|FWB dilemmaPage 3 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4)|
|Ok is she going to see him as in dinner and drinks? or is she going to have a night of fun with him.. If that's the case..then dump and run dude. Honestly do NOT get caught up in this kind of thing, cause it's rare to change.|
Posted: 12/26/2012 1:59:10 PM
|(qoute) It's not fair to ask her to be sexual exclusive. That is for committed relationships. (/quote)|
I agree, if you feel wierd about her having unprotected sex with another partner simply wear a condom when you have sex with her.
Posted: 12/30/2012 1:56:10 PM
|I am not seeing anybody else. She has given me the greenlight to see other girls but I have no urge right now because I like hanging out with her. Plus, if I do meet someone else, and we start sleeping together, I highly doubt she will be OK with me seeing my current FWB. We will see each other less and less which will be too bad cos we do care about each other. She just wants to have her options open. I don't see the need. Neither of us needs to test the waters anymore|
Posted: 12/31/2012 1:12:21 AM
|I have to say I am on your side. I do not have casual date sex , I prefer one person to bond with and Yes, I would have a big issue with a guy I am seeing sleeping with other women then coming to see me. Just not for me. I know of many people that don't care about that and feel sex is a casual thing. |
I do not believe you can have the best of possible amazing sex without a connection. yes it can feel good but is not the mind blowing experience you can have when you are with someone you care about, trust and have mutual meeting of the minds by wat of the heart.
Posted: 12/31/2012 3:49:41 AM
|In my opinion it's gross as F*ck to be kissing a woman and getting some other guy's jizz in my mouth-I'd be pissed. I'd probably also need therapy, but I'm a dominant and territorial male and I won't have any other male marking around in my territory. FWB while spreading it around is just another name for being promiscuous and an awesomely effective way to spread disease. A condom is not a force field and will not protect you from snowballing catastrophes. Not unless you have a body condom as thick as a tarp. Never ceases to amaze me how much faith people put in a piece of thin plastic. You can't trust the Fedex guy to ring the doorbell before leaving a package on your steps, but people want to believe in a thin piece of plastic to save their lives-when they know for sure their sex partner is banging other people on top of it. Guarantee you every person of the 20-30% of the population that has some sort of STD/STI thought they were being safe with equally warped sense of logic.|
I also understand other people have different values, but how much value does something have if they hand it out like General Tso's at a Chinese buffet? Depending on the selection of stuff you can have on most Chinese buffets the GT dish is worth about a dime. If I'm going to call a woman my own and/or bet my life/health on her; she's going to be worth more than a dime-that's not a wise investment in any market.
It appears you have come to terms with or decided it's cool to kiss or go down on your pal and get a mouthful of some other guy's DNA, I couldn't do it. The thought of it makes me want to go gargle with bleach.
Posted: 12/31/2012 4:44:42 AM
|I have never had a FWB relationship ....but I do know that this wouldn't work for me. Great sex and friendship is what I am mostly looking for, for a LTR. |
I have learned long ago that even casual sex is not for me, because when I was younger, it always led to a ltr with someone that was all wrong for me....and I wrong for her.
For me, sex is such a very intense intimate connection, best not go there unless I am with someone I know very well, and could see myself in an exclusve monogamous ltr. Not at my age......lol
Posted: 12/31/2012 5:50:30 AM
|aaaa...Your call and I would say your both adults....soooo ask her and if this doesnt feel right move on.....and by the sounds of you its gonna be hard.....good luck!|
Posted: 12/31/2012 6:07:47 AM
She just wants to have her options open. I don't see the need.
imo, shes just freshly divorced, and that might give you the first real big clue of the big pic here!
You let yourself get suck up in a disruptive life changing situation [no pun indented] And were there to provide 'rebound comfort' but that was only temporary thingy and the show now must go on.
Your ego may have got off on it, but reality too will catch up sooner or later. Next time, wait till the dust has settled[healed] before jumping in another s person life first.
Posted: 12/31/2012 6:43:31 AM
|She has just come out of an exclusive relationship and now you are asking her to get exclusive again with you? If you cant see it from her point of view you are being selfish. She has told you she is seeing other people, she doesnt mind you seeing other people, the writing is on the wall. Get over it, buy some condoms or just leave her be.|
Posted: 12/31/2012 1:43:16 PM
|I had a f.w.b's, We did have rule's. We would go out and meet people, but wouldnt have sex with no one else.|
The sex stooped if we met someone, and started dating.
Posted: 12/31/2012 3:02:21 PM
|You don't have to have sex with her the day after she sees someone else. You said that you were truly friends so just hang out with her until the taint disappears. Oh yeah, condoms and refraining from oral sex might be the order of the day. I had an affair with a married woman and asked her to not engage in sex with her husband a few days before seeing me. Yes, I had no real way of knowing if she complied with my wishes. These types of relationships are risky in many ways and I gave them up many years ago. |
Posted: 12/31/2012 5:41:50 PM
|She like you are a free agent. If she wants to have sex with x and then have sex the next day with you there is nothing to complain about. From your post I am sensing that you are not getting out and meeting new sexual partners as the FWB is making you lazy. Or is there something else like you want more than a FWB? Remember it is very important to not allow yourself to become emotionally en thrall. She is going through a divorce. It takes time to recover from that. Continue the FWB and use condoms if you want. But look to meet other sexual partners.|
Posted: 12/31/2012 11:04:27 PM
|I had a very attractive guy tell me he wanted an FWB relationship. I thought about it, then decided it would be okay but friends first. I barely know him. Seen him twice. Now I find him on sex sites. And as far as being a friend? He's just not there for me. I wanted someone to confide in, listen to me, be a real friend and sex was the icing on the cake. How can he be a FWB if he is not a friend at all?|
I decided against it. I don't think it would work seeing he probably just wants to bang me and leave me for the women on the sex site and yes, I agree with a few of the above about STD's. What about AIDS? That stuff is like luggage, you keep it forever. So you have to consider that you just can't trust anyone! Sad, but true. I think I'd rather be stranded on a desert island with a gorilla.
And what about those ones that make you think you are the only one, you love them and then you find out they bang anything that moves? Go to their house and fish stop swimming. It's scarey. I have always used protection then found myself digging in the garbage to make sure the rubber didn't break. Today's society is scarey and everyone thinks it can't happen to them. Surprise! It can and just might. So why take a chance? For what? I really have a struggle with this. I think it is better to be in love, but my question is, how can you trust this person is faithful? The one I was seeing used protection with me but the other woman (if you could call her that) he didn't use anything. I found this out much later. I wanted to vomit. I still do. He is not being careful, she is banging other guys and he doesn't care! If I have a disease, I guess I deserve it for being so stupid.
Posted: 1/1/2013 7:32:08 AM
|OP.....if the situation disgusts you,and you care alot more about her than she does you,and that's obvious,GET OUT of it unless for some reason you feel as though you are only worthy of part of her and willing to settle for sex,when you want love.|
As for this situation.
I had a very attractive guy tell me he wanted an FWB relationship. I thought about it, then decided it would be okay but friends first. I barely know him. Seen him twice. Now I find him on sex sites. And as far as being a friend? He's just not there for me. How can he be a FWB if he is not a friend at all?
He can't.He's a F*ck Buddy,(FB)who lied to gain entry, which means
he doesn't give two sh*ts about you or who you f*ck.
I wanted someone to confide in, listen to me, be a real friend and sex was the icing on the cake.
To me,that's called a boyfriend.I have one of those and I don't ever have to wonder,worry or wait for his love,caring,or c*ck!You outta try it! It's awesome!
FWB might be better if it was called BWF.
I think it is better to be in love, but my question is, how can you trust this person is faithful?
You can't know for sure with anyone.There are no guarentee's,but in my book,it's still better than uping the odds on some FB or FWB situation.
Posted: 1/9/2013 7:28:13 AM
|We have a unique situation because we do both really care about each other and do things outside the bedroom together as well. She has told me that she really likes me. She just became divorced so not looking for anything. I got a pocket dial from her the other day and all I could hear was some yelling and screaming. Her dog had gotten out and took off. She lives in a sketchy area right now and is always worried about people breaking in. There is a girl in the basement suite beneath her that has had guys come over and there has been yelling and the girl has been beaten up. So of course I am worried about her so I went over there to make sure she was OK. She answered the door in her robe. She admitted that there was a guy there but she says she never Fcuked him. She was about to hop in the shower before her friend let the dog out she says. |
So I really have to fight my emotions. We arent committed but it does bother me to know she has a few guys on the side.
Posted: 1/9/2013 8:40:33 AM
So I really have to fight my emotions.
We arent committed but it does bother me to know she has a few guys on the side.
You aren't capable of having a FWB's if you have to "fight your emotions" knowing full well she's
f*cking other guys.
Just walk away.Friends don't string friends along.
Posted: 1/10/2013 8:04:44 AM
|You will have to come to terms with the fact that she loves sex with no commitment, you are just another co(k to her, I'll bet she tells the other guys the same thing to string them along.|
You have to make a choice, either continue to use her as a masturbation tool with the full understanding that she is doing every man she meets and have zero expectations of any kind of commitment or move on and find a real girlfriend.
Oh, and no condom use? Are you nuts? If she doesn't already have an STD, she will soon...
Posted: 1/10/2013 3:39:13 PM
|OK...you are a temp guy.|
Someone to tide her over until she decides
she wants a relationship.
which probably won't be with you.
(temps rarely get the full time position.)
Now you can be OK with that.
Don't fall in love.
See other people.
Or get hurt when she starts taking applications
for a full time guy.
Up to you.
Posted: 1/11/2013 10:29:09 PM
It's sort of a longer-term one night stand. :)
No it isn't!!! No wonder people are so confused!
I was once talking to by buddy and his wife about the degrees of seperation between these labeled relationships. At some point I used the term "lover" to describe a certain kind of relationship, that they are not the same- Problem is, as my friend pointed out, is that the term "lover" is associated with "gay lover" and so people don't want to use it, and sub FWB, when they shouldn't, but also sub FWB for "fvck buddy", because they can't figure out the difference either.
Posted: 2/6/2013 5:33:42 PM
|But cant a FWB agree that we can date other people but just can't have sex with anyone else?|
Posted: 2/7/2013 6:17:21 PM
|Nopers. FWB means you have a lot of friends you have sex with. Truck drivers have a lot of FWB :)|
Posted: 2/12/2013 9:30:51 AM
But cant a FWB agree that we can date other people but just can't have sex with anyone else?
I think you have become lazy and you dont like the fact that your sweet deal could be jeapordized. I dont think it is anything more than that. The only feeling that you seem to be worried about is the one about her ****ing other guys as it isnt convenient for you.
Posted: 2/28/2013 1:38:16 PM
Truck drivers have a lot of FWB :)
That is not true.
Some uses lot lizards, but those are not to be confused with FWB.
Posted: 2/28/2013 2:41:20 PM
|Just get to the point with this gal. Are you banging the other guys. If she says no and you still think she is move on.|
Posted: 3/4/2013 8:03:36 PM
|I know she is banging other guys. I just feel like hey. you get horny, give me a call. She likes the sex with me, she just likes sex with some of the others too. Some have a small c0ck so she doesnt see them anymore. whatever I guess I can move on and find others too! Harder for guys to find it than women thats for sure!|