, and I obliquely paraphrase, it's what we do after that initial spark that will make or break a couple. Just because someone is initially attractive doesn't mean we are compatible. Eventually, those other characteristics / traits will eventually come to the surface. Hence my belief in long periods of "dating" before arriving at that "committed" place.

TK
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 89
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 12:32:37 PM
At this point in my life, all I want is long periods of dating. I'm not really ready to make a permanent commitment this time around, just yet.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 90
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 12:33:30 PM
Nope those have been pretty general experiences with men MY age in my dating pool... including thinking they are gods gift with a list of picky preferences like..... "looong hair because it's more pleasing to them". lol

But as usual you gentlemen have a hard time dealing with Our facts of life nor do you care or bother to! But yep it's true, I'm a mouthy ol'broad, I'll own it... but after 5 years in these loony bins so called 'dating' sites ... let's just say that you guys pretty much broke my 'man smoother' ... so go pick on the newbies, they buy all that crap.

And as usual........ YOU MISSED THE VERY PERTINENT PUNCH LINE at the end... Wow, how typical is that?

Ahaah..... sooo you dated a 100 women Henry..... and not a single one of them was allowed to be more than a temporary piece of meat? How in the world did that happen??? But then again isn't that exactly what men use these sites for.... a conveniently free "Whores* FoR* Us" pit stop? Oh please.... put your wounded, outraged pride back in your pocket and own it for what it is.... staggeringly self important and self serving.

And I thank my lucky stars that I've got my fella... he's part time but blessedly came without a single BS bone in his body and from duh... REAL life, where there are still a few up front honest people left. So I won't be too awfully disappointed missing out on your wonderful self. But thanks for the site tip.

Cheers ;-)
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 91
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 12:48:57 PM

Agreed. Perhaps a "facelift" would be the better solution for a woman who's repeatedly encountering this issue with men in her age bracket.


Ok Barbie and you're only 53, so I assume you'll be keeping the nip and tuck folks in business for a very long time... and I can see where having a sugar daddy would come in handy, but guess what darlin'? I hate to tell ya, but you still can't stop the rot on the inside. ;-)
 CDMer
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 92
So we all stare at our screens, reading profiles and wish.
Posted: 11/28/2012 1:34:53 PM
Yet others remain angry creatures awaiting another SO to absorb their animosity toward their ex-husbands, former boyfriends or other men in their pasts.


Referencing posts 85, 90, 99 and 100 I rest my case.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 93
So we all stare at our screens, reading profiles and wish.
Posted: 11/28/2012 5:18:32 PM
I think most people missed what Rusty was saying--granted the harshness of what she said prior seemed to dull down the message

--but basically women want more than just a fvck and SOME men who for whatever reason want to fvck first and find out your name later...in some ways I can understand this--on both sides...you have a man who had never had an issue all at once not understanding his own body and desire..so he wants to make sure before he gets involved it is with someone that he will be able to perform with...are most of them going about it the right way--no cause if you put the fvck as the most important then i think both groups (males and females) go younger for the guaranteed good time

...but I think when that happens we all miss out of the benefits of being this age...and that is what Rusty's last paragraph points out...

We all can view our lives as what we used to be---we know those people who are popular in high school and then afterwards they are still 10 years later the high school head cheerleader or the football star...and they never grew one bit...they still reflect on what they used to be ..in their 20's, 30's, etc...heck if you ask some of them to tell you about who they are..they will go all the way back to high school--those were the important years of their lives...now stay with me on this...

In our 30's and 40's most were raising families or dedicated to work and in some ways who we are grew ...we became part of other things and other things became part of us..we no longer define who we are by past reference points cause we have made new ones...better ones... now we are all over a certain age and again hopefully we have evolved...some are still considering their high school as their "GLORY DAYS" others are considering a different time period...but how many are considering right now ...this time in their life as their GLORY DAYS...

I really don't want a man who is looking back, who is done, he feels he isnt what he used to be cause a real man at 50 is so much more than he has ever been--the life, the experiences, the whole sum of his character...he knows who he is and by god to me he is the hottest thing on the face of the earth...he just knows...and well if by chance some biological chance of life his plumbing isnt working one night...Im not the least bit worried...I know that by morning it will be ...or the next night or we will come up with a way to compensate for the mutual benefits of all....now will he be upset, withdraw, be angry..sure...any any lady out there who doesnt think if she was a man she would feel the same way is out and out lying to herself.

God I would hate to be a man and be judged by my penis all the time..no wonder some are such****
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 94
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 5:51:21 PM

Ok Barbie and you're only 53, so I assume you'll be keeping the nip and tuck folks in business for a very long time... and I can see where having a sugar daddy would come in handy, but guess what darlin'? I hate to tell ya, but you still can't stop the rot on the inside. ;-)


Bwahaha hahaha hahhhh!!!!
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 95
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:49:36 PM
I think she just paid you a backhanded compliment telling you that you look so good you must be fake!


One thing I'll never get over is how ghastly some women can be in the bedroom. Sometimes I've wondered whether I've been sleeping with a plank. Needless to say I'm not dating planks any more.


Nice analogy for an uncomfortable relationship where you are board with the sex and the relationship doesn't have a sliver of hope - I know that's corny!!!

 jimintoronto2
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 96
So we all stare at our screens, reading profiles and wish.
Posted: 11/28/2012 8:37:50 PM
Giggles10000:

You make some excellent points. I went to a high school reunion 10 years ago when I was just a young'un at age 60. The reason for the reunion was that we were all turning 60 that year. I had not seen any of them since graduating from high school at age 18. It was totally amazing at how I could pick out the ones who were the class valedictorian etc.. They hadn't changed a bit and actually made speeches at the reunion. I was looking for the exit at that point.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 97
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/29/2012 6:37:20 AM

.I think it's all a question of mens infernal c*cks, especially after 50 when they're starting to feel the first signs of those "stirings" (as has been defined to me ) NOT being quite as Johnny on the spot as they used to be... at that moment you guys become simply OBSESSED with the little Johnny lol!



One thing I'll never get over is how ghastly some women can be in the bedroom. Sometimes I've wondered whether I've been sleeping with a plank. Needless to say I'm not dating planks any more.


Geez, putting down the opposite sex goes both ways, eh?

I dated a man in his 20s who had problems in the bedroom. He said that I “intimidated” him. I dated a man in his 60s who had no problems. It really is the individual, eh?


Ok Barbie and you're only 53, so I assume you'll be keeping the nip and tuck folks in business for a very long time... and I can see where having a sugar daddy would come in handy, but guess what darlin'? I hate to tell ya, but you still can't stop the rot on the inside. ;-)


What makes you think that Hal was referring to herself? Ya know, some of us take care of ourselves and look good without the nip and tuck, but some others, well, they just don’t look so good for their ages.


I could pick out the ones who were the class valedictorian etc.. They hadn't changed a bit and actually made speeches at the reunion. I was looking for the exit at that point.


Do you mean that they hadn’t changed in the way they look or the way that they acted? I have not been to a reunion, but I did receive a picture of one. I couldn’t believe how the popular kids in high school “grew up”—some who had been pencil thin are now obese.

Re: angry, bitter women:


Referencing posts 85, 90, 99 and 100 I rest my case.


Don’t judge me by that/those poster(s) and I won’t judge you by the men who do nothing but complain about women who cleaned them out in a divorce, cheated on them, and otherwise did unpleasant “things.”



 CDMer
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 98
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/29/2012 6:51:25 AM

Don’t judge me by that/those poster(s) and I won’t judge you by the men who do nothing but complain about women who cleaned them out in a divorce, cheated on them, and otherwise did unpleasant “things.


You have a deal. There are both happy and unhappy people, be they male or female.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 99
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/29/2012 8:21:02 AM

I dated a man in his 20s who had problems in the bedroom. He said that I “intimidated” him. I dated a man in his 60s who had no problems. It really is the individual, eh?


Gwendolyn, you're spot on, as usual. It seems that men in our age bracket get unfairly bashed by some bitter women as having ED---and frankly, it gets tiresome. If every man a woman sleeps with suffers from ED, that suggests to me that the problem might not be on the men's end.



Ok Barbie and you're only 53, so I assume you'll be keeping the nip and tuck folks in business for a very long time... and I can see where having a sugar daddy would come in handy, but guess what darlin'? I hate to tell ya, but you still can't stop the rot on the inside. ;-)


What makes you think that Hal was referring to herself? Ya know, some of us take care of ourselves and look good without the nip and tuck, but some others, well, they just don’t look so good for their ages.


Sour grapes can indeed be rotten. No, I wasn't referring to myself---however, in ten years or so if I felt I needed a nip and tuck, I'd consider it. Why not?

The remark about a sugar daddy is another example of a tired, worn-out assumption that if a man is ten or more years older than his woman, he must be subsidizing her. After all, what could she possibly see in that "wrinkled, ED-afflicted old fossil", except for his money? This generalization seems to be perpetuated by both sexes, unfortunately. In fact, my net worth is actually higher than his.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 100
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 11/29/2012 9:04:15 AM
Reading all this stuff about wrinkles, ED afflicted old fossils would depress me if I actually experienced any of it in real life.....

Well, perhaps "wrinkles", but that does not appear to be strictly a man thing........
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