Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Open relationship question.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 22
Open relationship question.Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
is it really even a relationship if its open? Are you looking for someone better? Do you just get bored easy? I do not understand the concept. must be a sex thing but I do not know
 Love.Notes
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 23
Open relationship question.
Posted: 12/4/2012 3:38:47 PM
GJBrown MSG 28. It's a personal choice thing.

As long as the other person your with also knows you have an open relationship then it's ok. I'm assuming she does. I would think the best way it to tell the "new prospect" is right away by saying something like this. " I am in an open relationship is that going to be a problem for you?" She or he may want to meet your other half just to be sure you're telling the truth otherwise people will tend to believe you're hiding something.

The best way is to be honest with the new person and allow them to receive the information however they wish and go from there. They are either open to it or not.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 24
Open relationship question.
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:41:26 PM

yepp there yah go.. let's play predator and prey.. scope out people with low self esteem .. use the woman,.., yeah that's right.. does this not "sound" psychotic?

Why would you assume people who do this have low self esteem, or there is an element of 'predator and prey'?
 Zamboni_Operator
Joined: 11/20/2012
Msg: 25
Open relationship question.
Posted: 12/4/2012 7:26:52 PM
The delusion of unemotional relationships is self centered.. self delusional and narcissistic...


supplygoodguy, who says the OP's primary relationship is "unemotional"?! You need to familiarize yourself with an increasing trend: polyamory - loving more than one partner at a time, being in two or more romantic relationships at a time with full knowledge of everyone involved. In fact, let's say it's a man named Dan & a woman named Sheila, & Dan has another woman named Tammy that he's in love with, sometimes the two women will become amorous with each other too. Or that could apply to two men in a triad as well...

It's different from "swinging", which is just about the sex.

Now I don't partake of this, nor could I. It's just not me. To me it's like those "free love" people from the sixties, & I could never understand how they do it, & many of them still do. And now it's a whole new younger generation that's doing this polyamory thing.

But having said that, I would highly recommend YOU try it. I think you need to loosen up, from seeing the tone of many of your comments on different forums, & a bit of polyamory would probably be just what the doctor recommends for you...
 GuelphBossman
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 26
Open relationship question.
Posted: 12/4/2012 8:27:37 PM
Everyone is different. I think the majority of people (especially in these forums) forget that.

Someone says they are in an open relationship and quite a few people give them sh*t for it. Yet if someone got upset at them for something they do, they would be all up in arms.

Is it the norm? No. However, I've seen it work. It's not for everybody. Maybe more couples should try it considering the state of some marriages these days.

As for the OP, you have to be honest on your profile. You wouldn't want someone to be dishonest to you, would you? Many people, even if they think your situation is fine, won't bother messaging you or returning messages you send out. However, you never know how many other people on here are in a similar situation as yourself. So the only way to find these people is to have that info right in your profile so everyone can see.

Good luck on here. It's a minefield sometimes.
 hplazerjet
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 27
Open relationship question.
Posted: 12/4/2012 8:47:02 PM
You can't break the ice about being in an open relationship without seeming like a weirdo or a creep.
 juliettes7
Joined: 11/4/2012
Msg: 28
Open relationship question.
Posted: 12/5/2012 3:40:34 PM
Go to poly events, gatherings, etc. Don't try to convert monogamous types. It pisses them off. Stick with your own kind.
 Zamboni_Operator
Joined: 11/20/2012
Msg: 29
Open relationship question.
Posted: 12/5/2012 4:31:28 PM

Why do so many people assume that people in an open relationship are even less likely to take precautions with sex than the single people do? It's like assuming that because a person has such an arrangement with their spouse/partner that they are somehow too stupid to protect themselves.


SSC_SAF, vailid point you made to that person commenting, but don't forget that the more partners, the higher the chances of one of them having some sort of STI. And condoms don't fully protect you from herpes, genital warts, & possibly some other sexually transmitted surprises.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 30
Open relationship question.
Posted: 2/28/2017 9:04:07 AM
Not drooling while you speak would be a good start
 jcr197782
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 31
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/1/2017 5:59:30 PM
make sure it comes up sooner rather than later. nothing worse than an okay date gone bad b/c a major detail like that was left out.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 32
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/3/2017 10:50:43 AM

I'm in an open relationship and my question is this; when you meet someone new, what is a good way to break the ice so to speak, and let them know about your situation without sounding like a weirdo or a creep?


- but it is weird and creepy.
 therainman2
Joined: 3/4/2017
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/9/2017 8:49:33 PM
Just make sure it is known on all dating sites you are a part of. While many women are not a fan, there are some out there who don't mind. Heck some even enjoy it because it gives them a rush of "getting caught" by the other woman. Weird, but it is a thing lol
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/24/2017 11:23:02 AM
The strange thing is that it is easier to find someone who will accept you and date you if they think you are cheating, than if you are honestly in an open relationship. The one big problem with this is that they may be cheating, and I'd rather not get involved in that case. Best just to say you are married and leave it at that, unless they ask, or unless you think that telling them the full story will produce a more favorable response - and find out their situation before going forward, to hopefully avoid a cheater.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 35
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/24/2017 4:59:47 PM
bluetreefrog- Try looking into sites for swingers.
There are also clubs in some cities for this kind of thing.
There's no way you aren't going to get a "say WHAT?!" or an "ewe" type reaction from a lot of people who aren't into it.
I'm a live and live type person and I'm not the only one, so all you would get from me would be "No thanks."
I don't recommend trying your luck with people you don't know when you have NO idea how they will react, that could go way wrong, quickly.
As I said, there are people into the same thing, so find THEM, then you don't have to ask.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 36
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/24/2017 5:09:13 PM
Bluetreefrog


It's been 4 years since you started this thread and now you are gone
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 37
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/24/2017 5:33:29 PM
Butterchickenchuck- Dang it!
I've gotten better at checking the age of a thread, but obviously not good enough. :D
Oh,well.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 38
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/24/2017 5:39:57 PM
Forumslady

I think everyone has overlooked the OP being gone at least once - it's these dang people who keep reviving threads from the dead !















In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 39
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/24/2017 9:39:06 PM
Butterchickenchuck- "it's these dang people who keep reviving threads from the dead"
My opinion, I think it's the (supposedly) non existent mods who are "bumping" old threads.
If there aren't mods, why do people keep getting banned??
It seems to me, that when forum activity is slow, next thing you know, all of a sudden, you see old threads again.
Coincidence?? I'm not so sure.
(please, Invisible moderators, don't ban me, I'll behave, I swear)
 Perspektiv
Joined: 2/11/2017
Msg: 40
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/25/2017 5:21:21 AM
To me, this should be displayed in your relationship status, as you're clearly not single.

It should also be displayed on your profile, to avoid wasting other people's time.

If I find this out on a date--the date is over (personally).

I've been in that situation once, and turns out she was cheating, and hoping to play the "open relationship" card.
 Mz_Informed
Joined: 11/15/2016
Msg: 41
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/25/2017 5:50:04 AM

My opinion, I think it's the (supposedly) non existent mods who are "bumping" old threads.


Nah. If you check the postings and the dates, it's pretty easy to see who bumps a thread.

Like this one. See message 33.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Open relationship question.
Posted: 3/25/2017 5:56:07 PM

I mean, if it's sex for the sake of sex, they don't need to know right away; what does it matter anyway?

Most people would like to know if they are****blocking, cross-cocking, or cuckolding someone else, and the potention for that OTHER to come after them with murderous intent.

STATE IT IN YOUR PROFILE so you don't have to bring it up - the person contacting you will bring it up.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Open relationship question.