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Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 46
Telling the truthPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
what is she 12? move on You dont need that drama!
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 47
Telling the truth
Posted: 12/12/2012 10:40:50 PM
Her standards are high, keep yours high too, unless you were seduced ,and dragged into it,screaming blue murder. Heh, the likely hood of that happening is remote and indiscribable.
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 48
Telling the truth
Posted: 12/12/2012 10:44:50 PM
OP, it's an overreaction; she hates the girl therefore rules out if you're loyal you would allow no history with the girl she hates.

The best policy is pretend you're never getting any; everyone will be happy.
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 49
Telling the truth
Posted: 12/14/2012 2:59:00 AM
I think you did the right thing. If you had betrayed her by being with someone else while with her that is different. She sounds very immature.
We all have a past, and she should accept that and feel grateful you are such a good guy to tell her.
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 50
Telling the truth
Posted: 12/14/2012 9:59:34 AM
If anyone can't understand that the past is the past and NO one can change the past, then it's time to move on. I have a feeling she's going to continue holding this over your head everyday. Not worth the exhaustion it's going to cause you walking on all the egg shells around her 24/7. :)
Joined: 10/20/2012
Msg: 51
Telling the truth
Posted: 12/15/2012 6:11:34 AM
Truth (about past conquests) and the start of a new relationship don't mix! It is a very dangerous situation and if you didn't know before ......You know now! It's not the end of the world or anything but you opened the doors to the potential (even if it's not the case) of you and "That Girl" hooking up again if the situation was right which could be a potential (even if it's not the case) reason for your "Now Girl" not to give you the trust needed to further your "Now Relationship". As you can see your assumption of her handling the truth only created the assumption of potential future problems with "That Girl"(Even if that's not the case)!

As far as her getting over it, I believe she can get past it but I can promise that she will never ever forget it. Every female friend that you have, unless you met them together, will be examined with a fine toothed comb.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 52
Telling the truth
Posted: 12/16/2012 3:58:51 PM
Why did you tell her that? Why? No good can ever come from confessing something that happened before you were with your g/f, especially with a rivilary like between these two. Really, it should have been common sense for you to keep this to yourself. It wasn't necessary, & since they don't like each other or run in the same social circles, she probably would have never found out about your fling with her.
You are in the wrong here, your g/f has every right to feel the way that she does. It was a bad, stupid & insensitive move on your part to bring it up. It's like you rubbed her face into it. Completely unecessary.
All you can do is chalk this up as a lesson, which is next time, keep your mouth shut & leave well enough alone. And as far as your g/f's reaction, she has every right to feel that way. If you had kept your fling to yourself, she would still be your g/f. If she can't even look at you, I'm sure you're history.
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 53
Telling the truth
Posted: 12/16/2012 9:29:50 PM
hawshark -- how does she know this gal, though? You shouldn't keep that gal in your life at all when you start seeing a girl, and you most certainly should not acknowledge her if the girl you're seeing is enemies with her.

If you're not in contact with girl #1, then yes, your new GF over-reacted. You can console her and tell her that it was before you and she even really knew each other, and it's not like girl #1 is an ex or anything.

And tell her what are you supposed to do -- have her find out if possibly she and that gal get into a b!tching match and that gal spits it out? That would probably end the relationship and you couldn't risk that. You'd be worse for not saying anything. And also -- what if there was some guy you've hooked up with before, before we met? And come to find out, at the bar we like to kick back in, I really dislike the guy? Would that make you a bad person for having done that?

In the end though, whether to ever tell or not to tell -- depends on the situation. If it's just a girl she DOESN'T know and is never really around -- no, don't say anything. No need to. If it's a girl she knows OR is around somewhat with angst, then yeah -- you don't have to say you SLEPT with her, but you can say you and she hung out a few times before... and if she asks if you "did her", you can say that it's silly/rude to get into how many "bases" you may or may not have crossed -- and that it'd be just as silly/rude for you to ask about the last guy she ever hung out with.
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