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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery      Home login  
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 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 25
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the LotteryPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Here's the heads up: I used to own a mortgage company and I am still in real estate investments--- there isn't a lender on the planet other than the high interest ones who will refinance when there have been late pays- even with the second note paid off.

Pay the house off and leave her a good amount of money. No matter what your issues were/are, she was once your wife.

As far as being fair to the men out there- a brief reference by one of the men- I didn't want be involved in listing/ doing anything with the house we had jointly at one time so I gave it to him- the equity anyway. There was trust there that he would maintain the payments on time while we were still on the note together. He made them on time and it was a good move on my part, and was also good for him as well.

Rather than say that she doesn't do this or that, or make the payments on time, I'd find a way to make the payments on time and have her reimburse you or whatever will work to get the credit squared away and get the house refinanced.
Be a part of the solution.


Depends on your relationship. I grew up with my ex, we went to grade school together. I would give him a generous piece of the pie if I won the lottery. He is a stable guy and a loving father and would use that money to better the lives of our kids. If something ever happened to me then our family would need him, and I would want him to have the resources to take care of them.


Attagirl. ;)
 Abbeygirl58
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 26
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/27/2012 7:30:25 PM
Yes jerk....and I would also love to see HER win the lottery!!!
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 27
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/27/2012 7:36:40 PM

Now thinking hypothetically; If I DID win, paying off the house would just be a drop in the bucket...
-- If I decided to pay off the 2nd mortgage ONLY, and force her to refinance for the other mortgage over 30 years again, would you consider that being generous, or being a jerk?


Well hypothetically if I won the lottery, I would donate maybe a mill to the OP to get himself and his Ex-mortgages squared away so us Forumites wouldn't have to see any more of these jerky type of threads here...
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 28
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/27/2012 7:51:19 PM
My ex doesn't speak to me unless he has to - even when I'm standing next to him talking to the children. He doesn't reply to my texts/emails unless he HAS to or it will benefit him. No 'courtesy 'thanks for letting me know' responses etc.

Pretty much he hates me.

My kids were shocked when I told them that if I won a LOT of money I would give him enough to buy a house. My reason? He is my children's father. If he is financially secure, safe and settled, they will have peace of mind about him. They will be happier knowing he isn't struggling to pay the rent/mortgage.

So, yes, I'm in the 'pay the mortgage out, give her some money and be happy ' camp :)
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 29
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/27/2012 7:56:11 PM
I've re-thought my post....here's my new thought

F*k it.....keep it all and move to Costa Rica...
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 30
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/27/2012 8:40:56 PM
My ex wouldn't give me a dime if she won. Hell, she wanted all of the family pictures so that she could decide (like all of the other belongings) which she would keep. I went through what I could before turning them over to her; I kept the duplicates and scanned as many of them as I could. I gave her 4 full boxes plus some stuff too big for the boxes. She was supposed to give back half; I got 3/4 of one box back.

Nope, not a dime for her either.
 SingleInArlington
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 31
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/27/2012 8:52:44 PM

I've re-thought my post....here's my new thought

F*k it.....keep it all and move to Costa Rica...


Yes, I do like this plan :)
 newonthescene76
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 32
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Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:14:13 PM
You don't have children together and it sounds like you two aren't particularly friendly with one another. If that is the case I don't think it would be a jerk move to not give anything to your ex. If however, you had children together then I think it would be jerky to not help out a little, just so that your children's lives were better.
 Inflated_ego
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 33
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:14:35 PM
That's all so complicated. Thank God my divorce was so simple and straight forward. Neither of us fought over anything.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 34
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:16:22 PM
My mother always said to kill your enemies with kindness...it drives them nuts. Pay the whole house off and thank her for putting up with you for all those years...the look on her face when you do that will be priceless and you will feel much lighter knowing you took the high road.

Hypothetically, though, I will be the one winning the lottery this week, so you can stop worrying about what you would do with the winnings.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 35
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/27/2012 9:26:31 PM

I've re-thought my post....here's my new thought

F*k it.....keep it all and move to Costa Rica...


I'd go with that.

Of course, it's all a moot point... I have the winning ticket here under my monitor.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 36
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:52:57 AM
Numerically trying to hit one combination in about one TRILLION possibilities, I guess you HAVE to be an optimist to play the lottery; but believing my Ex will pay off that house without any more financial snafus - well, the odds are almost as long... LOL

Good luck to all playing tonight. I hope you all match five numbers - and my ticket will have the sixth. ;)
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 37
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Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/28/2012 12:12:10 PM
Danimal,

You ID yourself on your profile as "Christian."So I paraphrase your question: "what would Jesus do?"

I sense a fair amount of bitterness in your posts that refer back to your ex. How 'bout thinking back further and try remembering what it was about her that encouraged your two to become a couple. Do you think in light of that thought, that history, were you to be blessed with such a windfall, that sharing a minuscule portion would only add to yours and hers joy in life. I can understand the bitterness - can you understand the redemption such an act would bring?

I agree with the other posters who also urged you to share your winnings with the ex.

TK
[Powerball: just a hair more than 1 in 175 million chance of winning the jackpot.
current jackpot: half a billion. that a lot of scratch!]
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 38
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/28/2012 2:25:52 PM

You ID yourself on your profile as "Christian."So I paraphrase your question: "what would Jesus do?"

Jesus wouldn't have any need (or want) to play the lottery. Period.


Powerball: just a hair more than 1 in 175 million chance of winning the jackpot.

Numerically it's a LOT higher than 1 on 175,000,000 - they use those odds because human beings have a knack of finding a way to win based on how many tickets purchased, not necessarily because of how many number combinations are out there.
------------

Sharing that obscenely large amount of cash - it's an easy decision to say 'Yes', but what if it's only a $100K winner? or $10K? Hmmm... I guess my 'bitterness' towards my Ex would be framed in a slightly less 'mean' tone?

I've never been one to like the idea of throwing money at a problem to make it go away. Having a large financial windfall like that would increase my charitable donations, for sure - but I prefer giving to organizations that help people learn how to do better for themselves, with little or no bureaucracy. Buying off the Ex completely is never going to help her learn how to be responsible for a 30 year mortgage, but buying off one of the debts allows her to manage the other one independently. Isn't that a decent thing?

I guess my view is pretty much summed up by PackageDeal;

It would be generous from the standpoint that she wouldn't need to worry about paying the second mortgage and could be on her way to owning the home free and clear by herself.

Me personally, probably paying both off would be a drop in the bucket and if you really wanted to be generous you could put both of you in a situation to move forward with your lives without any bills hanging overhead.

Legally and morally you are not really obligated to do anything. Paying off the mortgage would not be solely out of the kindness of your heart because it gets rid of a problem hanging over your head in the back of your mind by giving her the wiggle room to refinance the original loan. If someone expected anything they would be out of order and failing to appreciate the kindness in paying off the second mortgage would be tacky on the part of your ex.


I do loathe people that feel self-entitled, for whatever reason.
 Zamboni_Operator
Joined: 11/20/2012
Msg: 39
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 11/29/2012 4:46:41 PM
I fondly remember the news story a few years ago about how one gentleman solved his problem of joint ownership of a house with his ex. He literally physically cut the house in two. There was also a case like this in Cambodia in 2008 which made the news.
 Notricksters
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 40
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Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 12/2/2012 2:08:11 PM
Ok I should have read all the posts - but I only read your original post... You need to check with a few other attorneys to see how they would handle this situation - just don't rely on advice from one! Try it - it could help you.
 Love.Notes
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 41
Hypothetical - The Ex and Winning the Lottery
Posted: 12/3/2012 2:53:41 PM
If you want to be a jerk? Pay off only one.
If you want to be remembered as the sweetest guy on earth ? Pay off both.
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