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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do we see ourselves clearly???      Home login  
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 Jamesin2013
Joined: 9/13/2012
Msg: 44
Do we see ourselves clearly???Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
i'm going to go ahead and guess alot of how you perceive yourself is tied up in your upbringing,,if you had doting parents who constantly told you how amazing and wonderful you were,,,that you would then perceive yourself in that inflated way where strangers may not see you the same way your support structure does,,,,

it is the same thing that happens to so many Hollywood types,,,,,,,,if you have people constantly telling you how beautiful and wonderful you are,,,,you begin to buy into it,,,and thus your self worth is bound to go way up

and of course on the other end of the spectrum,,you have those of us who were never told we were all that special,,,it was not ingrained in us how precious and wonderful we are,,thus,,,we view ourselves probably LOWER than the average person may judge us to be,,,

so,,,,,spoiled people,,,indulged and catered to,,,,,higher view

ignored,neglected/abused.......lower view

jmo:)






So I am wondering about when you guys rate us women from 1-10....

do you adjust according to age?
If you rate us equally how would a 50 yr old rate above Most 35 yrs olds?
Do we all rate lower as we age if you go according to ratings?

I dont like to rate people. But I have heard lots of guys rating women.


yes,,age is a factor as it would be on any rating system,,,,,,as a matter of fact,,,i do not even think you can give a "10" to anyone over,,,well,,,,,to be fair,,,,,,40ish? after a while,,you start to head into "the wall" and that is when the number starts going down inherently......

course,,now all the "positrons" are going to come and tell me how blah blah blah that was
it's just my opinion....other guys may feel differently about it:)
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 45
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/3/2012 4:44:17 PM
Good thinking James....I agree with you.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 46
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Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/3/2012 4:56:54 PM
I am not one to go by only a 1-10 system.... character and lifestyle trump any outward looks to a large degree.....

A more fair system to me however and JUST outward appearance rating is that for every decade over 30 the ratee is assigned one bonus point for age

so a 30 something who is a 6 automatically gets a 7 rating....
and a 60 something who is a 5 is rated as a 9..

significant points are added/deducted for good/bad character and lifestyle

so in my system... a person like Anna Nicole Smith ends up being a 1 or a 2..... and a person with significant physical limitations/defects can get a big boost as well for character/ life choices/ intellect
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 47
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/3/2012 6:25:08 PM

yes,,age is a factor as it would be on any rating system,,,,,,as a matter of fact,,,i do not even think you can give a "10" to anyone over,,,well,,,,,to be fair,,,,,,40ish? after a while,,you start to head into "the wall" and that is when the number starts going down inherently......


Some of us "rate" people by their obvious show of intelligence. Some men on this forum can't seem to rise above a 1 or 2.
 Love.Notes
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 48
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/3/2012 6:40:45 PM
Abbeygirl58 I'd give you a 10! You look sexy, refreshing and forget whatever the magazine's are saying. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Men will see you as adorable.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 49
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/3/2012 6:44:03 PM
I don't see attraction in a linear absolute.
More like a combination of variables.

I try to flirt with women who have as pleasant a combination as I do.
Even though the particulars can be widely varied.
(if that makes sense.)
 Abbeygirl58
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 50
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/3/2012 7:05:17 PM
Love.Notes...I don't know you but I like you!!!!!
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 51
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Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/3/2012 8:03:40 PM

Some of us "rate" people by their obvious show of intelligence. Some men on this forum can't seem to rise above a 1 or 2


I resemble that remark ..but hey ..
My g/f ,,gives me an 8 :)
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 52
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/3/2012 8:58:27 PM
James at 50...
that is not a fair system now is it?

Gentleplus: Your suggested system is more fair. You know what you are talking about.

I dont see rating people with numbers for looks is even possible except for rating a model or photo. our personalities shine through and how we feel inside, imo, effects how we look from day to day. What standards are you rating from? Is this like a purebred dog show?
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 53
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Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/4/2012 4:19:37 AM
^^Why should that "system" be fair? I mean how can it be fair?
It based purely on looks. Not personality.
Someone who doesn't stand a chance to make it as a model would get low points for looks.
Get to know the person, and that person could get a 10 for personality.
So when someone sees him/herself as a high number he/she might be talking about the whole package, not so much as looks. But we can't see his/her wonderful personality in a picture. We need to get to know him/her.
And some people just not willing to do that, because of a picture.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 54
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/4/2012 6:58:26 AM

So when someone sees him/herself as a high number he/she might be talking about the whole package, not so much as looks. But we can't see his/her wonderful personality in a picture.


This is not true. Being someone that has worked with models of different ages I have to tell you that personality can and does come across in photographs. I've have had to hire women to look like mom and two kids, and she does that job and looks okay, then a few months later I needed a woman to look physical and attractive and the same woman shows me these photos that are wow, hot.

Personality and attitude and how you carry yourself come across in your looks, always. Take for instance my brother a while back started dating this cute girl in Venezuela. Women down there are on the average, gorgeous. Down there she was considered average, or a 5 or 6. Then she moves here to the states and she is considered exotic. Also my brother is very good at prepping her emotionally and helping her do things that make her look hot. Why? Because we a Latino men and we love our women to look hot. So her attitude changed and men responded to her, not as that average girl but a super hot girl. Nothing else had changed, but her attitude.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 55
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/4/2012 7:54:15 AM
^^^ I like that! Attitude makes the woman for sure! If her man thinks she's hot she usually feels hot.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 56
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Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/4/2012 8:07:48 AM
Outmind, now we are talking ! it is the ATTITUDE, and what that woman have in mind at the spur of the moment.. Rating herself by just looking at the mirror is a false rating of herself. People would see her as a pompous azz.

If a woman think she is beautiful inside and out, she'll be rated 10 plus by the people.


Sexy is the word for that kind of woman.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 57
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/4/2012 7:55:14 PM

..it goes on to say that using the 1-10 scale most people see themselves as 1 to 2 points higher than they actually are....yikes!!! I've always thought of myself as a "7" which means most men may see me as a 5 or 6...


It appears that both this article and you are assuming that there is one universal 1-10 scale that everyone is using, which is virtually impossible, since different people have different ideas about what makes someone else physically attractive to them. While you might get a decent enough agreement at the extremes of the scale, the "10"s and the "1"'s, there are too many individual variables to find total agreement even there, let alone all the other numbers.
For example, a man who finds BBW's more attractive than "athletic" bodied women would rate women differently on a 1-10 scale than a man with the opposite preference.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 58
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Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/5/2012 4:56:40 AM
Outmind with all do respect, I understand that someone can have a look, they can pull off different personality.
What I was saying the average person can just look into the camera, and you can't tell if she is nice or not.
And "faking" attitude is..um...faking it. Just my oponien.
 sigungq
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 59
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/5/2012 5:57:00 PM

most people see themselves as 1 to 2 points higher than they actually are....yikes!!!


HOLY CRAP!!!! You mean I'm a -2???????????????

:-O
 Lowtones84
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 60
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/5/2012 8:42:27 PM
I must not see myself clearly, I thought I was a decent guy and yet I've been treated like crap for years. Go figure. Huzzah!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 61
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/5/2012 9:31:17 PM
Ehh..it's rare I post to an OP that starts, I read an article..........and I'm a writer...go figure.

I haven't sold a fluff piece to some gloss hack mag...but it's a tough economy....haha.

I say that to make the point that that IS why most articles are written.

Okay so to respond to the topic, any individual can potentially have the benefit, it they're open to knowing how others view them, an outer perspective. It can take balls, but knowing that, and prioritizing it can be of potential benefit to personal growth. The problem is that, when someone opens themselves up to an HONEST appraisal with no repercussions if the information given isn't all that flattering.

If you think about it, there is no way anyone can know how others perceive them. I learned that long ago, however it is I may think that I may appear or be perceived by others, I can never have the benefit of being them and interacting with me. Not possible, never will or can be.

So...the bottom line is how willing one may be to know and accept and what you do with the feedback. If you're so set on this is how I am and get feedback which isn't affirming to your own opinion of yourself, then what? Do you give it value or just discard it? Personally, I've been grateful and experienced huge personal growth which I wouldn't have otherwise. That said, I do prioritize by the source. I'm grateful, my children have made a better person, they've amazed me at their insight. I've fostered the relationship to where they can say what they think and not have any negative repercussions from speaking their mind.

It can be an exercise in personal growth, but the input should come from those who are in your closest cirlce, those who are involved in your life.

Huh...maybe I should write an article...I just don't know who would buy it. Unvarnished truth and gutwrenching honesty doesn't sell. C'mon now, people don't buy magazines to read articles to actually learn something. Articles are fluff to have something to read when you get tired of flipping through the ads.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 62
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/5/2012 9:53:00 PM
I think putting a person on a scale factor is so shallow. I would say that article is not creditable.
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