Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lovepassionx
Joined: 3/12/2012
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Past sexual historyPage 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I think the type of men who ask this question are worried about how they compare to their partners ex's, so a little of it comes from low self esteem.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/5/2013 5:11:08 PM
Its the person's past that has made them the person you are attracted to right now so there should not be any problem.

The older you get the more chance there is of one or both of you having had more partners. As regards STI's there is just as much chance of you catching an infection from someone who has had just a few partners as there is one who has had many. Its not about the number of partners they have had but how careful they have been and the precaustions they have taken.

I am not interested nor jelous of a womans sexual history - I am only interested in the here and now. That is all that matters afterall :)
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/5/2013 5:14:20 PM
MSG 59

I have never questioned a partner or a possible date about their sexual history. But that says nothing about my lack of communication skills or any insecurities. It is not on my agenda because I trust my instincts about who they are in relation to me and us. That trust has nothing to do with their history. I get to know these things in time and at their choosing mostly. And them mine. Low self esteem? The opposite I would suggest,and with a respect for her ;-)
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/6/2013 8:46:12 AM
I once had a car and didn't know it was an antique. I loved the car but after learning of the history, it's true value increased. Too late, I'd already sold it before learning its true value.

So learning that Russell Brand shagged her made her much more of a catch?


Good to get all topics out in the open. Those who are too closed and of the perception that real total open and honest communication is not what they want or do.....ok.

Not everyone feels the need to know every detail of a persons history. That person your asking may simply not see any relevance in some things from their past,either in their own lives or its impact on their partner. If I met someone who had an unhealthy fascination to learn every detail of my sexual history then I would start to wonder what reason lay behind it.
Respecting who they are now while allowing them to reveal their past in their own time is far more preferable to me that demanding information that they are not yet comfortable to provide.
That seems more emotionally mature that the "mature" approach you have spoken of.
 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/6/2013 9:03:11 AM
I`ve never enquired about a partner`s past bedroom history, i fail to see what relevance it has to the present, likewise, i dont see the need to volunteer my own history, though of course, if asked, i`ve never hesited in answering her questions,

Tomorrow is more important than yesterday people ! :O)
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/6/2013 4:32:44 PM
I learned of one partners recent sexual history when I withdrew wearing a condom that was not on while going in!
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/7/2013 3:05:44 PM

Who on earth on POF has a past sexual history..
Most people on here, moan about not even getting a date.
Men message the girls..the girls don`t anwser...not much "getting it on" where sex is concerned!

Even less if the forums are such an attraction? ;-)
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/8/2013 3:09:43 AM
"My question is, how do others feel about a potential partners sexual past, what, if anything would really put you off someone or do you feel that what has happended in the past should stay there and shouldn't affect the way you feel about someone when everything else is right about them."

You have to also take into account that someone could be lying. I just refuse to answer, but if I am pushed I would always lie, because men use that Magic Number to instantly pigeonhole women into one category or another and I hate those labels.

And if someone as basically decent and honest as me would lie, then anyone could be lying. Therefore, what do I think about a potential partner's sexual history? I jsut hope he's GOT one, because there is nothing worse than a man who does not know what he is doing in bed!

I used to think the more he'd had the better he'd be, but the most skilled lover I ever had turned out to have made love with only three women before me (he was 50).
 sherberie
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/8/2013 2:45:38 PM
Unfortunately ,, as our media is currently telling us,sometimes someones previous sexual history can be more serious than just numbers. After dating a guy for over 3 years, he was arrested for "historical" sexual offences (on minors). I was totally shocked & horrified. He said he was sorry, but I felt he was only sorry about being caught ,, not what he had done. And yes ,, he is now an ex.
 AprilTaurus01
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 31
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/9/2013 10:08:36 PM
My rule no condom no contact unless we are serious and then he needs to have his health papers. I need it in writing and yes I would get mine done and do have mine in writing no exceptions. Its not a car you can't put a new engine in it. Take care of your body and be safe no matter how many lovers you've had in the past. Get tested don't be too shy to ask or have him keep it wrapped
 Perspektiv
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 32
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/10/2013 5:20:57 AM
I look at a person's character, prior to whether I'd look at their sexual past.

I'd have more of an issue if your high numbers, related to stereotypes of people who have extremely promiscuous lifestyles. I.E Extremely low self-esteem, body image issues, history of cheating (which to me would ring red flags of an unhealthy sex addiction), and the like.

I think that, would be more of a problem to me, than your sexual numbers.

Or, if you had done things I would have a hard time accepting. I.E Prostitution, and the like.

Otherwise, if you were just having good healthy, and safe fun. I'm not sweating it.
 TheRe-SownRose
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/11/2013 8:09:19 AM

When I said I don't care about peoples sexual past I meant number of partners, not sexual health. I actually have a really bad phobia of STD's and health in general.

I am a massive hypochondriac when it comes to STD's, especially incurable diseases such as HIV and herpes. I am so bad I've actually avoided dating people with acne and rashes because I've thought they may have AIDS. If I see someone with a mouth cold sore I automatically think they have genital herpes because cold sores can be passed to the genitals. I know it sounds stupid, I was fine until doctor Google came along!

When ever I get serious with anyone I do demand a full STD test. It's the only way to stop me being a hypochondriac with them.



Ah, DT...so much ammunition here.....
 TheRe-SownRose
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/11/2013 8:21:46 AM

'm very thicked skinned. My mates have tried to play on the hypochondria and failed ;-)


Haha I'm sure they have, not sure you want this friend to though, unless that's a challenge??
 Nottinghamfellow
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/13/2013 3:08:30 AM
I am fascinated. When I have attended the clap clinic i have seen couples in the waiting room but they only get seen singulary. I have never had any results in writing. How can one get results in writing to pass the above mentioned certification requirements? And they are only as good as the last test, your partner who you dont believe to tell you the truth cant provide a certificate to say he/she isn't shagging someone at work in the lunch break then coming home and doing you for supper.
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/14/2013 5:48:33 AM

I THINK I could cope with the idea of having sex with an ex-prostitute, or porn-star.... The number they'd slept with wouldn't be the issue, I can just imagine that some of them will be very jaded about sex.

So whilst they will be very experienced, it could just feel completely passionless

Many prostitutes completely detach their emotions from what they do and can enjoy sex and passion with a partner just like anyone else can. But it does depend on the individual in exactly the same way as it does other people in society
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Past sexual history
Posted: 2/14/2013 6:38:56 AM
^^^^ Just as the cynics and the jaded in pof, I am sure that a sex worker is just as likely of having a normal relationship.
I am sure that figures will indicate that a lot of sex workers are a bit messed up in general. But ones mental health can change, and even those who are effected by their experiences are capable of a loving relationship. Each as they come,so to speak.




Like I said, I think I wouldn't be bothered if it was something in their past, but i doubt I'd be fine with it, if it was something they still did (even if they did completely detach themselves emotionally)

If it was just a shag, then the latter possibly wouldn't be an issue.... Especially as, I've always wanted to fvck a porn starlet.

How would you view the part time prostitute who once or twice a month has sex on an night out with a guy to fund her evening? As a guy who seems quite sexually liberated is there much difference between you shagging a new conquest as often as you like to her shagging a buff guy for money?
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  >