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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What's so wrong with cheating, really?      Home login  
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 jenn8131
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 51
What's so wrong with cheating, really?Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Cheating is so wrong because all the parties do not have all the information that they need to protect themselves. If a man wants to be a "player" then he should inform his partners so that they know to take protection whether making sure they use protection while sex or send that man on his way. You think its fair that a man/woman gives their partner an std because they were cheating and the other person thought they were in a committed relationship so they weren't using protection when they were together?

If you want to be a "stud" and get as much action as you can don't "pretend" to be in a relationship with someone.... because that person deserves honesty and respect. Cheating is cruel and selfish and has major consequences some worse than others.
 oskiesmom
Joined: 4/27/2012
Msg: 52
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What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 4:22:38 PM
There are a lot of things wrong with cheating. STD's, jealously, lies, hurt, pain. Or, step in my shoes and have some psychotic woman harass you for months because "her man" has been talking to you. Yeah, it's a lot of fun sleeping with a loaded gun next to your head because some guy lied about having a girlfriend.

There are people who are into "open relationships" so if you want that kind of thing, find like-minded people and WEAR A CONDOM!

For everyone's sakes, be open about it, but of course, you won't get much action...The main thing is that you do not have the right to risk someone else's health and happiness to satisfy your sexual appetite.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 53
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What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 4:22:59 PM
For thousands of years this has been an issue with many people. Henry VIII would be giving you a thumb up, and many others would agree with you. The ancient Romans believed like you do….

For most people sex and love go hand- n- hand. For others like you sex is purely for the pleasure it gives…

You see though sex is like drugs, bad food, etc. Everything in moderation is considered a healthy attitude and lifestyle. My point is we all can act like animals without thinking of the other animals in the kingdom. The buck in the forest doesn’t care about the other bucks when the doe is nearby….

But you’re not a buck, nor are you a beast of pry. You are a human being.

My advice to you is considering the possibility that you may be a sex addict? Not saying you are…..

You should search your soul…. Maybe go on a spiritual sabbatical… learn something about other people and become a decent human being that has something wonderful to offer this world besides your penis, lying and cheating.

Jan
 Makeyafamos
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 54
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 4:26:24 PM

Some people prefer to remain ignorant or to ignore a partners sexual indiscretions. It was a very common practice amongst women prior to the sexual revolution. For generations women looked the other way in order to maintain their social status. As long as you are both comfortable with the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy then no one gets hurt.


Ahhh, a voice of reason. Yes, exactly. Take notes people.
 OKgirl529
Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 55
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 4:28:27 PM
For the love of all that's holy, please never reproduce.
 Makeyafamos
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 56
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 4:29:06 PM

It sounds like you're a sneaky f&ck.


lol, yes I am.


If you want to be a player, why not just be a player? I don't understand why you have to cradle this other life when you really just want to f&ck like it's a sport.


Well I did say the BEST ladies are the one's that want commitment. And yes I do enjoy the sport of f&cking immensely.


You are preserving the lie, but you are lying to yourself.


Not really, I know exactly where I stand.
 Perspektiv
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 57
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 4:34:44 PM
I guess what I'm really getting at is, why do we (meaning human beings) have this incessant need to know everything and try to actively seek out if someone is cheating or not. Why not just be ignorant and happy?


Humans in general, typically form healthy relationships, with a strong foundation of trust. In lying, you've basically crushed the foundation of your relationship, and are hoping they never find out, since your foundation is just one chip away from crumbling, by doing so.

Why not just seek an open relationship? You're still having your cake, but at least are doing it in a respectful manner.

Why lie, and risk your partner's health, through selfishly potentially contracting STD's, without their knowledge of it?
Shouldn't they have the right to know you're sleeping around?

If you think not, then you have a lot to learn about respect.

Lets say I sold you a car, with brakes with loose lines that are bound to snap, knowingly.

You get in a nasty crash that almost kills you the next day. How you'd feel finding out, is the exact thing you're putting every woman you date, and lie to.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 58
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What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 4:50:39 PM
OP: I find this thread intriguing, not the cheating part - we've seen that on the forum often enough. It's the degree to which you lack any emotional intelligence . It's like this whole process is an intellectual cat and mouse game for you. I've seen this before. Usually in men and women, when they've had experiences in their early life where their feelings were invalidated and ignored they learn to deactivate their feelings and overly compensate in cognitive 'rationalizations'. You're young OP. This won't last. You will get hurt somewhere down the line and then all of this will become perfectly clear.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 59
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 4:51:58 PM

Not really, I know exactly where I stand.


Actually, you don't know. Remember??? You don't care to know. What you are doing is "pretending" to know, which, in turn makes you, a pretender. Oblivious to the world. It's not a bad way to live, for some. You have chosen your way, so go forth and reap you rewards!!!! (they are out there waiting)
 Makeyafamos
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 60
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 4:59:37 PM
Ok people. I would like to start off by saying thank you for the responses. Most have at least been civil. Although I’ve been accused of being a “kid”, having no driver’s license, and being a criminal, lol. Oh and let’s not forget about an STD spreader.

So I’m now going to change my ways and be a faithful and devoted partner.

. .. . . hahaha yeah right?

Hey don’t take it so serious people, this is a discussion. I’ve appreciated reading some very well presented and thought out responses, which are quite logical. And I know what I’m doing is wrong from this societal perspective. And I mean this by – American 2012 standards. I feel I have a mentality from some bygone historical era that doesn’t exist anymore. So be it.

I don’t feel bad about what I do and I’m sure that makes me a scumbag to a lot of you. Probably for personal reasons seeing as how none of you know me. At the end of the day though, it’s my life and I’m going to do what I want to do. I did say I want to have my cake and eat it too. So I have no problem being branded Selfish. I am.

But I challenge a lot of you to look in the mirror yourself. I see a lot of point the finger mentality here. As if none of you have ever “lied,” “cheated (in any fashion),” “stole,” or hurt someone. Judge not lest ye be judged!

It’s just a post.
 toronto_gal2012
Joined: 10/26/2012
Msg: 61
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:02:30 PM
from post #48 believe in karma. You keep doing what ever you want. There will be a day, your gonna find a women, fall deeply in love, and she will cheat on you. Just remember this. When it happen's.


Ever thought of going on the Springer or Maury show,
oh wait, you can't or they would know.
I honeslty don't believe you that it would not bother you. I think this is your way of reaching out and asking for help.
Maybe you did find out that someone you cared about has cheated on you in the past, and this is your way of lashing out.

and of the women you have been with in the past, what if she happens to read this. have you ever thought of that
or are the women you are meeting not on pof.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 62
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:09:07 PM
~~~~
I guess what I'm really getting at is, why do we (meaning human beings) have this incessant need to know everything and try to actively seek out if someone is cheating or not. Why not just be ignorant and happy?
~~~
Because you can bring something nasty home to me..
Because trust is the biggest part of a relationship and without if you have nothing
Because to truly love someone you have to know all the little things about them that maybe even their parents don't know.
Because ignorance is not bliss, despite the popular saying.
Because it's lying and despite your dismissal of it, it's one of the biggest reason to lose trust


Also.. how does lying not affect the relationship?
How does choosing to spend your free time with some floosly rather then your woman not affect your relationship?
How does putting your partner at risk by engaging in risky behavior with someone else no affect the relationship?

If a tree fall in the forest.. it still makes noise and when you wander down that trial you see that if fell over..

Also.. this is not back in the day when women looked the other way.. well mostly anyway.. Back in those times women who were divorced were unheard of.. put a black mark on women.. not the men. Women had to look the other way to preserve like.. not just social status. Where does a rejected woman go back then??
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 63
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What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:09:29 PM
Apparently you have never heard of the word respect.
Cheating, whether they know you're doing it or not is disrespectful.
Do you respect yourself? Doesn't sound like it.
Have you heard of loyalty? If you have I guess you don't value it.

Bottom line is you have very little regard for others. Go ahead and live your life that way, but I don't believe for one second you feel good about yourself. Are you proud of your actions?

Someone else threw out the word sociopath - which is the only explanation for your thought process.
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 64
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:11:13 PM
You conveniently cherry pick and answer only the questions that support your case OP.

You still haven't answered this: Would you still feel indifferent if you found out your GF was having sex with other men behind your back?

If you answer is "Yes, you would still be indifferent about it", then why should your GF even need to lie to you about her cheating? .... Why not just be content knowing the fact that she is boinking other guys as well? .......

The only reason you say "Ignorance is bliss" is because of the fact that you would, indeed feel hurt, betrayed, and disrespected IF YOU FOUND OUT.


I suggest you look into being polyamorous relationship rather than using the "Ignorance is bliss" approach to excuse your promiscuity in a supposed monogamous relationship. I personally would not partake in a polyamorous relationship but neither do I see anything wrong with it because in those types of relationships at least everyone involved is open about having multiple partners and they are okay with it. They don't need to make up lies or fake out to their partners about sleeping with other ppl.
 Jamesin2013
Joined: 9/13/2012
Msg: 65
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:13:46 PM
i just started a fan club for this kid on Twitter and a Facebook page,,,,,,,because as the great military man.. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman,,, in Full Metal Jacket once said

"Private Joker may be silly and ignorant,,but he's got guts,,and guts is enough!(yes,,i did that from memory!@,,i'm a man aren't i!)

and you my friend ,,have guts,,,enjoy your fan club

they will be having a dating night where only people in relationships are invited! woot!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 66
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What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:17:28 PM
"I subscribe to the ignorance is bliss theory" Trust me, OP, that is OH SOOO obvious.......really!

It's also obvious you don't take sex or women very seriously, but you're young and slow on the uptake (a PC way to say dumb). It you're just going to bang whatever indiscriminate female you can, the only point of having someone would be to score when you can't find anything else. I know a lot of males like you who are now MY age, so here's how that scenario ends up.

Now you're 52 years old......You come home from your job (oops, at 25 years it's now your career) at the quickie lube shop, loosen your pants so your beer gut can flop out. As you scratch yourself in places noone wants to know about you pull out a frozen dinner and an Old Milwaukee. As you plop in your recliner and flip on sports, your chihuahua is nipping at your sweety heels and in between loud belches you wonder why you're all alone.

There are hundreds, probably thousands of guys my age who were just like you, so this is where you're headed when you become middle aged. It'll be here faster than you can imagine and is the reason I steer clear of anyone over 45 or son that's never been married......it's for a GOOD reason!
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 67
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:18:30 PM
I think having the 'cheat' option implies that said cheater is in a committed relationship no?
The difference is exactly that, the committment. Why be in a committed relationship at all if you want to mess around? It's deceptive and un-necessary.
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 68
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:24:51 PM
^^^Cheezy: His prior posts deludingly state that he's in a relationship because that what the BEST women want.
So,,, not only is he's screwing everything that isn't bolted down ( and maybe that too) behind her back, he's lying to her again by allowing her to think that they have a committed relationship.

In actuality, they can't be the best women since they must feel that he's not really there emotionally, mentally or even physically for them cuz how can he be satisfying her if he may be off skirting around? js
 Makeyafamos
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 69
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:24:59 PM

You still haven't answered this: Would you still feel indifferent if you found out your GF was having sex with other men behind your back?

If you answer is "Yes, you would still be indifferent about it", then why should your GF even need to lie to you about her cheating? .... Why not just be content knowing the fact that she is boinking other guys as well? .......

The only reason you say "Ignorance is bliss" is because of the fact that you would, indeed feel hurt, betrayed, and disrespected IF YOU FOUND OUT.


Hey sorry I missed the question, in fairness there are a lot directed at me, so it wasn’t cherry picking.

Ok here we go – if I found out about my girlfriend doing what I do, I’d be upset and hurt, just like most people. I’d probably leave her.

Now that being said, it’s not going to affect me in my next situation. Because, I’m going to do what I want to do and whatever happened with her (the old cheating girlfriend) is in the past. It will have no bearing on the new relationship.

So I guess that means I still would be indifferent. Were you expecting (as others have postulated as well) that once someone cheats on me – then I’m going to see the light? And decide that I need to not cheat?

Come on. When will all of you realize that your actions will not deter someone from cheating on you if that’s what they want to do. So many women and men have been baffled and confused about WHY someone cheated on them, because their so perfect and the good wife or husband. Hey, this is my point – it doesn’t matter. People do what they want to do regardless.

And no I can't be content with knowing she is doing other guys, I don't want that. I don't want to know. I've stated this several times.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 70
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:26:20 PM
you come home from your job at the quickie lube shop, loosen your pants so your beer gut can flop out. As you scratch yourself in places noone wants to know about you pull out a frozen dinner and an Old Milwaukee. As you plop in your recliner and flip on sports, your chihuahua is nipping at your sweety heels and in between loud belches you wonder why you're all alone.

At least he can look forward to having cable and a sweety that at least his dog likes, or maybe just her wedgie pumps...

Cmon, he's just a teenager and has so much to learn about life, and his local STD clinics schedule of weekly pro bono appointments...

Dang, yall just about made me burn ma spaghetti TV dinner when my stomach is rumblin and my cat is whining for his dinner also.. The live creative fiction in this thread by OP and some other more literate writers makes for good entertainment rather than watching the gloomy World news..
 Makeyafamos
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 71
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:27:03 PM

Now you're 52 years old......You come home from your job (oops, at 25 years it's now your career) at the quickie lube shop, loosen your pants so your beer gut can flop out. As you scratch yourself in places noone wants to know about you pull out a frozen dinner and an Old Milwaukee. As you plop in your recliner and flip on sports, your chihuahua is nipping at your sweety heels and in between loud belches you wonder why you're all alone.


hahahaha sounds like you WISH this life for me? What did I do to you? Come on. Lol.

Would NEVER happen by the way. I'm doing quite well both personally and professionally.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 72
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:30:20 PM

But I challenge a lot of you to look in the mirror yourself. I see a lot of point the finger mentality here. As if none of you have ever “lied,” “cheated (in any fashion),” “stole,” or hurt someone. Judge not lest ye be judged!


For the sake of argument, I am going to follow this point.

We have to give the OP some credit. We may think of him as a lier, cheater, dishonest, sociopath, and all this things, yet, I read somewhere that about 70% of people in general have cheated on a partner at one time or another. That is huge. The other factor is that look at these online sites, what is the first thing that women said: No cheaters, liars, players, still married blah, blah, blah. So it's very, very common. Yet the liars and cheaters do not speak up, they still lurk on the shadows. Another little fact is that human genitalia has more similarity to the chimpanzee, who are very promiscuous and have large testis, than that of the Gorilla, who have small testis and while they do not cheat, they have harems. Well, at least this applies to the females. So biologically humans are by nature very promiscuous.

So if anything, our OP is just one of the large majority that constitutes politicians, movie starts, high ranking generals, well respected journalist, let's not forget musicians, football players, athletes, priest, nuns, pastors, plumbers, milk men, doctors, lawyers, junkies, robber, cops, that have cheated. So more than a sociopath the OP is the norm, living and fornicating and allowing small bacteria and viruses to find new host and adhering to a social darwinism that is his entitled right.

So then the bigger question is, why do others chose not to cheat. Why is the social fabric of society, and most religions out there condone such practice?

I think we have found that what is called serial monogamy to be the best because it brings the highest level of fairness to each partner. By wealth, looks, power a man or woman can find a harem of people to sleep with them, knowingly or not knowingling (thus cheating), yet for the average person, that does not want to be in the hunt all the time, that want to be loved, and love and love and be compassionate towards some social principles that we have created ARE indeed important. And at the center of all that is trust.

I feel sad for the OP, because right now he basks in his bravado. He is on top. But life becomes a self fulfilling prophesy to which everything he has done into the women he has been with, will be done into him.

We hope that he gets lucky and some girl breaks his heart and be done with it, but more than likely is going to be that some b it ch it going to give him one of those STD to which there are no good cures and you're marked for life.
 Makeyafamos
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 73
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:30:54 PM

n actuality, they can't be the best women since they must feel that he's not really there emotionally, mentally or even physically for them cuz how can he be satisfying her if he may be off skirting around?


lol, no complaints. I do quite well thank you.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 74
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What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:33:57 PM
"hahahaha sounds like you WISH this life for me?"

Well I did embellish a litte (hey I'm a writer!) but I have no dog in this fight which means I couldn't care less. I'm just telling you that's how these guys all end up, I've met a few of them and they all blather on about what studs they were when they were younger....yawn yawn and WISH they'd kept their pecker more private and actually experienced a relationship. All of them legends in their own mind, which I suspect you may be. I think there's a few women in CA laughing behind your back. I'm just giving you the unvarnished truth, with a little creative license.......a liked the chihauhau myself, you have to admit it was a nice touch!
 Makeyafamos
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 75
What's so wrong with cheating, really?
Posted: 12/4/2012 5:34:52 PM

I feel sad for the OP, because right now he basks in his bravado. He is on top. But life becomes a self fulfilling prophesy to which everything he has done into the women he has been with, will be done into him.

We hope that he gets lucky and some girl breaks his heart and be done with it, but more than likely is going to be that some b it ch it going to give him one of those STD to which there are no good cures and you're marked for life.


I think you presented a very eloquent and well thought out post until you got to this point. Once again, why do people feel the need to attack me. This is an open dialogue of varying opinions, last time I checked an opinion was neither right not wrong. It's a perspective.

Now you want to condemn me to possible death by STD because of a post, come on really? Why is that necessary?
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