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 oiuytrewq
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 64
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Messaging guys first never develops into a datePage 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Only dates I have ever been on were from the woman messaging me. Ones I message I get no where.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 69
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/17/2012 10:08:58 PM
The funny thing is when a woman does send a message its just what women say they dont like to get. Which is "hi" and thats about it. When I get a flirt and I'm not intrested I don't bother to even answer it.. I look at it as nothing, If its something writen even if its a HI and nothing else.. I just write thank you but not intrested. Almost all the messages I got except one I just wasn't intrested in meeting.. Just cause we are guys don't mean we jump at every woman mail... Just like women we too don't feel like we should compromise on anyone.
My advice would be same advice that guys get. Which you can read all over the forum.
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 70
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/18/2012 8:59:43 AM
That is not true, they message me and it's leads to dates. (sad to say only first dates) ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 75
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/19/2012 11:46:18 AM
Do men actually ask women out on dates these days? It seems like it's just propositions. That's been my experience.
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 77
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/19/2012 3:26:16 PM
Most of my dates are with women that contacted me first. It is very rare anymore that I make first contact, got tired of writing a hundred notes for a couple replies, so now I just let them come to me, MUCH easier.

OFMM
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 79
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/20/2012 1:39:21 PM
I guess that being normal for me not to get any dates form dating sites even when e-mails are exchanged.

It is not unusual , if someone is not interested then too bad , if you are expecting to be asked and it does not happen then you ask simple as that , and if he is reluctant show him a boob and say you want sex , immediately most will say where at i will be right there, quick and dirty way to get dates, I if pulled my junk out would be blocked and police would take me aawy, hahaha

Do not worry move on .

If you really want a guy you would like to meet initiate contact first, tell him what you want and feel and ask him out for a change, rejection is a possibility but that is life, if that happens...next...next...be like a guy, be the one with the action instead of being passive.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 80
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/20/2012 11:19:32 PM

Hi I have noticed that whenever (hardly ever now) I have expressed interest by sending the flirt option guy or sent a message and this is usually when they are users who want to meet me. They will normally reply to a message but not one of them has asked me out. In the real world I am friendly and quite outgoing and would have no problem talking to New people and guys normally respond well.

Welcome to what pretty much every guy goes through all of our lives. 99% strike outs, occasional interest, given phone numbers, and then make phone calls that never get returned. Happy dating!
 brian747ff
Joined: 5/28/2011
Msg: 84
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/22/2012 4:59:10 AM
You'll probably find there not who they say they are, it's easy to go on a picture sight find a good looking fella take the picture & put it on pof as them lovelly jubbly.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 85
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/22/2012 8:20:42 AM

Men and women BOTH make excuses for their lack of success, blaming the site or the opposite gender.


Yes some people don't have much success on dating sites due to their mistakes. Having said that, I do think there are plenty of people on dating sites ( especially on POF ) that are flakes, jerks, liars, cheaters etc. Also sometimes people do lose interest because things that have nothing to do with the other person. These things aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 88
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/23/2012 10:20:02 PM

Do men actually ask women out on dates these days? It seems like it's just propositions. That's been my experience.


Why the heck do you have a profile cleavage shot without your face in it? What does THAT say about you?

If you want somebody to see you as a person, your FACE is your identifier. If you want people to see you as body parts, then keep posting pics of other things.

Geez it's not brain surgery.
Just keep your profile text clear;
- List things you ACTUALLY DO as things you actually do
- List things you WANT to do as things you WANT
- Keep the negatives out
- Add a little humor and poke a little fun at yourself

If you see somebody you like, TELL THEM WHY.

If they don't reply back; well, they don't HAVE to reply. So be it. Move on and keep looking.

Guys messaging first and developing into a date is probably about .85 percent. Not even 1 out of a 100. You have to be INSANELY attractive, or be willing to hunt down really stupid vulnerable women to get that amount any higher.
Gals messaging first and developing into a date may not be high - but if it's 10 percent, that's 11-12x better than most guys. Keep your perspectives in check.
 Ken_19
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 99
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/29/2012 9:35:25 AM
Well first if you wrote me (if I was young enough), I probably wouldn't ask someone living in Dublin, Dublin out. Don't know where that state is, but it sounds far away and I have a self-imposed 10 mile rule. Beyond that, who can tell?
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 104
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 12/30/2012 9:01:27 AM
Need thicker skin. Online dating's a whole different monster than dating offline. Since most women aren't used rejection in any way shape or form & especially if hardly experiencing it offline, they feel it's the holy grail of failure. Rejection is quite common for those that initiate contact.
 ImReadyForUnow
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 111
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/4/2013 9:17:26 PM
RustyCat79,

I'm with you. I never get a response to messages (not flirts) I send to gentlemen.
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 115
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/18/2013 10:01:31 AM
It's pointless to respond to someones messages for whom you have no interest in.
 WomanInSF
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 117
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/18/2013 12:02:34 PM

I'm with you. I never get a response to messages (not flirts) I send to gentlemen.

Same here...
 pisces273
Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 119
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/18/2013 12:56:48 PM
Truth be told, I rarely if ever, get responses from any woman to whom I have sent a message. I take my time and develop intelligent emails showing that I have read their profiles and indicate where our interests may be similar. Not so much as a no thank you, not interested. I think it's just part of the impersonal nature of the online experience. People tend to use this virtual world as their escape from reality. Not having to actually face a person makes one more inclined to be disconnected from basic manners/etiquette.
 FrenchIrishGal
Joined: 9/25/2009
Msg: 120
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/18/2013 1:53:33 PM
Hey girl, I know what you mean..I am generally friendly by nature and have no problems talking to anyone, but it's nearly inpossible to keep a man on here interested in keeping a conversation going..He may text back a few times and and I think he might be interested, and then he falls off the map..What's up with that?
 tel203
Joined: 11/25/2011
Msg: 125
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/20/2013 3:06:22 AM
I Find it the opposite - I always respond no matter the location, age or likeability match. I prefer to be contacted as it shows no shyness - Its only chatting at first lol.
 Man In New Hampshire
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 126
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/20/2013 8:53:48 AM
venusenvy777

Couldn't sat it better myself. It's not a "I want to be most popular" site. It's a dating site.
 Seventiesbaby2013
Joined: 7/21/2012
Msg: 127
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/20/2013 10:13:45 AM
They say to contact guys. I contacted 50 wrote to them. read through tons of profiles found 50 I likes and thought would be exellent matches for me, Two wrote back. One said i was not his type. The other didnt answer my second email. I will never do that again.
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 131
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/20/2013 3:55:51 PM
I recall reading how a socail counsellor who was well versed in online dating etiquette, said that the right thing to do if you get a message from someone who's not a match to you, is a non response. To all those who make a big deal of a "hi how are you" type message. I welcome all forms of contact, as long as the intent is good. Users who state they disrespect a simple "hi, how are you", I think aren't being reasonable. How can you reasonably expect more of someone who decides to approach you online as opposed to in person? In person, people usually only break the ice with a simple "hi" or "how are you". Man, it's no wonder why some people are single or chronically single thinking like that. It's not right to expect strangers to conform to a "T" to your trend of thought.
 tigressue58
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 134
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/21/2013 2:39:50 AM
I think they are afraid our pictures arent real. So many women post pictures of themselves from years ago or before they gained 1oo pounds, or they put pics of their daughters or friends up posing as themselves, so do not feel alone. I am 55 and these are my pics and guys are scared to do more than text or talk to me too. So, dont take it personal.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 135
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Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/21/2013 4:56:47 AM
You can either suck it up like so many men do or don't make first contact.
Flirts are nothing.

I think if you live in the south and are of my generation, SOME view it as aggressive or you are easy to get in the sack.

A few local men have actually told me that.

No one owes you an answer to anything.
Personally I rather be ignored than waste my time and told why.


I am 55 and these are my pics and guys are scared to do more than text or talk to me too. So, dont take it personal.

^^^^^^^^^^^^
Are men telling you in e mails they are afraid of you because you are to gorgeous/good to be true?
OK
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 140
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/21/2013 11:27:48 AM
When I dated online I had to get out there and seek the men I felt some attraction to and message them.

I have no idea why men never ask me out. I assume it is because I am not attractive, it has nothing to do with "intimidating" men. I don't intimidate men. I just dont inspire them sexually.
 Pragmatous78
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 141
Messaging guys first never develops into a date
Posted: 1/21/2013 11:57:03 AM
I completely agree. If it's too good to be true it probably is.


On here you and 1241 other women are ALL emailing the three (3) hot-looking embellished-profile "executives" with yachts and planes to fly you around the World.. Just a little exaggeration there to show how it is for most guys doing a similar thing with the few hottest women and never getting a response, usually.

Logically ask, just why would those few hottest-looking top status people be on here with such an in-demand "dating" profile?
Answer, is that they usually wouldn't. Soo, those few top hotties that everyone is apparently emailing to no avail, are most likely fake profiles...
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