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 J0SS222
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 70
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some vice :( Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Many years ago two friends after getting very drunk at a party (in their teens) woke up from a blackout to find themselves walking along railroad tracks far from the party which they did not remember leaving. They did not collapse in a heap on the road. Their bodies continue to function under some strange kind of remote control taking them on this long walk home on the railway tracks. Neither had any memory of what had happened or when they left the party and they were extremely lucky that there were no trains running on the track while they were walking on it. The alcoholic blackout is common knowledge and could have happened to his girlfriend and she may or may not have had sex with the "friend" and awakened with no memory of it. These things do happen. I was told once that I had gotten very drunk and had been flirting with (and sitting on the knee of) the boyfriend of my best friend's younger sister. I was at least 19 or 20 and was not normally "fast" or flirtatious and I'd never done anything like that (going after someone else's boyfriend - let alone young kids) prior to that situation to my knowledge. I was completely shocked when told what I'd done and thought someone had made up a story about me. A year previously I'd gone to the Christmas party at work (Simpson's Advertising Dept in Toronto) where all the young people had rented a big room in the Royal York Hotel for the after party. My boyfriend had to work so his cousin who was a very shy guy and a gentleman (as was my classy boyfriend) and a really good friend to both of us had come to the party with me because I never went drinking normally and never went to parties without my bf... Charlie was there to protect me. It turned out one of my friends kept handing me her drinks because someone was giving her "spiked" drinks that she knew were way too strong and since it was vodka in orange juice I didn't realize I was not drinking fruit punch and I woke up in the morning still in Charlie's protection to hear that I was the life of the party - dancing on tables and flirting with everyone - but at least I didn't do anything really overtly sexual - I was normally really shy. I definitely had no memory about any of it and it was a good thing I really was with friends. It IS possible to have a lot of stuff happen and have no memory of it. It could've happened to you or any of the other people who are claiming that "they could never do anything while drinking without knowing it" without you knowing a thing about it - so don't be overly judgmental. Alcohol really is very dangerous.
 sweetmexn
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 71
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/20/2013 8:20:07 PM
It's not true--you can never get so drunk that you don't know what you are doing. You know, but you do it anyway. If you forgive her, she can hold her "I was drunk" excuse time and time again for other incidents.

It may hurt, but you'll hurt more for as long as your relationship, or marriage if you decide to move on, and then there will be kids bearing the consequences.

And, everytime she wants to go out with her friends, as innocent as it may be, you'll always be afraid she'll repeat her mistake. Not a good way to start life, especially when you are so young and your life is starting out. You deserve better.

( mom of four boys).
 sweetmexn
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 72
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/20/2013 8:37:12 PM
OMG! so he's making this stuff up??? wow.
 cmckean1
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 73
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:05:41 PM
This is a hard question to answer but first id like to say the human species is not a monogamous species. i was with the same woman since she was 17 and i was her second partner. not too long ago we broke up after her fourth sexual relationship of her life. Which is much less than most at the age of thirty. My head is strong enough to forgive infidelity. She most certainly does love you im sure or she would let you go and move on. Do you have it in your heart to forgive her is the real question. It seems like you are taking law exams and have a lot going for you in life so its up to you. If not there are plenty of women that would be a hundred percent happy to have you in their life that would have loyalty to you.
 cmckean1
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 74
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:14:44 PM
Another thing i was going to say is if you were married i would say forgive because its til death do us part. If you do take her back make her work for it. Dont make it easy.
 cmckean1
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 75
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:22:04 PM
My ex wife has cervical cancer needs her uterus removed has to have tubes inserted in her ear nose and throat has chemotherapy never worked a lick but forgiving her two counts of infidelity is the least of my worries when it came to her. I wish i could say it was easy. I wish you luck. Stay moral and God bless
 QuinshunCarswell
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 76
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/27/2013 3:41:02 PM
NOBODY GETS THAT DRUNK! There were steps that lead up to that event that she could have prevented. "A" she shouldn't have got that drunk, and "B" I'm sure she could have called anyone!!!!
 beachlady12
Joined: 12/8/2012
Msg: 77
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/27/2013 3:56:35 PM
I say ditch her and move forward. I know it is hard to do. My ex left me for another woman after 25 years of marriage and i know what you are feeling. If she is that drunk and doesn't know where she is, then she probably isn't for you. I don't think she will change, alcohol is a drug and until they think they have a serious problem they can never heal them selves. There are plenty of other women out there looking for a great guy. By the way, keep the dog. They are excellent company....good luck
 Billy454
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 78
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:38:55 PM
ever occur to you that maybe the dude is lying maybe hes got a thing for ya girl n wants yall to break up .. trust me some guys are just like that
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 80
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/28/2013 10:23:06 AM
You did the right thing .I view unfaithfulness as automatic termination of a relationship with out a discussion .She will try to make excuses for her behavior but, no one held a gun to her head and forced her to get drunk. Once some one violates your trust , never will you trust that person 100% again .If you did get back together with her it would never be the same.
 bananastickers16
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 81
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:02:31 PM
if she cared about you that would not have happened. it sounds like a lot of excuses. alcohol is not an excuse. from what i have noticed thats the way a lot of girls are in pg. you sound like you have a bright future. you dont need a girl like that putting stress in your life. do not put up with cheating....cheaters dont change. trust me she will say anything to make it sound better. but it doesnt change that it happened and she lied about it till you found out.
 ArgentSword
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 82
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 84
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History
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 1/29/2013 8:31:44 AM
OP is a lying troll, please don't feed it...

(look at his posting history for some fun!)
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 86
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 2/1/2013 7:14:06 PM
Hmmm???? I'm sorry to tell you this my friend, but I've been drunk before, and I've seen people that were very drunk. I've NEVER been so drunk that I couldn't remember doing something. Alcohol makes you loose inhibitions, not memory. If she says she doesn't remember it then she's lieing, or she got drunk, past out, and he raped her while she was past out.
If I were you I'd mention to her that if she cannot remember then she was raped, and if that's the case then she needs to go to the cops about it. Watch her reactions when you suggest this. I'd bet she changes her story and says she does remember, and just made up not remembering to try to put the blame on him.
 Miss_ing
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 88
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 2/4/2013 5:25:45 PM
Totally agree! Your best friend is your dog, get custody.
This is not the first time or the last. You don't want advice you want someone to make a decision for you. Well pull up your boxers, and make the hard decision and make it stick. Dump the girl, drunk ha! Friend ha! If she really wanted this to work she would have made it back to you. So dump the girl and keep your best friend the dog.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 89
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 2/6/2013 7:01:10 AM
Yes, when young people drink, they often do stupid things like this - sounds like she blacked out, it's very believable, happens all the time, unfortunately. It's as much her fault as the guys though - it was her choice to get drunk.

If she had cheated out of revenge and because she did not love you, that would be much worse and the relationship might not have a chance.

But I don't think she cheated on purpose, and not because she does not love you... it may truly be a mistake - a very stupid mistake.

You may be able to rebuild trust if you both go to counseling. They know how to do this, but there is no guarantee. Each case is different and everyone is unique. Trust levels and love levels are tied together and rise and fall together. So, to love someone a lot, you need to trust them fully.
 Temptation7
Joined: 8/30/2012
Msg: 90
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 2/7/2013 10:04:39 PM
If she is trying to get back together with you, she obviously didn't find anything better out there.

People make mistakes. Your obviously on this site and have thought of or if not already been out with women you met on here. While she is at home crying in regret trying to get you back. so get laid and then ask her to take you back. Then you both did it. If she is okay with it at that point, start fresh.
 boatbob2q
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 93
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History
Tonight my world came crashing down... please, i need some advice :(
Posted: 12/21/2016 4:10:59 PM
I agree,keep the dog,you dont want that kind of girl,leave her stew in her own juices.
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