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 trueandblue59
Joined: 1/9/2013
Msg: 60
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :( Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
get a grip on it dude look at all the gals on here so what if she's gone i say good riddance, so long and by by toots lmao
 matchwhat
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 62
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/15/2013 9:48:58 PM
ah lighten up forum people; the kid is obviously hurt. Don't you remember what that is like, being in love and totally into another person. He is hurting bad and wants good, sound, mature advice from mature level headed adults. STOP re~reading old posts from him, and re~hashing old sh##, that is the past! He needs help now. OP, listen up~tell your girlfriend you need space, weigh the pros & cons, only contact her when you are ready; if she loves you she will be there for you.
I personally apologize for the forums poor judgement in counseling the youth.
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 63
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/15/2013 10:28:48 PM
Match. He is trolling. We aren't even sure if anything he is saying is the truth. Pathological liars do not deserve our sympathy or compassion. They deserve public ridicule, so they change their behavior.
 jmshere
Joined: 10/19/2009
Msg: 65
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/17/2013 1:12:30 PM
Hey Ben,unless she plans on giving up on booze,and I mean all 12 steps of it because she is an alcoholic.There is nothing left in this relationship for you.Sounds like you have alot going for you.I have been there a few times and quitting completely is her only chose.Good luck.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 66
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/17/2013 2:59:26 PM
O what a tangled web we weave...Maybe you should opt for a life with less drama
 makavali7dayz3
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 67
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/17/2013 5:36:30 PM
Not always, but sometimes. When i did something socially unacceptable and i was embrassed i never did it again. My behavior changed. If public ridicule never worked why would we do it ?
 J0SS222
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 69
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/19/2013 10:19:45 AM
I've read that sometimes people actually make their relationship better after such an experience. It points out the weaknesses in the relationship and provides an opportunity to seriously examine what's happening between both people.

For example - you aren't into the alcohol lifestyle and your girlfriend just found a good reason to follow your example. Really messed up stuff can happen because of alcohol. I had a girlfriend years ago - who regularly went to a popular good quality bar in a great upscale village and the bar belonged to her cousin. A guy she didn't like much but had asked her out several times and has always been told no put a date rape drug in her drink when she wasn't looking and then when she became paralysed by it and couldn't speak everyone thought she was drunk and her friends including her cousin helped the creep move her into his car since he claimed she'd had too much to drink and he said he'd make sure she got home safely. She underwent three days of being raped by him and not being able to even move although she was aware of everything that was happening. She was severely traumatized and was so humiliated that she didn't even tell anyone about it - until she told me.

If you love your girlfriend maybe you might want to think about forgetting about being horrified and trying to get to the bottom of what's really happening with her - and what really happened with the guy friend - instead of just closing it all down without getting to the truth. Maybe you should try being a supportive caring friend - even if the boyfriend part is over. What about friendship?
 J0SS222
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 70
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some vice :(
Posted: 1/19/2013 10:49:25 AM
Many years ago two friends after getting very drunk at a party (in their teens) woke up from a blackout to find themselves walking along railroad tracks far from the party which they did not remember leaving. They did not collapse in a heap on the road. Their bodies continue to function under some strange kind of remote control taking them on this long walk home on the railway tracks. Neither had any memory of what had happened or when they left the party and they were extremely lucky that there were no trains running on the track while they were walking on it. The alcoholic blackout is common knowledge and could have happened to his girlfriend and she may or may not have had sex with the "friend" and awakened with no memory of it. These things do happen. I was told once that I had gotten very drunk and had been flirting with (and sitting on the knee of) the boyfriend of my best friend's younger sister. I was at least 19 or 20 and was not normally "fast" or flirtatious and I'd never done anything like that (going after someone else's boyfriend - let alone young kids) prior to that situation to my knowledge. I was completely shocked when told what I'd done and thought someone had made up a story about me. A year previously I'd gone to the Christmas party at work (Simpson's Advertising Dept in Toronto) where all the young people had rented a big room in the Royal York Hotel for the after party. My boyfriend had to work so his cousin who was a very shy guy and a gentleman (as was my classy boyfriend) and a really good friend to both of us had come to the party with me because I never went drinking normally and never went to parties without my bf... Charlie was there to protect me. It turned out one of my friends kept handing me her drinks because someone was giving her "spiked" drinks that she knew were way too strong and since it was vodka in orange juice I didn't realize I was not drinking fruit punch and I woke up in the morning still in Charlie's protection to hear that I was the life of the party - dancing on tables and flirting with everyone - but at least I didn't do anything really overtly sexual - I was normally really shy. I definitely had no memory about any of it and it was a good thing I really was with friends. It IS possible to have a lot of stuff happen and have no memory of it. It could've happened to you or any of the other people who are claiming that "they could never do anything while drinking without knowing it" without you knowing a thing about it - so don't be overly judgmental. Alcohol really is very dangerous.
 sweetmexn
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 71
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/20/2013 8:20:07 PM
It's not true--you can never get so drunk that you don't know what you are doing. You know, but you do it anyway. If you forgive her, she can hold her "I was drunk" excuse time and time again for other incidents.

It may hurt, but you'll hurt more for as long as your relationship, or marriage if you decide to move on, and then there will be kids bearing the consequences.

And, everytime she wants to go out with her friends, as innocent as it may be, you'll always be afraid she'll repeat her mistake. Not a good way to start life, especially when you are so young and your life is starting out. You deserve better.

( mom of four boys).
 sweetmexn
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 72
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/20/2013 8:37:12 PM
OMG! so he's making this stuff up??? wow.
 cmckean1
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 73
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:05:41 PM
This is a hard question to answer but first id like to say the human species is not a monogamous species. i was with the same woman since she was 17 and i was her second partner. not too long ago we broke up after her fourth sexual relationship of her life. Which is much less than most at the age of thirty. My head is strong enough to forgive infidelity. She most certainly does love you im sure or she would let you go and move on. Do you have it in your heart to forgive her is the real question. It seems like you are taking law exams and have a lot going for you in life so its up to you. If not there are plenty of women that would be a hundred percent happy to have you in their life that would have loyalty to you.
 cmckean1
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 74
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:14:44 PM
Another thing i was going to say is if you were married i would say forgive because its til death do us part. If you do take her back make her work for it. Dont make it easy.
 cmckean1
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 75
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:22:04 PM
My ex wife has cervical cancer needs her uterus removed has to have tubes inserted in her ear nose and throat has chemotherapy never worked a lick but forgiving her two counts of infidelity is the least of my worries when it came to her. I wish i could say it was easy. I wish you luck. Stay moral and God bless
 QuinshunCarswell
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 76
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/27/2013 3:41:02 PM
NOBODY GETS THAT DRUNK! There were steps that lead up to that event that she could have prevented. "A" she shouldn't have got that drunk, and "B" I'm sure she could have called anyone!!!!
 beachlady12
Joined: 12/8/2012
Msg: 77
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/27/2013 3:56:35 PM
I say ditch her and move forward. I know it is hard to do. My ex left me for another woman after 25 years of marriage and i know what you are feeling. If she is that drunk and doesn't know where she is, then she probably isn't for you. I don't think she will change, alcohol is a drug and until they think they have a serious problem they can never heal them selves. There are plenty of other women out there looking for a great guy. By the way, keep the dog. They are excellent company....good luck
 Billy454
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 78
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:38:55 PM
ever occur to you that maybe the dude is lying maybe hes got a thing for ya girl n wants yall to break up .. trust me some guys are just like that
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 80
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/28/2013 10:23:06 AM
You did the right thing .I view unfaithfulness as automatic termination of a relationship with out a discussion .She will try to make excuses for her behavior but, no one held a gun to her head and forced her to get drunk. Once some one violates your trust , never will you trust that person 100% again .If you did get back together with her it would never be the same.
 bananastickers16
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 81
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:02:31 PM
if she cared about you that would not have happened. it sounds like a lot of excuses. alcohol is not an excuse. from what i have noticed thats the way a lot of girls are in pg. you sound like you have a bright future. you dont need a girl like that putting stress in your life. do not put up with cheating....cheaters dont change. trust me she will say anything to make it sound better. but it doesnt change that it happened and she lied about it till you found out.
 ArgentSword
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 82
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 84
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/29/2013 8:31:44 AM
OP is a lying troll, please don't feed it...

(look at his posting history for some fun!)
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 86
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 2/1/2013 7:14:06 PM
Hmmm???? I'm sorry to tell you this my friend, but I've been drunk before, and I've seen people that were very drunk. I've NEVER been so drunk that I couldn't remember doing something. Alcohol makes you loose inhibitions, not memory. If she says she doesn't remember it then she's lieing, or she got drunk, past out, and he raped her while she was past out.
If I were you I'd mention to her that if she cannot remember then she was raped, and if that's the case then she needs to go to the cops about it. Watch her reactions when you suggest this. I'd bet she changes her story and says she does remember, and just made up not remembering to try to put the blame on him.
 Miss_ing
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 88
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 2/4/2013 5:25:45 PM
Totally agree! Your best friend is your dog, get custody.
This is not the first time or the last. You don't want advice you want someone to make a decision for you. Well pull up your boxers, and make the hard decision and make it stick. Dump the girl, drunk ha! Friend ha! If she really wanted this to work she would have made it back to you. So dump the girl and keep your best friend the dog.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 89
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 2/6/2013 7:01:10 AM
Yes, when young people drink, they often do stupid things like this - sounds like she blacked out, it's very believable, happens all the time, unfortunately. It's as much her fault as the guys though - it was her choice to get drunk.

If she had cheated out of revenge and because she did not love you, that would be much worse and the relationship might not have a chance.

But I don't think she cheated on purpose, and not because she does not love you... it may truly be a mistake - a very stupid mistake.

You may be able to rebuild trust if you both go to counseling. They know how to do this, but there is no guarantee. Each case is different and everyone is unique. Trust levels and love levels are tied together and rise and fall together. So, to love someone a lot, you need to trust them fully.
 Temptation7
Joined: 8/30/2012
Msg: 90
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 2/7/2013 10:04:39 PM
If she is trying to get back together with you, she obviously didn't find anything better out there.

People make mistakes. Your obviously on this site and have thought of or if not already been out with women you met on here. While she is at home crying in regret trying to get you back. so get laid and then ask her to take you back. Then you both did it. If she is okay with it at that point, start fresh.
 boatbob2q
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 93
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Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/21/2016 4:10:59 PM
I agree,keep the dog,you dont want that kind of girl,leave her stew in her own juices.
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