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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Are we getting harder as we get older?      Home login  
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 sentback
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 176
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Are we getting harder as we get older?Page 8 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I think the opposite women past 50 are more relax and dont put a BIG emphesiss on LOOKS.. They are NOT so picky, remenber a woman DONT look as good at 50 than when they were 20 or 30. Men as the saying goes and I have witness this myself a MAN gets better looking with assets and more money he has. Sad but true. I myself like women my own age, as long as she took care of herself, women in there 50s are more easily to talk with, and NOT so judgimental.
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 177
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/21/2012 11:19:05 PM
Sometimes, I feel like, because wrong decisions that I have lost the dream. I have come to terms that I won't ever have the perfect family or life. However, to quote Kyan Douglas, "...Just because you life doesn't unfold the way you always thought it would, you can still turn it around and make it special."

Sure it is more difficult. Some of us are jaded. Even I go through periods of feeling jaded and hopeless. Some never lose that feeling whether by nurturing the anger or untreated depression. Kicking everyone else just because you have been kicked, how does that improve your life? The ONLY person we can change is ourself and even that is no picnic.

For those that went off topic: The woman is probably not just psychotic but a psychopath. Check out the threads about narcissistic personality disorder. The men (or women) they capture are being manipulated. Even strong souls have fallen into the trap of the emotional vampire. Their trick is to seem just like the soul mate of the victim. They pick the weakest sheep and when the poor person is not useful to them anymore, the emotional vampire moves on.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 178
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/22/2012 10:32:49 AM
And moves on leaving devastation for the first 18 months or so before great relief that the blight has left the man's life :)
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 179
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/23/2012 8:04:49 AM
Or two years before the woman can hear his name without emotion.
 SILLYGIRL111
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 180
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/23/2012 8:48:58 AM
At this age I am more aware.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 181
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/23/2012 10:11:34 AM
I am getting smarter/more efficient, IMO. If I am not attracted to a man & if he doesn't have the intellect or character that I feel I deserve, I'm not wasting his time or mine. The weeding out process gets tougher, but we get more specific in who we choose to be around, & the ones we are around- well they are more well suited for us.
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 182
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/24/2012 12:19:23 AM
I agree, Unamorparami. Thanks for the affirmation.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 183
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/24/2012 12:46:37 PM

There is such a thing as a..."Mr.IknowthereisnosuchtingasperfectbutiknowilikeyouenoughtoWANTtoworkatarelationshipwithyou"...
HE'S the one I'm searching so badly for!!! :)


I was looking for the female equivalent
 LuvADKs
Joined: 8/31/2011
Msg: 184
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/24/2012 4:36:16 PM

Are we getting harder as we get older?


Our arteries are getting harder..
 ArmyBrat64
Joined: 12/25/2009
Msg: 185
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/25/2012 9:27:16 AM
Unfortunately, I feel I have gotten harder to please, and faster to reject. It all seemed tons easier in high school.
 ArmyBrat64
Joined: 12/25/2009
Msg: 186
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/25/2012 9:30:24 AM
Yes, a lot of men I have met on here seem to think we girls are cash cows here to support them. And get very offended when you stop the free food and transportation.
 ArmyBrat64
Joined: 12/25/2009
Msg: 187
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/25/2012 9:33:29 AM
Aren't we all? Lol
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 188
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/25/2012 9:39:52 AM
I agree and disagree.

I feel in practical ways I have become harder. I reject any potential partner who is in debt. I don't care what the debt is but if it's a mortgage then it should mostly be paid off by age 45. Other debts - car loans, holiday loans, sofa loans, loans for this that and the other should not exist. If you need a loan for something then your financial planning is up the spout. How do people expect to pay off loans if they can't afford to buy the item in the first place?

In other ways I am much less restrictive. I used to cross the street to avoid somebody that I thought was gay. I would mock cross-dressers and lesbians. That was back in my teens . Now I see them as real people with different lifestyles. I do not see them as a threat. I even have some friends who have alternate lifestyles.

I get restrictive again when it comes to law breaking, drugs, abuse etc. I don't have time to put up with nonsense like that or people that indulge in that kind of nonsense.

With me, it's pretty mixed. I'm a lot more open than I used to be and I know the things I don't like or need (most of which are things that impinge upon my personal safety).
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 189
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/25/2012 9:41:36 AM

Yes, a lot of men I have met on here seem to think we girls are cash cows here to support them. And get very offended when you stop the free food and transportation.


Wow, just wow! I have my own vehicle and my own food stash! More than that, I have an income and a place to live and run my own business.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 190
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/25/2012 10:48:18 AM
Lol. A chipmunk. Lol. Maybe I should have said that I can go to BiLo to get my food, unaided.

I definitely don't need the free soup kitchens - lol
 dennigrain
Joined: 12/23/2012
Msg: 191
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/28/2012 7:07:48 PM
the paradigm is shifting. and as such, it may simply be the fact that the biological imperative is attaining more credibility than what we have been delivered by way of romantic film, literature and everything that leads us to the false assumption there is one "perfect" person. truly, this was a derived concept and never part of our nature as another animal on the planet. it is easier at this point to believe that we will meet several differing persons, who, will be somewhat compatible for a given period. the idea that one should invest the remainder of life contorting in some fashion to fit a relationship only for the sake of it "lasting" would, hopefully, be headed the way of the dinosaur. and, one should be able to ascertain, at this point in life, early on in meeting someone, whether or not the contortion is forthcoming. :)

"hey, happy 60th. thanks. what did you wish for. i hoped to find the perfect partner to spend the "rest" of my life with."
 kjay41
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 192
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/28/2012 8:27:16 PM
I agree; it is easier to reject for the smallest reasons, I am trying to work on that
 Universalguy12
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 193
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/29/2012 5:56:27 AM
Ain't that the truth, about being picky, maybe we all need to stop thinking about it and just start dating "attraction isn't a choice" personally I think we can be our own worst enemy. We are getting softer not harder, we let every little thing affect us. Being mentally strong is important, if you live in the future it will create fear and your imagination goes crazy, live in the now.

Going on a date/ coffee with a man should be just fun but some people make such big deal out of it. Tell me what is the worst thing can happen? you don't get on and you say thanks but no thanks< next. let go of the Fear.

from Oz
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 194
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/29/2012 10:48:12 AM

I agree; it is easier to reject for the smallest reasons, I am trying to work on that


I wonder whether we end relationships and reject them more because we're afraid of trying to work through the issues? I was reading an article online the other day and though I am the first to say that online articles are not the most reliable sources of information, it did make some sense. The author was talking about how the first marital breakup was a shock, after which people knew knew how to breakup and this led to serial breakups with some people getting married many times over. Indeed, when I saw somebody filling in a form at a court office that I was visiting, I saw a gentleman entering the number 5 in the box for - either marriage number or previous marriages. That didn't exactly make my eyes pop out on stalks but did make me wonder whether instead of getting married, people shouldn't just move into duplexes and live next door to each other while retaining their freedom and commitment. Where children are concerned, it's a bit trickier.
 SweetHeartedLady
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 195
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/29/2012 7:48:20 PM
I know I want a man on the same wavelength as me in all areas. I am wise enough to know that is important. I rather be alone than not with a partner on the same mature emotional level.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 196
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/30/2012 4:33:14 AM

Are we getting harder as we get older?


He said "harder".
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 197
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/30/2012 1:22:08 PM
He said "harder".


So?

I just feel that like others I make hardline decisions based on past experience where maybe flexibility is required.

I have also found I have become much more tolerant of my fellow humans.
Rather than crossing the road not to walk past a homosexual as I did in my youth, I'm quite happy to deal with them in business and as acquaintances. Similarly, I have no problem dealing with any other sexual oddity not classed as "normal". On the other hand my definition of "normal" has expanded some as there is no defining line between normal and abnormal. The whole concept of abnormal is flawed.

Certainly most nations agree that pedophilia is bad, rape is bad and so on. There are some that don't uphold those beliefs and I'm just glad I don't live in one of those countries.

As my dad says, human sexuality isn't one way or the other. It's a long scale with infinitely fine gradations.

 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 198
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Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/30/2012 4:49:41 PM
Msg 224

We are getting softer not harder, we let every little thing affect us.

Very true. Just got off another forum (a non-dating site), and an older fellow got so upset by receiving the "dislike" action (thumb down) that he stopped posting. This was a very regular and active poster, quite liked by most, so they started to inquire what happened. Turns out, he had a heart problem and suffered depression, and the aforementioned critique was too much for him, he has to take a break now.
The moral - be nice to your fellow debaters (or get off those mean forums).
 E-woman
Joined: 11/8/2012
Msg: 199
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/30/2012 5:04:57 PM
Yes

Online dating is the fast food of this century. Think about it, pictures of singles. We click thru tv, we drink
monster and use 5 hr energy. Men now have viagara. Everything is about instant gratification. Chemistry,
the spark, not all relationships are instant. It takes time and motivation to get to know someone, but oops
you just got another email....

Maybe this one, no that one......

There is no glue, we are all just shifting around.
 dcinsc13
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 200
Are we getting harder as we get older?
Posted: 12/30/2012 10:17:49 PM
As I got older, I realized I used to settle for anything. Not anymore! I know what I want and I know how to please him! I just wish the men my age didn't look like they were my dad! My sister's husband is 55 or 56 and he is a hunk! I know they exist, but I guess they aren't having to use a dating site to get a woman! I am not ugly but I don't go anywhere to meet men. My sister met him at work years ago. My daughter found her man on a web site cause she doesn't go out either. Maybe I will find a man to be with on here, I certainly hope so!
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