Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 41
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I have a mate who i worked with for a couple of yrs.He fell in love with his High school sweet heart. At 16yrs old had 3 kids only 1 - 2yrs apart from each other. He and his wife fight often.Always have. Split up several times.
Never really done anything thing with his life as far as adventure.Never been overseas.
I think he has travelled up to the Gold coast QLD maybe 3 times in his life he is now 31yrs old.

I don't know why anyone would want all that hassel that early in life.

The thought of having a relationship or kids was far from my mind at 16yrs old.
 liftnw8z2
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 42
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/3/2013 8:01:12 PM
Oh, and if you think it's hard now - wait til you hit 40...lol.
 nicdf81
Joined: 12/4/2012
Msg: 43
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/3/2013 8:09:57 PM
Most people at 30 have been there and done that, and generally if you are 30 and still dating you have had a crash and burn event. Something you yourself should consider, and anyone looking to date at this stage, what kind of people do I attract and what are my patterns that attract them (if these are the people you want this isn't an issue but i'm banking you want something different).
 MattyRSV4
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 44
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/3/2013 8:57:05 PM
Hi Reba323, I symathise completely with your dilema.. I have recently joined a boot camp training club, and have found quite a few success stories with people that have met within the club, and from what i've seen, they seem to have flourishing relationships.... I had a quick read of your profile before posting, and seen that you have entered to run a marathon, and among other things, you profile has shown me that you are an inteligent and motivated person.. And your pics are great also..
I think that getting out and involved in sporting types of activities will put you in touch with more highly motivated and focussed people, obviously also much fitter and toned than your 4 night a week pub type... As well as it's fun to have a laugh while sweating it out during a hard session.. One of my cousins joined a mixed netball team, and his social life has gone off the charts in the last 6 months..

I'd date you in a heartbeat... Some of us Aussies are suckers for a cute english girl :) Cheers Matt
 Makonnen
Joined: 11/8/2012
Msg: 45
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 1:27:27 AM
In your thirties, if you are sensible, you're going to be a little picky when dating. You have more to consider in who you choose to be around you: the responsibility, financial, & appearance factors. One wrong decision and your screwed.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 9:46:52 AM
"It's more difficult because the herd has been thinned. "

Based on current divorce rates that isn't true at all. Most of the women I encounter in their 30's either have been married before or have kids. I am not picky about that as I am an open minded person.

It is all about attitude because if you are super, super picky with your preferences when you hit 40 your options will feel even more diminished.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 47
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 10:34:01 AM
I'd say that it's a combination of things, as some posters have pointed out, the available pool of men/women is shrinking as one gets older. People either have been married before, are a little wary,and/or maybe carry baggage in the literal and figurative sense. And yes, one does get more picky as one gets older. .in terms of what one desires . .ie. someone who is fit (leads an active and healthy lifestyle), considerate, caring, intelligent, and also fiscally responsible, and of course, the attraction factor, too.
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 48
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 3:02:14 PM
These days 30's is actually the ideal time for settling down. Stats show that a very high percentage of people who got married in their 20's are now divorced.
People can be considered "damaged goods" at any age (men most definitely as well) and it depends on the person and their circumstances.

If you're a man or woman in your 30's who're looking to settle down, you're in a much better position as you're likely established, know what you want and you are likely stable. All the better for a lasting marriage and raising children. Many people I know got married mid-late 30's& started their family around the same time and they couldn't be happier.

In your 30's you're still quite young and most people are still fit and look good.
I don't think it's so much being in your 30's that makes dating more difficult, I think it just depends
on the person. I've been on here just a short while and was getting dates (with younger men, I'll add) left and right, and just started dating one of them :)

My confidence is much greater than when I was in my 20's and my body is even better :)
I know what I want in life and know how to get it.

Good luck!
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 49
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 4:40:43 PM
I think that's wht it is when guy sees me on her that what he is thinking I guess. Ok never married - like ok what a looser than no one wanted her. And o. POF. Ok what a looser since she can't find no one in real life work friends etc.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 5:46:09 PM
Hey KatarzynaLuiza

Does this mean I am a loser too? :(




:)
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 51
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 6:07:05 PM
^^^Neither of you are losers :) Online dating is simply a way to expand your dating pool as some people don't want to go out all the time to meet someone. Also, people are marrying much later these days and not having been married could be that you're holding out for the right person to have a lasting relationship with.
Remember, having" been" married before means you failed at your marriage, many might judge that as well.

Waiting for the right person beats settling for the wrong person any day. Confidence!!!!!

:))
 Marklar714
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 52
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 6:23:02 PM
I just turned 30 last month and yes It is hard for me to get a date. I work too much, a have a child in which a spend half the time (not complaining, just saying) with that said it's hard to get out and meet people, I also feel all my friends have dropped me ever sense I had a kid, they always presume me to be knee deep in diapers and they shouldn't even bother calling, **stards.

But honestly as 30 hits your friends get married or have real relationships and going out and having social interactions in limited and before you know it you're a lone wolf. Going out alone doesn't sound fun to me or anyone, hence social dating sites.

P.S. is it weird I still tend to go for girls in their 20's? I wanna know if that's presumed to be lame or creppy, so I don't do it no more.
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 53
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 6:35:12 PM
Marlar714, Perfect example as to why dating sites are so handy! To answer your question, it's not creepy if it's mid 20's& up. Usually people date within a few years of themselves whether it be younger or older. I date guys in their late 20's& don't notice a difference. It's not the age gap that's a big deal, it's that early 20's and early 30's people are in such completely different places.

Btw: I think a dad spending a lot if time with their child is an attractive quality :)

Good luck!
 MikeSaidPOF
Joined: 10/10/2010
Msg: 54
view profile
History
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 10:59:43 PM
I not going to make my post too long but all I have to say is I can relate, I can say that I am not picky but yet someone of us men seem to just be judged because im 30 and still lookin to date what's up with that...
 rgvmale
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 55
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/4/2013 11:14:09 PM
Hmm I agree with sunnyskies, prob. lowest I would go for something serious is like 23-24. Something not serious anything over 18 is fair game lol.
 CTCruiser
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 56
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:35:27 AM
Your 30s?

Wait until you pass 50 and THEN see how hard it is!

Women want nothing but the perfect male.....
 liftnw8z2
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 57
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/5/2013 10:37:21 AM
^^^ what he said, except I'd say "pass 40" instead. Definitely harder the older we get.
 cuteshortie75
Joined: 12/10/2012
Msg: 58
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/6/2013 4:30:11 PM
I think the dating pool is tough when you are in your mid to late 30's . I was in a long term relationship broke off an engagement and I am dating again after a two year break.. no kids, never married.. I get this question all the time, why are you single? no kids? ohhh you must not want kids! You must be picky , you need to lower your standards.. no thank you. or any number of other odd ball questions and assumptions. I just stay positive and trust that the right person will come along..
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 60
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:59:54 PM
The dating pool will become smaller if you have narrow age range because many people in their 30s are married or in relationships. However if a man expands his age range, then he could have many more potential options. Many women in their 20s prefer men that are older. Also some divorced women in their 40s prefer men that are younger. I'm not talking about huge age differences. But for example, a 27 yr old woman and a 43 yr old woman both could be interested in a 35 yr old man.
 Longlgz
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 62
view profile
History
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/6/2013 9:33:49 PM
Well said!!! Especially about the sex. Girls have needs too , why deny it :)
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 63
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/9/2013 8:33:39 PM
I don't find it harder at all! I have more confidence than I did in my 20's, am established and am just as fit& look good ;)
I tend to date men a bit younger (in their 20's ) including current guy, so my dating pool has also expanded.

=)
 BigZay37
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 64
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/9/2013 8:33:47 PM
LIFE IS TO SHORT TO WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING WE CAN'T CONTROL. SOME OF US DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE RIGHT BUT I'LL TAKE PEACE OVER B.S. ANY DAY STAY STRONG LIVE YOUR LIFE BE HAPPY TRUST ME IF HE IS OUT THERE HE WILL FIND YOU. WHEN HE DOSE SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT YOUR LIKES AND YOUR DISLIKES [ COMMUNICATION] WITH OUT THAT WHAT TO WE HAVE.. LIVE YOUR LIFE THE PAST MADE YOU STRONGER NOT WEAKER
 Pecan3Tan
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 65
view profile
History
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/9/2013 8:57:06 PM
I think several of the comments are so true. That its easier for men than woman because older men sometimes not always look for younger women. I have found that they view those of us with children as baggage. Because the woman that has children already doesn't want more so the men feel its to much of a hassel to help raise another mans child. And once you have been married and divorced you are more likely to find that some men don't want to remarry. Next you have to deal with the fact that they are just getting back into the dating mode if they are divorced and now have their freedom. Some man that have never been married do not what anything least than a woman that can bring equal things to the table. With that said I find it interesting that most of the men that are would date me are younger. I'm not sure if you have or do date younger men but that seems to be the in thing now. I for one would prefer a man that is older than myself it just doesn't seem to work out.

Sometimes it is good to take a self inventory of your life. See where you can compromise and where you are unwilling too. The man out here for you will be able to met those needs. I have encounted some great guys but because of previous relationships just didn't want to move to the next level. If you are looking for marriage or at least a stable relationship then it should be known up front. Don't waste your time with those that don't want the same things.
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 66
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/9/2013 10:19:26 PM
I wouldn't say that men have it any easier as plenty of guys in their 30's have kids...
maybe some women without kids won't date THEM because of this?? It goes both ways!
For every single mom there's a single dad.

Good luck!
 audit44
Joined: 7/14/2012
Msg: 67
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/10/2013 8:59:58 AM

^^^ what he said, except I'd say "pass 40" instead. Definitely harder the older we get.


EXACTLY What he said!!
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  >