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 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 32
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some vice :( Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

I say we go over to Walts and have a round of whiskey!


I'm in - though I'll skip the Whiskey. Getting over stomach flu so not sure I can face that, but the company would be appreciated.

OP - If I ignore all the red flags from your borrowed dog, your vast array of professions and posting history, and took your story at face value...

I rarely drink now. Not that I have an issue with drinking but being the only adult in the house, I'm aware that I might get that call in the night that I need to drive somewhere and wouldn't risk doing that if I'd had a drink so it makes more sense not to. That said, I was fairly wild in my teens and early 20's and would often go out partying.

I can honestly say, even when drunk and not in control of my actions, I could always remember the incidents of the night and never accidentally slept with anyone. i.e. I don't believe that someone just because they were drunk, would do something they didn't want to do anyway. The lack of remembering is a complete lie, in my opinion. It's an excuse for not being responsible for her actions. Likewise, she didn't even confess afterwards, until you had found out from another source.

If she really cared for you and was invested in your relationship, no one would have gotten her naked regardless of how drunk she was. Likewise, once she was told in the morning what happened, if she had any care towards you, she would have been the one to own up and ensure that the relevant tests happened before being intimate with you again for your well being.

Other things don't add up either which you have to consider too. None of my friends would have left me drunk in the company of a male friend. It just isn't how female friends watch out for one another.

She slept with him because she wanted to. She didn't own up because she's a coward and even now, she's not taking responsibility for her actions. She remembers what happened but isn't willing to face your questions and so has a cover story which she thinks lets her off the hook for that.

If that's the sort of person you want to tie yourself too, good luck. This will happen again, but next time, she'll have a better story or pick someone who isn't going to fill you in on the real events.
 Desade99
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 33
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/8/2012 8:31:52 AM
Follow your instincts and your heart. Just keep in mind, once a cheater always a cheater, it's a bad habit and hard to break. If you do take her back, don't start asking a lot of questions. We men tend to want to know all the details, trust me, no you don't. If you take her back, then drop it, both of ya'll go to therapy get some marriage counseling.
 RERE1026
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 34
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/8/2012 9:58:33 AM
Hmmmmmm........doctor, lawyer, injun chief? Cheers!
 SingleInArlington
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 35
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some vice :(
Posted: 12/8/2012 12:27:28 PM

I say we go over to Walts and have a round of whiskey


+2

Another good idea from "flaneur001"
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 36
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some vice :(
Posted: 12/9/2012 12:28:19 AM

I say we go over to Walts and have a round of whiskey


Count *me* in,too!
But,i'll have a nice sav blanc or a glass of champas....hic.
Cheers
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 37
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/9/2012 6:00:15 AM
The booze is her excuse.
Look, I drink on occassion (not very often), but in my younger days I did. I've gotten knock down, fallen down, slobbering, passing out on the bathroom floor drunk before, but I remember it ALL. For me, I don't buy her story about not remembering it.
If she slept with him while she was drunk, either...
- the booze helped her to get the courage to do what she wanted to do anyway.
- the booze made her not give a rats a$$ about your feeling.
Neither one is good for you.

I'd personally be done with her if I was you.
Look at YOU my friend.....studying for a law examine, very impressive. Get that law degree!!!! Just think about the ladies that will be after you once you become "bewithjamin ESQUIRE!!!!" Seriously, dump the BBB (Booze Blaming Bitach).
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 38
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/9/2012 6:05:52 AM
Yea...what the others said....I see you have a knack for story telling...lol
 Bella_RF
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 39
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/9/2012 9:38:11 AM
I don't think she intentionally meant for the sex to happen with the friend particularly if she hadn't slept with him in the 3 years she's known him. It most likely was the amount of alcohol that played a huge role as she claims that she didn't remember.

Also, just a thought...could it also be that this so-called friend of hers that wanted this to happen because he's secretly got more for her than she for him. What a good way to split you two up.

Personally your depth of love is the biggest factor in this mess. Forgiveness is key in any relationship. If you love her like you say you do...and she's truly sorry and will prove to you over time that you can trust her again why can't you give her the chance to prove it and learn from her mistake?

I was with a man who tried to cheat on me but the long and short of it was after three months of hell between us, he finally fessed up to what he did, explained to me why it happened and vowed to spend the rest of our lives together proving to me that it would never happen again. I forgave him because he was honest with me and I loved him. We spent the next 14 years together and yes he did prove to me I could trust him completely and my love grew stronger for him over time.

Think about what you could lose in what you loved about her. Maybe this is a time for growth for you too.
 MrOogam
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 40
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/9/2012 12:39:57 PM
Drunkeness is never an excuse, especially if one has drank enough to black out, or have memory loss. Hardly happens to a person that rarely gets drunk, they usually get sick & barf long before blacking out. Also she may have been slipped a ruffie that knocked her out. Young is as young does, life & the University of Hard Knocks is a tough teacher. The best advice I can give is to make decisions that do not put yourself in positions of vulnerability....Forgiveness s a great virtue... but a hard path to walk....
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 41
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/9/2012 2:03:16 PM
Read your profile AND your forums history. You deserve an Oscar, enough said.
 AxeMurderer75
Joined: 6/6/2012
Msg: 42
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/9/2012 4:10:41 PM
If original post is true, run like hell. GF will tell you all sorts of stuff to make you believe whatever she wants you to. At the end of the day, it WILL happen again.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 43
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/9/2012 8:22:41 PM
His picture rang a bell for me too... I remember thinking what a liar this kid was and he continues to prove it.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 44
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/10/2012 7:47:17 AM

She came over tonight and we took the dog for a walk. I looked at her phone as we had to call her mum about dinner and i saw a message pop up from the guy friend. After reading the messages , Lou was in floods of tears and i called the guy. He told me they were both drunk that night and they slept together.

I asked Lou and she was hysterical and said she had woken up with him and he said they had sex but she didn't remember it. She was crying and crying and said she never would do that if she was herself and it was the worst she had ever been drunk. She said she was partly to blame as she didn't go home but she says she doesnt remember any of it. She said he was her friend and trusted him and he took advantage but he was just as much to blame.


Will the next chapter of this sad tale be< She thought he was her friend, but he wanted more. She trusted him not to molest her in her inebriated state, so felt it OK to spend the night (on the couch, floor, wherever). She refused his advances and did indeed sleep 'with' him cuz he crawled in with her when she was passed out. And since she spurned his advances (once again) he made up a story to tell the current BF. He claimed to have slept with her (true enough),but that is not always a euphemism for 'having sex'. He got his revenge on her for rejecting him sexually. She probably has vague memories of pushing him away, and slept through the 'rest of nothing else happening'!

Next chapter< She undergoes hypnosis to get to the bottom of things and in doing so has some 'past life' memories where, ECT & so forth is revealed...Stay tuned.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 46
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/10/2012 10:06:37 AM
OP, Now is this the one that dated midgets, the one that scammed you out of the rent money or the one that thought you were a 9 out of 10 but never returned your call? This all within the last 10 months. However, that couldnt be because the current girlfriend you have had for 2 years, right? Ok OP, everyone is noticing that you are full of shte. I am all in favor of a good fiction story but frankly your stories blow. Not much of a story, not very creative and not interesting. Hell, if you're going to have her get drunk and cheat, throw some roofies in there. Dont make it one guy, make it an orgy with guys, girls and maybe a couple of farm animals. Frankly your stories dont make me cry they make me yawn.
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 47
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/10/2012 12:05:57 PM
Don't feed the troll!!!!

Wow, fascinating life you lead...
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 48
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/10/2012 2:25:05 PM
Sometimes Ill feed trolls on slow Mondays
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 49
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/11/2012 1:28:16 PM
What do you do with all those dogs you and your ex GF's go out and buy?
 Jamesin2013
Joined: 9/13/2012
Msg: 50
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/11/2012 3:15:41 PM
so,,,it's agreed then?

15 year old pimply faced fat kid in his mom's basement with an over active imagination and a lifetime supply of Vaseline and hot pockets posts totally fictional stories on dating sites using a made up profile and pics straight from Google images and then sits back and marvel's at his lame handiwork? in between stuffing his face with the hot pockets and whacking off to babysitter porn wearing nothing more than a wifebeater and a handful of Kleenex?
allegedly
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 51
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:12:29 PM
Damnnnnn. Some people are just so pathetic.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 52
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:29:47 PM
His mama must have dropped him on his head when he was a baby. LOL
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 53
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:44:57 PM
Who has all this time and energy to waste on story telling and lying. At least write a book and make some bread.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 54
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/14/2013 10:07:45 PM
I agree, a sick little puppy. Who does that?
 epiphany4me
Joined: 6/24/2012
Msg: 55
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/15/2013 3:26:43 AM
You're on a dating site!?!
 KER6969
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 56
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/15/2013 5:14:49 AM
When 2 people are in a relationship they should not be hanging out with members of the opposite sex but should be loyal and focused on one another.

This situation proves what I've learned from a cheating ex husband and cheating ex boyfriends, men and woman CANNOT be platonic and studies have proven this since according to studies, men think of sex when they even see a woman.

I agree that if someone chooses to cheat then they can't possibly love who they are with in the relationship or marriage.

When I was cheated on I walked away immediately as for me cheating is a dealbreaker and there is no justification nor excuse for it.

You need to decide if you can trust her again and live with what she did or not. She made a choice not a mistake. She was irresponsible by cheating and boozing it up. Nothing responsible about drinking to excess.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 58
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/15/2013 8:04:15 AM
I couldn;t agree more. I think men and women can be friends as long as noone has romantic feelings. If someone has feelings then it can never work. I rather never ever see my ex again then be her friend and watch her hook up with another dude. If i can't be with the person i care for then i don't want them in my life. If i sound like a jerk i'm sorry. Plantoic friendships just don't work.

There is no excuse for dishonesty or cheating. NEVER EVER. Total deal breaker.
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