Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 audit44
Joined: 7/14/2012
Msg: 69
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
If even a 1/4 of the women that posted in this thread saying they can't find a good man lived near me, I'd ask them out in a heartbeat. I'm so sick of hearing that I'm not good enough for them when I ask someone out. A friend of mine told me I should post a photo of my wife and I before she passed on and let the women see what good looks really are since she turned heads even when we went to the AVN awards in Vegas when I was the head of IT for a company there and also had a few movie offers but she couldn't do them due to her illness.

Ladies, we're not Ken and your not Barbie, we accept it, so should you.
 PeterBent
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 70
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/10/2013 7:01:28 PM
its harder because people are pickier and the population of singles shrink......
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 71
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/10/2013 9:59:24 PM
The truth is from your mid + 30s and struggling on a day to day basis "The boat has more then likely sailed"-From a guy's point of view.

The question is how do we come to terms with it and learn to accept that.
Its not the end of the world.
There are plenty of people who wish they were single...
 Puertorique
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 72
view profile
History
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/11/2013 12:17:25 AM
Pickiness? Rejection? Expectations? Holding on to the past? Hoping for a better future? Just not knowing? What it is we will not know until we walk that path and try. Capture the moment, and just say hello and see where it goes from there.
 CaptainTeebs
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 73
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/11/2013 8:30:58 AM
You recognize the "pattern" of who you attract, and are attracted to, and realize your unconscious selection process leads you to ultimately incompatible mates, but you know nothing about how to change it. That's why. I could tell you how to change it, but most don't really want to hear it.
You mention
All I attract

Try going for who you want, instead of waiting for others to initiate.
 clint1969
Joined: 4/2/2009
Msg: 74
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/13/2013 2:06:58 AM
well in my experiences women are the ones who want us to fit in with their lives, to me it is give and take. 50/50, the biggest thing i find is people have a type they want but that type is the one who always hurts them,,look outside the box, you never know what is there, plus most people judge others on their pic and a few words which to me is wrong,,i talk to everyone, never know what may or may not happen, the worst case is you make a new friend if nothing else, but thats only my thoughts
 clint1969
Joined: 4/2/2009
Msg: 75
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/13/2013 2:07:48 AM
wise words my friend,
 SuperFunGuy
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 76
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/13/2013 11:34:27 AM
So true, all about having confidence. But not overly confident. My thirties were great for dating. Even better now.
Finding great chemistry, ya its tough. Especially if someone is super picky. But these days you have to be. There are too many people out there who say who they are and when you meet them they are nothing like their profile. Usually I can tell from when I read their profile. A girl who says more in she profile is more interesting than a girl who leaves her profile blank.
 liftnw8z2
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 77
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/14/2013 9:33:24 AM
Heavens, don't be a guy who knows what you want, unless you want to be labeled an elitist.
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 78
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/14/2013 11:34:34 AM
^^^I would never date a guy that DIDN'T know what he wants. It's an attractive quality for both men and women to have =)
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 80
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/15/2013 8:27:57 AM

if the man I am dating usually goes out drinking with his mates 4 times per week..I have to put up with that and just be available for when he has time to see me. Or I am the one who gets cancelled on, so he can go out with his drinking buddies.

If you're always running into that, then you're attracted to guys who tend to be like that. Plain and simple. You have to broaden your horizons, which may include taste, too. They may have less of that "edge" that wets your palette. :)

I think a common problem (at least here in the US in most places), is the guy will want to go out to the bar a bit too much, but he will like his girl to come out most of those times -- assuming she doesn't pout and sigh and want to "go home" all the time too early, etc. He should make compromises on that, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it's just a downer either way because that isn't her thing. In that case, they're not a match and she's looking in the wrong places for a guy.

You can find a guy who doesn't have his free-time lifestyle as going to the bar all the time. Check yourself though: When in a relationship, do you not want to at least go to the bar, HAPPILY, with him 1-2 times a week and not commonly leave early? Gauge what you'd like... and aim for guys who seem to not fit in to "too much".
 matt051177
Joined: 6/13/2010
Msg: 81
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/15/2013 6:23:33 PM
I have a bit of an off-the-wall take on this, but bear with me.

I think a big part of the problem is that most of us start to accept the inevitability of getting old once we get into our 30's. I'm not saying that 30's is old, I'm just saying that at that age people start to lose that wonderful "whole life in front of you" feeling that was taken for granted in the teens and twenties.

In that headspace, I think a lot of us approach the search for a companion as the last chance to find that perfect life mate while we're still in a condition that bears some semblance of youthfulness. If we hitch ourselves to somebody less than perfect and have it fizzle out in a few years as a result, we find ourselves right back where we started, but with the additional drag of being wrinkly and gray. And frankly, that's terrifying.

So we respond by being picky. We form an ideal image in our minds of what our "last hurrah youthful and passionate soap opera love affair soulmate" looks like, and we are quick to find flaws in those who do not meet that ridiculous fairytale standard.

Now, to be clear, I'm not saying that the perfect union cannot be formed in your 40's, 50's, and beyond--I've had family members do just that--but thirtysomething myopia prevents us from seeing it that way.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/16/2013 7:38:20 AM
I agree with darknight48.

Men should be more empowered for dating in their 30's compared to women. But the men that believe the 30's are the drag dating-wise have their self confidence shot. Women need to accept that they can't continue to have so many barriers. Men need to accept that many women in their 30's have kids or have been married before, etc.
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 84
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/16/2013 10:06:03 AM
"Just like women need to accept that many men in their 30's have kids or have been married before, etc". It goes both ways.

Most men don't feel empowered in their 30's compared to women because they're not, sorry.
I'm super fit& look much younger compared to many guys I've seen in their 30's who are out of shape and what not. Hence why I have a 28 year old bf. :-)
 clint1969
Joined: 4/2/2009
Msg: 85
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/18/2013 4:06:02 AM
try dating in your 40's it is worse, women have the idea they can date multiple guys while at the same time ask you only to date them,,i am staying single, less shit to worry about and no lies,,,all i ask for is openess and honesty from the start, i am open and honest and not into stupid mind games but it seems the older women get the worse the games get,,sorry but i am better than that and i will keep enjoying life . smiling and laughing without a woman in my life,,life is worse now than 20 yrs ago,,no respect anymore,,anyway its life,,just keep smiling and be yourself, cheers
 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 86
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/18/2013 4:56:18 AM

Is it me or is it getting harder and harder to date in your thirties?

It is you.


I am told by my friends that I am too picky.

Listen to your friends. They know you better than some strangers on an Internet forum.


All I attract, is mummy's boys'

As your friends have said, you attract all types of guys. These are the guys you choose. Why do you choose them if you don't want them? What do you want?

Dating is as hard or as easy as you make it in any age group. If you are waiting for Mr. Right-Brad Pitt-James Bond, you're going to wind up as a regular here on the forums. There was only ever one perfect man on this planet, and we nailed Him to the cross 2000 years ago. You're just going to have to deal with the rest of us and our faults.
 tonym_jersey
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 87
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/20/2013 12:10:33 AM
There is a woman on youtube who is brilliant on the topic, you should give her a listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlvMAS_20K4
 00Link00
Joined: 4/28/2011
Msg: 88
view profile
History
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:59:37 PM
Woman are to picky because they have unlimted men dying to be with them. On the other hand a man doesn't have that issue so it's nearly impossible to find a girl sometimes.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 89
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 3/16/2013 7:39:26 AM
Bc man r to picky. I just yesterday two rejection when both of guy one called me and said he met someone else here n going give that a try sorry n other one said he is intrests in just being friends Wow now it is one of the moments u feel like shit no one want s
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 90
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 3/16/2013 7:47:40 AM
Plus any decent looking guy is just looking for hang out hook up or nothing serious. Are u guys kidding me? But yeah blame women. I did all I could I read thru profiles n even moved to MSG guys but eh don't seem to MSG me n nada. No even response so yeah it's all women
 Albvs
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 91
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 3/16/2013 9:10:50 AM
Shelf life?

People--men and women--are completely unrealistic in the dating world.

1) They arrive "with baggage" but don't want anyone else with same.
2) They wouldn't date anyone their own age or older... and yet they've shaved off five or ten years from their own age.
3) They have "a few extra pounds" and yet wouldn't date someone else in the same situation.
4) They don't have any money or a job but wouldn't date someone who's unemployed.
5) They expect their partner to have a better degree or more education than themselves.
6) They've been divorced but wouldn't date someone else who's been in the same situation.
7) They sporadically date three other people but dislike "players".
8) They have lost a lot of their youthful beauty and are unwilling to see this in themselves. They post ten-year-old photos on their profile. Even though they have some gray hairs and wrinkles they wouldn't date anyone else who had them.

I'd distill this down to: "You are who you date". If you date a young/beautiful person you feel young and beautiful. If you compromise and date someone who you (unrealistically) feel is older or less handsome then you've admitted defeat to the aging process. Time wins, you lose.
 JenSnider
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 92
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 3/16/2013 6:23:07 PM
For me, it's not so much about turning 30 as it is getting back into the dating scene.

1. I spent most of my 20s in a long-term relationship with somebody, and we broke up when I was just 5 months shy of turning 28.
2. The relationship I had with my ex was not healthy, and I had to take some time to prove to myself that I had self worth.
3. I moved back to my hometown. While this puts me closer to my family, and I love my family to pieces, there aren't very many single men around here who are good and decent people. If a man around here is my "dream" type, he's probably married already with a family.
 ryuoki
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 93
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 3/16/2013 7:08:30 PM
I for one am finding it harder to date in my 30s in my general area. I tend to feel the women are generally a bit too picky. I have one requirement in who I choose to contact for potential dates. I grew up an only child. I only have 1 child and the relationship with his mother just could not continue for personal reasons I do not want to get into. I would like to have one more before I get too much older. Late night feedings and all that by the 50s might just be the proverbial straw. So I tend to look for younger women for a longer lasting relationship. Unfortunately, I get ignored and I have no clue as to why entirely, but I trudge on. I have always wanted to have at least a boy and a girl as a legacy so I steer away from women who put NO as I do not want to 'waste their time'.

None of these so called numbered lists people have made do not apply to me. I am not overly picky on my end as long as I feel I could wake up seeing this woman day in and day out. I chose a few extra pounds because simply put, that I am just under 6' tall and weigh about 220, but I am not all soft and cuddly but also not 10% and lower in body fat like I was in my early 20s. I weigh more than the average male....well muscle wise I do. Here in America with so many over weight people......I might actually weigh the same as the average man. But I can lift a whole lot heavier weights. So a few extra pounds is not an issue as long as I find the woman reasonably attractive. I know for a fact that the general woman who most men would file away as HOT or a 7-10 on the scale want nothing to do with me. But I gave it a shot anyway and of course 50% straight away deleted my messages. Of the other 50% about 50% of them read and deleted the message and that last 25% went and viewed my profile and still did not respond. Last month that was 90+ women. I counted the sent messages. That is one reason I leave them there, also so I do not contact that woman again (till the system cleans out the oldest).

So yes dating in the 30s has not been all that great of an experience for me. I am now going 100+ mile radius to see new faces. I am afraid that I might have to go to a 500 mile radius just to find a woman who is just open to conversation. And here in Texas 500 miles is not that far fetched.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 94
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 3/17/2013 1:29:00 AM

All I attract



Try going for who you want, instead of waiting for others to initiate.


If it were that simple, there would be no need for POF.
 hippy_dude
Joined: 2/26/2013
Msg: 95
Why Does It Seem To Be Getting Harder To Date In Your Thirties?
Posted: 3/17/2013 4:20:43 AM
yes it gets harder dating after 30 years old. you see your body changing, your teeth , hair . before you know it youre almost 40 and you keep hearing why are you not married ?. when you are you getting married.
times have changed and dating has changed . in my opinion dating or finding a good relationship is more diffucult then it use to be.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  >